Sam & Mel | Heavy Conversations
Apr. 23rd, 2024 05:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xp_aero posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
xp_logsSam has a talk with Mel after his confrontation with Warren.
Sam tried to compose himself and tried to make himself appear as calm as possible as he knocked on Mel's door. "Melody? Can we talk?"
Mel groaned and stayed under her covers, where she had been hiding for the past week when not at work. This was going to be a whole thing and she didn’t want it to be. “Sure.”
"Can I come in? Figure you don't really wanna have this conversation with me outside the door where Paige could hear if she comes back." He said carefully. He didn't want to scare her, but the conversation was important. And he wasn't about to let any word of it slip to Paige or Jay unless Mel specifically asked him to. "I know I don't want her to hear. This is twixt us and us alone."
She was pretty sure half the mansion would hear when he started yelling at her, but Mel obliged. “It’s unlocked.”
Sam entered and carefully pulled out her desk chair and sat across from her. He looked burdened, haunted, like he was looking through her and seeing a ghost.
“I ain’t mad, okay? That’s the first thing I wanna make clear, I ain’t mad at you. I ain’t gonna yell, and I ain’t gonna tell a goddamn soul. But-“ he stressed this word, trying to meet her eye. “But, I am worried.”
Sam had only acted like this a few times- one of those being when Daddy died- and Mel was becoming anxious. She sat up but didn’t look at him, suddenly feeling nauseous. “Okay.”
“I wanna know exactly what happened leadin’ up to it and I wanna know why.” He said in not quite a whisper. “I need to know it was your choice and I need to know why you’d make that choice.”
Sam felt both nauseous and stupid. If he stopped looking at Mel it would feel too much like the night she’d called- and he’d never be free of his and Paige’s voices in his ears. ’Fuckin’ stupid- why would Melody do that?!’ ‘Because she’s takin’ after you.’
“It wasn’t- it’s not like that. God, I-“ Mel scrubbed her hands across her face. It was just sex, why was he looking at her like that?
“Then what was it like Mel? Cause from where I’m sittin’ my rich asshole of a boss who’s older than my boyfriend propositioned my little sister before she could legally drink. I just need to know that yer safe. That this was your choice. That you ain’t changin’ nothin’ bout yerself to try a make him happy or fit in with his bullshit.” Sam sighed and dragged his hand heavily down his face. He needed to know she wasn’t making the same mistakes he’d made when he was barely younger than her. “For fuck’s sake Mel- I’ve dated a rich person before, I know how this tends to play out for folks like us-“
Mel was increasingly horrified at what Sam was implying- that she was some sort of victim in all of this. “Yes it was my choice, Jesus Christ Sam!.. I get that you don’ like him, but Warren never made me do anythin’ I didn’t want- made it clear he wouldn’t hold it against me or you an’ Jay if I choose to walk away. An’ we ain’t fuckin’ dating.”
Sam visibly relaxed, shoulders losing some of the tension. “Good. I’m glad it was your choice. And this ain’t even about Warren, not really. But Christ Mel- this ain’t a catchy and worryingly relatable Reba song. This is your life. I need to know yer bein’ safe and that you know what yer gettin into so you don’t end up like me.”
Sam froze and winced. He hasn’t meant to say that. He hadn’t wanted to give that much away.
Mel finally looked up at him. “Sammy.. what’re you talkin’ about?”
“I wasn’t much younger than you when I made some stupid decisions that I still ain’t fixed myself from.” Sam said quietly, looking at the floor, afraid now to meet her eye. “It’s been seven years since I ended it and I still catch myself worryin’ bout what she wanted and what I could do to be more what she liked…….more what she an’ her millions of dollars was used to…… I just…. I’m worried about you Mel. I don’t want you gettin’ hurt. I don’t wanna see you end up like me with no fucking clue who you really are cause you went from livin’ with Mama’s expectations to livin’ with Warren’s……”
He sighed and put his head in both hands. “And I know it’s yer choice but I thought it was mine too back then and I just…. I need to know yer okay. I couldn’t keep you safe from the Cabots but Jesus Mel, I oughta be able to keep you safe from becoming me.”
She didn’t say anything at first, just reached across to wrap Sam up in a hug. “M’okay Sam, I’m okay. I’m sorry.”
