Amanda, Askani - Sunday afternoon
Jun. 27th, 2004 04:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsFollowing this log with Alison and Nathan, Amanda is watching over him sleeping when Askani herself makes an appearance to explain things. The language barrier proves a problem, until Amanda allows Askani to give her the telepathic crash course.
Once Alison had left, Amanda took up her self-assigned vigil by Nathan's bed - well, her bed, really, but as it was currently occupied by slightly-snoring former merc, she was willing to think of it as his. His aura was still 'off', blurry almost, and she bit her lip as she tried to figure out what this meant, and whether it was permanent. He'd seemed so lost... Angrily she brushed away the first glimmer of tears and focussed on Nathan. "You'll get through this, old man," she murmured, reaching out to pull the blanket a little higher on his chest. "You'd better, or Moira'll kick yer arse. No need t' worry 'bout me."
The curtains by the window fluttered suddenly, as if caught by a breeze, though the window was closed. Nathan twitched in his sleep, his forehead creasing. There was a soft, rushing noise, almost below the audible level, and Amanda leaned back a little, her eyes widening as a faint red-gold glow coalesced in the air, turning into a more-ghostly-looking-than-usual Askani. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she gave Amanda a small, strained smile. "~Little sister,~" she murmured, her voice faint, distinctly troubled.
That one she knew, if only from Nathan using it. "~Greetings, Lady,~" she replied haltingly, trying to think of the Askani for 'what the fuck is going on?' and failing. So she settled for English. "Do you know what's happening to him?" she asked, her tone much softer than would be expected. That Askani looked worried was both heartening (it obviously wasn't the Askani doing this) and disturbing sight. And the lack of solidity didn't bode well either.
Askani was silent for a long moment. She reached out, as if to touch Nathan's face, but her hand went fuzzy and stayed that way until she drew back. "It is... difficult," she said, her English very halting, even more heavily accented than usual. "Difficult to... explain. We... push too hard. He does, also. Then, the circle." She made a vaguely circular gesture in the air, looking frustrated. "It grows, he does not sleep. He cannot maintain... himself, in the midst of us." Her features trembled, as if she was fighting the sudden urge to cry. "He could not hear us."
"His aura's all bent out of shape, I know that," Amanda said, reaching out to Askani despite herself - it was like she imagined it would be like seeing Rom upset (not that she could imagine that), too awful to stand.
Her hand touched... something, but not the apparently-solid psi-form Askani could usually manage. Askani shook her head, still looking distressed. "What he does," she said, still obviously laboring for the words. "To keep us... together, and separate. It is not... conscious. But his unconscious mind... cannot function, unrested. Our energy can sustain him physically, but not in mind." She shook her head again, more violently. "He... bleeds into us. This cannot be! I will not permit it."
"What's t' be done, then?" Amanda asked, but the answer she received was mostly in Askani, the effort of speaking in English clearly too much. She ground her teeth in frustration, then made her mind up. "This is fuckin' ridiculous. I can't understand you, or him right now, an' I can't help if I can't understand." She glanced down at Nathan, seeing the strain in his face, and then back up at Askani, face determined. "You wanted me t' learn? Yer gettin' yer chance. Give me what you gave Alison, if you can manage, that is."
"The strain," Askani said, her eyes flickering back down to Nathan's face. "Not all... not as he is, now. The langya bellaya... our speech, perhaps." She looked up at Amanda, still looking troubled. "Are you certain?"
"I can't see another way 'round it. Me translatin' spells don't work on talkin', just books, an' I have t' know what I can do t' help him. An' help you." Askani's concern for Nate had cinched it for her - no matter the woman's methods and motivations, they had a common cause here. "Give me what you can."
Askani drifted up off the bed, reaching out a hand towards Amanda, her fingertips brushing the girl's forehead. "~Then speak with our words,~" she said, her eyes glowing with red-gold light.
