Sam and Mel | A Breath of Fresh Air
Dec. 27th, 2024 06:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsIt ain't easy bein' a Guthrie....and it's definitely been a blue Christmas.
Sam needed to get out of this fucking house. And maybe it was selfish, especially leaving Clint inside with the kids and Lucinda- but he needed to take a moment. He pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek, whispered something about needing a moment outside and then stood to pull on his jacket before leaving.
He wasn’t going far, just far enough away from the house that if he said some derogatory things about his mother that they wouldn’t get back to him. “Fuckin’ bitch actin’ like I’m a fucking degenerate because I brought one more person to feed, and blamin’ me for Paige bringin’ Jono who can’t even eat so how is that a fuckin’ problem- how she gonna act like I’m causin’ some big strain when Jay and I pay most of the bills-“
He froze, seeing Mel standing against the barn. “Mellie- you alright darlin’?”
His sister clutched her phone, telltale wobble in her voice as she spoke to whoever was on the other end. “‘Course ma’am, I understand. It’s been a uh, pleasure workin’ fer ya.” Mel’s eyes widened when she saw Sam, tears gathering. “Uh huh, yeah. I’ll, um, collect my things when I get back an’ sign all that. Bye now.”
She let the phone drop and scrubbed a hand across her face. “I’m- fuck. I was jus’ fired.”
“Shit hon,” Sam sighed, rushing forward a bit to pull her into a hug. “Can I…. Do you need anything?”
“Fuck. I don- I don’t know.” Mel could feel her cheeks getting wet. She was used to this. Lord knew she had been fired one too many times over the years, but it didn’t make it sting any less. “I was workin’ fer that promotion but it went to someone else. She said I weren’t.. reliable enough an’ that they couldn’t keep me on no more.” This summer had been a mess, and going away at Christmas during one of the busiest times had probably been her last strike.
Sam kissed the top of her head and held her close. “Hey, hey- whenever you figure it out you let me know what you need, okay? I’ve got you Mellie, you’ll be okay.”
The thought of going back to Westchester now filled her stomach with a pool of dread. “I-“ Despite all the turmoil, she’d missed being home. Being with the kids and Mama. But that was the last thing Sam wanted to hear.
“Mel, you can tell me.” Sam whispered softly. “Whatever it is I ain’t gonna be mad. Just let me know what I can do.”
“I think I wanna stay here awhile longer Sammy. I jus- I dunno if I can go back jus’ yet.”
True to his word, Sam wasn’t mad. But something in him felt….cracked….it wasn’t quite hurt but it wasn’t not hurt. “Yeah…..uh…..I - I can talk to Jay about riding’ back with me and Clint so you got a car down here and he don’t have to worry about drivin’ back alone….. that’s- yeah.”
“M’sorry Sam. I know it’s a hassle an’ I know… I-“ Mel mumbled into his shoulder, guilty. “I’m jus’ kinda dreadin’ it now. Feels like gettin’ ready fer church after somethin’ embarrassing happened knowing’ you’ll be getting looks an’ comments an’ maybe even a prayer.”
Lucinda’s hateful judgmental voice rang in his ears and he had to shut his eyes tightly. “….am I- Lucinda says I- that I cause issues for everyone here just by existin’ as me and the kids ain’t said anyth- you’d tell me if that was true? If me gettin’ a hotel room so I wouldn’t wanna rip out my hair and claw out my eyes made trouble? If…..if me bein’ out was a problem?”
Mel looked up at him with a frown. “Mama’s been sayin’ what? ‘Course ya ain’t. The kids don’t mind at all. Hell, I reckon Jeb appreciates not havin’ t’share a bed.” She paused for a moment, considering her next words carefully. “An’ on the other thing, people here are gonna hate our family any chance they get. You bringin’ home yer city boyfriend ain’t gonna change that.”
