Sam and Warren | Pickled Vegetables
Mar. 6th, 2024 06:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsWarren finds Sam in the kitchen Neither of them are impressed by the other
Sam had finally caved and bought himself a canning apparatus. If he was gonna make pickled vegetables he’d need to seal the jars somehow, and on God Sam was making pickled vegetables.
He had a whole operation set up in the main kitchen, the kitchenette in his suite being ill-equipped to handle the sheer volume of food about to be brined. Belatedly he realized that this was entirely too much to give to Mel as a present, but he was making her favorites so he’d at least give her two jars of each kind. Anything to cheer up his baby sister.
Why was Warren feeling so antsy? No actual reason, but it was enough to have him wandering around, seeing who was around, and when he found none of his friends, he sighed. He could drive into the city, or maybe it was better to stay at the mansion for the night. It was an oddly indecisive kind of day for him. As it was, he decided it'd been a while since he'd baked for everyone, so he headed to the kitchen and froze when he saw Sam was already doing ...something. He COULD leave ...or he could stay and get to know him better, if only because he was still curious as to what kind of control he had over Mel.
"Why does it smell so offensive in here?" Warren wrinkled his nose. "If we are out of bleach and resorting to vinegar to clean, I can buy more cleaning supplies."
"Makin' pickled vegetables." Sam said, forcing himself to be pleasant to Warren. Mamaw always said that it was best not to can things in a bad mood lest you wanted the anger to fester up inside the jars and cause botulism. What this most likely complete bullshit? Yes. Would Sam follow her advice to the ends of the earth? Also yes. "They're a present for my sister."
"Which one? The pretty one or the cranky one? Because if it's for the cranky one, you might want to make her chocolate instead. That'd make her happier." Warren already had forgotten that ones' name, and he wasn't about to admit that he knew Mel's name ...intimately. He'd called it out a few times the night before.
"I'll have you know that all of my sisters are beautiful, thank you very much." Sam said a bit tensely. "But they're for Melody. She's been a mite homesick and these are some of her favorite things to snack on from back home so I thought I'd surprise her with some, see if that won't cheer her up a bit."
Homesick for what, he wondered. It was clear New York was a much better place for her, but Warren wasn't going to say any of that. "I'm assuming then that you didn't have access to a grocery store if you have to pickle vegetables." He came a bit closer and looked around at what there was. "Do you use moonshine or actual vinegar?"
Sam actually whirled around to look at him at that. “Do I look like I’m cannin’ fruit? Shine? For vegetables? Honestly what kinda fool do you think I am? She ain’t gettin’ fruit in shine till her birthday anyhow. Got our cousin to distill some special for her.”
He shook his head. “We went to the dollar general for what we couldn’t preserve ourselves. An actual grocery store was far outside our price range for the amount of mouths I needed to feed and the amount of gas it took to get there…I’ll smell like vinegar for a day or two but it’ll make Mellie happy that’s really all that matters.”
Warren went to the fridge, sighed, and pulled out a bag of baby carrots that he munched on loudly. "Well, at least your girlfriend will know you're sanitized," Warren finally said back. "Just don't stick your finger in anything fun -- you'll kill delicate flora."
Sam frowned. "Girlfriend? I'm dating a man? Not that I haven't dated women, but where did you get the idea that I'm seein' one now? My boyfriend lives here?"
A boyfriend? Warren paused mid-chew. "Oh, that's Jay who had a woman. I mix you two up all the time. I don't even know who I'm paying when cheque time comes around." And then, because he was curious, he added: "Who is your boyfriend? Are they equally as dull?"
"Clint keeps me on my damn toes, that's for sure." Sam muttered fondly, a small smile on his face. The smile quickly went away as Sam processed that Warren couldn't tell him and Jay apart. "Jay and I don't even hardly look alike, the hell you mean you cain't tell us apart?"
