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xp_logsDarcy is awake, but she needs help that only Charles Xavier can provide.
The dark patch slowly receded from the scans and was quickly replaced with a new issue as her powers seemed to rubber band, growing and shrinking with an unsteady rhythm. None of Darcy's methods for directing and controlling her abilities managed anything more than a minor curbing of the flood of electricity and information coursing through her brain and body, somehow worse and more painful than not being able to hear the quiet murmur of the building's tech or the cycling of electricity on Muir.
She alternated between shivering cold and scorching fevers and clung tightly to Kevin's hands and arms through the electrician's gloves she wore to prevent her electricity-based convulsions from being transferred through his form as well. She was too exhausted to talk these days, so the time he spent at her bedside was mostly her listening as he read - fiction, non-fiction, poetry, even just reports and news - or the two of them quietly listening to one of the playlists they both enjoyed.
Darcy had dreamed of times like this, but in those dreams they were usually on a boat, able to enjoy one another's company and just be Kevin and Darcy or Darcy and Nora or both without the baggage and small amount of necessary, professional distance they kept most days. A distance that was all but gone now with how much of her care Kevin had been helping with. She had almost nodded off when the sound of Xavier's chair caught her attention, eyes snapping over to Kevin with worry. The small groan of pain couldn't be swallowed as she carefully shifted to the side, patting the bed in an invitation for Kevin to sit with her.
"Awake is good. I've always been a big fan of that." Kevin's jokes had run dry lately.
She leaned tiredly into his side as she shook with silent laughter, but managed to give Charles a wan smile as he wheeled into the room. 'Professor,' she signed, thinking the word as well. 'I hope you have some good news for us, even if whatever it is isn't a quick solution.' Her signs were a little sloppier than normal, a combination of the exhaustion and the fine motor control she was having issues with, but it was... legible. At least when combined with her efforts to speak telepathically, although with the way her power was cycling between peak and crash she had a feeling her mental 'voice' was probably alternating between faint whispers and shouting.
Her hand curled into Kevin's, squeezing as tightly as she could manage as her face turned to his. 'It'll be okay, she mouthed, giving him the most encouraging smile she could muster. An odd reversal of their usual roles, with Darcy trying to offer comfort and reassurance to the man that had become her best friend.
"I wish I had better news," Charles said with the soft, kindly smile so many associated him with. "Darcy, your powers are out of control and as a result, they are causing regular micro-seizures. Moira has looked at inhibitors but it is her opinion that they would cause a catastrophic physical backlash, since so many of your bodily functions are tied to your powers. I'm sorry, but it isn't safe for you to be awake longer than absolutely necessary. I can give you some time on the astral plane to say goodbye, but until we can regulate your powers, unless you say no, a psychic coma is the only option."
"Wait, are you fucking kidding me? She was fine a couple of weeks ago. How does it go worse while in the best medical facility in the world?" Kevin said, starting up.
Darcy nodded at the news, less surprised than her friend was. But then, it was her own body and mind, and as much as she joked about his ability to know what she needed before she did... well. Hope blinded them all at times. 'How long?' she asked, burrowing into Kevin's side. It wasn't... good news, exactly, but it was a solution to her pain and exhaustion, at least for now. Hopefully only as long as necessary for her powers to either regulate themselves or for something usable to be invented. 'It's okay. The fluctuations... I'm so tired, Professor. Getting to have any peace is.. Well. I'm very grateful. Thank you.' Her smile widened genuinely for a few moments before she took a shaky breath and pressed her face into the soft fabric of Kevin's shirt, hot tears soaking into the material as the enormity of the situation hit.
It wasn't the first time Kevin had seen or heard her cry, and he'd seen worse while she'd been here, gently scooping her up and moving her around once it'd been deemed safe enough to allow. Her rock and comfort as he'd been so many times since they met. Mentor, friend, a chosen member of her family, liked or loved by the rest of her family as well. She was even more grateful now for the trip they'd taken to her home this summer. That she'd been able to see her family a last time - well, last for now - and that she'd been able to introduce her gran to him and watch the two of them get along like a house on fire.
