xp_logs | Angelo, Shinobi and Nathan, Friday evening (part two)

Backdated to Friday evening. Immediately following this log, Shinobi, Angelo, and Nathan talk things out. They go back and forth, and around and around, and come to at least a sort of resolution. (OOC: Quite long!)

There was a pause of a few minutes, before the door opened again and Angelo came back in, looking distinctly mutinous.

And a few paces behind him, Shinobi stepped into the room, his expression stern as he reached back to close the door behind himself.

"Gentlemen," he said stonily, "I think we need to talk."

Nathan actually flinched, inwardly cursing himself. How had he not sensed Shinobi out there? he thought dimly, trying to shake off the sudden jolt of adrenalin. He glanced back at Angelo, then at Shinobi. "About?" he asked, his voice less steady.

Shinobi flicked a glance to Angelo. "Sit," he stated, jerking his head towards a free chair before returning his focus to Nathan. "About the absence of maturity and sanity this facility appears to have suffered in my absence," he replied, calmly folding his hands in front of himself.

Angelo sat in the indicated chair, still a little sulky, but not arguing.

"Ah," Nathan said neutrally, stepping on the little flicker of anger. "Do go on."

"You two obviously require a moderator," Shinobi observed, remaining where he is - standing right in front of the door. "Now, as I have been gone for the last several months, I am probably as impartial a party as you two are likely to get. So. We are going to fix this."

Nathan's eyes flickered away wearily to the window for a moment, then back. "I don't recall asking for your input."

"I don't recall caring," Shinobi countered cooly, arching an eyebrow at Nathan.

Nathan looked at Angelo for a moment that dragged on. To fix it, he thought almost wistfully. Turn the clock back... only that didn't happen, did it, and maybe it was better that it didn't.

Angelo didn't look up from where he was sitting, head bent, waiting for Shinobi to drag him into the conversation.

"Now," Shinobi continued, flicking his gaze between the pair, "You two are going to talk. When you start to get angry, you are going to stop, take a moment to calm down and think, and then, you are going to talk some more. We will not leave this room until I am satisfied. Understood?"

Nathan's gaze snapped back to Shinobi, and this time the anger was more than a ripple. "La'hassulya diraya," he growled, and could have smacked his head against the nearest wall. Gritting his teeth, he tried again. "I could leave this room anytime I want, Shinobi," he said harshly. "Let's not fool ourselves."

"But you won't leave," Shinobi replied calmly, remaining where he was. "And would you like to know why you won't, Nathan?" He didn't wait for a reply. "Because you are a mature, adult member of this school's faculty, and running away to avoid a problematic situation is not something an adult does. It's what an immature brat does. I should know. I'm the King of immature brats. So you are going to sit there, and talk this out, or I'm going to go downstairs and tattle. Now." He arched an eyebrow pointedly. "Why don't we begin with your point of view, since you're actually talking, Nate?"

Nathan reminded himself that 'bite me' was not an appropriate response. "Fairly simple," he said coldly. "I lost my temper. Not a mature, adult, faculty sort of thing to do."

"Yet here you are, grading papers, like a mature, adult member of a school's faculty," Shinobi mused, with a ghost of a smile. "You need to make a choice, Nathan. You need to decide if you're going to continue behaving in the manner you snapped at Angelo for in the first place, or if you're going to take your own advice and grow up."

Nathan stared. "You've lost me," he said blankly, no trace of sarcasm in the words. "Quite literally."

"Let me try and explain.. with small words, since you obviously still have yet to sleep." Pursing his lips in thought, Shinobi shifted his weight from one foot to the other, drawing in a deep breath. "Now, the e-mail from Sarah aside.. what were you angry with Angelo for, that caused you to snap at him?"

Nathan tried to think back. The revelation of the email had thrown everything into stark anger and fear and raging disappointment, but before... he sighed suddenly, a very grim smile flickering across his features. "Empty apologies," he murmured dryly.

"That's *all*? And you two are throwing away your trust in each other over something *that* bloody stupid?" Shinobi's calm mask vanished, replaced by an expression of utter disbelief. "Jesus *Christ*, take a moment to fucking *re-evaluate your priorities*!"

"That is not all," Nathan snapped. "You said the email from Sarah aside."

