xp_logs | Muir Island, Friday afternoon/evening - Nathan and Amanda, Nathan and Manuel

Friday afternoon. After she and Manuel arrive on Muir, Nathan steals Amanda away to show her some of the island. They have a fairly relaxed conversation about some fairly serious subjects (making time to deal with the problems that need solving, finding a place you can call home, and Manuel).

"Perfect weather," Nathan said dreamily, stopping to take a look around as he and Amanda came out the main doors of the castle. "Cool and clear - if I had to pick the sort of weather to have all year round, this would be it." He looked down at her, smiling. "So you ready for the not-quite-so-grand tour?"

"We got lucky - Scotland only has three clear days a year," Amanda said with a chuckle. She looked happier and more relaxed than Nathan could ever remember her looking, dressed in the usual jeans and t-shirt but with a grey 'Xavier's' sweatshirt tied around her waist by the sleeves in case it got chilly later. "An' I'm ready when you are, old man - you sure yer leg's up for this?"

"Hey, it handled the stairs on Santorini," Nathan said. "Anything Moira tells you about me whining and complaining is, of course, an exaggeration." He grinned, starting down towards the cliff path. He wanted to show Amanda the ruins of the old manor, especially. "You didn't comment on my tan," he said with a mock-pout. "I'm hurt."

"Only 'cause I was stunned by how manly an' handsome you look with it," she replied with a mischievous grin. "Consider yerself commented on. Santorini did you both good, by the looks. Yer both got that 'I just had a holiday somewhere nice' glow."

"Santorini was beyond nice, actually. Probably the second most beautiful island I've ever seen," he said with a chuckle, then grew more serious. "It was good for us," he said. "Gave us the time and space to talk through some things. Particularly the hard stuff that's gotten pushed to the side lately."

"Because yer so good at that pushin' stuff t' the side thing," teased Aamnda, but there was an understanding look in her face, echoed by her thoughts. She realised she was walking too fast for him and slowed until she was beside him. "Sounds like you needed the time away from the madhouse t' work shite out. Things have moved so fast..." She could have been referring to any of them.

"I'm beginning to think that's the way it's always going to be around the mansion," Nathan said thoughtfully. "Well," he amended dryly, "I am hoping that there aren't going to be any more months where I'm in the medlab every second day. But in terms of stuff slowing down..." He shook his head slowly. "Don't think it's going to happen. Which probably means that when you've got crap to deal with, you need to make time to do it." He fell silent, thinking of the promise Moira had extracted from him before leaving Santorini.

"Not that I mind healin' you, but no more medlab visits would be good. If only so I don't get another bollockin' from Rom." Amanda wrinkled her nose. Then she glanced up at him. "You got yer serious face on. Somethin' up?"

Nathan wondered briefly why he hadn't had a bollocking-via-email from Romany on the subject, but pushed the thought aside, before he could turn it into an excuse for another guilt-trip on the subject. "Nothing serious," he said, answering Amanda's question. "I just promised Moira I'd start seeing someone on a regular basis after we get home."

"'Someone'? Well, since Moira an' you ain't the type t' share, I'm guessin' she ain't encouragin' you t' go out an' have yerself some on the side. You mean a shrink?" At his reluctant nod, she chuckled and punched him lightly in the arm, careful not to hurt him. "You an' the rest of us. All the coolest people are seein' Samson." She laughed some more, remembering the ridiculous toasts she and Manuel had been making in the pub. "I'm guessin' you won't be doin' that in-house? Samson deals with us kids, mostly."

Nathan nearly choked on a laugh. "I can see Leonard running the other way just at the idea, I really can... but yeah, it wouldn't be him. Or Charles. Moira thinks someone who specializes in war vets would be a better idea." He grinned at how serious she looked suddenly. "We can swap stories, you and I. That would be fun, wouldn't it?"

"Or result in a huge black hole of angst that engulfs all of New York an' depresses the fuck out of everyone it touches," she replied with a flash of humour. "Which could be considered fun, I s'pose." Then she sobered and the serious look returned. "But... war vets? You lookin' at the stuff with that place I ain't supposed t' know about? The conditionin'?"