“All I care about is if yer safe and happy, Mel.” Sam whispered, hugging her tightly. “An’ I don’t trust Warren as far as I could throw his hollow boned ass- but so long as yer safe and happy…..I just need to know yer okay. You can do whatever you want as long as I know yer okay.”
“I’m fine Sam. I’m okay. It’s- Warren doesn’t expect anything, y’know? It’s.. it’s nice… I’m fine. I know the whole thing is weird but I’m fine.”
“I ain’t judging on his age.” Sam said. “Be a bit hypocritical of me at any rate- I just….. I worry ‘bout you. You ‘n Jay might be thicker than thieves but you take after me…..and I know the kinda shit twenty year old me woulda gotten up to had I been here and not in Scotland….all I need to know is that yer safe, Mel. And I need you to know that I ain’t- I’d rather you tell me shit than hide it from me and make me feel like yer scared of me when it comes out. Now chin up- and help me figure out how we can keep this from Jay n’ Paige so you don’t get Jay thinkin’ our boss is a serial killer.”
“Jay already knows,” Mel mumbled, flopping back onto the bed. “He got an email about it.” Still one of the most mortifying moments of her life. “Paige though… oh my God.”
Sam bit back what he wanted to say because it was only going to upset Mel further but he couldn't believe that that slimy motherfucker had sent Jay an email about him sleeping with Mel.
Sam took her hand and squeezed. "Okay, so I help you hide it from Paigey. I successfully hid a three year relationship from y'all when I lived with y'all.....we can keep her from findin' out about this together."
Mel squeezed back. “Okay, thank you Sammy.”
“‘Course.” Sam said. “I love you, I’d do anythin’ for you hon.”
Those words felt like a punch to the gut- Sam shouldn’t have to. Her slip up meant that he felt he had to deal with it and Mel didn’t want that for him.
But that was a conversation for another time, so Mel just whispered, “I love you too.”
Sam tried to compose himself and tried to make himself appear as calm as possible as he knocked on Mel's door. "Melody? Can we talk?"
Mel groaned and stayed under her covers, where she had been hiding for the past week when not at work. This was going to be a whole thing and she didn’t want it to be. “Sure.”
"Can I come in? Figure you don't really wanna have this conversation with me outside the door where Paige could hear if she comes back." He said carefully. He didn't want to scare her, but the conversation was important. And he wasn't about to let any word of it slip to Paige or Jay unless Mel specifically asked him to. "I know I don't want her to hear. This is twixt us and us alone."
She was pretty sure half the mansion would hear when he started yelling at her, but Mel obliged. “It’s unlocked.”
Sam entered and carefully pulled out her desk chair and sat across from her. He looked burdened, haunted, like he was looking through her and seeing a ghost.
“I ain’t mad, okay? That’s the first thing I wanna make clear, I ain’t mad at you. I ain’t gonna yell, and I ain’t gonna tell a goddamn soul. But-“ he stressed this word, trying to meet her eye. “But, I am worried.”
Sam had only acted like this a few times- one of those being when Daddy died- and Mel was becoming anxious. She sat up but didn’t look at him, suddenly feeling nauseous. “Okay.”
“I wanna know exactly what happened leadin’ up to it and I wanna know why.” He said in not quite a whisper. “I need to know it was your choice and I need to know why you’d make that choice.”
Sam felt both nauseous and stupid. If he stopped looking at Mel it would feel too much like the night she’d called- and he’d never be free of his and Paige’s voices in his ears. ’Fuckin’ stupid- why would Melody do that?!’ ‘Because she’s takin’ after you.’
“It wasn’t- it’s not like that. God, I-“ Mel scrubbed her hands across her face. It was just sex, why was he looking at her like that?
“Then what was it like Mel? Cause from where I’m sittin’ my rich asshole of a boss who’s older than my boyfriend propositioned my little sister before she could legally drink. I just need to know that yer safe. That this was your choice. That you ain’t changin’ nothin’ bout yerself to try a make him happy or fit in with his bullshit.” Sam sighed and dragged his hand heavily down his face. He needed to know she wasn’t making the same mistakes he’d made when he was barely younger than her. “For fuck’s sake Mel- I’ve dated a rich person before, I know how this tends to play out for folks like us-“
Mel was increasingly horrified at what Sam was implying- that she was some sort of victim in all of this. “Yes it was my choice, Jesus Christ Sam!.. I get that you don’ like him, but Warren never made me do anythin’ I didn’t want- made it clear he wouldn’t hold it against me or you an’ Jay if I choose to walk away. An’ we ain’t fuckin’ dating.”