"Sarah and I left the school, Nate," Shinobi observed with a sigh, slowly shaking his head. "She never made it a secret, what she intended to do when she found the people responsible for killing her family, and she never made it a secret that she was looking. Now, while I agree that it was fucking stupid for these guys not to tell anyone here about the e-mail when it showed up, do you really think that this is something to make any decisions on, in your current state? It obviously hasn't worked out well thus far. *Look* at him, Nate. You're going to fucking break him. If you're still pissed after you've slept, and taken a day or two to really, honest to God THINK about it, fine. But I'll not have you two wind up on each others' shit lists because you, Nathan Dayspring, are too much of an idiot to get a good night's sleep."

Guilt flared at Shinobi's words, raw and bitter, with a simultaneous rush of anger at Shinobi himself. But Nathan pushed both down and away, emptying his mind as much as he could. The Askani were buzzing in the background again. Like bees, almost. "How many ways, precisely, do I need to say that I was wrong?" he managed, his voice strained.

"As many as it takes for Angelo and I to believe it," Shinobi replied, his voice returning to its previous calm, gentle tone.

"Fine. I was wrong. I should have kept walking to the quarry that morning and broken rocks, and left Angelo sitting peacefully on the dock," Nathan said roughly, his hands clenching on the arms of his chair. A very large part of him quite honestly wished that he had. Just walked on, left it alone, not ever opened the can of worms in the first place... "I can say that repeatedly, if you want, although the words are rather empty."

"If the words are empty, Nathan, then it doesn't matter how many times you say them," Shinobi observed, folding his hands in front of himself as he watched the older man, seeming utterly calm and composed. "It's easy enough to tell you felt it was wrong, Nate. *Sorry*, on the other hand, isn't nearly as easy to judge."

"Funny how that works," Nathan muttered, his eyes flickering back to Angelo. "But the only way I know to do this is not to do it, or anything like it ever again."

"It shouldn't have happened the first time. This is a student under your charge, Nathan. One who does not trust easily, but he trusted *you*. I don't know if you're awake enough to be truly cognisant of just how badly your stubborn refusal to take a nap has fucked you up." Shinobi held up a hand to try and still any arguement, inclining his head. "Now, I want to make a suggestion. May I? Keep in mind, I'm going to make it anyway, but it's only polite to ask."

"Go ahead," Nathan said.

Shinobi nodded his thanks. "It's a novel idea, really, but perhaps you should.. I don't know.. sleep. If you don't want to do that, perhaps you should cancel your classes until such a time as you're capable of behaving like an adult again."

Nathan stared at the younger man flatly. Shinobi didn't bat an eyelash. "I gave Charles my word that nothing of this sort would happen again. He saw fit to accept it."

"I'm not Charles," Shinobi countered, with a brief grin.

"No," Nathan said shortly. "You're not."

The response didn't seem to bother Shinobi in the slightest, his grin returning as his lifted his shoulders in a helpless shrug. "Charles is big on second, third, fourth, and fifth chances, ever-patient and ever-graceful about welcoming killers and other such malcontents into his home, always surprised when he lack of a firm hand fails to change their ways. I'm more of a 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me' sort of guy. Something I get from my father." He shrugged again. "This is, for you and I, our 'fool me once'. I believed you were a mature and responsible man. Shame on you. Now, after you get a bit of sleep, we'll find out if you're going to fool me twice. How does that sound?"

"You are very much missing the point," Nathan said, the words clipped. "I am fully aware of the fact that I crossed the line. I even realize what caused me to do it. What is, is, and I can't take back what I said to Angelo. But because I realize precisely how wrong-headed I was being, I can avoid ever making the mistake again. Not just with Angelo, but with any of the students." He stared at Shinobi. "I don't know what more you want from me, but I do know that I can't repair his trust in me with words, with apologies, or with anything else but proving that I am not going to lash out by not doing it, and not doing it on a continuous basis."

"And you can take a step to ensure your temper's leash is a great deal longer. All it entails is walking into the next room, crawling into bed, and going to sleep." Shinobi tilted his head slightly, arching an eyebrow. "It's compromised your control of your emotions, your ability to think things through as much as you normally do."

