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xp_logsWhile setting to fix the damage caused by Shatterstar's and Jack's confrontation, the boys exchange Christmas presents and secrets.
"Thank you for agreeing to help with... this," Shatterstar said, still stiff and blank-faced like he had been when he came to the mansion when he surveyed the wreckage around him and Julio. The ground had potholes and blasted areas- his doing- and one tree was severed - Haller's. Someone had gotten dirt shipped in to help fill in the holes. "You are a good..." He struggled at the word friend. Jack's words about only needing yourself run in his ears. "...companion to help clean up my mess."
Rictor whistled as he surveyed the damage to the grounds. It was impressive in a scary, daunting sort of way. "Ay. What happened here?" He did not have Arthur's gift to see the past, but when he knelt and touched the cold ground, he ached. There was trauma here. He stood back up and eyed Shatterstar. "Claro, I'm happy to help."
"Haller and I had an... argument," Shatterstar grimaced. "It got out of hand." He tugged his hair, giving away his reluctance to talk about it. It wasn't that he didn't want Rictor to know- it was he didn't want to be the one who had to explain why tempers flared so much. He knew it wasn't out of character of what Rictor knew of him- but it hadn't been him, exactly. "I'll follow your lead for what needs to be done here."
The job forgotten for a moment, Rictor, concern written all over his face stepped closer to Shatterstar. "Are you good, güey? What were you fighting about?" A short temper and minor acts of violence were characteristic of his friend; after all, that's how they first met. But this level of destruction was beyond that, and what little Rictor knew of Haller from rumors and whispers, he was not the kind of person who would provoke such an outburst.
"It came to ahead when Haller said he couldn't be our father," Shatterstar said in a small, embarassed voice as he realized he used the word 'our'. But, in for a penny, in for a pound. "We reacted badly. Then Haller reacted badly to that." He moved to start on the work so that he didn't have to face Rictor as he decided if he should explain more. "But it's what we get for worrying about Haller's almost dying," he added, almost as an aside.
"Uh, who is 'we'?" Rictor asked, frozen in place. There was something particularly unusual about how Shatterstar spoke, and Rictor did not like it.
Shatterstar froze for a moment, having almost hoped to just brush past that even though he had been opening himself up for it. "There's something I need to tell you," he said, unable to face Rictor. "Do you remember the night we talked about magic?"
"Yeah." It was literally a week ago. "I don't think Amanda is teaching me the wrong kind of magic, though. She's an expert, she knows what to teach. Why?"
"Not about that," he said, slightly annoyed. "I told about how I felt I was brought to this body right?" He said, starting to move snow with a shovel so they could get at the damage underneath. "It's... Because there was someone already here. It's why I never have you call me Ben. There already was a Benjamin Russell."
He had never explained this to someone he didn't already know would understand or who had a file on him in front of him. "So. We. Benjamin Russell and I."
Rictor felt like the meme of the lady with the math equations. He was sure a full, reasonable explanation was there, it just wasn't fully assembling in his head. "So, you . . . espera, I don't . . . Shatterstar isn't just a nickname, you are a different person?"
"I understand that this can be hard to understand," Shatterstar said, stealing a glance at Rictor. He didn't seem to be upset Shatter kept this from him... "Psis here and doctors elsewhere have confirmed it," he said, trying to make Rictor understand. "Different enough to be distinct from each other."
"Huh." Rictor supposed he should have been less credulous of this revelation, but in the scheme of things, he had certainly heard of weirder. And really, who was Rictor to posit that Shatterstar wasn't a visitor from afar, that the real Benjamin Russell wasn't a special person chosen for a higher purpose? Although he hated thinking the word "real," because Shatterstar was real. He was right here! "Have I ever met Benjamin? Or have you always been Shatterstar to me?"
"Maybe for a moment or two," Shatterstar said, relief shaking through him at Julio taking these things in stride but then- why had he been nervous? Julio had ways seemed to understand him. "But I don't think so. He's not interested in facing the world often. I... I would monopolize your time even so, though."