Clint? Warren choked and dropped his bag of carrots. Reaching in the fridge for a bottle of water, he took several thick swallows before clearing his throat. "Forget the Guthrie look alike problem -- Clint?! Like ... old balls Clint? Listen. Sam. You don't like me and I have zero opinions on you but there's something to be said about growing old with someone rather than just looking up one day to see the gravity toll on a scrotum."
"I'm...going to choose to forget you ever said that." Sam said carefully, face scrunched up unpleasantly. "And not that it's any of yer business, but I actually like him as a person, ain't nobody's looks lastin' forever cept Dolly's. I'd rather someone steady who's kind to me and cares about my family- who understands that I raised a whole load of kids cause Mama wouldn't over choosin' someone for if they're gonna 'age gracefully' with me."
"Far be it from me for standing in the way of true love but if you want him to look his actual age -- which is younger than me by 5 years -- you'd do well to introduce him to a solid skin care regime. The man could use a moisturizer." He finished his water bottle and wiped his mouth. "Once upon a time, we used to hang out a lot, Clint and I. Shenanigans were had, and questionable motels were used. Also pancakes. Pancakes were involved. Make him pancakes I guess is what I'm trying to say. Pancakes filled with vitamins. You don't want him to die mid-sex. That's my dream, not his."
"He actually makes me breakfast." Sam said with a pointedly raised eyebrow. "And I ain't got a skin care regimen. I don't even own sunscreen......but he will eat pretty much anything I put in front of him so he's gonna end up with at least a few jars of vegetables when I'm done."
"And you're bragging about not owning sunscreen?" Warren was horrified. What was wrong with youth these days... "Well. This hasn't been pleasant and I'm glad the conversation is going to end now because I've decided it will. Please enjoy many years of happiness blending Clint's food when he is too old to eat it. Also, please note that I love drama so if you need to vent or complain about him, my door is always open."
"I will be doin' no such thing. Fuck off, thanks." Sam said, shaking his head as if that would make Warren disappear faster. He really needed to find something that Warren was allergic to and keep it on him at all times, like garlic and vampires. It would be good for his mental health, maybe he could even get his therapist to approve the plan.
Sam had finally caved and bought himself a canning apparatus. If he was gonna make pickled vegetables he’d need to seal the jars somehow, and on God Sam was making pickled vegetables.
He had a whole operation set up in the main kitchen, the kitchenette in his suite being ill-equipped to handle the sheer volume of food about to be brined. Belatedly he realized that this was entirely too much to give to Mel as a present, but he was making her favorites so he’d at least give her two jars of each kind. Anything to cheer up his baby sister.
Why was Warren feeling so antsy? No actual reason, but it was enough to have him wandering around, seeing who was around, and when he found none of his friends, he sighed. He could drive into the city, or maybe it was better to stay at the mansion for the night. It was an oddly indecisive kind of day for him. As it was, he decided it'd been a while since he'd baked for everyone, so he headed to the kitchen and froze when he saw Sam was already doing ...something. He COULD leave ...or he could stay and get to know him better, if only because he was still curious as to what kind of control he had over Mel.
"Why does it smell so offensive in here?" Warren wrinkled his nose. "If we are out of bleach and resorting to vinegar to clean, I can buy more cleaning supplies."
"Makin' pickled vegetables." Sam said, forcing himself to be pleasant to Warren. Mamaw always said that it was best not to can things in a bad mood lest you wanted the anger to fester up inside the jars and cause botulism. What this most likely complete bullshit? Yes. Would Sam follow her advice to the ends of the earth? Also yes. "They're a present for my sister."
"Which one? The pretty one or the cranky one? Because if it's for the cranky one, you might want to make her chocolate instead. That'd make her happier." Warren already had forgotten that ones' name, and he wasn't about to admit that he knew Mel's name ...intimately. He'd called it out a few times the night before.
"I'll have you know that all of my sisters are beautiful, thank you very much." Sam said a bit tensely. "But they're for Melody. She's been a mite homesick and these are some of her favorite things to snack on from back home so I thought I'd surprise her with some, see if that won't cheer her up a bit."