Darcy was sorry she might not get to see gran again. That things might be too unsure to have them visit or give more than vague updates. That she wouldn't be able to hug Inez and Maya a last time before Charles had to put her under. That she couldn't give Stacy a thank-you for taking the chance on her. But she was so grateful she'd at least be able to talk to Kevin, that she wouldn't have to leave all the things she hadn't said for him to read in a letter after. Grateful to have his hand to hold through this whole very scary thing.
She fished a handkerchief free and dabbed at her eyes as she straightened up just enough to look at Charles again. "I'm ready when Kevin is, Professor." Her throat was clogged and scratchy, voice croaky as she pushed the words out.
"Kevin?" Charles said, his even gaze quashing the sudden anger. Life wasn't fair, and the fact that he'd sent Darcy into this didn't get a free pass. Kevin took a deep breath and nodded. "You'll have time to talk - time operates differently, but once the bridge is terminated, it won't be safe to disturb the psionic coma until we can solve Ms. Lewis' powers issues. And, I assure you, we will find a solution." His rich voice conveyed a confidence that he truly felt.
"Now, close your eyes and think of... something shared."
There was a slightly blurry moment before it was just the two of them, sitting on the deck of a 14 footer under the summer sun on the Chesapeake.
Darcy grinned up at him from under a wide-brimmed sun hat, eyes almost the same blue-green color as the water around them. "I'm not surprised this is where we ended up, you know? We've had some of our best or most significant moments on boats. It could've just as easily been your room or the mansion's lounge." She shifted next to Kevin, tossing her hat into the space behind them while slipping her arms around him in a tight hug. "I don't blame you. You didn't ask me to do anything I shouldn't have been able to handle. You didn't. Please stop beating yourself up over this, Darling. If I hadn't kept digging into the files... I was controlling it fine until then. I just pushed too far. Ignored the signs of my exhaustion. That's not on you, my dearest."
She leaned into his side, unwilling to withhold her affection on the astral plane. "I apologize for that. For putting you in this position. But thank you so much for being here, Kevin. You've been at my side or back since you started training me, and I..." Her voice wobbled, arms tightening around him. "I am so, so grateful that you took me under your wing. That you made sure I really understood the work. For supporting me after Baltimore and then again after Laurie, so many times where you weren't afraid to call me on my shit or lift me to even greater heights. Having you as a mentor and then a friend... it's been so invaluable to me, and I..." Darcy took a deep breath and slid her hands into his. "Look at me, Kevin."
"You know I couldn't ever be what you really wanted. I think I was honest about that." Kevin said. His gaze hardened. "If you did this to yourself because of me I-" He cut himself off.
"Oh Darling, no," she breathed out as she squeezed his hands. "I would never, ever do that to you, Kevin. I've loved you for a while. It snuck up on me, shifting from respect to friendship, admiration... eventually it became love, but I was already so happy with what we did have. The partnership. Our friendship. I knew you didn't think you could give more so what would saying anything have done? I didn't think I could bear it if I fucked up the beautiful thing we already had with sex. Spending time together, the dinners, teaching me how to sail, listening to jazz together while we read? That was so much better than asking you for a tumble on a lonely night." Darcy's lips quirked up at the corners. "I have no doubt that between you and Nora I would've been ruined for other lovers, but what we already had was too precious for me to risk. And now... there's nothing you need to do about it, but I don't want to leave things between us unsaid. Just in case." Her fingers rubbed along his knuckles with soothing strokes. "You're too important to me to leave things unsaid. Even if my feelings for you were more familial or strictly platonic I wouldn't want to leave things between us unsaid. You've stuck with me through so much shit and you deserve the truth from me. Always."