He glanced at Rictor carefully. "Maybe you were right when you said that forces made sure we came together."
"Yeah, to clean up your mess." Rictor nudged Shatterstar with his elbow, grinning widely. The tight bundle of anxiety in his chest was gently unraveling as he made sense of the situation. Sure, it was still completely crazy, but his internal meme was now Charlie connecting the Pepe Silvia lines, so he could follow the threads. "To go back to what you were saying, why were you—and Benjamin?—so angry? What about Haller not being your father?"
He had hoped Rictor would skate past that. It had been so good for the moment he had nudged him and smiled. Instead Shatterstar looked away again to find a diplomatic way to explain yet about her thing he didn't want to talk about.
But he trusted Rictor.
"We were... We had been worried about Haller, when he was sick. And didn't go about the worry well. Haller said we had no right to worry as he was not our father and would never be that for us." He frowned Rictor, looking at him again. "As if we wanted a father."
"Why would he even say that? Pinche . . . never mind. He's grown, he can't be acting like this to you." Rictor surveyed the site again, his gaze lingering on Shatterstar—the tall, proud, combative young man, looking so uncharacteristically cowed and embarrassed that Rictor felt his chest tighten again—before he forced his attention back to the actual job at hand. "We need to fill with both gravel and dirt so the holes stabilize and don't sink again."
Shatterstar bit back the full defense of Haller on his tongue- it included too many things that were not Rictor's business to know, too many intricacies. "I think he meant he couldn't be that. Even if he wanted." He straightened up at the change of conversation. "And get the snow out so we can," he agreed with Rictor before pausing. "Rictor, this made me think of something," he said, one hand going to his jacket pocket to fiddle with the package inside. "I got you a Christmas present. Do you want it?"
That pronouncement brightened Rictor's mood, though the chestal pressure remained. "Oh, yeah! I have something for you, too, but it's inside. It's not good to be outside in this weather."
Shatterstar produced a little bundle from his pocket, wrapped in the same paper Rictor had used for his birthday gift in September. "Here. It's for you," he said holding it out to the other boy.
While Rictor's first impulse was to tear through the wrapping, he remembered how meticulous Shatterstar was for his birthday, so he sheepishly slowed down after the first rip. Besides Sharon's smashed cookies, this was his first present from a friend. He'd cherish it, whatever it was . . .
"It's a jar of dirt? And chalk?" He carefully opened the jar and pressed a finger into the dirt. No, he corrected himself, it was soil. Maybe suitable for plant growth, but he'd have to examine it more closely to be sure.
"I do not know much about magic," Shatterstar started. "But google and the woman at the Botonica store were very helpful. She said the chalk would be good for your spells. And the dirt... is from someplace very special to me. There is an arboretum, like a plant research park, my aunt used to take me to so I stole dirt from there for you. I thought..." He trailed off. "I thought it could be of use for you. For your magic. Since it's already a piece of the Earth." He didn't tear his eyes away from Rictor, needing to see if he accepted the gift.
Rictor fumbled and nearly dropped the gift, but caught it and held it tight against his chest. "Star, that's . . . thank you." Google was right, a place important to Shatterstar held intense spiritual significance. Not that Rictor knew any rituals to use it for, but he would find something meaningful. "That's very thoughtful, bro."
Shatterstar ducked his head slightly, blush creeping over his cheeks. "I'm glad you like it," he said quietly. Then he straightened up and looked at all they had to do and nodded as if to push the emotion away.
Yeah, enough with the mushy stuff and the butterflies in his gut. There was work to do. Rictor set the gift aside, well out of the way so it would not be damaged. "Right. So, clear the holes then fill them. Ready?"