"Shinobi, I'm going to say this once, explictly, since you seem to feel it necessary to hammer the point," Nathan said curtly. "I have two and a half million psionic entities in my head. Enough psi-energy to light up a city. I don't seem to need to sleep anymore. I barely need to eat. And I don't need you to give me an out for my behavior by blaming it on sleep deprivation." Besides, it had only been a couple of nights at that point.

"Nathan, you have two and a half million psionic entities in your head. Enough psi-energy to light up a city. You need to be rested so your body can control and contain that much power, or sooner or later, you're going to do one of two things, either of which will likely kill you, and Moira." The mirroring of the man's words was obviously deliberate. Shinobi was just that much of a bastard. He frowned a touch, his earlier stoniness replaced with seemingly genuine concern. "For fuck's sake, Nathan, you aren't just living for yourself now. You're living for her. You're living for *them*." He gestured vaguely towards the man's head.

Buzzing again, louder. "~Too much to do and not enough that I can do,~" Nathan said, the words coming out in Askani again, but he didn't really absorb it, going on without pausing. "~They're children and I see that now, I understand the mistake I was making...~"

"How many times have you done that since you stopped sleeping, Nathan?" Shinobi interjected into the first available pause, his voice's concern matching his expression. "You're speaking Askani again. You don't realize it, do you?"

Shinobi was saying something, but the words didn't quite make sense. Nathan blinked at him, then narrowed his eyes. "I've lost the ~thread of the conversation~ somewhere," he said.

"Lost the what?" Shinobi blinked, brow furrowing in confusion. He only considered it for a moment longer before he sighed, waving a hand dismissively. "I need to take my own advice here, I think. Why don't we finish this after you get some rest?"

Finish what? Nathan wanted to ask, but didn't. He leaned back in the chair, trying futilely to relax a little, even though his instincts were telling him he should have kicked them both out of the damned room ten minutes ago. This wasn't accomplishing anything...

Shinobi nodded in approval as Nathan settled into his chair, and drew in a deep breath. Slowly, he turned his attention to Angelo, developing a wry smile. "Angelo? I have a question for you."

Angelo looked up at him, wary after everything he'd heard, but meeting Shinobi's gaze squarely. "Yeah?"

"I know you feel that what you did was wrong, in not telling anyone about the e-mail," Shinobi began calmly, "But what I want to ask you is why. Why do you feel it was wrong?"

"'Cause...", Angelo started, thinking it out as he spoke. "'Cause I should've known Sarah'd go off on her own, if she found them. To a fight she couldn't win, whatever she thinks. Even Sarah can't take on that kind of numbers an' win. An' 'cause the others didn't know what they were goin' into."

Shinobi nodded patiently. "So, you regret not telling the staff, because the X-Men could have gone in prepared to help her? Is that the gist of it, more or less?"

"Yeah, 'cause she almost died out there. An' if they'd known what they were up against, maybe Alison wouldn't've got hurt."

"She did die out there. It just wasn't permanent." After a moment spent regarding Angelo, Shinobi cocked his head to one side, one eyebrow quirking. "So, why is it you think the X-Men, of all people, would condone and assist Sarah in pre-meditated mass murder, Angelo? She deserves her revenge, yes, but the X-Men are not the tools of every mutant with a grudge. It certainly wasn't in the sales pitch Logan and Scott gave me when I got my leathers."

"Didn't say they'd condone it, or assist. Sarah's revenge is her business - but not when she's dumb enough to go in there alone. That's why Jono made that post - to try an' save her life. If that meant stoppin' her gettin' her revenge, well..."

Nathan's eyes widened and he laughed suddenly, a harsh sound that broke the atmosphere of calm and reasonableness that Shinobi had been trying to create. "~I see where this is going,~" he said, the words coming out in Askani yet again. He stared flatly at Shinobi, not bothering to hide his suspicion, or his anger. "~I see precisely where this is going.~"

Shinobi began to open his mouth to respond when Nathan laughed, causing him to blink in surprise and look towards the older man. He sighed. "Askani again, Nathan," he pointed out gently, apparently unbothered by the man's expression. "Breathe, concentrate. In English. Or at least something I can understand."

Nathan glared at him, but took a moment, focusing on making the words come out in English. It was just stress, he told himself. "Planning to draw lines, are we?" he said, knowing it wasn't coming out quite right. The images in his mind were Askani, and it was like he was almost having to translate into the English. "Define the pattern around a single core?"