"You know, the person going into the coma with an uncertain future isn't supposed to be the one reassuring people." He said wryly. "You were a good student, you were a hell of an asset, and you are very important to me as a friend. Don't think I'm not going to pull every string and call in every favour I've got to find a solution to this. And when I do find a solution-" He stressed, cutting her off for a moment. "You are going to have a whole lifetime of opportunities ahead of you. All I ask is that you occasionally give an old man a call once and awhile; find time for a drink when you're in town."
Darcy laughed, the sound wet with her tears. "Did you ever think I would do anything else, Boss? You know me far too well to have expected what? Anger? Devastation? I couldn't..." Her fingers laced through his. "I know you'll do everything you can. I'm even going to suggest you contact Forge once the Professor puts me under. Maya will help you. But just in case... if this is the last time we can be together? I want you to have a good memory. I want to have a good memory too. I love you and you're my best friend who isn't also my chosen little sister. Which... speaking of. Please offer Maya and Inez hugs from me. Anyone who wants one, really. Tell Stacy thank you since I won't be able to. There–" her voice broke, and she looked down and off to the side for a minute, breathing slowly until she had herself back under control. "There's a safe in my room. It needs my fingerprint, which you won't have trouble with, and a pin. It's 7-3-5-8. Inside there are letters and other things... please give them to the people they're for."
She gulped down a large breath, then stood slowly and wedged herself between his knees, smiling when the boat barely rocked. "Dance with me one more time for the road, old man? I need something good to dream about while you're out there forcing miracles into existence."
"I swear I'm going to tell Haller we used his dad as a jukebox." Kevin said, compartmentalizing as always, making sure her last moments for now were to a smile, a chuckle, and a gleam in his eye. He closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again as Louis Armstrong's trumpet called out in the background before Ella Fitzgerald's voice rolled over them both like thunder. He took her hands in a classic stance, swinging her easily into a simple step.
"The way you wear your hat. The way you sip your tea. The memory of all that. No, no, they can't take that away from me."
"Oh, please do. And then tell him to offer the other Kevin my room once most of my personal effects are out. Guy deserves somewhere safe to sleep that isn't as clinical-feeling as The Box, and my room's got that quality." She followed her Kevin's lead as easily as she always had on the dance floor, singing along softly to the lyrics while she stared up at him. ♪ The way you changed my life. No, no, they can't take that away from me. ♪
They danced through Ella and Louis, shifted into some Sinatra, and by the time Julie London started to sing Darcy was just swaying with him in time to the music, a long hug of parting as she drew the last of their time together out. ♪ In this world of overrated pleasures and underrated treasures, I'm glad there is you. ♪ Her eyes stayed firmly on his as she sang along, all of her walls down for this long goodbye. "Please take care of yourself while I can't, Darling. Okay? Don't make me have to bust out of a psionic coma to scold you for taking unnecessary risks."
"You know me. Safe as houses." He paused, nodding to her. "This is not the end. We will meet again." He said firmly.
"In this world or the next," Darcy agreed easily, still swaying as the song shifted one last time. She didn't sing along to this one, instead choosing to press her face into his chest. Tears continued to soak his shirt as they moved in a slow circle, and as scared as Darcy was of what came next, she was eternally grateful that she'd be doing it with Kevin at her side. His scent wrapped around her and the warmth of his arms holding her close and always, always protecting her.
She spoke again as the song hit a crescendo, his name almost a whisper. "Kevin? I'm scared. But-" Darcy looked up at him, slipping her hand into his and gripping it as tightly as she could. "It would be terrifying without you here. You're a good man, Kevin Sydney, and I am so, so very lucky to have you in my life and in my corner." The words gained volume and fierceness as she spoke, full of the love and respect and admiration she had for the man who'd changed her life. For better, for worse... they could quibble about which one more than the other, but that he'd been instrumental in the change was simple fact.
They spun together a few last times as the song faded to a close and ended in a tight hug that mirrored the first one she'd given him so long ago in Baltimore.