Sam deflated some. “She…..she hates me and I- I’m scared she’s gonna take that out on you or the kids or- it’s stupid. And she’ll swear it ain’t about that but- she’s always pissed at me about folks whisperin’…I just - I’m scared that the kids aren’t tellin’ me if somethin’s botherin’ them and it’s my fault……yknow?”
“Mama doesn’t-“
But Mel stopped herself cause she wasn’t sure it was true anymore, with the way she’d seen her treat Sam and the arguments she’d overheard.
“It’ll be alright Sam. If I’m here awhile then it won’t be on the kids then, will it? I’m used to it by now. She’s always disappointed in me fer somethin’.” She let out a puff of air. “An’ I reckon things have been alright. The Cabot’s seem spooked from Bobby John’s arrest. Accordin’ to the kiddos it’s been mighty quiet since July.” They all seemed plenty social. It was a relief really.
“That ain’t-“ Sam sighed. “Melody, it ain’t your job to jus’ take it. You shouldn’t hafta be used to it. There shouldn’t be an it to be used to! You deserve better’n that!”
“S’just the way Mama is. It’s how she shows she cares an’ worries. Ain’t no changing it, but I know how to weather it jus’ fine.” Mel said, shaking her head. “I need this Sammy. I’ll be okay. I just- I want some time in my town. Be able to think on things some.”
“You’ll call me? Let me know yer okay?” Sam whispered, holding her face in hands. “I’m gonna miss you. Y’know that?”
He wasn’t trying to guilt her into coming back. He really wasn’t. But he was a chronic worrier, and some things had to be confirmed aloud so he’d be able to stomach leaving without her.
“Course. Everyday if ya want.” She wrapped him back into a hug, squeezing extra tight. “I’ll miss ya too. It’ll only be fer a little while though. Jus’ need to feel ma feet underneath me again.”
“If I don’t get a sign of life by the end of every day, I’m comin’ back down here and raisin’ hell until I find you.” He said softly, barely teasing. They both knew him well enough to know he mostly meant it. “You know I ain’t ever gonna stop you from doin’ what you think best. I’m just gonna worry over you and fuss a bunch when you get back. Stay safe down here, okay?”
“I’ll try my best Sammy. Jus’ like I always do.”
Sam needed to get out of this fucking house. And maybe it was selfish, especially leaving Clint inside with the kids and Lucinda- but he needed to take a moment. He pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek, whispered something about needing a moment outside and then stood to pull on his jacket before leaving.
He wasn’t going far, just far enough away from the house that if he said some derogatory things about his mother that they wouldn’t get back to him. “Fuckin’ bitch actin’ like I’m a fucking degenerate because I brought one more person to feed, and blamin’ me for Paige bringin’ Jono who can’t even eat so how is that a fuckin’ problem- how she gonna act like I’m causin’ some big strain when Jay and I pay most of the bills-“
He froze, seeing Mel standing against the barn. “Mellie- you alright darlin’?”
His sister clutched her phone, telltale wobble in her voice as she spoke to whoever was on the other end. “‘Course ma’am, I understand. It’s been a uh, pleasure workin’ fer ya.” Mel’s eyes widened when she saw Sam, tears gathering. “Uh huh, yeah. I’ll, um, collect my things when I get back an’ sign all that. Bye now.”
She let the phone drop and scrubbed a hand across her face. “I’m- fuck. I was jus’ fired.”
“Shit hon,” Sam sighed, rushing forward a bit to pull her into a hug. “Can I…. Do you need anything?”
“Fuck. I don- I don’t know.” Mel could feel her cheeks getting wet. She was used to this. Lord knew she had been fired one too many times over the years, but it didn’t make it sting any less. “I was workin’ fer that promotion but it went to someone else. She said I weren’t.. reliable enough an’ that they couldn’t keep me on no more.” This summer had been a mess, and going away at Christmas during one of the busiest times had probably been her last strike.
Sam kissed the top of her head and held her close. “Hey, hey- whenever you figure it out you let me know what you need, okay? I’ve got you Mellie, you’ll be okay.”