That light exploded behind Amanda's eyes, not in an 'ow, I just got hit in the head with something heavy' kind of way, more like someone had suddenly turned a very bright light on inside her skull. It reminded her a little of the overlap with Manuel, only without the brain-crushing pain. Her fingers tightened on her knees, digging into the denim of her jeans, and a small gasp escaped her. Then Askani took her hand away, and the mind-expanding sensation ceased, replaced by the oddest sensation of things... slotting into place.
"Fuck," she said, or tried to say. It came out as "Flonq," instead and she couldn't help a small grin. "~That's quite the sensation of being drug affected,~" she said to Askani, wrinkling her nose at the formality of the words. Obviously it was one thing to be given the language, another to be able to not sound like a total wanker in it. "~I wish this had been available when I was learning my other languages.~"
Askani looked relieved, almost overwhelmingly so. "~Listen to me, little sister,~" she said rapidly. "~The problem is that our energy can sustain his body, at least for a time, but not his mind. If he does not sleep, he loses the ability to keep himself whole.~" Her eyes bored into Amanda's. "~We are the ocean,~" she said intensely.
Amanda focussed on the words, reminding herself that there was a reason for this and the goofy happy feelings could wait. Luckily it was easier to think through this than being actually high. "~I think I understand, Lady,~" she replied. "~There are so many of you, so much energy, it swallows him?~" She remembered the ocean analogy Jamie had come up with when she was explaining her own powers to him. "~My... own ocean is sometimes overwhelming. I can help him, I think. Help him remember who he is.~" A wry smile crossed her face. "~Beat him with something hard when he is being foolish and not sleeping when he should.~"
Askani sighed. "~You understand,~" she said, weary approval and a hint of something that was almost affection in her voice. "~By the time I did, it was too late. He was not hearing me.~" Her eyes went back to Nathan as she half-turned back towards the bed. "~Such a tangle,~" she said heavily. "~I demanded too much, too soon, and he demands too much of himself. The cost grew too high, too quickly.~"
"~He's a stubborn illegitimate child...~" Amanda screwed up her face at how that sounded and made a visible effort for the English. "Bastard!" she corrected triumphantly, and then went on in Askani again. "~He and I are much alike. I push because there is much to atone for. Him... I'm not sure why. He cares too much for others, and leaves nothing for himself.~" There was a mixture of frustration and concern on her face as she reached out to brush her fingers across his forehead. "~He takes on too great a burden. I'd help carry it, if I knew how.~"
"~We had those like him among the Clan,~" Askani said quietly, sadly. "~Those who came to us from the Canaanites. Usually as adults, when they discovered their consciences. But he...~" She shook her head. "~He broke free as a child from those in this time whom we would call Canaanites, yet he will not, can not truly allow himself to find release. Not from that, not from all the years after spent bound as a weapon. Any weakness, any vulnerability, any failure... the child within is unforgiving and has crippled the man.~"
"~Children can be harsh in their judgement,~" Amanda agreed, thinking of her own 'child within'. "~When you are taught the wrong path, it is no easy task to step from it. And fear makes children of us all.~" She shook her head at the way she was sounding, what she was saying. Romany would have a field day. "~He was taught, like me, to hate his weakness. Weakness brings punishment. And failure harms those who would care for us.~"
Askani looked back at Nathan, almost anxiously. "~I cannot maintain my manifestation for much longer,~ she said. "~He cannot spend the energy. Tell Xavier and Moira, through Alison if you must, that he must sleep, for as long as possible. I can feel the boundaries resetting themselves even now, but it will take time. We will do what we can from within.~"
The girl nodded. "~I can see to that, Lady. And I'll watch over him, until Moira returns.~" Her mouth quirked a little, amused. "~I shall watch him from without, that is.~"
"~I know you will, Amanda,~" Askani said, and a brief, startling smile flashed across her features for a moment, her green eyes lighting with it. "~How does the world look through our eyes, little one?~" she asked, fading into an indistinct glow that lingered for a moment before vanishing completely.
