Jay & Mel | Family Tradition
Feb. 23rd, 2024 03:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsJay and Melody finally have a chat- or try to anyways.
Jay hadn't really noticed Melody avoiding him the first few days. He understood that she'd wanted some time alone and then things happened with work, and she was spending time with Paige so he didn't think anything of it. By the first week he was noticing it, but willing to let it be- he knew he hated to be rushed into things emotionally and Mel was like him in that way. It was the end of the second week that he just went to her and Paige's suite because there was no pretending that she wasn't actively avoiding him now, or avoiding Sam for that matter.
"So how long we doin' this for?"
“I have no idea what yer talkin’ bout Jay.” But even as she said that, Mel’s eyes darted towards the window like she might be able to fly out of it and avoid this conversation.
"You ain't never been a good liar, Miss Melody Grace," Jay said, crossing his arms over his chest and acting like Mel was one of the younger kids or like he was Sam.
Mel picked at a hangnail, refusing to meet his eyes. “What d’you want me to say? I fucked up an’ now I’m here. Yer busy, Sam’s busy. I’m jus’ stayin’ out of the way.”
He wasn't quite sure what to say to that. If Melody fucked up, then what had he done? He was the one who had set this ball rolling in the first place. "I like you in the way."
Blood welled up from her cuticle as she scraped at it. He just didn’t get it.
Jay let out a breath and moved to take Mel under his arm in a hug to show her he liked having her around, that she was still his kid sister. To show that he had been worried about her.
Mel pushed him off. “I ain’t a kid and you ain’t daddy. Quit actin’ like it.”
Jay knew he wasn't daddy, or even Sam. He knew that. She didn't have to rub it in. "The hell you aren't a kid! You're just 20, that's hardly grown."
“I'm 21 in April! And yer barely two years older! What does that make you?” This was what Mel had wanted to avoid. God, she hated fighting with Jay.
"That's different!" Jay insisted, even if he was hard pressed to explain how it was. "I shoulda been there, it’s what me being older means! It's my fault you were in that situation." And it was- if Jay had just been able to hold onto his grief for even just half an hour longer then everything would be different and he and Mel would still be at home and they'd be a team again.
Tears were starting to well up in Mel’s eyes. She never used to cry so much before all of this. “Oh my God, stop bein’ such a martyr! You didn’t have to be nowhere! You an’ Sam took care of everyone for years and I couldn’t even pull it together for a month. It’s my fault!”
Jay pulled Mel to him when she started crying. "You shouldn't hafta take care of everyone, and me an' Sam didn't have people shooting at us," he pointed out, holding Mel like she was younger than she was.
“They were only shooting cause I fucked it all up!” Mel ripped herself out of his arms, nearly shaking with anger and emotion. She didn’t deserve to be fussed over like that. “An’ stop babying me! I’m older than you was when you took over for Sam! How many years did you hide yer wings? And I can’t even for a fight? I’m a fuckin’ fuckup Jay."
"I won't be having with you saying that about yourself!" Jay yelled back. "You are not a fuckup!"
“Oh please!” Mel scoffed. “Everyone back home thinks so. I’m a no good slut who can’t hold down a boyfriend or a job! An’ now I can’t even mind the kids right. Jeb hates me, Elle won’t talk to me, the twins won’t listen to me, and I’ve run off an’ left Lizzie to deal with ‘em! She should be focusing on school, not babyminding! Pert near certain that’s the definition of a fuckup.”
"First off, Jeb's fourteen, he hates per near everyone right now," Jay said, hands on his hips. "Second, they're old enough to not be trouble for Liz and Mama. And most importantly, everyone back home don't know nothing! You aren't a fuckup!" What Jay didn’t say was that he was the one who had fucked up.
“You don’t get it! Why can’t I handle things for a month on my own! You’ve done so much for everyone an’ I shoulda been able to do the same!” Mel yelled, voice cracking. She hated this. She wanted to be home helping plan a wedding, not here, arguing with her best friend.
