LOG: 'On Magic' - Shatterstar and Rictor
Dec. 18th, 2023 06:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsShatterstar and Rictor look at the stars and talk about magic. Back dated to 12/18/2023
They were standing by the quarry again, mirroring one of the first times they ever met. Shatterstar's nose was pink from the frost. The sun was setting so early now- out here you could see the stars by 5:30 pm. You couldn't see the stars in the city.
He'd always been fascinated by space. Always felt like he was something else from somewhere else- maybe beyond the stars.
"Is it the same constellations in Mexico?" He asked Rictor, not sure what to say. Rictor made him so unsure of himself sometimes. He didn't like it, or at least he didn't like that he didn't mind it.
Rictor was quickly learning that while a New York autumn was lovely, if depressing as the trees gradually shed their vivid red, orange, and yellow leaves, winter was awful. How could people live like this? He had to wear shoes outside to keep warm. Shoes! On the bare ground! Terrible. But it was either that or stay indoors for four-plus months, which of course was far worse. Plus, Shatterstar had asked for company, and it was nice to actually have friends.
Stuffing his gloved hands into the pockets of his comically puffy but warm winter jacket, Rictor nodded affirmatively at Shatterstar's question. "Sí. I think the stars are different when you pass the equator, but Mexico is still far north of that."
"I like that you can see them here. I don't miss that about Boston." There was very little Shatterstar missed about Boston, and he was regretting his original hesitancy to come to Xavier's and his insistence to come home for holidays. He would rather stay here than in a lonely apartment with a man who saw a ghost when he looked at him. The mansion felt more like home than home had since, well since before Shatterstar had been going by Shatterstar.
"Do you miss Mérida?"
"Not as much as I expected to," Rictor answered, surprised by his own response. "I've come to the United States on vacation once or twice, but I've always lived in México, so I thought it would be difficult to live here. But I like it. I'm learning a lot from Amanda." Theoretically, at least. He still could not manage the most basic spell even when he felt himself brimming with the Earth's energy. "I do miss chiichii and tata. I worried that they might be in trouble after all the train stuff, but they seem to be left alone."
Shatterstar nodded, his own hands in the front pocket of his sweatshirt. "You seem really close to them," Shatterstar said, with something like a melancholy envy. He had always struggled to connect with people and Benjamin pushed them away. "Hey, what is Amanda teaching you?" he asked curiously. He was open about his training with Terry and even his shooting practice with Mr. Sydney, but either he hadn't pressed as much as he should about Rictor's lessons to be an 'active listener', or Rictor was keeping it closer to his chest. He also didn't really know what it was Amanda did.
"Basic principles of magic." He had no reason to be embarrassed about what he was studying, but Rictor still felt shy admitting it, especially when . . . "I have not made progress." He was failing. He sighed. "I understand everything she teaches me, but I can't do anything, ¿entiendes? It sucks."
Shatterstar stared at the sky like it would reveal the answer that Rictor was looking for and slowly mulled over his answer. "Maybe you aren't supposed to do the magic," he said finally, thinking about how he wasn't exactly a mutant. All his months at Xavier's had not changed that belief. "Maybe you're just supposed to be it, or let it move through you. Or maybe she's teaching you the wrong sort of magic. All Harry Potter and Gandalf instead of Dark Crystal gelflings and Radal-gast or whatever his name is from the Hobbit movies."
"Yeah, maybe." Or, as was becoming increasingly clear, maybe he really didn't have the aptitude for it. Maybe all he could do, all he could ever do, was these maldito earthquakes. Not magic at all. "How long will you be home this time?" he asked to change the subject. "Liam is taking Sharon home with him, so it will just be me and Match here, and he has a job most of the time."
Shatterstar saw the frustration on Rictor's face and knocked his arm against his shoulder in a show of support. He believed that Rictor could do magic. He just had to find the right way to do it, Shatterstar was sure of it. "I'm taking the same train as the Cats, but I should be home mid-day on the 27th. I might try to come back on the 26th."