The thought of going back to Westchester now filled her stomach with a pool of dread. “I-“ Despite all the turmoil, she’d missed being home. Being with the kids and Mama. But that was the last thing Sam wanted to hear.
“Mel, you can tell me.” Sam whispered softly. “Whatever it is I ain’t gonna be mad. Just let me know what I can do.”
“I think I wanna stay here awhile longer Sammy. I jus- I dunno if I can go back jus’ yet.”
True to his word, Sam wasn’t mad. But something in him felt….cracked….it wasn’t quite hurt but it wasn’t not hurt. “Yeah…..uh…..I - I can talk to Jay about riding’ back with me and Clint so you got a car down here and he don’t have to worry about drivin’ back alone….. that’s- yeah.”
“M’sorry Sam. I know it’s a hassle an’ I know… I-“ Mel mumbled into his shoulder, guilty. “I’m jus’ kinda dreadin’ it now. Feels like gettin’ ready fer church after somethin’ embarrassing happened knowing’ you’ll be getting looks an’ comments an’ maybe even a prayer.”
Lucinda’s hateful judgmental voice rang in his ears and he had to shut his eyes tightly. “….am I- Lucinda says I- that I cause issues for everyone here just by existin’ as me and the kids ain’t said anyth- you’d tell me if that was true? If me gettin’ a hotel room so I wouldn’t wanna rip out my hair and claw out my eyes made trouble? If…..if me bein’ out was a problem?”
Mel looked up at him with a frown. “Mama’s been sayin’ what? ‘Course ya ain’t. The kids don’t mind at all. Hell, I reckon Jeb appreciates not havin’ t’share a bed.” She paused for a moment, considering her next words carefully. “An’ on the other thing, people here are gonna hate our family any chance they get. You bringin’ home yer city boyfriend ain’t gonna change that.”
Sam deflated some. “She…..she hates me and I- I’m scared she’s gonna take that out on you or the kids or- it’s stupid. And she’ll swear it ain’t about that but- she’s always pissed at me about folks whisperin’…I just - I’m scared that the kids aren’t tellin’ me if somethin’s botherin’ them and it’s my fault……yknow?”
“Mama doesn’t-“
But Mel stopped herself cause she wasn’t sure it was true anymore, with the way she’d seen her treat Sam and the arguments she’d overheard.
“It’ll be alright Sam. If I’m here awhile then it won’t be on the kids then, will it? I’m used to it by now. She’s always disappointed in me fer somethin’.” She let out a puff of air. “An’ I reckon things have been alright. The Cabot’s seem spooked from Bobby John’s arrest. Accordin’ to the kiddos it’s been mighty quiet since July.” They all seemed plenty social. It was a relief really.
“That ain’t-“ Sam sighed. “Melody, it ain’t your job to jus’ take it. You shouldn’t hafta be used to it. There shouldn’t be an it to be used to! You deserve better’n that!”
“S’just the way Mama is. It’s how she shows she cares an’ worries. Ain’t no changing it, but I know how to weather it jus’ fine.” Mel said, shaking her head. “I need this Sammy. I’ll be okay. I just- I want some time in my town. Be able to think on things some.”
“You’ll call me? Let me know yer okay?” Sam whispered, holding her face in hands. “I’m gonna miss you. Y’know that?”
He wasn’t trying to guilt her into coming back. He really wasn’t. But he was a chronic worrier, and some things had to be confirmed aloud so he’d be able to stomach leaving without her.
“Course. Everyday if ya want.” She wrapped him back into a hug, squeezing extra tight. “I’ll miss ya too. It’ll only be fer a little while though. Jus’ need to feel ma feet underneath me again.”
“If I don’t get a sign of life by the end of every day, I’m comin’ back down here and raisin’ hell until I find you.” He said softly, barely teasing. They both knew him well enough to know he mostly meant it. “You know I ain’t ever gonna stop you from doin’ what you think best. I’m just gonna worry over you and fuss a bunch when you get back. Stay safe down here, okay?”
“I’ll try my best Sammy. Jus’ like I always do.”