"Thank you for agreeing to help with... this," Shatterstar said, still stiff and blank-faced like he had been when he came to the mansion when he surveyed the wreckage around him and Julio. The ground had potholes and blasted areas- his doing- and one tree was severed - Haller's. Someone had gotten dirt shipped in to help fill in the holes. "You are a good..." He struggled at the word friend. Jack's words about only needing yourself run in his ears. "...companion to help clean up my mess."
Rictor whistled as he surveyed the damage to the grounds. It was impressive in a scary, daunting sort of way. "Ay. What happened here?" He did not have Arthur's gift to see the past, but when he knelt and touched the cold ground, he ached. There was trauma here. He stood back up and eyed Shatterstar. "Claro, I'm happy to help."
"Haller and I had an... argument," Shatterstar grimaced. "It got out of hand." He tugged his hair, giving away his reluctance to talk about it. It wasn't that he didn't want Rictor to know- it was he didn't want to be the one who had to explain why tempers flared so much. He knew it wasn't out of character of what Rictor knew of him- but it hadn't been him, exactly. "I'll follow your lead for what needs to be done here."
The job forgotten for a moment, Rictor, concern written all over his face stepped closer to Shatterstar. "Are you good, güey? What were you fighting about?" A short temper and minor acts of violence were characteristic of his friend; after all, that's how they first met. But this level of destruction was beyond that, and what little Rictor knew of Haller from rumors and whispers, he was not the kind of person who would provoke such an outburst.
"It came to ahead when Haller said he couldn't be our father," Shatterstar said in a small, embarassed voice as he realized he used the word 'our'. But, in for a penny, in for a pound. "We reacted badly. Then Haller reacted badly to that." He moved to start on the work so that he didn't have to face Rictor as he decided if he should explain more. "But it's what we get for worrying about Haller's almost dying," he added, almost as an aside.
"Uh, who is 'we'?" Rictor asked, frozen in place. There was something particularly unusual about how Shatterstar spoke, and Rictor did not like it.
Shatterstar froze for a moment, having almost hoped to just brush past that even though he had been opening himself up for it. "There's something I need to tell you," he said, unable to face Rictor. "Do you remember the night we talked about magic?"
"Yeah." It was literally a week ago. "I don't think Amanda is teaching me the wrong kind of magic, though. She's an expert, she knows what to teach. Why?"
"Not about that," he said, slightly annoyed. "I told about how I felt I was brought to this body right?" He said, starting to move snow with a shovel so they could get at the damage underneath. "It's... Because there was someone already here. It's why I never have you call me Ben. There already was a Benjamin Russell."
He had never explained this to someone he didn't already know would understand or who had a file on him in front of him. "So. We. Benjamin Russell and I."
Rictor felt like the meme of the lady with the math equations. He was sure a full, reasonable explanation was there, it just wasn't fully assembling in his head. "So, you . . . espera, I don't . . . Shatterstar isn't just a nickname, you are a different person?"
"I understand that this can be hard to understand," Shatterstar said, stealing a glance at Rictor. He didn't seem to be upset Shatter kept this from him... "Psis here and doctors elsewhere have confirmed it," he said, trying to make Rictor understand. "Different enough to be distinct from each other."
"Huh." Rictor supposed he should have been less credulous of this revelation, but in the scheme of things, he had certainly heard of weirder. And really, who was Rictor to posit that Shatterstar wasn't a visitor from afar, that the real Benjamin Russell wasn't a special person chosen for a higher purpose? Although he hated thinking the word "real," because Shatterstar was real. He was right here! "Have I ever met Benjamin? Or have you always been Shatterstar to me?"
"Maybe for a moment or two," Shatterstar said, relief shaking through him at Julio taking these things in stride but then- why had he been nervous? Julio had ways seemed to understand him. "But I don't think so. He's not interested in facing the world often. I... I would monopolize your time even so, though."
He glanced at Rictor carefully. "Maybe you were right when you said that forces made sure we came together."
