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[x-dazzler.livejournal.com]

In which death and life are both brought to light...

For the world is hollow and I have touched the stars...
Front patio, late afternoon...

The smell of freshly baked chocolate cookies curled up from the plate enticingly - nothing complicated, in fact something that would have had Lorna scream in horror, considering it was a premixed packed. Alison smiles down at them fondly, and leaned back, closing her eyes and listening to the wind rustle though the leaves of the trees a little ways off and the boys talking to each other animatedly down in the grass although still within sight where Miles could watch her.

Just inside the door, leaning against the wall to catch his breath, Nathan smiled tiredly as he smelled the cookies. Well, she had said something about that, hadn't she? Pushing himself back upright, he hobbled out onto the porch, bracing himself telekinetically and trying not to grimace at the way his head was throbbing. Maybe he'd been overdoing it just a bit for a first day out of bed...

'You look like shit' was hardly the way to greet someone, so Alison refrained, merely smiling at him and giving the seat next to her a pointed look. If nothing else, Moira would rampage out of the medlab to haul him back once he reached his limit - and she suspected he was (also) the type to just keep going until he keeled over, regardless of what anyone told him. "Heya!" she greeted him, waiting for him to settle down before going on.

"Hey," Nathan said, wheezing a bit as he lowered himself into the chair closest to hers. Wincing, he stuck the leg with the cast out in front of him, and let the crutch drop with a clatter to the porch. "Cookies smell good," he said after a moment, his voice a little more steady. He saw the boys out on the grass and smiled a little, glad to see them in such apparent good humor. "They're doing okay?" he asked, glancing sideways at Alison.

Alison's smile faded a bit and she wrapped her arms around herself by reflex, wincing a bit as the motion revived the fading ache of the injection site on her shoulder. "Miles is still afraid I might disappear. But he's dealing well. It's scary sometimes, how well he deals with things, but I suppose the life he led before set him up for that. The ultimate test in character." She took in a deep breath, smiling brightly as Miles paused to wave at her, Artie taking a few steps back to project a smiley face picture and wave his arms. "I think they'll be okay."

"That's good," Nathan said softly, his eyes lingering on Alison as she smiled at the boys. "Would this be the time to nag? Before we manage to distract ourselves with cookies and music."

"Yeah, probably would," she admitted easily enough. She wasn't one to go forth to talk about her issues, but if someone asked... Alison didn't mind leaning at times. Not at all. "I've known for a while now that I'd be capable of killing." She paused, took a slow, unsteady breath. Her eyes remained fixed on Miles. "And why."

"To protect your child?" Nathan murmured. It wasn't really a question. "It's... not an uncommon feeling, Alison," he said, and hoped she wouldn't notice the catch in his voice.

"I know," was the strained reply. "But... I'm new to this. It wasn't even a month that Miles was with me when-" she stopped, taking a deep breath and let it out slowly. "it was... a very short term realization, if that makes any sense. And I knew that the man I was aiming at wasn't just someone holding Miles hostage. He was a person, probably following orders, with a family and friends..." And she was so very glad he'd moved at the last second, and she'd only killed some of the floor back then.

"Did you kill him?" Nathan asked calmly, reaching out and taking one of the cookies, only to bounce it from hand to hand for a moment. They were still quite warm.

"I had every intention to. I aimed to do so." She bit her lip, the memory flaring up bright and clear, far too much so. "Had him right in my sights," she shook her head, holding one hand up in a gun gesture - exactly how she had been aiming at him back then. "He tripped and moved at the last second. But even then... you know what you meant to do, y'know? And I would have killed him, if he hadn't moved." And Miles would have seen that.

Nathan stayed silent for a moment, nibbling at the cookie. His appetite, as always lately, seemed to have skipped town. "You can't second-guess yourself," he said finally, then smiled faintly. "I seem to be saying that a lot since Sunday." And being quite a hypocrite about it, his conscience pointed out sternly. He ignored it. "Miles is your child," he went on slowly. "Your primary concern. If you were back in that situation, or another where his life was in danger and your actions meant the difference between him surviving or... not, would you act any differently?"

"No." The answer is certain, if not entirely good for her peace of mind. "I've thought about it over and over. That's why..." and she shifts in the chair, curling up her legs and wrapping her arms around her knees, giving him a quiet look. "I've always known my power had the potential to be highly destructive. In more ways than one. Motivation makes for a scary boost." She wasn't sure she would be able to go into details, not yet, as to what she had done to the Skippy dupe, however. Though Rahne might suspect, at that. "These are good cookies," she commented, a simple way to suggest that she needed space to think more, before going on about this further.

Nathan nodded, getting the message. "They are. Makes me wish I actually got hungry these days." He looked away for a moment, and then back at Alison, smiling a bit wearily. "So. You really want to meet my 'big sister'? That's got to be a first."