Nathan nodded. "It's not just the conditioning," he said frankly. "I can't blame it for everything. Moira's been pointing out that the stuff I've done to myself over the years, trying to cope with it, has probably been just as bad for me." He paused, sighed. "There's other stuff, too," he confessed quietly. "Long past time that I admitted it's not going to fix itself." Nathan felt his mouth tug upwards in a wry smile as he looked down at her. "Better late than never, though, right?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding, the slight frown of concern not leaving her face entirely. But, as people had been reminding her, some more forcefully than others, she couldn't fix everything. And Nate was the grown-up here. They walked in silence for a bit longer, enjoying the quiet. Nate had been right about this place, the peace of it. It had a wildness too, in the cliffs and the rocks and the foaming sea surrounding them, that struck a chord with Amanda. "'S nice, out here," she ventured at last.

"It is," Nathan said softly. "I'm so glad you're here. I really wanted you to see it." He smiled again, more naturally. "I feel like I've brought Muir with me in a way, every time I've left it. It's my touchstone, I suppose you could say."

"'S a good one t' have. I can't explain it, but it feels... solid. Real. All this place's energy is focused on nurturin' the people that care for it." Amanda realised what she was saying and looked a little embarrassed. "Fuck, here's me goin' all hippy on you. I've been hangin' 'round Homily an' her people too much."

"It would explain a lot," Nathan said without batting an eye. "Why coming back here always felt like stepping back into sanity..."

"It likes you," Amanda said simply. "You an' Moira, you belong t' this place." With an effort, Amanda clamped down on her powers - Muir wasn't a mystic site exactly, but it was old enough to have an energy of its own, and obviously she was tuning into it. "You might not be here all the time, but it's a sort of home, I s'pose." Her expression turned a little wistful.

"You're thinking that there's nowhere like this for you," Nathan said. It was odd, but his telepathy seemed more acute on Muir. Always had. He smiled, reaching out and touching her arm gently for a moment. "Took me thirty-odd years to find mine. Don't give up on yours yet."

"I haven't. It'd just be nice, is all. Findin' somewhere that feels right... an' without it bein' some ancient mystic site that'll send me off the deep end after a while like that place in Mexico." She wrinkled her nose. "I mean, I've got people that're startin' t' feel like family to me..." And here she looked up at him with a shy smile. "But it's hard t'settle down in me head, accept they ain't gunna off an' disappear on me. An' the school an' Rom's place're home in a way, but they ain't mine. They're places belongin' t' someone else where I'm welcome."

"T'haeliva, m'haeliva," Nathan said in Askani, reaching and taking her hand for a moment, squeezing it gently. "That's what the brain-sucking parasites say," he said with a wink. "Roughly translated, 'What's mine is yours'." He took a long look around, taking a deep breath. "It's all about making choices, I think. Your place might still be out there somewhere, but this could do, for now, if you want it to." He smiled down at her. "I didn't belong here at first, either, remember?"

She nodded, not quite trusting her voice to answer that properly. Instead she settled for squeezing his hand back before letting go again. "How are they, the brain-suckin' parasites?" she asked, shifting the subject to less emotionally-charged areas... hopefully. "They enjoy yer hols as well?"

"They were awfully quiet, actually," Nathan said with some bemusement, slowing down as he manuevered himself down a steep bit of the path. "I get the sense that they liked Santorini, but they just sort of... sat there. No visitations, no pushing..."

Amanda paused half-way down the path to watch him, not offering help just yet, but ready if he needed it. "Maybe they figured you needed the break?" she suggested. "Wouldn't do t' make their host go bonkers, would it? An' there's this trainin' with Manny comin' up..."

Reaching the bottom of the steep spot, Nathan grinned at her wryly. "Makes sense," he said, eyeing her speculatively. "And you're worried, aren't you? About me helping to train Manuel."

"A bit," she admitted. "I mean, 's good that he's gettin' trainin', fuck knows he needs it, an' you've got some people in there that can help him, but..." Pausing, she spread her hands helplessly. "I'm worried 'bout you. An' him. He likes t' torment you, an' you irritate him, an' I have this vision of the two of you killin' each other before the end of the first session." Her mouth quirked in a wry smile. "I sound like an ungrateful shit, I know, but there it is."