"Yeah, to clean up your mess." Rictor nudged Shatterstar with his elbow, grinning widely. The tight bundle of anxiety in his chest was gently unraveling as he made sense of the situation. Sure, it was still completely crazy, but his internal meme was now Charlie connecting the Pepe Silvia lines, so he could follow the threads. "To go back to what you were saying, why were you—and Benjamin?—so angry? What about Haller not being your father?"
He had hoped Rictor would skate past that. It had been so good for the moment he had nudged him and smiled. Instead Shatterstar looked away again to find a diplomatic way to explain yet about her thing he didn't want to talk about.
But he trusted Rictor.
"We were... We had been worried about Haller, when he was sick. And didn't go about the worry well. Haller said we had no right to worry as he was not our father and would never be that for us." He frowned Rictor, looking at him again. "As if we wanted a father."
"Why would he even say that? Pinche . . . never mind. He's grown, he can't be acting like this to you." Rictor surveyed the site again, his gaze lingering on Shatterstar—the tall, proud, combative young man, looking so uncharacteristically cowed and embarrassed that Rictor felt his chest tighten again—before he forced his attention back to the actual job at hand. "We need to fill with both gravel and dirt so the holes stabilize and don't sink again."
Shatterstar bit back the full defense of Haller on his tongue- it included too many things that were not Rictor's business to know, too many intricacies. "I think he meant he couldn't be that. Even if he wanted." He straightened up at the change of conversation. "And get the snow out so we can," he agreed with Rictor before pausing. "Rictor, this made me think of something," he said, one hand going to his jacket pocket to fiddle with the package inside. "I got you a Christmas present. Do you want it?"
That pronouncement brightened Rictor's mood, though the chestal pressure remained. "Oh, yeah! I have something for you, too, but it's inside. It's not good to be outside in this weather."
Shatterstar produced a little bundle from his pocket, wrapped in the same paper Rictor had used for his birthday gift in September. "Here. It's for you," he said holding it out to the other boy.
While Rictor's first impulse was to tear through the wrapping, he remembered how meticulous Shatterstar was for his birthday, so he sheepishly slowed down after the first rip. Besides Sharon's smashed cookies, this was his first present from a friend. He'd cherish it, whatever it was . . .
"It's a jar of dirt? And chalk?" He carefully opened the jar and pressed a finger into the dirt. No, he corrected himself, it was soil. Maybe suitable for plant growth, but he'd have to examine it more closely to be sure.
"I do not know much about magic," Shatterstar started. "But google and the woman at the Botonica store were very helpful. She said the chalk would be good for your spells. And the dirt... is from someplace very special to me. There is an arboretum, like a plant research park, my aunt used to take me to so I stole dirt from there for you. I thought..." He trailed off. "I thought it could be of use for you. For your magic. Since it's already a piece of the Earth." He didn't tear his eyes away from Rictor, needing to see if he accepted the gift.
Rictor fumbled and nearly dropped the gift, but caught it and held it tight against his chest. "Star, that's . . . thank you." Google was right, a place important to Shatterstar held intense spiritual significance. Not that Rictor knew any rituals to use it for, but he would find something meaningful. "That's very thoughtful, bro."
Shatterstar ducked his head slightly, blush creeping over his cheeks. "I'm glad you like it," he said quietly. Then he straightened up and looked at all they had to do and nodded as if to push the emotion away.
Yeah, enough with the mushy stuff and the butterflies in his gut. There was work to do. Rictor set the gift aside, well out of the way so it would not be damaged. "Right. So, clear the holes then fill them. Ready?"
no subject
Date: 2024-01-04 11:23 pm (UTC)"That's very thoughtful, bro."
Clint, an expert: Incorrect usage of 'bro' there, bro. Pretty sure you meant 'light of my life, sun in my sky, moon amongst my stars, etc etc.'
Which I guess means we ship it hard. :P This log was perfectly adorable. <3
no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 12:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 01:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 02:00 am (UTC)