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xp_logsWhile complaining about Paige, Sam accidentally lets a confession slip.
TW: Mentioned grooming, mentioned CSA
It was a mistake bringing his siblings north.
He paced outside of Clint's door, thankful that his boyfriend was willing to listen to him vent. He just hoped that he wouldn't end up putting his foot too deep into his own mouth.
Clint tracked Sam's shadow back and forth as it passed by the crack beneath his door, then finally took pity on the younger man and opened it. "Hey," he said, smiling a little. "C'mon in before you wear a hole in the carpet out there."
Sam smiled sheepishly and gave his boyfriend a quick side hug as he moved into the room. “Hey- sorry I’m in a mood.”
"Nah, you're fine," Clint said, returning the hug and then closing the door again behind Sam. "What's got you feelin' some type of way, though?"
“Paige.” Sam groaned. “I thought we were over the whole ‘you have a boyfriend?’ thing but it’s apparently just now clicked for her that I actually like you. Fucking ridiculous.”
"Okay, the semi well-adjusted part of me wants to point out that everybody accepts these things in their own time, no matter how much we wanna strangle them, but the older brother part of me thinks we should definitely figure out how to prank her in a non-mean way because it's been a while and it's not like I'm not around," Clint said, reaching out to pull Sam into a hug. Lifting his chin a little so he could tuck his boyfriend in beneath it, he continued, "Kool-Aid in her shampoo, wrapping all her makeup in Saran Wrap..."
Sam sighed. “It’s not- it ain’t even that I’m queer, she’s known that. It’s more that she’s tryin’ to psychoanalyze me and ain’t even being accurate about it. I mean for fuck’s sake - I know Daddy dyin’ fucked me up but it don’t mean I got daddy issues when it fucked me up cause of what Lucinda did. She got it in her head that I’m datin’ you cause of yer age when I’m into you in spite of it-“
Sam groaned and pressed his forehead heavily into Clint’s chest. “I- that sounded bad- it’s- fuck let me explain?”
Pressing his lips together to keep himself from making a comment about Sam's mother. "Not gonna lie, age's never really come into the dating equation for me, but I get why it's a thing sometimes." Then he kissed Sam's temple and said, "But go ahead. I'm not judging you or anything."
Sam fought the urge to groan again and kept his face buried against Clint’s chest. “When I was sixteen I had what my therapist describes as a ‘traumatic relationship’ with a woman who was in her twenties...when I realized I liked ya.” Sam swallowed hard. “Freaked me out at first got all anxious- obviously I got over it and got up the nerve t’ ask you over but…that was a choice based on you as a person not yer age.”
Statutory rape, Clint's mind helpfully supplied, which he hated. "That explains some things," he said, rubbing his chin back and forth against Sam's hair. It wasn't precisely a noogie, since that wasn't the kind of conversation they were having, but it was meant to ground the younger man. "And I feel like I should be proud of you or something for working through your trauma, but mostly I'm just... really happy you did, cause I don't know what'd I'd be doing without you."
“I didn’t break it off till I was nineteen.” Sam whispered, almost hollow. But Clint’s words were grounding and he hugged the man tighter. “You made it easy, you made it clear you actually respect me, and you listen.”
Sam then mumbled under his breath. “‘Sides, you ain’t about to release a song with my fuckin’ name in it to a major record label.”
Clint's eyes widened and his arms reflexively tightened around Sam. "I'm sorry, she did what." He couldn't even make it a question. Somehow, it struck him as just the kind of asshole thing a statutory rapist would do. Immortalize their actions and fucking flaunt the abuse they inflicted -- "Wait. Nope." He couldn't let himself think about it -- this wasn't about him, anyway, no matter how many terrible things he might wanna do to her if he tracked this woman down. This was about Sam and, to a much lesser degree, Paige. So Clint forced his arms to relax and buried his nose in his boyfriend's hair. "Thank you for telling me."
“I-“ he sighed but kept his hug tight. “It just ain’t the kind of thing you drop into conversation yknow? I even still used the phone she bought me until I broke it back in th’ spring. Couldn’t exactly afford to look a gift horse in the mouth all those years…..”
Clint's glad he didn't know about all this when they first started seeing each other. He'd've broken the phone on purpose just to get Doug to give Sam a mansion one faster and destruction of personal property probably wasn't the best basis for a relationship. "No, I understand. But I'm glad you feel like you can tell me now. And I'm sorry your sister's taking a while to wise up."
“She doesn’t know.” Sam said quickly, immediately to Paige’s defense despite having come here to complain about her. “She don’t know….and I ain’t plannin’ on tellin’ her. I’ll get her back eventually - prolly when she finally realizes she’s into that boy what made her a mixtape she swears ain’t flirtin’ with her.”
"Mixtapes are always flirting," Clint said, aggrieved on Sam's behalf on that front. "Want me to make you one?"
“Only if I get to make you one.” Sam said, smile twitching at his lips. “Though you already flirt with me plenty.”
"Deal," Clint said, pressing a kiss to Sam's not-really-a-smile. "I expect some epic 80s hair bands and really grungy 90s nostalgia. And there better be some Britney on there."
“I can do Dolly, Blondie, and Pearl Jam?” Sam teased, leaning up to kiss him. “Maybe some George Strait.”
Laughing, Clint said, "Excellent. Now c'mon, I've got leftovers from that place that catered my dad's latest show. Stole us all the good stuff. Just have to make sure there's enough for Matt later."
“Deal.” Sam grinned.
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Date: 2024-11-12 02:12 pm (UTC)