Blinking at the after-images, Amanda spun her chair back towards her desk, preparing to write the promised email. "~You need better swear words,~" she said in reply, grinning a little as she began to type.
Once Alison had left, Amanda took up her self-assigned vigil by Nathan's bed - well, her bed, really, but as it was currently occupied by slightly-snoring former merc, she was willing to think of it as his. His aura was still 'off', blurry almost, and she bit her lip as she tried to figure out what this meant, and whether it was permanent. He'd seemed so lost... Angrily she brushed away the first glimmer of tears and focussed on Nathan. "You'll get through this, old man," she murmured, reaching out to pull the blanket a little higher on his chest. "You'd better, or Moira'll kick yer arse. No need t' worry 'bout me."
The curtains by the window fluttered suddenly, as if caught by a breeze, though the window was closed. Nathan twitched in his sleep, his forehead creasing. There was a soft, rushing noise, almost below the audible level, and Amanda leaned back a little, her eyes widening as a faint red-gold glow coalesced in the air, turning into a more-ghostly-looking-than-usual Askani. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she gave Amanda a small, strained smile. "~Little sister,~" she murmured, her voice faint, distinctly troubled.
That one she knew, if only from Nathan using it. "~Greetings, Lady,~" she replied haltingly, trying to think of the Askani for 'what the fuck is going on?' and failing. So she settled for English. "Do you know what's happening to him?" she asked, her tone much softer than would be expected. That Askani looked worried was both heartening (it obviously wasn't the Askani doing this) and disturbing sight. And the lack of solidity didn't bode well either.
Askani was silent for a long moment. She reached out, as if to touch Nathan's face, but her hand went fuzzy and stayed that way until she drew back. "It is... difficult," she said, her English very halting, even more heavily accented than usual. "Difficult to... explain. We... push too hard. He does, also. Then, the circle." She made a vaguely circular gesture in the air, looking frustrated. "It grows, he does not sleep. He cannot maintain... himself, in the midst of us." Her features trembled, as if she was fighting the sudden urge to cry. "He could not hear us."
"His aura's all bent out of shape, I know that," Amanda said, reaching out to Askani despite herself - it was like she imagined it would be like seeing Rom upset (not that she could imagine that), too awful to stand.
Her hand touched... something, but not the apparently-solid psi-form Askani could usually manage. Askani shook her head, still looking distressed. "What he does," she said, still obviously laboring for the words. "To keep us... together, and separate. It is not... conscious. But his unconscious mind... cannot function, unrested. Our energy can sustain him physically, but not in mind." She shook her head again, more violently. "He... bleeds into us. This cannot be! I will not permit it."
"What's t' be done, then?" Amanda asked, but the answer she received was mostly in Askani, the effort of speaking in English clearly too much. She ground her teeth in frustration, then made her mind up. "This is fuckin' ridiculous. I can't understand you, or him right now, an' I can't help if I can't understand." She glanced down at Nathan, seeing the strain in his face, and then back up at Askani, face determined. "You wanted me t' learn? Yer gettin' yer chance. Give me what you gave Alison, if you can manage, that is."
"The strain," Askani said, her eyes flickering back down to Nathan's face. "Not all... not as he is, now. The langya bellaya... our speech, perhaps." She looked up at Amanda, still looking troubled. "Are you certain?"
"I can't see another way 'round it. Me translatin' spells don't work on talkin', just books, an' I have t' know what I can do t' help him. An' help you." Askani's concern for Nate had cinched it for her - no matter the woman's methods and motivations, they had a common cause here. "Give me what you can."
Askani drifted up off the bed, reaching out a hand towards Amanda, her fingertips brushing the girl's forehead. "~Then speak with our words,~" she said, her eyes glowing with red-gold light.
That light exploded behind Amanda's eyes, not in an 'ow, I just got hit in the head with something heavy' kind of way, more like someone had suddenly turned a very bright light on inside her skull. It reminded her a little of the overlap with Manuel, only without the brain-crushing pain. Her fingers tightened on her knees, digging into the denim of her jeans, and a small gasp escaped her. Then Askani took her hand away, and the mind-expanding sensation ceased, replaced by the oddest sensation of things... slotting into place.