"You really do need to sleep, mate," Shinobi said tiredly, his brow furrowing as his mind tried to translate Sleepy Nathan to English. "I didn't put the lines I pointed out into play. I just wanted to make it clear that the X-Men are not tools for revenge, or other such grudges. As I understand it, we're - they're - meant to peace-keepers."

Such fun to be completely inarticulate, Nathan thought grimly. "Not their lines," he said, then pointed at Angelo. "His lines. What he did, should have done, could have done, but there's only one right answer, isn't there?" The anger drained away abruptly, and he shook his head at Shinobi, looking away. "There was more at risk in this than you're seeing."

"In this case, I'm inclined to believe in the answer he's given me," Shinobi replied with a slight shrug, glancing to Angelo with a small smile. "He wanted the X-Men to go in so they could *protect* Sarah, not necessarily help her with her acts of murder. They obviously needed to defend themselves, but that generally comes with the job, sadly."

Angelo nodded. "Yeah. I know Sarah thinks this was her fight, but there was no way she was comin' out of it well on her own."

When Nathan didn't speak up again, Shinobi fully returned his attention to Angelo, nodding approvingly. "No.. but she had to try. I'd have done the same thing in her shoes, no matter how stupid or suicidal it was." He shrugged helplessly. "It's an honor thing, partially. Or would be for me. But, that's neither here nor there." He glanced between the two, bouncing lightly on his toes. "At any rate.. I think we've made as much progress as we can right now, without treading over already tired ground. So, what say we try this again, over smoothies, once we've all gotten a bit of rest and time to recouperate?"

Angelo nodded, glancing cautiously in Nathan's direction. "Okay..."

Nathan looked straight at Shinobi, bleakly. "One question."

Shinobi looked to Nathan, brightening ever so slightly as the man spoke in English. Thank God. "Go right ahead."

Nathan went on, picking each word with deliberate care, almost biting off the end of each. "What should they have done with the email?" he asked, focusing hard as he waited for Shinobi's reply.

"It depends," Shinobi replied thoughtfully, tilting his head to one side. He looked to Angelo. "What did it say, specifically?"

Angelo thought, trying to remember the exact wording. "It said... she'd got the break she was lookin' for, an' they were all goin' down."

"Did it mention any of the Marauders in specific?" Shinobi asked, loosely folding his arms across his chest. He's already beginning to think about his answer, but from the sound of it, he wants all the information he can get at his disposal, first.

Angelo blinked, remembering that detail. "It... um, yeah. Just Grey Crow. She had a particular grudge against him, sounded like."

Shinobi nodded slowly, lips briefly twisting downward into a frown. But, it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. "And just so I'm clear.. who did it get sent to?"

Angelo concentrated, counting on his fingers so he didn't miss anyone. "Me, Paige, Jono... Clarice an' Marie. An' she asked us to pass it on to Amanda."

The expression that came to Shinobi's face was one that was very easy to identify - disappointment. "You should have told them the instant it showed up in your in-boxes," he replied, with no thought having to be given to his words. "Marie, at the very least, knew exactly who Grey Crow was. That he was military, that he had been brought on to train Sarah. And she knows Sarah well enough to know that, once she found out, that her judgement would have been even more impaired by hatred than it already was." He shook his head, not bothering to hide his frown. "It should have been reported. No question."

Angelo nodded. "I know. Told you that already. An' I can only speak for why I didn't - I knew Sarah wouldn't agree to any of us still in the house goin' to help her, when it was her choice, but I thought she'd let you. If only 'cause you were with her already."

Nathan looked from one of them to the other, a strange, strained smile playing on his lips. "Love ties knots in itself," he said, the closest translation from the Askani expression he could come up with. "I had it easy. When I tracked down every single person who had a hand in killing my wife and son, I had no ties. No one left to care whether I lived or died. I didn't particularly care myself." They were both watching him now, Angelo slightly wide-eyed, and he went on, not really thinking about what he was saying, what he was revealing. "I was still healing up from the first set of gunshot wounds. Picked up more, nearly died. But they were all quite, quite dead. I even killed the director who'd ordered the operation in front of his children." His eyes flickered back to the window. "I could talk about satisfaction and the lack thereof, but what the fuck does it really matter, in the end? Every single one of us who decides to take revenge on that scale has a different reaction. But the only thing that allows me to live with myself is that it was my choice. I picked the path. I walked the path. In the end..." He looked back with a ghastly smile at the two young men. "Maybe it shouldn't have been shared after all."