"Pain tends to take away the appetite," Alison stated matter of factly, and then grinned at the question. "Yes. I do. Wonder if we can take the cookies there?" she wondered idly, eyes drifting back to Artie who was now creating a thought bubble with a pile of cookies in it and a question. "Yes, plenty left!" she laughed, loud enough so they could hear her and return to their play without worries.

"There?" Nathan asked, blinking, and then ahhed. "Actually, I wasn't thinking of bringing you into my mind, but letting her come out."

Not exactly what Alison was used to, but then again, she was hardly a telepath. "Right!" The temptation to ask if she'd want a cookie too was overwhelming, but she managed to refrain. "Whenever's good for you, then." Besides. There were things she could ask his 'big sister' that perhaps needed asking, too.

Nathan gave her a mildly suspicious look, and then took a deep, somewhat shaky breath, turning his attention inward and completely unaware that he wasn't guarding his expression as carefully as he should be. #Askani?# he called out hesitantly. #If you want... now is good...#

One of the stars in the sky in his head glowed red-gold, and Nathan stiffened, feeling the tug on his energies as the firebird shape swept down onto the beach and turned into Askani's familiar form. She gave him a long, contemplative look, and then vanished. He opened his eyes and saw her standing by the railing, watching him and Alison.

Alison tilted her head, watching the materialization of the woman - there was no other word for it, really. She wasn't staring exactly, but she wasn't being shy either, looking at her in as straightforward a way as any, a touch of wonder at the implications of what her presence entailed gleaming in her eyes. "Hi," she smiled a bit, nodding. "I'm Alison. Which you may already know at that. We've been hearing a lot about you and yours lately." That seemed to be enough to let Askani answer as she wanted to really, so Alison left it at that.

"That pleases me to hear," Askani said, staring right at Nathan, who looked up to meet her eyes, flinching a little. "Are you certain you wish to do this today?" she asked mildly. "You look exhausted."

"I'm fine," Nathan muttered, looking away.

Askani smiled slightly, turning her attention back to Alison. "He tells me you wish to learn our tongue."

'He's so not fine,' Alison mouthed to her while Nathan was still looking away, shooting him a wry look. "Yes, I would please," was all she said out loud however, nodding firmly. "Is this migraine type learning material?" she added, willing to take it if that's all it meant, but still - knowing ahead of time was always good.

Askani laughed, a surprisingly youthful sound, and her smile had less of an edge to it. "Please, sister. I'm a hundred and twelve years old - I have learned how to be deft, over the decades."

"Oh?" Nathan inquired dryly.

Askani glanced at him with an amused, reproving look, and then focused on Alison. "Merely open your mind," she said. "It will only take a moment."

Open? Oh right. Psychic training for the non-telepaths, shielding and all. Welcome and enter of your own free will, Alison couldn't help but think, before consciously working on the opening mind bit Betsy had shown her when they had trained together, sending a mental twang of warning down the near dormant link between herself and the purple haired telepath. There was a thrill of anticipation running in the background of her mind, the thought of being able to understand the nuances of the music she was hoping to collect being that much closer to possible a source of pure delight.

Erk! was her next coherent thought, everything else fading in the background as images, sounds and feelings washed over her. Indecipherable script danced in her mind, words she'd never imagined could sound so lovely sang to her endlessly as she straightened up, eyes glazing over at the amount of information slowly streaming through her thoughts, settling firmly in to stay one by one. "Oh..." Her eyes filled with tears as the transfer continued, the words written within slowly making sense, the words speaking to her more clearly with each passing moment.

She realized only after a while (how long she had no clue) that she'd closed her eyes at one point, focusing only on the lights and patterns swirling in her thoughts, until it slowly stilled, settling into place with what she fancied was a sigh of satisfaction. She opened her eyes, intent on thanking Askani although if she'd even be able to speak she had no clue...

...only to see Askani gone and Nathan not in his chair. Her gaze went lower. Nathan not in his chair and on the patio Nathan was what she saw, instead. Eyes widening in dismay she got up, stumbling a bit before leaning down next to him.

"~Nathan? Are you all right~?" Moira would have her head on a platter if they'd killed him off with this.

Gulping in air, Nathan pushed himself up with his good arm, blinking up at Alison. "~It... worked, I see,~" he answered her in Askani, his voice a little ragged. Askani, singular and feminine, was murmuring in the back of his mind, sounding vaguely disgusted, but he ignored her and focused on sitting up. "~Never... mind me. You're all right?~" he asked, wincing. He'd gotten hit by a sudden dizzy spell and toppled right out of his chair. Moderately embarrassing, all in all.

"~All right, he says!~" Alison grumbled, making certain he didn't sit up too quickly while scowling at him warningly. "~Flat on his back on the patio and who will have to answer to Moira for this I ask you?~" she continued, the sing song Askani coming out far more formally than she would normally speak, unbeknownst to her. "Wait. I'm talking Askani?"