"I'm not going to hurt Manuel," Nathan said levelly. "Ever. Hell, I just about fractured my own skull stopping myself from hurting him the first time, remember? And I doubt the Askani are going to let things get too out of hand. We've already agreed that they'll smack me down if he accidentally hits a trigger or something when we're experimenting." He smiled faintly. "As for Manuel himself... well, I can't promise I won't irritate him, because that's about the only way I can get him to think about some things. But I'll try not to provoke him too much. There is a line - so long as I stay on the right side of it, we should be fine."

"Yeah, well, nearly breakin' yer own head was part of the reason I was worried 'bout you. An' I don't like the sound of the Askani smackin' you down - I've seen that once already, an' I don't want t' see it again." Amanda sighed, shoving her hands into her jeans pockets. "Still, it's the only way, an' it's what I asked Askani for, so I s'pose I'll just have t' shut up an' stop bein' an idiot."

"It could go well," Nathan said, trying to be reassuring. "I mean, he seems motivated. You never know, he might... lap up the learning." He laughed wryly, giving a helpless wave with his free hand. "Look at me and my crazy optimism."

Amanda raised an eyebrow at him but didn't make the smart arse remark she was thinking. "As long as yer all right with it," she settled for, with a shrug and a private note to work on her shielding during their sessions.

"It's the right thing to do," Nathan said, spotting a familiar boulder just ahead. "He needs it, the Askani can't give it to him without me, and... well, that makes everything pretty cut and dried." They reached the boulder and he sat down with a sigh, smiling at her. "Pit stop," he proclaimed cheerfully.

Amanda checked herself before asking if he was all right, and sat next to him on the boulder. "Does it piss you off, bein' cornered into somethin'?" she asked instead, wishing for a cigarette but restraining herself for Nate's sake.

Nathan opened his mouth to brush off the question, but his conscience kicked in and he peered down at her thoughtfully. "Do you want to be reassured that I'm going to be okay with this, or do you want to know how I actually feel?" he asked.

"Reassurance ain't worth shite, Nate. Tell me how you feel," she said, shrugging. "Manny needs the help an' the Askani're willin' t' do it, so it's gunna happen regardless of me bein' worried 'bout you. But I wanna know how you feel 'bout it all."

"Seventeen going on forty," Nathan said dryly, reaching out and putting a very tentative arm around her shoulders. "It is the right thing to do," he said more softly. "I know that, and I mean know it. It's not, however, going to be a very comfortable thing to do. I'm not really looking forward to it."

Amanda nodded, leaning into him a little. "As long as you know if it's too much, you don't have t' keep doin' it. There ain't no point you drivin' yerself bonkers dealin' with Manny."

Nathan chuckled softly. "There's one problem. I don't generally recognize when I hit 'too much'." He grinned down at her ruefully. "And people wonder why the two of us get along so well..."

"'M sure Moira will tell you when yer've had enough," she replied, answering his grin with one of her own. Then she squirmed a little. "Rom was right pissed off with me, y'know. She told me I should've known better an' I was bein' self-destructive again." Feeling his arm around her shoulders tense, she looked up at him. "It ain't yer fault. I should've paid attention t' what me body was tellin' me an' stopped."

Nathan made a face, but this time did suppress the honest reaction. "You're going to be okay," he said quietly. "That's what matters." He tilted his head, staring out at the water. "Do you want your gift tonight," he asked abruptly, "or should I take it back to Westchester with me and give it to you there?"

"Gift?" Amanda was shaken out of her contemplation of Bollockings Past by the thought. "You really expect me t' wait now I know yer've got me somethin'?" she asked, teasing. She couldn't help bouncing a little. "What is it?"

"Moira thought it was weird," Nathan said a bit sheepishly.

The girl grined. "Sounds like my kind of thing, then." Impulsively she snaked her arm around Nate to give him a hug. "See, this is why we get on. 'Cause you don't try an' make me into somethin' I ain't by makin' me wear dresses an' tellin' me I don't look like a girl."

