xp_logs | Nathan, Marie-Ange, Doug, Tuesday afternoon in the music room

Backdated to Tuesday afternoon. Nathan finds Angie to thank her for the suggestion of having some sort of memorial for his team from Mistra and manages to 'interrupt' her and Doug. He answers a couple of questions for them, which leads to a discussion about being safe, being used, and not torturing yourself with what could happen - a complicated proposition for a precognitive.

It had been a moderately strenuous bit of telepathic exercise, tracking Angie down - Charles was getting increasingly firm about regular practice, now that the last lingering effects of his concussion had faded - but despite that, Nathan was feeling both cheerful and surprisingly energetic as he hobbled down the hall towards the music room. Odd that he wasn't hearing any sounds of practicing. He had definitely sensed Doug's presence in there with her...

A slow grin spread across his face as he reached the half-closed door. He cleared his throat as he pushed it open, and it took quite a bit of self-control to repress a snicker as he saw Angie and Doug in the unmistakable posture of two people who had just sprung away from each other. "Hi," he said merrily, leaning against the doorframe. "I could, uh, wear a bell?"

Doug attempted to rein in his breathing, as well as his libido. This was why it was good to have a place where people weren't randomly walking in on private moments. For one, it helped cut down on heart attacks and embarassment levels. For another, it allowed much more freedom in what could be done. Doug smiled to himself as he remembered the events of the night before, after he and Marie-Ange had exchanged emails and sorted things out.

Marie-Ange stopped a embarassed giggle just before it got out, and looked away from Doug before she did something silly, like blush. She hoped she wasn't blushing, anyway. "If you want one.. " she gestured behind her at a cabinet labeled "Small instruments" and grinned. "We have extra."

Nathan raised an eyebrow, grinning. "Wouldn't that just look cute," he said, moving forward into the room, making a beeline for the nearest chair. He was glad to see both Doug and Angie relaxing again, although Doug was looking a little red around the ears. "A big cowbell, maybe." He lowered himself into the chair, his grin softening into a warm smile. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

Doug attempted to squash down his embarassment level, and cleared his throat slightly. "Were you looking for one of us, Nathan?" he asked politely. Left unsaid was a bit of an implication that if he'd simply searched them out for idle chatter, Doug was going to be a little miffed.

"Your lovely and insightful girlfriend, actually," Nathan said, his mouth twitching at the unspoken message.

Doug nodded. "Ah." He backed up his cranky internal thoughts a bit. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy talking to Nathan, just that he had been enjoying exploring the newfound physical dimension of his relationship with Marie-Ange. And anything interrupting those explorations wasn't high on the list of things Doug wanted at the moment.

Marie-Ange smiled at the compliment from Nathan, though she was a little confused as to the reason. She did not -think- she had been all that insightful in the last day or so. "I am a little confused, but.. thank you? I think?"

"No," Nathan corrected her, still smiling. "Thank you. For making me think about making that post yesterday, and for suggesting some kind of memorial." He felt his expression turn a little wistful. "I really don't know why I never thought of that before. Too busy being angry, probably."

Not entirely at all sure what to say, Marie-Ange dug the side of her foot into the floor and smiled, faintly embarassed. Finally, after some thought, she smiled back. "It seemed like the right thing to do, and .. that it might help. I am glad it did," she said, quietly.

"Even just writing it all down helped," Nathan told her. "Such a simple thing..." He thought about the dreams he'd had last night and couldn't help smiling again. "I just really appreciated the inspiration, and the support," he said, focusing on Angie again. "I wanted to make sure I told you that."

Ducking her head, Marie-Ange blushed and stammered out a quiet "Thank you.", then looked around nervously. "Um. I.. am glad it helped. But I said that already.." She said, all her normal confidence and fluency gone. She had helped Nathan. That was going to take some getting used to.

Doug grinned and put a supportive arm around Marie-Ange, quietly letting her know without words how proud he was of her for helping Nathan. He smiled across at Nathan.

"Once I figure out what I'm going to do for a memorial, I really would be happy to have you there," Nathan said, then looked at Doug. "Both of you, of course, if you want."

Doug nodded seriously. "I'd be honored to be there, if you're sure." He'd gotten a sense from Nathan's post what these people had meant to Nathan, and how important this idea of a memorial was to him.

"They would have liked that, I think," Nathan said quietly. "To know that all of these young people who got opportunities and choices they never did were remembering them." He smiled again, a bit wryly this time. "I probably raised more questions that I strictly intended with that post."

Marie-Ange nodded. "Some, I think. I .. am curious, but I do not want to ask unless.." she paused, trying to figure out the right words to express "Unless you are okay with it" to someone she considered almost a mentor. To a peer, it was easy. To someone like Nathan... "Unless you think it would be appropriate."

"If you were curious..." Nathan paused for a moment, then nodded, smiling a little more naturally again. "I think I could answer them today, yes. Can't speak for tomorrow, mind you."

"I am just.. I think, a little confused? There were people our age that you worked with?" Marie-Ange asked cautiously. "Or just people younger than you?"

