xp_logs | Nathan and Moira, Wednesday evening

After he wakes up from Amanda's sleep spell, Nathan and Moira have a talk about Askani and control. She gives him some food for thought.

"Wha' do ye mean ye were pretty much "nearly" passed out on th' floor!" Moira bellowed, staring at Nathan aghast. She stood over him at the edge of the bed and looked down at his sprawled form. "'ow can ye NEARLY be passed out?!"

"'Nearly' in that I wasn't actually unconscious?" Nathan said meekly, fighting the urge to hold up a pillow as a shield. She looked perfectly capable of swatting him at the moment, and Moira could hit fairly hard when she wanted to.

"Wha'. 'appened." She gritted her teeth as she rode the wave of anxious adrenalin. She had felt the link being shielded earlier, but had assumed Nathan was just trying something with the Askani, something rational like that. She hadn't imagined Askani herself was the one doing the shielding! By the time she had gotten Angelo's email and Amanda's message about the sleep spell, there hadn't been much else to do but wait for him to wake up.

Nathan took a deep breath, pushing himself into a sitting position. Amanda's sleep spell had been fairly strong, and he was still a little groggy from it. You probably needed it, his conscience pointed out. He snarled back at it silently, pointing out that what he needed was to stop scaring the hell out of people every second day.

"Amanda was showing me a dream she and Manuel had shared," he said quietly. "I don't know what about it set the Askani off, but some of them... psis and precogs and clairvoyants, mostly, lost it. As in, went batshit insane for about five minutes. And Askani..." He sighed deeply. "She grabbed control, shouted at Amanda. I fought her back, but... well, she was a little rough."

"Bloody 'ell," Moira sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "Jus' because she's dead doesnae give 'er th' rights ta yer body when she damn well pleases. I can only imagine Amanda's reaction t' all o' tha' an' wha's goin' ta 'appen th' next time Askani decides she wants t' come out an' Amanda's still upset. I am t'...damn, guess it takes more time ta teach 'er..."

Nathan stared up at her, feeling the Askani murmuring in the back of his mind. He couldn't hear Askani herself, though. Small blessings. Setting his jaw, he reached out and took Moira's hand, pulling her down to the edge of the bed beside him. "I'm sorry Amanda's upset," he said quietly, unsteadily, and continued with no trace of self-pity. "I seem to do nothing but upset people these days. Getting into bad habits."

With a small smile, she intertwined her fingers with his. "Nay upset, jus' worried for th' most part. Seems like we cannae catch a break, can we?"

He took another deep breath, shakier this time, and stared down at the comforter. "What have I gotten myself into?" he asked unevenly. "Last night... she's teaching Alison the battle language, giving her so much joy, and today she's smacking me around."

"'ave ye tried askin' 'er?" Moira suggested, rubbing his hand soothingly. "She's in yer 'ead, aye? Ask. An' remind 'er tha' 'tis yer body tha' she an' 'er people are in. 'Tis nay goin' ta bode well for them if'n ye get incredibly unhappy, is it? Last time tha' 'appened, they 'ad one 'ell o' a fight on their 'ands from ye."

"Threaten them," Nathan said heavily. "Behave or you're going to have one pissy host." He laughed, almost despairingly. "Maybe Manuel was right."

"...wha' 'bout gettin' rid o' them?" she asked quietly, staring at him intently.

Nathan stared at her for a long moment, his eyes. "I can't," he said finally, his voice breaking. "I can't do that to them, I can't..."

"I know," Moira murmured. "An' I know tha' would tear ye apart. I jus' couldnae believe yer were sayin' Manuel might be right..."

Nathan swallowed past the lump in his throat. "He... may be, in a way. I didn't take control back from Askani. She gave it to me. I don't know that I could have taken it if she hadn't."

She frowned at him. "Wha'll it take ta be able ta be at tha' point?" Moira asked, not bothering with "if"'s. She dealt with "when's".

He gave another weak laugh. "More telepathy than I have?"

"Then why is she even botherin' ta stay ''idden' most o' th' time?" There was some challenge in her words. "Why doesnae she take control all th' time? Somethin's makin' 'er not, aye?"

Nathan stopped, thinking, really thinking for the first time since the conversation with Amanda had gone so wrong. "I... don't know," he said hesitantly. "I thought it was just her being... reasonable. Holding up her end of the bargain, or whatever you want to call it." Which had made what had happened this morning all the more horrifying, as if all the illusions had been stripped away to show him just what a position he'd put himself in...

"Nathan, she's *dead*. She doesnae 'ave ta do a damned thin' an' ye know it. Think for a moment. If ye were dead, jus' 'avin' watched her people *die* around ye, wouldnae ye jump at a second chance? An' if tha' second chance 'appened ta be stubborn, bull'eaded wit' someone jus' as stubborn an' bull'eaded linked ta make even more trouble, nay countin' th' others...wouldnae ye, if ye could, take over?"

Nathan eyed her a bit wildly. "Moira, I love you dearly, but you're scaring the crap out of me at the moment."

Moira shrugged a little and smiled down at him. "Because I'm makin' sense?"

"Because..." Nathan stopped, concentrating on being calm and thinking, again. "I don't know what could be stopping her," he said. "I'm no match for her, Moira."

"Dinnae ye also say at one point tha' yer visions would never go away?"

Nathan couldn't help a faint, tired smile. "Stop planting your verbal boot in my ass," he complained as lightly as he could, and then went on, more seriously. "Yeah. I did. But... well, I guess there are similarities. They're both apparently overwhelming forces trying to make my life miserable. But you're forgetting that the visions stopped because I surrendered, Moira."

Moira sighed. "I'm runnin' out o' answers, love. I wish I knew wha' ta tell ye." Worry laced her words and her thoughts.

"Don't tell me anything?" Nathan asked, his smile fading a little. He shifted over awkwardly, not letting go of Moira's hand. "Just..." He trailed off as he pulled her gently towards him.

She turned and let him pull her to him, scooting her legs up on the bed so she could curl up tightly against him. "Be 'ere?" Moira murmured, pillowing her head on his shoulder. "Always."