xp_logs | Amanda, Angelo - Tuesday lunchtime

After this fight with Manuel and the subsequent 'time off', Angelo runs into Amanda in the kitchen and she tells him (mostly) what happened. In the process they establish that neither wants to lose the other's friendship, no matter how much hassle is involved.

As soon as Art was over, Amanda headed for the kitchen for supplies - Manuel's mini-fridge had come in handy, but tended more towards the liquids than the solids, and she was starving. As was he; she could feel his hunger pangs through the link, as well as a certain amount of impatience that she wasn't back yet. Sending back the emotional equivalent of a 'hold yer bloody horses', she set about making a pile of sandwiches and filling a plastic bag with fruit, gnawing on an apple as she did. She was just cutting the sandwiches into manageable halves, apple gripped firmly in her mouth, when Angelo came in.

He frowned slightly when he entered the room and saw her, concerned by her absence from classes for the last almost-two days, but couldn't keep from laughing when she turned to face him. "Hungry, were you?" he asked lightly. "You weren't in classes - you been okay?"

"Mmf mmmf mnf!" Amanda realised talking would be a lot easier if she in fact didn't have a mouthful of apple, and set down the knife, taking a bite out of the apple before grabbing it. "Fine," she said indistinctly as she chewed. "Been a bit... busy." The grin on her face told him exactly what _kind_ of busy. "Found one of the perks of stayin' around t' fix a fight - the makeup sex is kind of intense."

Angelo raised an eyebrow, amused. "Obviously. Two days kind of intense."

"All in proportion t' the fight," Amanda shrugged, dumping sandwiches on a plate one-handed, the other being occupied with her apple.

Angelo winced while he thought she wasn't looking, not really wanting to ask about her fight with Manuel or what might have caused it, but not knowing what else to say.

With a sigh, Amanda kept up her food collecting. "No, 'm fine, thanks for askin'," she muttered mostly to herself. "Nice t' know yer concerned enough t' ask why the fight in the first place, 'specially since it was about you."

Angelo glanced at her sharply, and tried to keep the snap out of his tone, not entirely successfully, worn down and overstressed as he was. "Yeah, well, clearly you're fine. An' I figured it might be - after the last couple of days, aren't too many other basic topics it'd be about. Didn't think you'd want to talk to me about it..."

"Who else would I talk to about it? I ain't in the habit of discussin' me private life with anyone much, an' since you were the topic of conversation Sunday night, I figured I ought t' tell you. But yer obviously couldn't give a rat's 'bout anythin' I had t' say t' stop him from rippin' you a new one then an' there, or just _why_ it got so intense, so I won't worry." Irritated by Angelo's attitude, Amanda prepared to go off in a huff. "Should've expected it."

Angelo opened his mouth to say something else, then just sighed, slumping onto one of the kitchen stools, looking defeated. When he spoke, something in his voice - something very, very tired and disturbingly old - stopped her in her tracks. "Amanda, I'm sorry. Didn't mean it. Tell me what happened?"

Mollified - and just a bit guilty about adding to Angelo's obvious stress - Amanda took a seat on one of the other stools. "He thought I'd slept with you. On Saturday night. He got some stuff from the link and jumped t' entirely the wrong conclusion. I'd never seen him so upset an' angry. Or felt it." She winced slightly at the memory of him shoving his emotions down the link at her. "I got through t' him eventually, tho' it took a bit. Even offered t' not let him see me talkin' t' you, since it gets on his rag so much."

A flash of pain appeared on Angelo's face, just for a moment, at that idea, before he forced it back down. "You offered?" he asked neutrally.

"Didn't want to, but I had t' offer somethin'. This link... it lets me feel what he's feelin', an' he really believes that you enjoy makin' him remember the asylum. It's really fuckin' with his head, t' the point he..." Amanda had been about to say 'he hurt me to get his point across', but realised that would be a really dumb idea, especially to Angelo. "It was the best compromise I could do - an' I ain't big on those. Besides, it wouldn't be like I would never talk t' you ever again, just when Manny's around. An' you'd probably never even miss me. Be less trouble t' you, at least." She tried to mask her own unhappiness at having to even make the suggestion with her old, mocking tone.

