xp_logs | Angelo, Nathan, and Shinobi

Angelo gets Nathan's email and comes up to confront him about why he's avoiding Nathan and how he feels about what happened. Nathan is unresponsive. After a short conversation, Angelo departs... only to be herded back in by an eavesdropper.

After reading Nathan's e-mail, Angelo, against his better judgment, found himself heading for the older man's rooms. He really didn't like the implication in the opening sentence that he had no right to be avoiding Nathan, even after what had happened by the lake. Arriving outside the room, he knocked and waited.

Nathan looked up from the Arabic textbook, blinking as he tried to focus on the presence outside the door. Realizing who it was, he straightened in his chair, his jaw clenching as he closed the book and laid it aside. "Come in," he called, his voice neutral.

Angelo pushed the door open without ceremony, walking in without looking directly at Nathan. "You wanted me not to avoid you? Well, here I am."

"Here you are," Nathan agreed, his voice almost as cool as he wanted it to be. "Shall I reiterate the apology in person, or did you have something else you wanted to say?"

Angelo blinked at him for a minute, oddly taken aback by his cold tone, even now. "No, I think you said all I needed to hear by way of apology."

"Good. I thought I was fairly straightforward." Nathan gazed at Angelo for a moment, noting his lack of moving. "But something must have brought you up here."

Angelo shrugged, still not looking at him. "Thought you probably ought t'know why I'm avoidin' you."

"Oh?" Nathan inquired, a bit more heavily. "Would you like to sit down, or is this better done standing?"

"Don't know. I'll stay standin' for now."

Nathan waited. Angelo stared. "What," Nathan said with a thin smile, "are you waiting for me to invite you to have at it?"

Angelo shrugged. "Well. I figure you just did. Tell me first - d'you really not understand at all why I don't much wanna talk to you? Not just 'cause it'd've been out of line to do that to anyone?"

"It was a statement of fact," Nathan said flatly. "Not a judgement of your motivations."

"Then tell me why you think it is", Angelo insisted.

Nathan looked at him levelly, trying to ignore the oddly dim rumble of the Askani. "Why?" he asked. "I treated you badly. I've apologized."

Angelo nodded, only a little impatiently. "Yeah, you did, but I'm not sure you really get... how much that fuckin' hurt comin' from you."

"I often miss the subtleties," Nathan said, not breaking eye contact.

"Fine. I trusted you, more'n any other person on staff here. I told you stuff. You've seen me cry. Paige hasn't seen me cry. An' then you go an' pull that on me?" He turned away, hoping Nathan would take it as disgust.

Nathan stared at his back for a moment. "Don't know what else I can say to you, Angelo," he responded. His chest was feeling oddly tight again, but... no, not letting himself go there. At all. "If it's cost me your trust, it's cost me your trust."

Angelo didn't turn, willing himself not to break down - at least not until he was well out of Nathan's range. "It has." He broke off sharply, cutting off anything else he might have said.

Nathan sucked in a deep breath, not saying anything for a long moment. For the best, he told himself. He hadn't done anything productive with Angelo's trust when he'd had it, had he? "I appreciate you being direct about it," he said coolly. "Getting things out into the open generally avoids complications."

Angelo nodded, eyes sad although Nathan still couldn't see that, but matched his cool tone. "Never was much good at lyin'."

Only to yourself, Nathan was tempted to say, but didn't. Hypocrisy was to be avoided whenever possible. "Was there anything else?" he asked.

Angelo shrugged. "Not really. Just wanted you to know why."

"T'ansial ne'haldora," Nathan said and then stopped, his jaw clenching as he heard the Askani words come out of his mouth. "I... understand, I mean."

"Okay, then. Guess... I'd better go." And without another word, he walked to the door and out, closing it quietly behind him.

There was a pause of a few minutes, before the door opened again and he came back in, looking distinctly mutinous.

And a few paces behind him, Shinobi stepped into the room, his expression stern as he reached back to close the door behind himself.

"Gentlemen," he said stonily, "I think we need to talk."