Nathan couldn't help a lopsided grin. "~Speaking the battle language as if you were born to it, sister,~" he said. The world was trying to do that spinning thing again. He really wished it would stop. Not to mention the fact that he was hungry and tired all at once, which was kind of weird. "~How much she did give you, beyond the words?~"

There was that touch of dazzlement again as she looked inward, too much still to grasp all at once, and she retreated as delicately as she could from the memories and thoughts and knowledge stirred up by even that light a look. "~A lot. Not everything, but enough for nuance.~" She paused and smiled a bit, turning a stern look at him that was somewhat spoiled by the pure joy she was radiating. "~Brother. Who is sorely in need of rest.~"

She was almost glowing, Nathan thought dimly. He knew that pure delight, too - he'd just forgotten it this last week or so, with everything that had happened. He chuckled softly, raising his good hand to rub at his eyes. "~I'm glad you like it,~" he said quietly. "~It is beautiful. I need to remember that, when it gets too heavy.~"

"~I can remind, you then. And vice versa, I should think.~" And why did she have the distinct feeling the speech patterns weren't exactly coming out as she meant them? She shrugged the thought off, not caring in the least and all for enjoying the moment, really. "~Are you feeling steady enough to rise?~" and she gave him That Look, lips quirking as she realized where it came from and my wasn't Mother Askani a sneaky old woman at that.

Nathan gave her a deadpan look, then levitated himself into the air. It didn't really help the way his head was feeling, to do that, but he did have his pride. "Perfectly steady, see?" he said, in English, with his best endearing grin. "The chair just got uppity and tossed me out."

"I'm not convinced ~ that's healthy for you just now~," she murmured, not even aware of the lingual shift. "And I don't think Moira will accept my blaming the chair, either." She rose to her feet, still feeling slightly dizzy herself though hardly anything incapaciting. "~Indulge me and use the uppity chair, would you brother?~"

"Well," Nathan said, beginning to feel decidedly light-headed. "Would be rude of me to just float here, wouldn't it?" He shifted himself over to the chair, and deliberately reached out and took a cookie. "I wish that there was..." Stopping, his eyes unfocusing as a voice whispered to him out of the stars, he tilted his head, considering the proposition for a moment, and then nodded to himself and allowed it. He felt the presence reach out, far more delicately than Askani, and make a stronger connection to him. "~He wishes he could tell you more about our music himself,~" he heard himself say, his voice lighter, gentler, an echo of the woman who was using it to speak to Alison. He felt his lips curve in a whimsical smile. "~Rather than have to dig for it. I think our sheer numbers frighten him.~" Nathan protested wordlessly, but the nameless Askani musican soothed him.

She was hearing people, not yet here yet long past but real nonetheless and for a moment the enormity of it all nearly brought her to tears again, grief and longing blending together. "~And might not there be a way, given time and rest and the chance for him to hear all he needs to hear without drowning?~" Alison couldn't help but hope for an affirmative to her question, willing to wait and slog it out slowly until perhaps there might be another way ~ another chance to experience things fully instead of second hand.

"~There is all the time in the world at this end of history,~" the Askani woman said warmly.

They weren't rushed and neither should Nathan, was what Alison got out of that. And she smiled at the both of them, all of them, not the overly bright smiles she tended to gift people with these days, but something almost painful yet undeniably happy, the glow that had been radiating from her for a while now reflecting her feelings fully. "~What will be, will be.~" Which was all there was to say, really. And if Nathan collapses from all these shenanigans, she's be toast, was what she'd be, she knew.

"~Must not prolong this, not today,~" the Askani woman said cheerfully. "~Ensure he rests, will you, sister?~" And with that she was gone, her departure far more gentle than her clanmother's generally were. Nathan sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck and eyeing Alison. "Don't get any ideas," he said a bit crankily.

"Don't need to," she replied, far too cheerfully. "~I could knock you over with a feather, brother.~" She reached for a cookie and bit into it with an innocent smile, then turned to look to the side slowly.

Two pairs of eyes stared back at them, Miles hovering very carefully a safe distance away, both boys keeping oh so quiet as they watched.

"Miles and Artie were curious!" the green skinned boy finally blurted out, attempting a shy smile once the lack of frowning from either adult was made evident.

"Not to worry, guys," Nathan said with a smile. "Just helping to teach Alison something fun."

A low chuckle and Alison nodded, smiling reassuringly at both of them. "~Yes, and very special as well.~" The blank looks on both Miles and Artie's faces drew a puzzle glance from her and she blinked, trying to backtrack on what she said.

Nathan chuckled. "It'll wear off," he assured her. "Remember me unable to manage English after they came?"

"I understood about half of that," she whimpered, groaning to herself. And reached out for another cookie, before rising to her feet to walk towards the edge of the patio with the plate in hand, offering it to the boys. Miles, still making sure to stay out of reach made sure to take an equal number to share with Artie and both ran off a short distance, discussing pirate rules and loot.

"~Well, I did ask for it!~" she chuckled as she set the considerably lighter plate down within his reach once more and plopped into her own chair again with a satisfied grin.

"~If I laugh at you, just a little, don't hate me,~ Nathan said with a grin of his own.