xp_logs | (Backdated) Jessica, Felicia, Sharon: Cats in the Hall

xp_catseye posting in

Shortly after the flooding of District X someone (Jessica) stumbles upon a disturbing development (Sharon). This traditionally unstable pairing is mitigated by the arrival of a surprise third element (Felicia). Backdated to November 7th.

Jessica knew, instinctively, that she should back away slowly and hope that she wasn't noticed. This wawhat she normally did when encountering something bizarre in the hallways of the mansion, an occurrence so regular as to be almost homey by now. But even though she knew that she should creep away - or dive out a window - seeing Sharon gently bouncing while cooing to herself was too fucking weird to leave alone. This was Jessica's fatal flaw, a curiosity that had to be sated.

"Okay - are you having a mental breakdown, or is this a cat thing?"

The cooing stopped, and the shapeshifter turned to face her. Jessica had time to notice two things: one, the girl was wearing a baby sling, and two, it appeared to be occupied.

"Oh, it is Jessica." Sharon regarded her with an expression of serenity only slightly marred by what was obviously a stubborn case of conjunctivitis. The taller girl cradled the sling in her arms, still rocking gently. "No, is not a cat thing. I am taking my children for a walk."

The brunette woman's stare went from Sharon's gross, pink eye to the churning but opaque sling across her body. "What the fuck do you have in there," she said flatly. "If it's snakes - "

There was a flash of purple as Sharon's tail lashed indignantly. "How dare you speak to my sons this way," Sharon said. She hunched over the sling and twitched the edge down. "Come, children. Introduce yourselves to the rude woman."

Two feline faces appeared over the top of the fabric. The first was small, grey, and alert. The second was grey with a white chin, and would have been much cuter if not for what appeared to be a truly Lovecraftian eye infection. Both peered at Jessica with a sort of stunned curiosity.

Jessica tried not to look relieved - she didn't exactly want Sharon to build an army of kittens, but it was certainly and objectively better than an army of snakes. "Did - did you catch pinkeye from one of those things?"

Sharon stared Jessica eye-to-swollen-eye and said, totally deadpan, "I have no idea to what you are referring."

Meeting her (disgusting) eyes for a long moment, Jessica gave up and sighed. "Keep those diseased rodents under control," she said, to be as offensive as possible, and turned to leave.

"Felicia!" The utterance was directed to someone coming around the corner. Sharon rushed over to meet the newcomer, the tip of her high tail curved Due Hardy.

"Felicia," Sharon repeated, her excitement palpable, "I have been waiting. Want to introduce you to my sons." She bounced the sling as she added, pointedly, "Disadvantaged orphans of natural disaster, or as Jessica calls them, 'diseased rodents'."

If she was startled it, somehow, didn't show; Felicia made a soft noise coming closer with her hand outstretched, fingertips curled in to give the kittens something to sniff. "How rude of her," she said, flicking a quick smile and wink over Sharon's shoulder at Jessica, her features already shifted by the time Sharon looked up. "Who's who then?"

"Names have been bestowed upon them by Match," Sharon explained as the kittens investigated Felicia's scent, or possibly her manicure. "Grey is Toothless. The oozing one is known as Lightning McQueen. Infection does not cross the species barrier, but I am susceptible. Troublesome child. Now we both require eye drops. I suffer in my maternity." As she spoke a tiny white-tipped paw, utterly indifferent to this suffering, had extended itself from the sling and towards Felicia's hand. Sharon beamed with pride. "But see, they are precocious. Already they recognize people of quality."

“A benefit of superior parenting as well I’m sure. My congratulations to you both,” Felicia replied, the compliment easy and warm as the kitten nabbed her index finger, crooking to pull it towards him. “Hello boys, it is very nice to meet you.”

Preening with maternal gratification, Sharon turned her slitted yellow eyes on Jessica and smirked. It distracted her from the vaguely guilty knowledge her hair was currently gathered in one of Felicia's stolen scrunchies.

"Careful," Jessica said to Felicia, dryly. "You don't want to try to accessorize pinkeye."

Sharon turned to Felicia in triumphant confirmation. "See? At every turn she insults my children."

Felicia slid a playfully disapproving lowering of her lashes over at Jessica as an offering, giving her head a small shake. "Easier to pair with than an obvious overcompensation for emotions," she said, moving her captured finger so that the little white paw waved at her. "No one hates kittens, Jessica."

"No one hates kittens, Jessica," agreed Sharon. She bounced the bundle of kittens in Jessica's direction again, gently, so as not to disturb Lightning's communion with Felicia. "They are only little," she pointed out.

"I don't hate kittens," Jessica said, rolling her eyes. "I just don't approve of kittens raising kittens. You even caught its disease."

Sharon sniffed. "Slander. I am a married woman. Our family is the height of propriety."

"Bullshit. I know I don't pay Match enough to support a family."

"And whose fault is that?" Felicia asked, grabbing the hem of Jessica's jacket. She interlaced their fingers, directing them towards where she'd been scritching Lightning gently under the chin; a trade hand for hand. The scent was similar with them linked like this, and the kitten continued to allow the rubbing of a finger under his chin, eyes closed. "It'd be so easy to get me to owe you a favour. I could teach him QuickBooks. You could have heat like a real girl."

Jessica's eyebrows creased. "But with the kid, heat is free." Mysteriously, she did not stop giving the kitten chin rubs.

"Workplace exploitation," Sharon proclaimed, as if Match's status as a human space heater had not been a major boon to their union. No, she thought as she watched Jessica give in to Felicia's gentle suggestion and stroke her adopted son, certainly there were no similarities there whatsoever.