"Fuck," she said, or tried to say. It came out as "Flonq," instead and she couldn't help a small grin. "~That's quite the sensation of being drug affected,~" she said to Askani, wrinkling her nose at the formality of the words. Obviously it was one thing to be given the language, another to be able to not sound like a total wanker in it. "~I wish this had been available when I was learning my other languages.~"
Askani looked relieved, almost overwhelmingly so. "~Listen to me, little sister,~" she said rapidly. "~The problem is that our energy can sustain his body, at least for a time, but not his mind. If he does not sleep, he loses the ability to keep himself whole.~" Her eyes bored into Amanda's. "~We are the ocean,~" she said intensely.
Amanda focussed on the words, reminding herself that there was a reason for this and the goofy happy feelings could wait. Luckily it was easier to think through this than being actually high. "~I think I understand, Lady,~" she replied. "~There are so many of you, so much energy, it swallows him?~" She remembered the ocean analogy Jamie had come up with when she was explaining her own powers to him. "~My... own ocean is sometimes overwhelming. I can help him, I think. Help him remember who he is.~" A wry smile crossed her face. "~Beat him with something hard when he is being foolish and not sleeping when he should.~"
Askani sighed. "~You understand,~" she said, weary approval and a hint of something that was almost affection in her voice. "~By the time I did, it was too late. He was not hearing me.~" Her eyes went back to Nathan as she half-turned back towards the bed. "~Such a tangle,~" she said heavily. "~I demanded too much, too soon, and he demands too much of himself. The cost grew too high, too quickly.~"
"~He's a stubborn illegitimate child...~" Amanda screwed up her face at how that sounded and made a visible effort for the English. "Bastard!" she corrected triumphantly, and then went on in Askani again. "~He and I are much alike. I push because there is much to atone for. Him... I'm not sure why. He cares too much for others, and leaves nothing for himself.~" There was a mixture of frustration and concern on her face as she reached out to brush her fingers across his forehead. "~He takes on too great a burden. I'd help carry it, if I knew how.~"
"~We had those like him among the Clan,~" Askani said quietly, sadly. "~Those who came to us from the Canaanites. Usually as adults, when they discovered their consciences. But he...~" She shook her head. "~He broke free as a child from those in this time whom we would call Canaanites, yet he will not, can not truly allow himself to find release. Not from that, not from all the years after spent bound as a weapon. Any weakness, any vulnerability, any failure... the child within is unforgiving and has crippled the man.~"
"~Children can be harsh in their judgement,~" Amanda agreed, thinking of her own 'child within'. "~When you are taught the wrong path, it is no easy task to step from it. And fear makes children of us all.~" She shook her head at the way she was sounding, what she was saying. Romany would have a field day. "~He was taught, like me, to hate his weakness. Weakness brings punishment. And failure harms those who would care for us.~"
Askani looked back at Nathan, almost anxiously. "~I cannot maintain my manifestation for much longer,~ she said. "~He cannot spend the energy. Tell Xavier and Moira, through Alison if you must, that he must sleep, for as long as possible. I can feel the boundaries resetting themselves even now, but it will take time. We will do what we can from within.~"
The girl nodded. "~I can see to that, Lady. And I'll watch over him, until Moira returns.~" Her mouth quirked a little, amused. "~I shall watch him from without, that is.~"
"~I know you will, Amanda,~" Askani said, and a brief, startling smile flashed across her features for a moment, her green eyes lighting with it. "~How does the world look through our eyes, little one?~" she asked, fading into an indistinct glow that lingered for a moment before vanishing completely.
Blinking at the after-images, Amanda spun her chair back towards her desk, preparing to write the promised email. "~You need better swear words,~" she said in reply, grinning a little as she began to type.