♪ I'd wanna hold you just for a while and die with a smile
If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you ♪
"Professor? I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
The dark patch slowly receded from the scans and was quickly replaced with a new issue as her powers seemed to rubber band, growing and shrinking with an unsteady rhythm. None of Darcy's methods for directing and controlling her abilities managed anything more than a minor curbing of the flood of electricity and information coursing through her brain and body, somehow worse and more painful than not being able to hear the quiet murmur of the building's tech or the cycling of electricity on Muir.
She alternated between shivering cold and scorching fevers and clung tightly to Kevin's hands and arms through the electrician's gloves she wore to prevent her electricity-based convulsions from being transferred through his form as well. She was too exhausted to talk these days, so the time he spent at her bedside was mostly her listening as he read - fiction, non-fiction, poetry, even just reports and news - or the two of them quietly listening to one of the playlists they both enjoyed.
Darcy had dreamed of times like this, but in those dreams they were usually on a boat, able to enjoy one another's company and just be Kevin and Darcy or Darcy and Nora or both without the baggage and small amount of necessary, professional distance they kept most days. A distance that was all but gone now with how much of her care Kevin had been helping with. She had almost nodded off when the sound of Xavier's chair caught her attention, eyes snapping over to Kevin with worry. The small groan of pain couldn't be swallowed as she carefully shifted to the side, patting the bed in an invitation for Kevin to sit with her.
"Awake is good. I've always been a big fan of that." Kevin's jokes had run dry lately.
She leaned tiredly into his side as she shook with silent laughter, but managed to give Charles a wan smile as he wheeled into the room. 'Professor,' she signed, thinking the word as well. 'I hope you have some good news for us, even if whatever it is isn't a quick solution.' Her signs were a little sloppier than normal, a combination of the exhaustion and the fine motor control she was having issues with, but it was... legible. At least when combined with her efforts to speak telepathically, although with the way her power was cycling between peak and crash she had a feeling her mental 'voice' was probably alternating between faint whispers and shouting.
Her hand curled into Kevin's, squeezing as tightly as she could manage as her face turned to his. 'It'll be okay, she mouthed, giving him the most encouraging smile she could muster. An odd reversal of their usual roles, with Darcy trying to offer comfort and reassurance to the man that had become her best friend.
"I wish I had better news," Charles said with the soft, kindly smile so many associated him with. "Darcy, your powers are out of control and as a result, they are causing regular micro-seizures. Moira has looked at inhibitors but it is her opinion that they would cause a catastrophic physical backlash, since so many of your bodily functions are tied to your powers. I'm sorry, but it isn't safe for you to be awake longer than absolutely necessary. I can give you some time on the astral plane to say goodbye, but until we can regulate your powers, unless you say no, a psychic coma is the only option."
"Wait, are you fucking kidding me? She was fine a couple of weeks ago. How does it go worse while in the best medical facility in the world?" Kevin said, starting up.
Darcy nodded at the news, less surprised than her friend was. But then, it was her own body and mind, and as much as she joked about his ability to know what she needed before she did... well. Hope blinded them all at times. 'How long?' she asked, burrowing into Kevin's side. It wasn't... good news, exactly, but it was a solution to her pain and exhaustion, at least for now. Hopefully only as long as necessary for her powers to either regulate themselves or for something usable to be invented. 'It's okay. The fluctuations... I'm so tired, Professor. Getting to have any peace is.. Well. I'm very grateful. Thank you.' Her smile widened genuinely for a few moments before she took a shaky breath and pressed her face into the soft fabric of Kevin's shirt, hot tears soaking into the material as the enormity of the situation hit.
It wasn't the first time Kevin had seen or heard her cry, and he'd seen worse while she'd been here, gently scooping her up and moving her around once it'd been deemed safe enough to allow. Her rock and comfort as he'd been so many times since they met. Mentor, friend, a chosen member of her family, liked or loved by the rest of her family as well. She was even more grateful now for the trip they'd taken to her home this summer. That she'd been able to see her family a last time - well, last for now - and that she'd been able to introduce her gran to him and watch the two of them get along like a house on fire.