"I think you've got quite enough on your hands deciding who you want to be, without people adding their two cents worth as to what they think you should be," Nathan said, unable to help a hesitant, pleased smile as he gingerly hugged her back. "And it's, um, a bowl."

"Too fuckin' right," she said. Then she tilted her head at him. "Bowl? Somethin' artefact-y, is it?"

"It's just little," Nathan said. "I found it in this antique shop in Fira." He shrugged with one shoulder, the smile still playing on his lips as he looked away. "Very little, very old, very pretty."

Amanda beamed and hugged him again, properly, with both arms this time. "Have I told you lately yer me favourite merc?" she asked.

Later, Nathan does the host-like thing and sits out watching the sunset with Manuel and a bottle of Scotch. The two of them have perhaps the most friendly conversation they've ever managed. (Gotta be the Scotch.) Manuel talks a little about his childhood, his worries about going back to Spain, and how much fun he and Amanda have been having thus far on their vacation. The subject of Rory and his presence in one of Manuel's dreams of the future is touched upon, and Manuel proves he can be extremely perceptive at times when he picks up on a certain happy something that happened between Nathan and Moira on Santorini.

"Since we're in a place where the drinking age is reasonable..." Nathan said, hobbling out to join Manuel on the balcony and floating two glasses of Scotch behind him. He waited until the young man had a secure hold on one of them before settling himself in a chair and reaching up to take the other. "Moira and Amanda are... well, actually, I don't know what Moira and Amanda are doing, but it seems to involve a lot of giggling. I think we're better off out here."

Manuel nodded, and clutched his thick blanket closer about his body. "Si, probably safer, too." he agreed, snagging his glass of Scotch and watching the spectacular view of the ocean from the balcony. "I'm getting a lot of unholy amusement from the link. Things Man Was Not Meant To Know. I know them anyway, at least how they feel."

"I'll stick a bottle of that in your luggage if you want," Nathan offered, a bit diffidently. "So long as, you know, you don't go getting publicly drunk on it in front of any uptight Americans."

Manuel smirked at that, and sipped his Scotch. "This _is_ good." he said, waving the glass vaguely Nathan-wards. "And despite the cold, the view is fantastic. Reminds me of home, a little bit. Alphonso had a place right on the ocean, with a view very much like this one. I like looking at the water. It's ... soothing, to someone like me."

"Soothing to most people who need soothing, actually," Nathan said, gazing out at the water. "There have been times over the last seven years that telling myself that I could go to Muir when I'd finished whatever job I was on at the time was the only thing that got me through it."

"It was my favorite place to go." he admitted quietly. "When things got ugly at home, when I could hear the screaming through the walls, when the bitterness choked me until I could not breathe." He stopped to sip at his Scotch again, and shiver a little underneath his blanket. "For all the damnedable weather, this balcony feels good."

"Doesn't get much warmer than this, I'm afraid," Nathan said with a warm chuckle. "Except for the odd day in August." He sipped at his own Scotch again, letting the silence hold for a few minutes longer. This was the first time in... well, ever, that he could say he felt comfortable around Manuel, so he was going to enjoy it. "So how goes the vacation so far?" he asked lightly, after a while.

"Pretty good, actually. A couple of rough moments, but nothing I couldn't handle." he smirked. "Very relaxing. It's nice to be out from under the cloud for a little while." he said enigmatically, then took another sip of his Scotch. "I can talk to people here. Well, if I can puzzle out the accent."

"The people around here have this strange habit of taking you as you come," Nathan agreed. "It's very... refreshing."

Manuel nodded to that, and sipped at his Scotch. "I'm running low here." he said, waving his glass in the air. "They do. And while Londoners were fairly rude, Brighton was downright refreshing. No one _cared_, and they meant their not-caring." he babbled. "And being Empath wasn't such a bad thing then."

Nathan closed his eyes, concentrating briefly on the bottle of Scotch in the room behind them. It came floating out onto the balcony. "Help yourself," he said, and then snorted softly, raising his glass and taking a sip again. Manuel gave him a questioning look and he shrugged. "Just nice to be able to sit here and have a glass of Scotch. Not being on any drugs this time and all..."

