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[x-mactaggart.livejournal.com]

Nathan finally wakes up Moira, a little afraid of how she's going to react to everything. They talk about why he didn't say anything and she points out there are other ways besides drugs to help him sleep.



The books were right again. Nathan finished leafing through the last of the piles he'd pulled off the shelves, unutterably relieved when all he saw was English, not indecipherable squiggles. Laying it back down atop the others with slightly shaky hands, he turned to regard Moira, still curled up on the bed. Time to face the music, he supposed, and went over and sat down beside her, reaching out tentatively and brushing a stray lock of red hair back from her face. Part of him really didn't want to wake her up, but he had the strong impression that vanishing, even if it was only to the shower, would not be a good thing if she woke up and found him not here.

#Moira?# he called softly, almost fearfully down the link. #Love?#

The gentle tugging on the link drew Moira out of the deep sleep she had inadvertently fallen into. The flight back had been unusually rough and from the landing onward, things certainly hadn't gotten any better. Murmuring slightly, her eyes fluttered open as she struggled to get past the exhaustion from the time changes. #Nathan?#

"Hey," he said aloud, gently, his stomach twisting with guilt. "I... uh, I guess I missed you at the airport." He tried to smile. It didn't come out particularly convincing.

A shudder ran through her slightly, a lot of the guilty thoughts were running down the link. "Aye, ye did. But I got Cain on me cellphone." She paused the wipe the sleep from her eyes. "Ye're th' one payin' for 'is steak dinner."

"Cain..." Nathan bit his lip, shaking his head slowly. "I was down at the boathouse," he said hesitantly. "Watching the Mets game with him..." It was the last real clear thing he recalled.

Moira slowly sat up, rubbing the back of her neck to ease the tension out of the muscles. "Wha's been goin' on, Nathan?" she asked, worried.

Nathan sighed, shifting upwards on the bed so that he could lean against the headboard. He still felt a little dizzy. "All that not-sleeping catching up with me, I guess," he said, and then smiled hesitantly. "I can hear them, though," he said, listening to the Askani murmuring in the back of his head.

"Better than before when we talked?" Moira frowned. Why hadn't she seen that he hadn't been sleeping? It was fairly obvious now and she hated that.

"They're back to normal," he said, and then paused, contemplating what a funny word that was to use in this particular situation. "I can hear their voices, not just the buzzing."

"Good." Turning to face him directly, she tucked her legs under her and draped her arms over her knees. "Why dinnae ye say anythin'?" Moira asked quietly.

Nathan swallowed. "I... didn't think it was a big deal, at first," he said hoarsely, forcing himself to keep eye contact. "Just another night or so where I didn't sleep well... but then it kept happening, and I just..." He stumbled over the words, to a stop. "I don't know," he said very quietly. "I wasn't trying to keep it from you, I was just... afraid to sleep."

Reaching out, she grabbed his hand gently. "Why? Wha's 'appened tha' made ye afraid ta sleep?"

"I don't know," Nathan said uncertainly, trying to put it into words. It was hard - the second half of the week was definitely on the blurry side, in retrospect. "Just that... stuff was happening, or was going to happen, and if I didn't stay alert..." He laughed a bit bitterly. "Not that I was particularly alert, I suppose."

"'ave they offered any opinion or 'elp advice, at lease? I mean maybe they know wha's goin' on?" She paused. "'opefully, at least."

Nathan took a deep breath. Between what Amanda had told him, and what Askani herself had told him while he'd been browsing the books, making sure his English was back to what it should be, he thought he had a fairly clear idea of what had happened. "It was the lack of sleep," he said quietly. "I was running off their psi-energy, but apparently I can't do that. If I don't sleep, I can't keep them all... organized in my head, and I start slipping."

Moira thought about that, mulling it over. "Tha' makes sense. Unless yer mutation directly deals wit' channelin' energy like tha', Jono for example, yer body isnae equiped ta 'andle tha' kind o' strain. Ye may want ta go on a schedule, love...food as well."

Nathan sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah," he said, inwardly tensing at the idea of more drugs. He tried to muster up a smile, looking back at her. "Why were you dreaming about hitting me with a nerf bat?"

"Ye scared a good few years off me life, tha’s why," she joked, reaching over to poke him in the stomach. Moira paused. "Sweetie, I dinnae mean more drugs. I meant a *schedule*. As in bed certain time every day, food on a regular basis."

"I could probably eat, even if I'm not hungry," Nathan said edgily, "but what about sleep, Moira?"

"Ye need to remind yer body tha' it needs rest." She gave him a Look. "Wha' 'appened ta those meditation exercises I 'ad ye doin' when ye first came ta me an' couldnae sleep because o' th' virus?"

#I could teach you some as well, little brother,# Askani added, almost eagerly, and Nathan blinked. Moira gave him a quizzical look, and he smiled a bit hesitantly at her.

"Askani just... said she could teach me their meditation, too," he explained, and then sighed, shaking his head. "It hadn't even occurred to me," he confessed. "Your exercises, asking them if they had any suggestions... I suppose that makes me even more of an idiot."

"Jus' a sleep deprived one," she pointed out. "Ye try an' do all this stuff on yer own when ye forget ye 'ave people ye can turn ta."

Nathan peered at her for a moment and then winced, realizing just what a slap in the face this had to be for her. He squeezed her hand gently, his eyes dropping to the bed. "I... I'll make sure I don't forget how stupid I've been," he said hoarsely. "Learning from mistakes... good idea."

"Aye, it 'tis. I worry 'bout ye Nathan, even more when there really is somethin' ta worry 'bout." She smiled at him. "Cannae stop tha', but ye can start takin' better care o' yerself."

Nathan smiled back, a bit wanly. "I'm really glad you're home," he said.

"So am I." Straightening her legs, Moira finally pushed herself into his lap, snuggling against him tightly.

He wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes. The Askani were murmuring still, almost happily now. "I wonder if there's a line of people waiting to hit me with nerf bats," he muttered.

"Knowin' this school?" she muttered into his neck. "Probably." A deep breath. "Ye scared me..."

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm so sorry, love..." Time he stopped doing this to her, he thought doggedly. She had seen him when he was vulnerable often enough, he shouldn't have such a problem with it...

#Nay, ye shouldnae,# she sent to him, catching the stray thought. Nathan must be tired, she knew, to be leaking that badly. #Nay goin' ta judge or change me mind 'bout ye.#

"You keep telling me that," Nathan murmured wearily. "One of these days it'll sink in. Very thick skull, you know."

"I know." With a sigh, Moira reached up to kiss him. #One o' these days, ye'll realize I'm nay leavin'.#

"I think I could actually sleep a little longer," Nathan confessed quietly. "Did.. you have to be anywhere this afternoon?"

"Nay 'ave ta go anywhere," Moira murmured. "Could use more sleep meself, really. Awful flight 'ome."

Nathan pulled back a little, giving her a slightly lopsided smile. "I could probably use a shower," he said, "before I do anything else. Why don't you lay back down, and I'll just be a few minutes..."

"Dinnae be ta long?" she asked, suddenly not wanting to be very far from him.

"I won't," he reassured her, pressing his lips against her forehead for a moment. "I promise."

"Good," Moira murmured, feeling sleep tug on her again. The link buzzed slightly and it felt warm in her mind, a good kind of warmth. "I'll be waitin'."