Shinobi nodded in response to Angelo, but his response to the other boy would have to wait - it gave him time to think, even listening to Nathan as attentively as he was, his hands shifting to tuck themselves into his pockets. While much of this information was new, Shinobi still looked remarkably composed, more thoughtful than anything else. Certainly not surprised, nor scandalized. When he spoke again, it was to Angelo, first. "I know. You did what you felt was right with the limited knowledge you had. I support that. But some of the others, they posessed more knowledge than you did. They, if no one else, should have brought the information to the faculty's attention. One of them was faculty, before she and Logan left, for that matter, with her own military entanglements. In her case, it was probably similar feelings in regards to revenge, as well as how long she'd spent with Logan, that helped her make her decision." He shrugged. Then, finally, he turned his attention back to Nate. "In theory, I have no issues with revenge, when it's deserved. No matter what form it takes. I'm sure I will, in my lifetime, run into exceptions. In this case, Sarah deserves her revenge.. but more than that, she deserves to see it succeed, and live to feel the honor of her family restored. To have them thanking her, telling her she's done right by them. In this case, letting her go up against the man who trained her - which in and of itself clearly shows that she was outmatched, even before you take his companions into account - was tantamount to standing by and watching Sarah commit suicide."

Angelo nodded again, eyes intense. "Yeah. An' that is what I would not do. I'd've gone myself, if there was no other way, once I knew she'd left you behind. If she'd taken you along to watch her back, I probably wouldn't've told them at all, an' I'm bettin' Jono wouldn't either. Cause back home, what the guys did to me was one thing, but if they'd touched my mother - an' I was watchin' them an' the house, as much as I could, from a distance - I'd've done like Sarah did, even knowin' there was no one there who would or could watch my back, suicide or not."

Nathan shook his head, another laugh slipping out, this one much more tired-sounding than the last. "Lovely," he said as they both looked at him. English was easier... maybe because the tension he was feeling was easing a little? Maybe this conversation hadn't been such a bad thing after all. It had certainly illustrated a number of very interesting things. "I think I'm beginning to see where else I'm making the mistake here. ~What is, is,~ and this is as close to a no-win situation as it's possible to get. For her, for everyone who was involved." He met Shinobi's eyes levelly. "You picked your path, thinking you'd walk down it with her, yet she chose a different way. So you get to find out that unity of purpose doesn't really exist in certain situations, even when you want it to. It's a fairly worthwhile lesson." He turned his attention to Angelo. "You, on the other hand, stumbled down a path without really knowing what you were doing. I should have seen that and made allowances. You might be the same age as some of the members of the Pack were when they started, but you don't have the training or experience they did when I took them on. I did you an injustice, treating you as if you did." He leaned back in the chair, eyeing them both. "When the tactical mind and the gut conflict, it rarely turns out well. Fuck knows I've had that happen often enough to me in the last twenty years. I'm glad she and the others made it out alive. I'm ready to leave it at that." His gaze hardened. "And now, we are definitely done. I think you both need to go find somewhere else to be."

For his part, Shinobi didn't seem to disagree with Nathan's assessment of his own part in things - in fact, he simply nodded his head in response, with a slight, downright serene smile. No comment was made on the observations about Angelo, though. After all, it wasn't his place. Instead, he took a step back and took the doorknob in his hand, flashing a grin towards the two men. "You won't hear me arguing, Nathan. Do consider getting a little rest, maybe? At least meditating, perhaps, if nothing else. I find it very soothing." He paused, and added, "And maybe eat something. You should also eat something." A shrug, and he beckoned to Angelo with a hand, bowing his head. "C'mon, Angelo. I think a pre-dinner smoke is in order."

Angelo got up without complaint, heading for the door to join Shinobi. He turned, just for a moment, as if to say something to Nathan, then apparently thought better of it and turned back, simply following Shinobi out of the room.

Nathan nudged the door shut telekinetically. "I need a fucking drink," he muttered. But a promise to Moira was a promise to Moira, and he wasn't absolutely sure she wouldn't find some way to kick his ass from the other side of the Atlantic. She did have her ways.