Manuel topped off his glass, and then looked over to Nathan's. "You good?" he asked, and then topped off the man's glass anyway. Setting the bottle down, he curled up a little tighter to preserve body-heat. "That it is. Reminds me of when we used to take siesta when Alphonso would have company over. They would sit, and drink, and smoke cigars or perhaps a pipe, and just _talk_. It was wonderful."

"Sounds very relaxed," Nathan said, part of him honestly glad to hear that Manuel did have positive memories of his childhood as well. "Moira and I tend to spend a lot of time on the roof at nights, while we're here. You get the aurora fairly often, this far north."

"Oh, not at all. They would stand up and bang their fists on the table and throw paper at each other. It was really kind of funny. I miss those times." he said wistfully, before taking another drink of Scotch. "Amanda still finds it hilarious that I read the Wall Street Journal and understand most of it."

"So what you're telling me is that you come by your preference for adversarial relationships honestly?" Nathan asked, an amused smile playing on his lips.

Manuel smirked. "It's the way it was done in my house. If you couldn't defend yourself, you were a doormat for everyone else." he said, then saddened. "Unfortunately, my mother was never the confrontational sort."

Nathan nodded slowly. There wasn't much that could be said to that. He stared out at the setting sun, noticing the shape of the clouds on the horizon. "It's going to rain tomorrow," he said quietly.

Manuel nodded. "Looks like." he said, then took another sip of his Scotch. "It's getting colder out here."

"There's a fireplace in your room," Nathan said. "Feel free to use it tonight - I made sure there was wood there and everything." He slouched a little in the chair, wishing he had something to prop his leg up on. The railing was just a little high. "Looking forward to visiting home?" he asked casually.

Manuel nodded. "Yes and no." he admitted around another drink. "It will be good to see Spain again, hear a civilized tongue, but ... I'm worried." he admited. "About Alphonso, about making it into the country. I haven't been there since the asylum."

Nathan gave him a thoughtful look. "It'll be fine," he said. "And on the off chance it isn't, there are plenty of people capable of getting you back out of any trouble you might find yourself in."

"That's not it." he said, pausing for a moment to adjust his posture in the seat. "I don't forget feelings. Spain - holds a lot of mixed feelings for me. It is my _home_, but it is also where my torturers are. Love, and hate. And I still don't know if they left any presents in my brain, like the ones Kwannon left." he said bitterly. "So I could go back, and turn back into Prisoner 3243867."

"You take your chances," Nathan said quietly. "I was pretty damned stupid to come back to the States, myself, but it's been worth it." So far, the cynical part of him pointed out.

Manuel nodded. "Yes, you've done well for yourself." he said, looking at Nathan just slightly skewed. "Amanda's still laughing her butt off in there. What could those two _possibly_ be up to?"

Nathan tilted his head, listening down the link. "Uhh... you really, really don't want to know," he muttered with a laugh. "Have you done something that requires elaborate and extensive revenge lately?"

Manuel snickers. "I won a drinking contest, so now I get to choose the dress and location of a social occasion that we will both go to. I think I know just the thing - the Lords Cardinal are having a masquerade ball in a few months. I was thinking that we would go."

"A masquerade ball," Nathan said, intrigued enough by the image that the fact that it was a Hellfire-run masquerade ball didn't really penetrate. "Huh. That would be interesting."

"I thought so. It should be a smashing good time." he grinned, then took another sip of Scotch. "And I can combine business with pleasure while I'm there."

"Won't that be handy," Nathan murmured, a bit more sardonically than he should have. "Sorry," he said, waving a hand at Manuel. "Hellfire issues. But I've told you that."

Manuel shrugged. "So far, they've never done anything but be helpful to me. And you'll have to admit that if they can be tamed they could go far to aid the cause of the folks in your head."

Nathan tilted his head again, listening for the Askani this time. But they didn't react to Manuel's words, and he frowned a little. "They've been so quiet this week," he said a bit wonderingly.