Darcy was sorry she might not get to see gran again. That things might be too unsure to have them visit or give more than vague updates. That she wouldn't be able to hug Inez and Maya a last time before Charles had to put her under. That she couldn't give Stacy a thank-you for taking the chance on her. But she was so grateful she'd at least be able to talk to Kevin, that she wouldn't have to leave all the things she hadn't said for him to read in a letter after. Grateful to have his hand to hold through this whole very scary thing.
She fished a handkerchief free and dabbed at her eyes as she straightened up just enough to look at Charles again. "I'm ready when Kevin is, Professor." Her throat was clogged and scratchy, voice croaky as she pushed the words out.
"Kevin?" Charles said, his even gaze quashing the sudden anger. Life wasn't fair, and the fact that he'd sent Darcy into this didn't get a free pass. Kevin took a deep breath and nodded. "You'll have time to talk - time operates differently, but once the bridge is terminated, it won't be safe to disturb the psionic coma until we can solve Ms. Lewis' powers issues. And, I assure you, we will find a solution." His rich voice conveyed a confidence that he truly felt.
"Now, close your eyes and think of... something shared."
There was a slightly blurry moment before it was just the two of them, sitting on the deck of a 14 footer under the summer sun on the Chesapeake.
Darcy grinned up at him from under a wide-brimmed sun hat, eyes almost the same blue-green color as the water around them. "I'm not surprised this is where we ended up, you know? We've had some of our best or most significant moments on boats. It could've just as easily been your room or the mansion's lounge." She shifted next to Kevin, tossing her hat into the space behind them while slipping her arms around him in a tight hug. "I don't blame you. You didn't ask me to do anything I shouldn't have been able to handle. You didn't. Please stop beating yourself up over this, Darling. If I hadn't kept digging into the files... I was controlling it fine until then. I just pushed too far. Ignored the signs of my exhaustion. That's not on you, my dearest."
She leaned into his side, unwilling to withhold her affection on the astral plane. "I apologize for that. For putting you in this position. But thank you so much for being here, Kevin. You've been at my side or back since you started training me, and I..." Her voice wobbled, arms tightening around him. "I am so, so grateful that you took me under your wing. That you made sure I really understood the work. For supporting me after Baltimore and then again after Laurie, so many times where you weren't afraid to call me on my shit or lift me to even greater heights. Having you as a mentor and then a friend... it's been so invaluable to me, and I..." Darcy took a deep breath and slid her hands into his. "Look at me, Kevin."
"You know I couldn't ever be what you really wanted. I think I was honest about that." Kevin said. His gaze hardened. "If you did this to yourself because of me I-" He cut himself off.
"Oh Darling, no," she breathed out as she squeezed his hands. "I would never, ever do that to you, Kevin. I've loved you for a while. It snuck up on me, shifting from respect to friendship, admiration... eventually it became love, but I was already so happy with what we did have. The partnership. Our friendship. I knew you didn't think you could give more so what would saying anything have done? I didn't think I could bear it if I fucked up the beautiful thing we already had with sex. Spending time together, the dinners, teaching me how to sail, listening to jazz together while we read? That was so much better than asking you for a tumble on a lonely night." Darcy's lips quirked up at the corners. "I have no doubt that between you and Nora I would've been ruined for other lovers, but what we already had was too precious for me to risk. And now... there's nothing you need to do about it, but I don't want to leave things between us unsaid. Just in case." Her fingers rubbed along his knuckles with soothing strokes. "You're too important to me to leave things unsaid. Even if my feelings for you were more familial or strictly platonic I wouldn't want to leave things between us unsaid. You've stuck with me through so much shit and you deserve the truth from me. Always."