He didn't say he would rather be here. He didn't think he had to.
A squeezing sensation Rictor could not name tightened in his chest, but it was not altogether unpleasant. He did find himself smiling softly at the prospect of not spending too many days by himself. "Do you think your uncle will be upset that you may not stay for longer? Well, your Thanksgiving was so recent and you did go home then, so maybe it won't be a problem."
Shatterstar shook his head. "He won't mind," he said with certainty. "I think he recognizes I'm not like other people, or even other mutants and doesn't know what to do with it." He opened his mouth like he was going to say something else but instead just knocked his shoulder into Julio again.
"I think you'll be a good druid." He said finally, turning his face back to the stars with a longing. "Why else would the Earth talk to you?"
If Shatterstar kept losing his balance like that, they were both going to fall over. Smiling softly at the compliment, he took a small step away to give them both space. "Yeah, maybe you're right. Uh, but can I ask, what do you mean you're not like other mutants?"
He should have realized that he was overstepping bounds with Rictor by touching him so much, Shatterstar thought as he stepped away. After all, it was only with him that Shatterstar liked being touched. He shouldn't have assumed Rictor liked being touched by him. "I always felt like I was someone else from somewhere else, just brought into this body," he explained, and then because he didn't think Julio would judge him he added. "As if by magic." He wasn't ready to show Rictor the VHS he felt he had originally been ripped from but... someday. Maybe even someday soon.
Rictor turned to look quizzically at Shatterstar. He certainly knew well that feeling of being alien and not fitting in, but not to the extent Star hinted. Still, who was he to deny the other boy's feelings about himself? Rictor knew of several myths and legends of great cosmic beings coming to the world in mortal guise. It wouldn't be out of the question if Star were that himself.
"Pues, maybe you are," Rictor suggested with a gentle smile. "And maybe whatever brought you here and whatever holds me to the earth did those things for a reason and made us meet each other."
Shatterstar turned away from Rictor as he tried to catalog the emotion he was feeling at what he said.
He was still facing away from him when he softly said. "I would like that."
They were standing by the quarry again, mirroring one of the first times they ever met. Shatterstar's nose was pink from the frost. The sun was setting so early now- out here you could see the stars by 5:30 pm. You couldn't see the stars in the city.
He'd always been fascinated by space. Always felt like he was something else from somewhere else- maybe beyond the stars.
"Is it the same constellations in Mexico?" He asked Rictor, not sure what to say. Rictor made him so unsure of himself sometimes. He didn't like it, or at least he didn't like that he didn't mind it.
Rictor was quickly learning that while a New York autumn was lovely, if depressing as the trees gradually shed their vivid red, orange, and yellow leaves, winter was awful. How could people live like this? He had to wear shoes outside to keep warm. Shoes! On the bare ground! Terrible. But it was either that or stay indoors for four-plus months, which of course was far worse. Plus, Shatterstar had asked for company, and it was nice to actually have friends.
Stuffing his gloved hands into the pockets of his comically puffy but warm winter jacket, Rictor nodded affirmatively at Shatterstar's question. "Sí. I think the stars are different when you pass the equator, but Mexico is still far north of that."
"I like that you can see them here. I don't miss that about Boston." There was very little Shatterstar missed about Boston, and he was regretting his original hesitancy to come to Xavier's and his insistence to come home for holidays. He would rather stay here than in a lonely apartment with a man who saw a ghost when he looked at him. The mansion felt more like home than home had since, well since before Shatterstar had been going by Shatterstar.
"Do you miss Mérida?"
"Not as much as I expected to," Rictor answered, surprised by his own response. "I've come to the United States on vacation once or twice, but I've always lived in México, so I thought it would be difficult to live here. But I like it. I'm learning a lot from Amanda." Theoretically, at least. He still could not manage the most basic spell even when he felt himself brimming with the Earth's energy. "I do miss chiichii and tata. I worried that they might be in trouble after all the train stuff, but they seem to be left alone."
