xp_logs | Nathan, Domino, Bridge and Theo

Before they head out to the airport, Domino, Bridge and Theo come to say goodbye to Nathan. They talk about the risks he's taking and how dramatically he's changed, but Nathan holds to his chosen course. But that doesn't change certain truths, and the other three head to the airport on a good note.

Real bed. Real sunlight. Opening his eyes, Nathan blinked in the direction of the windows, unable to help a slight smile at the sight of blue sky and fluffy white clouds. He shifted on the bed, biting back a groan of pain, and glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It read three pm, and Nathan's eyes widened a little. He'd slept that long?

"Shit," he muttered to himself, still surprised, and raised his good hand to rub his eyes. The pill bottle and a glass of water were sitting next to the clock, along with a little note in Moira's handwriting saying 'As soon as you wake up!' Well, far be it from him to argue, he thought wearily, amused when he discovered that the lid was just sitting on the bottle. She thought of everything. Managing to get two out without overturning the bottle, he chased them with a sip of water and then relaxed back against the pillows, closing his eyes.

There was a quiet knock at the door, which opened before he could respond, and Nathan blinked as Domino, followed by G.W. and Theo, came in. "Hey," he said, his voice a bit hoarse.

"Hey, you." Domino came over and perched on the side of the bed, careful not to jostle him. "Didn't think you were going to wake up before we went."

"Went...?" Nathan asked, bewildered for a moment until he remembered that three pm meant three pm on Saturday, and G.W. had told him yesterday that they were catching three separate flights tonight. Leaving, he thought with a pang. "Shit," he said again, managing a half-hearted smile. "Didn't intend to sleep that long..."

"Not to worry," G.W. said with a chuckle, shifting his arm in its sling. "Just as glad to see you resting."

"Helps to be out of the medlab, I bet," Theo put in wisely.

They all knew him too well. "Yeah, that's for sure..." Nathan looked back at Domino, noticing the curiously intent way she was regarding him, as if she were debating something within the confines of her own head. "What?" he asked a bit warily. She smiled slightly, cryptically, but didn't answer.

"Talked to David on Muir this afternoon," G.W. said, deftly stepping in to fill the conversational gap. "He and the others are going to meet us back in Berlin tomorrow. Muir's got a brand-new security system, and he figures that if there was going to be more trouble it would have happened by now."

"Okay," Nathan said, reaching for the water glass. Domino got there before he did, passing it to him. "Going to see if I can't talk Moira into getting Rory a bodyguard," he said after taking another sip. "She couldn't be much safer, here, but I worry about him..."

Domino snorted. "Good of you," she said dryly.

"It'll all get sorted out," Theo said, as if trying to be reassuring. "You shouldn't worry."

Now they were all looking at him like that. "What?" he asked more crossly. "Is my hair... sticking up or something?"

"Well, yes," Domino quipped, reaching out to smooth it down. He would have batted at her hand, but he was still holding the water glass.

"We're just not real crazy about the idea of leaving you here," G.W. said, that deadly serious look in his eyes. Nathan opened his mouth to say... something, he wasn't sure what, but G.W. shook his head and went on. "It's not that we don't like this place, or the people - they've been incredibly hospitable, and they sure seem to like you and Moira - but I still wonder if you and she wouldn't be better off following us to Berlin in a few days. Once you're getting around better."

"She wouldn't do that," Nathan said flatly, wondering why the hell this was an issue. "And even if she would, I wouldn't ask her to." Domino pressed her lips together, looking irritated, and Nathan frowned. "And then there's the fact that I don't want to leave. I've got plans, guys..." And he wasn't about to leave the best place he could be to fight the fight that needed fighting. The Askani were positive that the best opportunity lay here, and he owed it to them, to the future in general, and to himself to make the most of it.

"Apart from the fact that you can't seem to stay out of trouble and need someone to watch your back, Mistra's on to you," Domino said darkly. "You really want to stay here, chance them trying to get at you through Moira? Or one of the kids?"

Nathan opened his mouth to reply to that, but Askani was murmuring to him, making suggestions. "I can't... let minimizing risks be the most important thing to me anymore. I can't. There's more... on my mind now..." He trailed off, smiling tightly. "Bad pun. Sorry."