Angelo nodded miserably. "I wish I knew how to make him not believe that - that first time, I didn't even know he'd been in an asylum, let alone what happened there, 'til he told me. An' as far as I can remember, since then, I haven't mentioned anythin' where he'd see it that could remind him. Certainly haven't done on purpose..." He sighed, then put his fears into words. "An' it seems like Manny might be around with you a lot more from now on, so even if you were only not talkin' to me then... An' you shouldn't talk like that. You know how many real friends I got here, 'specially since Sarah an' Shinobi left? I could count you on one hand, without even stretchin' to double up. I would miss you, don't doubt it." He paused before forcing the next words out, slowly, trying not to choke on them. "But... if that's how you wanted it... if it'd make things easier on you..."

A smile crept across Amanda's face as Angelo went on, beginning at 'An' you shouldn't talk like that...' and peaking at '...if it'd make things easier on you...'. She leaned across the counter, still smiling broadly. "It's not how I want it, an' lucky for us, it's not how it's gunna be. Manny promised t' let it drop, an' without me havin' t' stop talkin' t' you into the bargain," she said, and now her smile was teasing, just a little. "I doubt he'll ever be yer best mate or nothin', but he's promised t' leave you alone. Best I could do."

Angelo smiled back, only a little hesitantly. "Best I could hope for, too, with the way things stand. Thank you."

"Makes the headache worth it then," she said, sitting back and resuming gnawing on her apple. "Did you mean that, 'bout missin' me if I didn't talk t' you, I mean? 'Cause it means a lot, if you did. I figured you wouldn't care either way, after all the shite I put you through, what with Rack an' me powers an' all."

"I don't say what I don't mean", he reminded her quietly. "Not like that, anyway. An' I got myself into that, remember? You didn't make me go with you. The only thing might've been when you were withdrawin', but that's history."

"It is?" she asked, her expression hopeful. "I mean, I fucked you over but good, an' then I find out it made you hurt yerself... I can't forgive meself, so I don't see why you should. An' I don't expect you too, neither. But I want you to, more 'n I've wanted a lot of things. An' I can't help wonderin' why the hell you put up with me, when I'm nothin' but grief t' you."

"Doesn't the fact that I do put up with you tell you somethin'?" he asked, voice still quiet. "You weren't yourself back then, an' you were tryin' to do what you thought was best. Could've gone about it better, but don't they say it's the intent that counts? Think of it like - I've forgiven you, an' workin' on the trust, so why shouldn't you forgive yourself?"

"'Cause I ain't very good at it?" Amanda tried to make a joke of it, but not very successfully. She shrugged. "I'm tryin'. I thought I was gettin' somewhere 'til I found out about you burnin' yerself, an' this stuff with Manny. All I ever seem t' do is cause you hassle. I s'pose I'm worried one day you'll decide I'm too much effort an' drop me."

Angelo laughed, but more wryly than actually amused. "Funny thing? I worry about the exact same thing. The stuff with Manny, yeah, an' no real reason I can figure out, but there it is. Guess we'll have to make a deal - no droppin' each other."

"We seem t' make deals a lot," Amanda said, her smile much more genuine this time. "'S what we understand, I s'pose." She reached across the counter to offer him her hand. "'S a deal."

Angelo shook her hand, giving it a quick squeeze before he let go. "Seems to work for us."

"Makes it all simpler, I s'pose." Amanda shrugged, sliding off the stool and collecting her supplies. "I'd better go - ain't nothin' like havin' a hungry empath in the back of yer head." She paused, though, and the expression on her face as she smiled at was relieved, as if something that had been bothering her for a while had been settled. "'M glad, that you think I'm worth the effort. I'll try not t' let you down."

"Same here", he told her with a slight but genuine smile, hopping down from his own stool. He hesitated, then held out his arms. "C'mere, you."

There was barely a pause before Amanda accepted the offered hug. It was the first time Angelo had acted first without her being in a State, and that, more than anything that had been said, erased any lingering doubts about whether it was friendship or a sense of obligation from her healing him that made him stick around. She clamped down on her feelings, not really wanting to explain to Manuel later exactly what had made her feel so happy. "Thanks, big brother," she said at last, her voice muffled against his chest.

Angelo grinned down at her, giving her a last quick squeeze before letting her go. "Any time. Trouble." He ruffled her hair affectionately as he stepped back, and watched her leave the room with a smile.