"Well..." Nathan paused, trying to organize the succinct version in his head, the one that didn't involve getting into all the really horrific detail. "We were all very young, when we started," he said, very aware of the weight of Angie and Doug's eyes. "We were either orphans, or kids who were in the care of the state for other reasons. Me, I was a runaway." He made a helpless little gesture, realizing he wasn't prepared to elaborate on that, and went on. "Once we were identified as mutants, we were taken and put in training - military training, that involved empathic and telepathic conditioning. That's what I meant when I said we really didn't have any choice in the matter."

The shock on Marie-Ange's face was beyond obvious. She stood, blinking in horrified fascination at Nathan, unable to respond. The idea of a government using people - any people, but especially mutants, in that way was terrifying to her. She shook her head slowly, and tried to think - to put into words the gut reaction of disgust that she felt.

"They put me into active service when I was sixteen," Nathan went on. "Before then it was just the conditioning and the training." He laughed softly, a sound without much humor. "So now the two of you know why I react like I do when some of your classmates start bitching about this place."

Doug nodded, thinking specifically of a few remarks by some of the students. He placed a hand quietly on Marie-Ange's, squeezing it supportively. He could tell that Nathan's story was disturbing her, but he wasn't entirely sure of anything he could say to make it better, so he settled for quiet support.

"It's not all that uncommon, Angie," Nathan said, sensing how upset she was and wondering if he maybe shouldn't have invited her to ask questions. "That sort of program, I mean. Mutants can make very...valuable weapons. And children are more malleable than adults." And you are not helping, idiot...

"Then.. we are at risk?" Marie-Ange finally asked, in nearly a whisper. "I am so tired of not feeling safe, not at home, not here, not anywhere. How can anyone think to do such a thing? How .. can they train children to be weapons? To kill?' She balled up her hands into fists, and grimaced. "People do not let their expensive toys go away easily," she said, with a tense shake of her head. "How can .. how can people just turn children into .. things? Into weapons just to be used and thrown away when they break?"

Doug shivered at the thought of any of his friends being forced to serve against their will. It wasn't even a fate he'd wish on Manuel or Sarah.

Brushing off the vague uneasiness Angie's comment about 'expensive toys' had provoked, Nathan studied the two of them, the part of him that was fretting at having upset them warring with the more cynical part of him that said it was maybe good they were hearing this, understanding a little more about the big bad world that was out there. "It's the other side of the coin," he said quietly. "Heads, you have the Professor's ideal of helping mutants make their own choices in life. Tails, you have people like my former employers seeing us as things to be used."

Doug grimaced. "Or the Friends of Humanity, who don't even see anything useful in mutants at _all_." He shook his head in distaste.

"I may be oversimplifying just a little," Nathan agreed dryly. "But look, guys, don't get... too upset about this, okay? Mi--experiences like mine are not the norm, thankfully."

"That is, I think easier said than done." Marie-Ange said, after a few moments of silence. "It seems like, sometimes, everyone is out to use us, or kill us, or just try to make our lives miserable in some way."

Nathan smiled a bit ruefully. "What did I tell you about what-ifs, Angie?"

"I thought that was for things we had already done, not things that might happen." Marie-Ange frowned. "Because for things that might happen, I think I have a problem not thinking 'What if.'. I have this mutant power..." she said, scowling.

"And because you have that mutant power, you have to be even more careful about not getting obsessed with the possibilities," Nathan said evenly. "If you do that, then you have trouble making any sort of a decision."

Doug pulled one of Marie-Ange's hands into his lap and slowly slid his thumb across the back of it. He got the feeling that this conversation was more between Marie-Ange and Nathan, and that he was kind of an adjunct to it. Besides, he couldn't think of all that much coherent to say at the moment. Being Jamie's roommate, he still wanted to believe the best of people, but he had seen first-hand some of the things that people could do to each other. It was saddening.

Marie-Ange frowned. "How am I supposed to tell? If I do not worry about it, then Angelo gets burnt, or Manuel dies, or Doug gets shot! I try not to obsess. I do not think I -do- on most days. I just worry that sometimes it is not enough."

Doug's eyes widened in shock and his hand tightened reflexively around Marie-Ange's at the intimation that Marie-Ange had had a precognitive dream about him getting shot. He had talked with her about it before, but it still came as a shock to him how bluntly she spoke of it.

"You do what you can, when you can," Nathan said. "But your life, your here and now, matters just as much, Angie. All I'm saying is don't forget that."

Marie-Ange arched an eyebrow. "I do not think I will. And if I did forget, I think I would be reminded fairly quickly.." She glanced at Doug, and blushed just a little. "Or distracted from it, at the least."

Doug grinned playfully through a slight blush of his own. "Absolutely," he responded, squeezing Marie-Ange's hand in his.

Nathan laughed softly, pulling himself up out of the chair. "On that note," he said, a bit teasingly. "I should go and leave you to your, ahem, practicing. I just wanted to make sure that I thanked you in person, Angie."

"You are welcome.." Marie-Ange said, shyly. "I am glad I could help." She still was not entirely sure what to say about something that was -this- important to Nathan. Simple polite responses seemed inadequate, but everything she could think of to say seemed trite, or dismissive of herself, and she did not want that.

Nathan hobbled over to the door, pausing to shoot an amused look back over his shoulder at the two of them. "I think this is where I say 'As you were'," he said, and managed to get out to the hall before the snicker at their near-identical blush escaped.