G.W. went over and sat down in the armchair by the window, sighing heavily. "We never got the chance to talk more about... what's on your mind," he said, his lips tugging upwards in a helpless smile as he reused the pun. "Sort of got distracted. That really why you're staying here?"

"It's... the best place to be," Nathan said, not sure how to explain it to them. He had told them as much as he could about the Askani, promising copies of their history as soon as he started to write it down, but at least history was people and places and events. Trying to justify his involvement in a clash of ideologies whose interactions and implications he still didn't entirely understand was another matter entirely.

"I think it's cool," Theo said, and then shrugged when the other two looked at him. "Well, kind of creepy. But still cool."

"Young Manuel doesn't think it's cool," Domino pointed out. Nathan frowned at her and she smiled thinly. "What? Just making an observation. He seems pretty set on it, though - I might watch my back, Nate, were I you."

Nathan shifted, gritting his teeth as his leg and shoulder protested. "Minority opinion," he growled. "And I'll deal with Manuel... in good time." Askani gave an approving hum, and he fought the urge to tell her to shut up. He had agreed to do what she had suggested, regarding Manuel; there was no need for her to gloat. "There's nothing to be worried about," he insisted stubbornly. "I've just..."

"Found a Cause," G.W. said, more than a little sardonically. "We noticed. One of the reasons we're worried."

Nathan sighed heavily. "Damn it," he said helplessly, "I've fought for money for seven years. For fourteen years before that, I fought for someone else's ideas of what was in the national interest." He looked at them almost pleadingly, willing them to understand. "Is it so wrong to have a reason? We've always been choosy about the jobs we did, to make sure we were better than hired thugs... this is just taking that a few steps farther."

"That," G.W. said, "is an understatement."

"There's nothing wrong with a little idealism," Nathan countered. "Especially when you've seen the end results of the wrong ideology winning." The words were a little more forceful than he'd intended them to be, and had the effect of silencing the room completely. Nathan winced, trying somewhat desperately to figure out what to say, so that he didn't leave things with them on a note like that. "I really haven't lost my mind," he said with a sigh, taking another sip of his water. "I just... believe this is something I have to do now. I'm tired of..." He broke off, but they were all looking at him expectantly, and he flushed, but forced himself to go on. "I'm tired of there not being...more in life," he said more softly.

No one reacted for a long, long moment. "Gotta hand it to you," Domino finally murmured. "As mid-life crises go, this one's a doozy."

Nathan glowered rather feebly at her. "Bite your tongue."

"We're not trying to minimize what you've been through," G.W. said, sounding tired. Nathan met his eyes, seeing the troubled concern there, the doubt. "But you've got to admit, Nate, it's a hell of a change."

Nathan met his eyes as levelly as he could. "Yeah," he said simply. "It is."

Domino grumbled something and shifted forward, close enough that she could lean down and press her lips to his forehead, just briefly. "You get yourself killed trying to be one of the good guys and I'm going to bring you back to life just to kick your ass," she said warningly as she straightened up.

He managed a smile for her, then turned his attention back to G.W. "I'm just... a phone call away, you know," he said awkwardly. "Whenever you need me. Or when you don't."

G.W. rubbed the bridge of his nose for a moment that dragged on for long enough that Nathan started to get worried. Then he abruptly got up and came over to the bed, reaching out with his good hand to clasp Nathan's. "Likewise, partner," he said, his voice rough with emotion. "Not like this changes things all that much."

"No," Nathan said steadily. "It doesn't."

Theo, still over by the door, sniffed suddenly. Loudly. "I feel the need for a group hug," he pronounced, then grinned mischievously when everyone flinched. "Just kidding."

"Good," Domino quipped. "I like my ribs intact, thank you very much."

Nathan grinned, relaxing as the mood in the room changed to something more cheerful. The four of them talked about the Pack's immediate job prospects, Nathan's teaching plans and possibly hooking up again in Europe sometime this summer, until the pills he'd taken started to work in earnest and he felt himself drifting off again.

There were no goodbyes said, of course. This wasn't really a parting, and all four of them knew it. As he toppled over the edge into real sleep, Nathan thought he felt Domino lean over and kiss him again, but the next time he woke up, he couldn't decide whether or not he had just imagined it.