Shatterstar nodded, his own hands in the front pocket of his sweatshirt. "You seem really close to them," Shatterstar said, with something like a melancholy envy. He had always struggled to connect with people and Benjamin pushed them away. "Hey, what is Amanda teaching you?" he asked curiously. He was open about his training with Terry and even his shooting practice with Mr. Sydney, but either he hadn't pressed as much as he should about Rictor's lessons to be an 'active listener', or Rictor was keeping it closer to his chest. He also didn't really know what it was Amanda did.
"Basic principles of magic." He had no reason to be embarrassed about what he was studying, but Rictor still felt shy admitting it, especially when . . . "I have not made progress." He was failing. He sighed. "I understand everything she teaches me, but I can't do anything, ¿entiendes? It sucks."
Shatterstar stared at the sky like it would reveal the answer that Rictor was looking for and slowly mulled over his answer. "Maybe you aren't supposed to do the magic," he said finally, thinking about how he wasn't exactly a mutant. All his months at Xavier's had not changed that belief. "Maybe you're just supposed to be it, or let it move through you. Or maybe she's teaching you the wrong sort of magic. All Harry Potter and Gandalf instead of Dark Crystal gelflings and Radal-gast or whatever his name is from the Hobbit movies."
"Yeah, maybe." Or, as was becoming increasingly clear, maybe he really didn't have the aptitude for it. Maybe all he could do, all he could ever do, was these maldito earthquakes. Not magic at all. "How long will you be home this time?" he asked to change the subject. "Liam is taking Sharon home with him, so it will just be me and Match here, and he has a job most of the time."
Shatterstar saw the frustration on Rictor's face and knocked his arm against his shoulder in a show of support. He believed that Rictor could do magic. He just had to find the right way to do it, Shatterstar was sure of it. "I'm taking the same train as the Cats, but I should be home mid-day on the 27th. I might try to come back on the 26th."
He didn't say he would rather be here. He didn't think he had to.
A squeezing sensation Rictor could not name tightened in his chest, but it was not altogether unpleasant. He did find himself smiling softly at the prospect of not spending too many days by himself. "Do you think your uncle will be upset that you may not stay for longer? Well, your Thanksgiving was so recent and you did go home then, so maybe it won't be a problem."
Shatterstar shook his head. "He won't mind," he said with certainty. "I think he recognizes I'm not like other people, or even other mutants and doesn't know what to do with it." He opened his mouth like he was going to say something else but instead just knocked his shoulder into Julio again.
"I think you'll be a good druid." He said finally, turning his face back to the stars with a longing. "Why else would the Earth talk to you?"
If Shatterstar kept losing his balance like that, they were both going to fall over. Smiling softly at the compliment, he took a small step away to give them both space. "Yeah, maybe you're right. Uh, but can I ask, what do you mean you're not like other mutants?"
He should have realized that he was overstepping bounds with Rictor by touching him so much, Shatterstar thought as he stepped away. After all, it was only with him that Shatterstar liked being touched. He shouldn't have assumed Rictor liked being touched by him. "I always felt like I was someone else from somewhere else, just brought into this body," he explained, and then because he didn't think Julio would judge him he added. "As if by magic." He wasn't ready to show Rictor the VHS he felt he had originally been ripped from but... someday. Maybe even someday soon.
Rictor turned to look quizzically at Shatterstar. He certainly knew well that feeling of being alien and not fitting in, but not to the extent Star hinted. Still, who was he to deny the other boy's feelings about himself? Rictor knew of several myths and legends of great cosmic beings coming to the world in mortal guise. It wouldn't be out of the question if Star were that himself.
"Pues, maybe you are," Rictor suggested with a gentle smile. "And maybe whatever brought you here and whatever holds me to the earth did those things for a reason and made us meet each other."
Shatterstar turned away from Rictor as he tried to catalog the emotion he was feeling at what he said.
He was still facing away from him when he softly said. "I would like that."
