xp_logs | Think of the Children - Haller and Shatterstar

Shatterstar and Haller talk about Haller having met Benjamin.

"Good work today, Shatterstar -- oh, can you hang on a minute?"

Shatterstar had been out of the chair and almost to the door as soon as he and Haller's psychic training session was over. It had been the first one since Haller had cancelled a few sessions when Jessica Jones arrived- therefore the first one since Haller met Benjamin. Shatterstar's shoulders fell and he turned around stiffly. "What?"

The telepath looked at him, one eyebrow raised. "Were we ever going to talk about me meeting Benjamin?"

"No," Shatterstar simply and started for the door again. "Can I go now?"

"Technically yes, but I'd rather you didn't. These practice sessions aren't getting your full attention when all you can think about is how fast you can get out of here."

Of course Haller knew he was thinking about leaving. And of course Haller had to push on his need to be the best. The worst part is that Shatterstar knew that's what the older man was doing but it still worked. It was true that he wouldn't be as successful as psychic defense if he wasn't focussed. He returned to the chair and sat, holding his knees. "Fine."

Jim smiled. "Thanks," he said. He refilled his glass of water from the pitcher he kept on the table during long sessions. "I was surprised to see him. He brought me some exercises because he could tell something was going on. It was a nice gesture."

"It was his idea," Shatterstar said, trying not to glance at the door behind him. He was glad, on one hand, that there was someone Benjamin felt comfortable around. On the other, he felt like Benjamin wasn't honoring their agreement of Shatterstar fronting and Benjamin dealing with internal things. Plus, what if something happened and Shatterstar couldn't protect him or the body? "You were obviously doing shitty."

"So everyone told me," the telepath replied dryly. "But it was still thoughtful of him. Does he normally take the initiative like that?"

"Why do you want to know?" Shatterstar said, shifting uncomfortably. The image of their arrest flashed to the forefront of his mind. That's why they decided that Shatterstar should be the one to front. Surprisingly, he was less hot-headed than Benjamin, less likely to panic as well. Initiative was something Shatterstar had been trying to get Benjamin to avoid- or at least think through.

"I just wondered what it's like for you two." For an instant Jim hesitated, then shook his head. "Davey doesn't take the initiative often with me, but when he does there's no processing. I only know after it's already happened."

"We don't really get the no memory thing unless we're both out of it," Shatterstar said. "Haven't I told you that before? I know what Benjamin is doing." That didn't mean he was able to prevent or control it, but Haller didn't need to know that.

Jim's mouth quirked as he took a drink of water. The non-answer didn't escape his attention. "You didn't, actually. But I get it. I just asked because you don't seem happy about his decision, that's all."

"I'm not, like, his warden," Shatterstar said even if Benjamin would probably argue that sometimes that's exactly what Shatterstar acted like. Shatterstar mentally told him to shut up. He only acted like that when he absolutely needed to. He didn't like being the bad guy.

"I didn't say that. I just said you didn't seem happy that we met."

"You and the cowboy probably wouldn't be happy if your kid met me," he pointed out. It wasn't anything personal. Honestly, Haller was the best option.

The counselor gave him a one-shouldered shrug. "Jack might be okay with it. I'd be uncomfortable, yeah, but that's because Davey and I aren't co-conscious. There wouldn't be any oversight." Not from me, anyway.

Someday he would remember Jack's name.

Shatterstar shrugged noncommittally. "I mean, I guess I'd rather it be you."

Jim laughed at that. "Well, I appreciate that ringing endorsement," he said, although from a teenaged boy generally and Shatterstar specifically it was dangerously close to being just that. He got up and moved to get something from one of his desk drawers.

"Anyway, since Benjamin was nice enough to write out those exercises, I thought I'd give you something, too. Someone told me a handout about my system would be useful, so I made you a copy." He handed Shatterstar a sheet of paper. "In case you want to put faces to them," Jim explained.

"Are you expecting to get to see us? Because neither of us draw," Shatterstar said while he flipped through the handout.

Jim was a talented artist, and he did like having a face to put to Cyndi and Jack. The handout was mostly stuff Shatterstar already knew, but it could be useful. Still, something about it bothered him. "You really shouldn't advertise like this... Should I keep this?"

"You can if you want. But keep it to yourself, if you don't mind. I mostly made it for new teammates. The X-Men all know, and Jack and Cyndi do more in the field than I do." The telepath shrugged. "The page on Davey is just for your reference, though. After meeting Benjamin it only seemed fair."

Shatterstar handed it back to Jim, just in case. It wasn't that he didn't trust his new roommate but Liam was a cat and cats got into everything. Better safe than sorry. "You didn't have to show me about Davey," he said.

But I want to meet him, even if he is younger than me, Benjamin projected into Shatterstar's head. He winced a little. Benji could be loud.

"But thanks. I think."