Sam visibly relaxed, shoulders losing some of the tension. “Good. I’m glad it was your choice. And this ain’t even about Warren, not really. But Christ Mel- this ain’t a catchy and worryingly relatable Reba song. This is your life. I need to know yer bein’ safe and that you know what yer gettin into so you don’t end up like me.”
Sam froze and winced. He hasn’t meant to say that. He hadn’t wanted to give that much away.
Mel finally looked up at him. “Sammy.. what’re you talkin’ about?”
“I wasn’t much younger than you when I made some stupid decisions that I still ain’t fixed myself from.” Sam said quietly, looking at the floor, afraid now to meet her eye. “It’s been seven years since I ended it and I still catch myself worryin’ bout what she wanted and what I could do to be more what she liked…….more what she an’ her millions of dollars was used to…… I just…. I’m worried about you Mel. I don’t want you gettin’ hurt. I don’t wanna see you end up like me with no fucking clue who you really are cause you went from livin’ with Mama’s expectations to livin’ with Warren’s……”
He sighed and put his head in both hands. “And I know it’s yer choice but I thought it was mine too back then and I just…. I need to know yer okay. I couldn’t keep you safe from the Cabots but Jesus Mel, I oughta be able to keep you safe from becoming me.”
She didn’t say anything at first, just reached across to wrap Sam up in a hug. “M’okay Sam, I’m okay. I’m sorry.”
“All I care about is if yer safe and happy, Mel.” Sam whispered, hugging her tightly. “An’ I don’t trust Warren as far as I could throw his hollow boned ass- but so long as yer safe and happy…..I just need to know yer okay. You can do whatever you want as long as I know yer okay.”
“I’m fine Sam. I’m okay. It’s- Warren doesn’t expect anything, y’know? It’s.. it’s nice… I’m fine. I know the whole thing is weird but I’m fine.”
“I ain’t judging on his age.” Sam said. “Be a bit hypocritical of me at any rate- I just….. I worry ‘bout you. You ‘n Jay might be thicker than thieves but you take after me…..and I know the kinda shit twenty year old me woulda gotten up to had I been here and not in Scotland….all I need to know is that yer safe, Mel. And I need you to know that I ain’t- I’d rather you tell me shit than hide it from me and make me feel like yer scared of me when it comes out. Now chin up- and help me figure out how we can keep this from Jay n’ Paige so you don’t get Jay thinkin’ our boss is a serial killer.”
“Jay already knows,” Mel mumbled, flopping back onto the bed. “He got an email about it.” Still one of the most mortifying moments of her life. “Paige though… oh my God.”
Sam bit back what he wanted to say because it was only going to upset Mel further but he couldn't believe that that slimy motherfucker had sent Jay an email about him sleeping with Mel.
Sam took her hand and squeezed. "Okay, so I help you hide it from Paigey. I successfully hid a three year relationship from y'all when I lived with y'all.....we can keep her from findin' out about this together."
Mel squeezed back. “Okay, thank you Sammy.”
“‘Course.” Sam said. “I love you, I’d do anythin’ for you hon.”
Those words felt like a punch to the gut- Sam shouldn’t have to. Her slip up meant that he felt he had to deal with it and Mel didn’t want that for him.
But that was a conversation for another time, so Mel just whispered, “I love you too.”
no subject
Date: 2024-04-23 11:54 pm (UTC)Sam Guthrie, tempting the universe.
A nice continuation from the stinger of previous log — it is good to see the siblings talk openly, if awkwardly, around strong feelings and not completely divulged trauma. I look forward to the three of them failing to keep Paige in the dark.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-24 02:58 pm (UTC)Oh sibling dynamics... beautiful log!
no subject
Date: 2024-04-24 02:59 pm (UTC)Besides my visceral approval to Sam's protective older sibling vibes here, I do love that they just talk about and that Sam hands over some very relatable information to Mel without giving his entire traumatic dating relationship history to her.
Really well written, you two!