Sooraya & April | Meditation Guidance

[xp_mayhem]

Sooraya introduces April to guided meditation, and offers some helpful advice on focus areas.


"And now, let your attention expand out to include the entire body as a whole. Bring into your awareness the top of your head down to the bottom of your toes. Feel the gentle rhythm of the breath as it moves through the body.

As you come to the end of this practice, take a full, deep breath. Exhale fully. And when you are ready, open your eyes and return your attention to the present moment."

Sooraya quietly reached over and shut down the speaker, the soft hum dying away as she waited for April to refocus on the here and now.

Tendrils unfurled along April's hair as she slowly opened her eyes and focused on Sooraya. "I liked that. I don't do a lot of mindfulness meditation, but maybe I should start."

"Gotta admit that besides helpful, it can also be pretty relaxing." Sooraya agreed as she rose from her seat and offered April a hand to get up. "Let sit down for a bit, because I 've a few more other questions. Like what other things did you notice while you were doing the exercise?"

"Well, my mind was a little bit quieter," April said with a laugh. "I could kinda... feel the part of me I associate with my Alter? That's what I've been calling my full form, because that Kevin guy made a good point about calling myself a monster even if he couldn't help me with the actual shifting or anything. Alter's not one hundred percent right either, since it's not a separate personality, more just... simplified, maybe. I think I felt my forms shifting a little during the exercises, because I wasn't bothering to focus on keeping myself in human form."

"That sounds like a good start." Sooraya returned the laugh with a grin. "Now, you mentioned you could kinda feel your Alter, but what about your own body? Were you able to get a good sense of that as well?"

"I think so? I didn't realize how much my subconscious focuses on keeping my form mostly human." She shrugged, tugging on one of the tendrils by her ear. "Everything feels... mutable, I guess? Like looking at a fun mirror and wondering how much of me looks exactly like May because it should, and how much is because that's what I always "knew" I should look like."

Sooraya sat back a little, intrigued. This was quite different from her own experiences with the exercise. "What do you think would happen if your subconscious let that focus go? Were you able to get a sense of that?"

"I think I'd probably look more like I did when I first arrived? Not immediately after, but the issues I was having with my tendrils coming out and being more reactive to my emotions, maybe? Partial shifting in stressful situations? I think we'd have to test it to be sure. A controlled environment and something to minimize inhibitions and emotional control." April tugged on a tendril like it was a particularly thick strand of hair, trying to think it through. "I'm not sure how we would do that though."

"So something to keep in the back of our minds for now. Who knows what will pop up." Sooraya suggested. "From what you're describing though... does it feel like there is a separation between you and your Alter? Or is it all one?"

"Not a full separation. No fully distinct personality, but my opinions are a little more black and white. People are mostly friend, not friend, or stranger. Items are food or not food. Dangers are either high threat attack or run, or low threat attack or watch. It's still me, just more focused on the here and now than on long-term thoughts and plans or anything very complex."

Narrowing her eyes a little, Sooraya asked: "You mean like when your alter is more dominant?"

"Yeah, like when I was stuck? I was trying to get unstuck, but the first couple of days aside from the frustration were simple worries. Food, safety, is Boris okay, watching over Haller like some sort of under the bed nightmare because he couldn't protect himself. I could think about other things and did, but my prevalent focus was more the immediate concerns. Notifying work was... I don't know, I thought about it, couldn't communicate it, and dismissed it. Once Artie got me access to the proloquo and basic language boards I was able to express some of my more complex thoughts, but the focus was still more on the immediate. Too much energy, boredom, food fatigue."

"It's really very different..." Sooraya shook her head. "April, when I adapted these exercises... they were for something specific I struggled with. And with your powers being so different, I think we should be careful... move slowly. I think it might not be a bad idea for you to spend a little time with this one. Do it once a day maybe and keep a little journal of what you notice as you do the body scan. Both with you and your alter."

April nodded slowly, chewing on her bottom lip. "That makes sense. I don't want to get stuck into something I can't undo, or do something weird to my brain because I pushed too much, too fast?"

"That's one thing, yeah." Sooraya added her own nod in agreement. "But even without that, getting to know how you and your alter feel in quiet circumstances makes a lot of sense. For me it really helped to create a kind of baseline I can return to when I need to. And no matter how different things may be with you and your alter, a baseline to return to is something I've come across a lot as I work on my powers manual."

"Yeah, I get that. I've had a lot of time with that in my head recently, but specifically meditating while I'm in that form isn't something I'd considered. Making sure I've got that baseline and can tell when my emotions or shift are being affected is a really good idea. And if I have trouble with sit-still meditation, that's something I'll know and can adapt. Maybe swimming laps. I normally find it a bit boring, but maybe the repetition of it could help with that quiet mindset if I'm otherwise having trouble being still and focused."

"Good luck with it." Sooraya leaned over, pulling a small notebook. "Mind if I take a few quick notes before I head out? I wanna get it down while it's all still fresh." And maybe note down a very preliminary idea for the next step or two."

"If you don't write it down it's not science, it's screwing around," April replied with a grin. "Go ahead, I don't mind."

"Haha, thanks." Sooraya quickly wrote down her notes and tucked her notebook away, before rising and gathering her speaker. "I'll send you the sound files of the meditation. Did you like this narrator? Because I have a few different ones if you prefer a woman's voice or something."

"No. No, he's soothing. It's nice. The sort of thing I can see myself listening to before bed I think." She stretched in place for a moment before standing and joining Sooraya on the way to the door. "Thanks for introducing me to this, I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome." Sooraya paused for a moment before adding: "Let me know if you discover more interesting things?"

Comments

[xp_icarus]

I thought this was really cool! I like how you describe April's not fully split state from her alter/other

[xp_catseye]

It's always great to see X-Men interacting outside of missions, and Sooraya's suggestion that meditation will also help establish a solid physical baseline which April can return to is an interesting point- especially for someone as scientifically minded as April.