"You shouldn't'a had to!" Jay yelled back. He should have been home so Mel didn't have to take on the responsibility, so that she could have discovered her powers in a safe way, so that maybe she wouldn't have been shot at. "They tried t' kill you, Mel! You shouldn't'a had to deal with that!" And it was all his fault.
“They tried the same on you!” He shouldn’t have had to deal with that. Jay didn’t deserve any of it, Mel did. For once in her life she should’ve looked before she leaped into some shit she couldn’t handle. “I shoulda taken on more before so I was ready! It was my turn Jay!” She’d had one job.
Mel had taken on plenty before- everytime Jay had had a bout, Mel had been the one to pick up the slack. Why couldn't she see that he didn't want that for her, that he had never planned on leaving so that it never would have to be her responsibility for more than a few days at a time. Even when he left for Louisville it wouldn't have been on her, not really, not with him and Julia taking the twins. "It should have never been your turn!" He said sharply, turning away from her with his arms tight over his stomach, not able to look at her.
Jay reminded Mel so much of Mama in that moment she could have screamed. He shouldn’t have to take care of her now, he’d always sacrificed for everyone. Dropping out of school, working in the mines, taking care of the babies. After everything Jay deserved some time without having to fuss over anyone, but it seemed that Mel was so fucking selfish she couldn’t even manage that. “It never should have been yours either, not on your own.” She couldn’t do this anymore. Storming over to her room, she slammed the door shut behind her.
But of course the first thing she had to see was the dresses Jay had bought for her hanging in the closet. She slammed the closet door too and slid down against it, properly sobbing now. Why did she have to go and mess everything up, even with Jay.
"Mel!" Jay started after her but paused at her slammed door and decided to leave her alone. He'd have wanted to be left alone and they were so similar... He'd ruined things for his kid sister, again.
Jay hadn't really noticed Melody avoiding him the first few days. He understood that she'd wanted some time alone and then things happened with work, and she was spending time with Paige so he didn't think anything of it. By the first week he was noticing it, but willing to let it be- he knew he hated to be rushed into things emotionally and Mel was like him in that way. It was the end of the second week that he just went to her and Paige's suite because there was no pretending that she wasn't actively avoiding him now, or avoiding Sam for that matter.
"So how long we doin' this for?"
“I have no idea what yer talkin’ bout Jay.” But even as she said that, Mel’s eyes darted towards the window like she might be able to fly out of it and avoid this conversation.
"You ain't never been a good liar, Miss Melody Grace," Jay said, crossing his arms over his chest and acting like Mel was one of the younger kids or like he was Sam.
Mel picked at a hangnail, refusing to meet his eyes. “What d’you want me to say? I fucked up an’ now I’m here. Yer busy, Sam’s busy. I’m jus’ stayin’ out of the way.”
He wasn't quite sure what to say to that. If Melody fucked up, then what had he done? He was the one who had set this ball rolling in the first place. "I like you in the way."
Blood welled up from her cuticle as she scraped at it. He just didn’t get it.
Jay let out a breath and moved to take Mel under his arm in a hug to show her he liked having her around, that she was still his kid sister. To show that he had been worried about her.
Mel pushed him off. “I ain’t a kid and you ain’t daddy. Quit actin’ like it.”
Jay knew he wasn't daddy, or even Sam. He knew that. She didn't have to rub it in. "The hell you aren't a kid! You're just 20, that's hardly grown."
“I'm 21 in April! And yer barely two years older! What does that make you?” This was what Mel had wanted to avoid. God, she hated fighting with Jay.
"That's different!" Jay insisted, even if he was hard pressed to explain how it was. "I shoulda been there, it’s what me being older means! It's my fault you were in that situation." And it was- if Jay had just been able to hold onto his grief for even just half an hour longer then everything would be different and he and Mel would still be at home and they'd be a team again.
Tears were starting to well up in Mel’s eyes. She never used to cry so much before all of this. “Oh my God, stop bein’ such a martyr! You didn’t have to be nowhere! You an’ Sam took care of everyone for years and I couldn’t even pull it together for a month. It’s my fault!”