"You know, the person going into the coma with an uncertain future isn't supposed to be the one reassuring people." He said wryly. "You were a good student, you were a hell of an asset, and you are very important to me as a friend. Don't think I'm not going to pull every string and call in every favour I've got to find a solution to this. And when I do find a solution-" He stressed, cutting her off for a moment. "You are going to have a whole lifetime of opportunities ahead of you. All I ask is that you occasionally give an old man a call once and awhile; find time for a drink when you're in town."
Darcy laughed, the sound wet with her tears. "Did you ever think I would do anything else, Boss? You know me far too well to have expected what? Anger? Devastation? I couldn't..." Her fingers laced through his. "I know you'll do everything you can. I'm even going to suggest you contact Forge once the Professor puts me under. Maya will help you. But just in case... if this is the last time we can be together? I want you to have a good memory. I want to have a good memory too. I love you and you're my best friend who isn't also my chosen little sister. Which... speaking of. Please offer Maya and Inez hugs from me. Anyone who wants one, really. Tell Stacy thank you since I won't be able to. There–" her voice broke, and she looked down and off to the side for a minute, breathing slowly until she had herself back under control. "There's a safe in my room. It needs my fingerprint, which you won't have trouble with, and a pin. It's 7-3-5-8. Inside there are letters and other things... please give them to the people they're for."
She gulped down a large breath, then stood slowly and wedged herself between his knees, smiling when the boat barely rocked. "Dance with me one more time for the road, old man? I need something good to dream about while you're out there forcing miracles into existence."
"I swear I'm going to tell Haller we used his dad as a jukebox." Kevin said, compartmentalizing as always, making sure her last moments for now were to a smile, a chuckle, and a gleam in his eye. He closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again as Louis Armstrong's trumpet called out in the background before Ella Fitzgerald's voice rolled over them both like thunder. He took her hands in a classic stance, swinging her easily into a simple step.
"The way you wear your hat. The way you sip your tea. The memory of all that. No, no, they can't take that away from me."
"Oh, please do. And then tell him to offer the other Kevin my room once most of my personal effects are out. Guy deserves somewhere safe to sleep that isn't as clinical-feeling as The Box, and my room's got that quality." She followed her Kevin's lead as easily as she always had on the dance floor, singing along softly to the lyrics while she stared up at him. ♪ The way you changed my life. No, no, they can't take that away from me. ♪
They danced through Ella and Louis, shifted into some Sinatra, and by the time Julie London started to sing Darcy was just swaying with him in time to the music, a long hug of parting as she drew the last of their time together out. ♪ In this world of overrated pleasures and underrated treasures, I'm glad there is you. ♪ Her eyes stayed firmly on his as she sang along, all of her walls down for this long goodbye. "Please take care of yourself while I can't, Darling. Okay? Don't make me have to bust out of a psionic coma to scold you for taking unnecessary risks."
"You know me. Safe as houses." He paused, nodding to her. "This is not the end. We will meet again." He said firmly.
"In this world or the next," Darcy agreed easily, still swaying as the song shifted one last time. She didn't sing along to this one, instead choosing to press her face into his chest. Tears continued to soak his shirt as they moved in a slow circle, and as scared as Darcy was of what came next, she was eternally grateful that she'd be doing it with Kevin at her side. His scent wrapped around her and the warmth of his arms holding her close and always, always protecting her.
She spoke again as the song hit a crescendo, his name almost a whisper. "Kevin? I'm scared. But-" Darcy looked up at him, slipping her hand into his and gripping it as tightly as she could. "It would be terrifying without you here. You're a good man, Kevin Sydney, and I am so, so very lucky to have you in my life and in my corner." The words gained volume and fierceness as she spoke, full of the love and respect and admiration she had for the man who'd changed her life. For better, for worse... they could quibble about which one more than the other, but that he'd been instrumental in the change was simple fact.
They spun together a few last times as the song faded to a close and ended in a tight hug that mirrored the first one she'd given him so long ago in Baltimore.
♪ I'd wanna hold you just for a while and die with a smile
If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you ♪
"Professor? I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
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Date: 2025-02-19 07:52 am (UTC)