Homesick for what, he wondered. It was clear New York was a much better place for her, but Warren wasn't going to say any of that. "I'm assuming then that you didn't have access to a grocery store if you have to pickle vegetables." He came a bit closer and looked around at what there was. "Do you use moonshine or actual vinegar?"
Sam actually whirled around to look at him at that. “Do I look like I’m cannin’ fruit? Shine? For vegetables? Honestly what kinda fool do you think I am? She ain’t gettin’ fruit in shine till her birthday anyhow. Got our cousin to distill some special for her.”
He shook his head. “We went to the dollar general for what we couldn’t preserve ourselves. An actual grocery store was far outside our price range for the amount of mouths I needed to feed and the amount of gas it took to get there…I’ll smell like vinegar for a day or two but it’ll make Mellie happy that’s really all that matters.”
Warren went to the fridge, sighed, and pulled out a bag of baby carrots that he munched on loudly. "Well, at least your girlfriend will know you're sanitized," Warren finally said back. "Just don't stick your finger in anything fun -- you'll kill delicate flora."
Sam frowned. "Girlfriend? I'm dating a man? Not that I haven't dated women, but where did you get the idea that I'm seein' one now? My boyfriend lives here?"
A boyfriend? Warren paused mid-chew. "Oh, that's Jay who had a woman. I mix you two up all the time. I don't even know who I'm paying when cheque time comes around." And then, because he was curious, he added: "Who is your boyfriend? Are they equally as dull?"
"Clint keeps me on my damn toes, that's for sure." Sam muttered fondly, a small smile on his face. The smile quickly went away as Sam processed that Warren couldn't tell him and Jay apart. "Jay and I don't even hardly look alike, the hell you mean you cain't tell us apart?"
Clint? Warren choked and dropped his bag of carrots. Reaching in the fridge for a bottle of water, he took several thick swallows before clearing his throat. "Forget the Guthrie look alike problem -- Clint?! Like ... old balls Clint? Listen. Sam. You don't like me and I have zero opinions on you but there's something to be said about growing old with someone rather than just looking up one day to see the gravity toll on a scrotum."
"I'm...going to choose to forget you ever said that." Sam said carefully, face scrunched up unpleasantly. "And not that it's any of yer business, but I actually like him as a person, ain't nobody's looks lastin' forever cept Dolly's. I'd rather someone steady who's kind to me and cares about my family- who understands that I raised a whole load of kids cause Mama wouldn't over choosin' someone for if they're gonna 'age gracefully' with me."
"Far be it from me for standing in the way of true love but if you want him to look his actual age -- which is younger than me by 5 years -- you'd do well to introduce him to a solid skin care regime. The man could use a moisturizer." He finished his water bottle and wiped his mouth. "Once upon a time, we used to hang out a lot, Clint and I. Shenanigans were had, and questionable motels were used. Also pancakes. Pancakes were involved. Make him pancakes I guess is what I'm trying to say. Pancakes filled with vitamins. You don't want him to die mid-sex. That's my dream, not his."
"He actually makes me breakfast." Sam said with a pointedly raised eyebrow. "And I ain't got a skin care regimen. I don't even own sunscreen......but he will eat pretty much anything I put in front of him so he's gonna end up with at least a few jars of vegetables when I'm done."
"And you're bragging about not owning sunscreen?" Warren was horrified. What was wrong with youth these days... "Well. This hasn't been pleasant and I'm glad the conversation is going to end now because I've decided it will. Please enjoy many years of happiness blending Clint's food when he is too old to eat it. Also, please note that I love drama so if you need to vent or complain about him, my door is always open."
"I will be doin' no such thing. Fuck off, thanks." Sam said, shaking his head as if that would make Warren disappear faster. He really needed to find something that Warren was allergic to and keep it on him at all times, like garlic and vampires. It would be good for his mental health, maybe he could even get his therapist to approve the plan.
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Date: 2024-03-06 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2024-03-06 09:52 pm (UTC)this was so fun to read