"Maybe you've earned some time off for good behavior? Or bad behavior? I saw that picture of the dress. She fills it out nicely." he said with a de la Rocha smirk. "Perhaps I will steal her heart away from you for a night she will never forget, eh?" he said jokingly.

"You're really counting on my mood staying mellow, aren't you?" Nathan said with a chuckle, shaking his head and taking another sip of his Scotch.

Manuel smirked. "Empath, remember? I don't have to guess when you're mellow." He chased his words with another swallow of Scotch. "Besides, I like 'em young, not old. No wrinkles, though. That dress would have shown them if she had any."

"Shall I call her out here so you can compliment her on her lack of wrinkles?" Nathan snorted, raising an eyebrow.

Manuel stopped to query his emotional link to Amanda. "No, probably a bad idea right now. They're _still_ busy in there." He smiled absently as he thought. "I never thought I'd admit that a doctor was attractive. I don't like doctors."

"Well, I never thought I'd be sitting on this balcony drinking good Scotch with an empath," Nathan said, "so there you go. Strange things happen every day."

"They do at that." he agreed, taking a drink of his Scotch. "This is the good stuff. Nice to know she rolls out her best when she entertains guests. Although the other one, Dr Campbell? He gives me nightmares."

"You... haven't met Rory before," Nathan said, a bit puzzled. "How has he given you nightmares?"

"I have seen him before. In one of my futures." he said with a shudder. "I do not wish to talk about it, for I'd like to get some sleep tonight."

Nathan opened his mouth, then closed it again, wrestling with his startled wariness. "All right," he said, making a mental note to talk to Manuel about it at some point. "Sleep is good. You will need the energy for Amsterdam, I'm thinking," he said, managing a wry smile.

Manuel grinned. "I am eagerly anticipating Amsterdam." he said with some relish. "And, to answer your curiosity, it was one of my futures. The word "Hound" was definitely relevant." he said mysteriously.

"Hound," Nathan murmured, then shook his head. "A conversation better left for the light of day, maybe," he suggested.

Manuel nodded vigorously. "Or for not at all. The man doesn't hate mutants, we should be OK for a while. But please, for whatever it is worth, do not antagonize the man any more than necessary."

Nathan's jaw tightened. "I try," he said darkly, "but my existence anywhere in Moira's vicinity tends to antagonize him. I will keep it in mind, though."

Manuel nodded. "It is _very important_ that you do that." he said, then shuddered and took another drink of Scotch. "It is too fine an evening for such dark thoughts, though. Any more, and Amanda will burst out here and say "Oy!" at me, and then I will have to die laughing."

"I'm still terribly impressed that you survived Romany, by the way," Nathan said, deliberately putting his concerns about Rory aside for now. It wasn't something that was going to get solved anytime soon, after all.

Manuel smiled. "She's not so bad. We had a little talk - it's no more than the mother of a girl gives her suitor when things get sufficiently involved. Not that we are - Gods, no! But she gave it to me anyway, and I handled it with my usual grace and charm."

Nathan blinked and then bit his lip, hard. "Pass the bottle over?" he asked.

Manuel passed the bottle without comment, and then looked oddly at Nathan. "But you are. I'm guessing that congratulations are in order, then? I would offer a cigar, except that I seem to be fresh out of them."

Nathan nearly dropped the bottle. "What..." He stopped, then shook his head. "What exactly did I project that you picked up on that?" he asked, honestly curious as he topped off his glass.

Manuel smirked. "Give me a little bit of credit for some meager skill." is all he said, before hoisting his glass in Nathan's direction. "Congratulations. Truly." he said, dead-serious.

"Thank you," Nathan said after a moment, then shrugged. "Nothing official, or formal... yet. Just... a recognition of what's there, I guess you'd call it."

Manuel nodded. "Well, it will be good for you, I think." he said. "Set an example for the young and jaded set." he added with a smirk.

"Me as a role model," Nathan said dryly. "What is the world coming to?"

"A nasty fiery end, I think." he smirked, and then finished off his last swallow of Scotch. "But at least some will be happy before it all ends in fire."