Jay pulled Mel to him when she started crying. "You shouldn't hafta take care of everyone, and me an' Sam didn't have people shooting at us," he pointed out, holding Mel like she was younger than she was.
“They were only shooting cause I fucked it all up!” Mel ripped herself out of his arms, nearly shaking with anger and emotion. She didn’t deserve to be fussed over like that. “An’ stop babying me! I’m older than you was when you took over for Sam! How many years did you hide yer wings? And I can’t even for a fight? I’m a fuckin’ fuckup Jay."
"I won't be having with you saying that about yourself!" Jay yelled back. "You are not a fuckup!"
“Oh please!” Mel scoffed. “Everyone back home thinks so. I’m a no good slut who can’t hold down a boyfriend or a job! An’ now I can’t even mind the kids right. Jeb hates me, Elle won’t talk to me, the twins won’t listen to me, and I’ve run off an’ left Lizzie to deal with ‘em! She should be focusing on school, not babyminding! Pert near certain that’s the definition of a fuckup.”
"First off, Jeb's fourteen, he hates per near everyone right now," Jay said, hands on his hips. "Second, they're old enough to not be trouble for Liz and Mama. And most importantly, everyone back home don't know nothing! You aren't a fuckup!" What Jay didn’t say was that he was the one who had fucked up.
“You don’t get it! Why can’t I handle things for a month on my own! You’ve done so much for everyone an’ I shoulda been able to do the same!” Mel yelled, voice cracking. She hated this. She wanted to be home helping plan a wedding, not here, arguing with her best friend.
"You shouldn't'a had to!" Jay yelled back. He should have been home so Mel didn't have to take on the responsibility, so that she could have discovered her powers in a safe way, so that maybe she wouldn't have been shot at. "They tried t' kill you, Mel! You shouldn't'a had to deal with that!" And it was all his fault.
“They tried the same on you!” He shouldn’t have had to deal with that. Jay didn’t deserve any of it, Mel did. For once in her life she should’ve looked before she leaped into some shit she couldn’t handle. “I shoulda taken on more before so I was ready! It was my turn Jay!” She’d had one job.
Mel had taken on plenty before- everytime Jay had had a bout, Mel had been the one to pick up the slack. Why couldn't she see that he didn't want that for her, that he had never planned on leaving so that it never would have to be her responsibility for more than a few days at a time. Even when he left for Louisville it wouldn't have been on her, not really, not with him and Julia taking the twins. "It should have never been your turn!" He said sharply, turning away from her with his arms tight over his stomach, not able to look at her.
Jay reminded Mel so much of Mama in that moment she could have screamed. He shouldn’t have to take care of her now, he’d always sacrificed for everyone. Dropping out of school, working in the mines, taking care of the babies. After everything Jay deserved some time without having to fuss over anyone, but it seemed that Mel was so fucking selfish she couldn’t even manage that. “It never should have been yours either, not on your own.” She couldn’t do this anymore. Storming over to her room, she slammed the door shut behind her.
But of course the first thing she had to see was the dresses Jay had bought for her hanging in the closet. She slammed the closet door too and slid down against it, properly sobbing now. Why did she have to go and mess everything up, even with Jay.
"Mel!" Jay started after her but paused at her slammed door and decided to leave her alone. He'd have wanted to be left alone and they were so similar... He'd ruined things for his kid sister, again.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-24 12:57 am (UTC)this hurt me
the Guthries can be siblings that are SOOOOOO fucked up
no subject
Date: 2024-02-25 04:13 am (UTC)(Right, Jay. That's Sam.)
"It should have never been your turn!"
This is really the house motto for the entire Guthrie clan, from Sam on down. Ever since he had to step in for their father the trauma and responsibilities have hit each successive child like falling dominos at an ever-accelerating rate, which I'm sure is causing Sam (and now all the older siblings) even more stress.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-26 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-28 05:16 am (UTC)I adore A+ power imagery always, but this is kind of poetic.
The fight here is very well balanced on each side, and there's clearly no winner in the siblings trying to manage their expectations and feelings of responsibility.
You shouldn't'a had to deal with that!" And it was all his fault.
Oh, Jay. No.