xp_logs | Nathan and Doug, Thursday morning

Nathan plays wandering 'sounding board' again, this time testing the water with Doug. Doug is fairly open about what he's feeling, but turns out to be a far tougher nut to crack. And Nate forgot his nutcrackers.

Nathan paused in front of Doug's door, leaning against the wall to catch his breath. He was trying to be good and rely strictly on his own motor power to get around today, since Moira was so convinced that overdoing it with his telekinesis for the last couple of days was part of how he'd gotten himself into such a mess yesterday. But it was exhausting, more than it should have been, and he really hoped that Doug was in the mood to invite him in to sit down.

He reached out, knocking gently on the door. "Doug? You in?"

Hearing Nathan, Doug quickly hopped up from his bed to open the door. "Nathan, come on in," he greeted. Taking in the strain on Nathan's face, he quickly pulled over a chair. "Sit, sit."

Giving a sigh of relief as he lowered himself into the chair, Nathan managed a warm smile. "How are you feeling? You look a little better than I expected."

Doug tapped the devices hanging over his ears that looked like hearing aids. "Thanks to Doc McCoy, I managed to get a good night's sleep for the first night in quite a while. It's remarkable how much good regular sleep will do for you." He leaned back on his bed. "Now I'm just trying to relax and regain my emotional center, as it were. I've been kind of all over the place the past couple weeks."

"You've had good reason," Nathan said, slouching a little in the chair. "I'm glad you're feeling better, though." He winked. "I imagine Angie's been helping."

Doug nodded. "I did a bit of crying on her shoulder before getting my nap in the Box yesterday. She's had to put up with the brunt of my crazy mood swings lately. We almost had a fight the other night because I was going insane."

"Girlfriends are good for that," Nathan said wisely. "The crying on shoulders, I mean. I did that a few times the first few weeks I was here."

Doug grinned. "You two are entirely too cute for old people." He chuckled to take the edge off of the mockery. "So yeah, between the nap and last night, I'm actually making a stab at catching back up on the huge amount of lost sleep. Probably going to take it easy the next couple days."

"Also very good," Nathan said with a deadpan look. "Taking it easy when you've been through a hard time is essential."

Doug grinned. "I'm trying to figure out an evil plot to torment some cicadas in retaliation."

"Run around with a giant flyswatter?" Nathan chuckled. "In a costume? Cicada Octonus?"

Doug shook his head and snickered. "That'd just be silly. No, I'd rather implement some stunningly diabolical anti-cicada plan from the shadows."

"Ah," Nathan said knowingly, nodding. "Avenging their... uh, cruel depredations."

Doug grinned. "Exactly."

The banter was fun, Nathan told himself, and was probably releasing a lot of stress for them both, but they couldn't do it indefinitely. "I talked to Angie, back on Tuesday, about what happened to the two of you," he said calmly. "Fighting Jamie's twins, I mean."

Doug grimaced. "Killing them, you mean." He hadn't talked much to anyone about the events of Sunday, minus the pissed-off exchange with Shiro on the journal system. He knew that he was probably going to be talked into going to see Dr. Samson about it, and it seemed that Nathan was going to put his oar in as well.

Nathan's mouth quirked upwards. "I'll go, if you want," he offered. "Or we could sit here and plot your fiendish revenge at the cicadas. Or babble at each other in Askani..."

Doug shrugged. "Sorry. Didn't mean to be snappish. I'm probably going to be talking to Dr. Samson, one way or the other. The nightmares are the biggest problem. I mean, I am one of the people that can say definitively that the person I came up against was not my roommate. But yet, he looked enough like Jamie...and I had to kill him. Twice."

"You weren't being snappish. I was just offering you an out." Nathan leaned back in the chair, regarding Doug levelly. "We can talk about this or not, is what I mean."

Doug shrugged. "I'm dealing with it as best I can. Angie was the one I was more worried about, but she seems to be doing better after her talk with you."

"It's easier to be worried about someone else in situations like this," Nathan pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "About the best distraction imaginable. Trust me, I speak from personal experience," he said with a wry smile.

Doug nodded. "Yeah, I imagine you would. You have nightmares?" he asked quietly.

Nathan laughed a bit grimly. "Most nights," he said. "Most nights, for a very long time." He fell silent for a moment, long enough to choose his words carefully. "I don't want to see you, any of you, have this linger any longer than necessary. You're never going to forget, but it's important to work to put it in the past."

Doug shrugged. "I'm working at that. Talking to Doc Samson will probably help with that, I'd imagine." He snorted. "Ironically enough, even though he and I don't really get on that well, I kind of wish Logan were here. The way I got with Skippy, that sort of vengeful rage when he implied that you and Alison might be dead...I almost wish I could talk to him about it."

"Wrath," Nathan said very simply. "The word you're looking for is wrath, Doug."

Doug nodded. "Afterwards...well, to be honest, I scared myself. I know I scared Angie, too. I'd like to blame it on this whole cicada thing, but I don't think that's all of it."

"Then what?" Nathan prompted gently.

Doug shrugged. "I don't know. I don't think I like the person I was at that point. I mean, we've all been talking about it, and I know in my head that we did what had to be done, but still...if that's the person I had to be to do that, I don't know that I like it."

They were all such good kids, Nathan thought a bit despairingly. Such good people. He kept hearing this over and over again from them, and in the end, what could he say? 'You shouldn't have to have gone through this' was so obvious, so useless... "Maybe it's the person you had to be on Sunday," he said slowly. "It's not necessarily the person you are."

Doug nodded. "I suppose you're right. But then, that doesn't mean I have to like the person I had to be." He chuckled. "I guess there's a sort of separation involved. I'm working on it."

He was either dealing far better with it than a couple of the others Nathan had talked to, or he was hiding it real well. "As long as you know you don't have to work on it yourself," he said, more tiredly than he should have. "Samson's there, or the Professor... my door's open, anytime. I might even know a little bit more about what you're feeling than they are." He mustered a smile.

Doug nodded. "I imagine I'll be seeing Doc Samson one way or another, and I'm supposed to meet with the Professor when I'm a bit more rested to talk about overexerting my power. But yeah, if I need to, I'll probably be by to bend your ear." Taking in the exhaustion in Nathan's body language, he frowned slightly. "But you should probably think about resting some more yourself. Need me to help you get anywhere?"

Okay, that was indeed a dismissal, if a kind one. Nathan's mouth quirked upwards. "Nah, the walking is good practice," he said, getting to his feet. "Just keep what I said in mind, Douglas. And remind Angie she can come talk to me anytime, too."

Doug levered himself up from his bed to walk Nathan to the door. "Will do. And you take care of yourself a bit more, hm? Keep the falling over to a minimum?" He grinned.