Jubilee and Nathan log.

[x-jubilee.livejournal.com]

Backdated: Friday, 2nd July 2004. Sunrise.



Jubilee stretched her arms up over her head as she stood on one of the fabric mats she'd placed on the grass near the lake. It was early morning, just as the sun was rising and she was waiting for Nathan to arrive to start their Tai Chi session. She was dressed in the clothes she usually used for self defence class, sweats and a tight shirt. She'd learnt the value of not having clothing people could too easily use to throw you.

Jubilee had been worried about Nate after she'd seen his journal entry but he seemed okay now, hopefully showing him some Tai Chi would help him out a bit.

Nathan smiled as he came down the path from the house and spotted Jubilee already there. "Better a few days late than never, huh?" he said good-humoredly as he joined her. She grinned at him, and Nathan decided that the shenanigans with Moira last night had been a very good idea. He was in a far better mood than he had been for days, and if he relaxed a little more before heading off to the session with Manuel, it could only be a good thing.

Jubilee motioned him toward the spare mat, while continuing her own stretching.

"You gotta stretch first, then we'll do some warm up exercises. Can't have you pullin' somethin'."

Nathan nodded and set about stretching, watching her thoughtfully. Jubilee was one of the students he hadn't really had much interaction with up until the beginning of the language courses, and he wasn't sure what to make of her just yet. There was obvious tension between her and Amanda, but he didn't know enough about it to be having an opinion.

"Generally up this early?" he inquired lightly.

Jubilee laughed suddenly. "God no, I'm usually the hideous swearing monster hidden under my bed covers at this time of morning. Kitty used to have fun listening to me invent swear words when she'd wake me up for classes in the morning. Least, when I'm not being a crazy insomniac who won't sleep due to nightmares. That wasn't exactly my smartest move in the world. But, that's mostly fixed now, Samson helped with that. Totally helped, talking to someone about everything."

Jubilee paused, looking over at Nathan. "I'm like, not going to lecture you or anythin' by the way, just case you were wonderin'. Can't really talk myself, after all. Well, that and the fact that I don't know you well enough yet to kick your ass. And, of course, teacher, so you'd probably put me on detention or somethin' if I tried. So, you know, anyway, thought the sunrise would be nice for you, this bein' the first time you've done Tai Chi and all. It's somethin' you can pretty much do any time of day but my cousin always thought morning was the best time. He used to love the energy the rising sun gave him."

"I like sunrises," Nathan said with a bit of a grin for how inane it sounded. "And I appreciate the lack of lecturing. Not that I haven't deserved most of the ones I've gotten in the last week, but, you know, I'm really not all that fond of them..." He finished stretching, wincing a little as his shoulder protested. Jubilee gave him a questioning look and he smiled quickly at her. "Still a little sore," he explained. "And hey, I hope none of these forms consist of putting all your weight on your right leg?"

Jubilee shook her head. "Not unless I want Moira to kill me for causin' her boyfriend an injury." She stood, and faced Nathan. "Right, first things first, we'll do a little neck work, we're gonna warm up muscles individually. When you're doin' it, think about the muscles. Think about what each of them does and how it all works together to create one perfect whole. My cousin Quan used to use Tai Chi to focus his powers, and he started teachin' me some of the techniques before I left. Considerin' he had the same powers as me, that's kinda helped me start gettin' back on track now that I've got the collar off."

Jubilee smiled, realised she was babbling and took her own advice as she started moving her head, first placing her chin against her chest and then lifting it up and back as far as she could.

Nathan watched for a moment, then mimicked her. "Energy-based powers take a different type of focus, I'd think," he murmured. "Are you glad to have the collar off?"

Jubilee started moving her head from one side to the other, keeping her head straight.

"Yeah, mostly cause havin' it off means I've dealt with the stuff that made them put me in it in the first place. Well, not completely dealt with, but Samson said he was confident I wouldn't be blowing things up due to flashbacks anymore."

Jubilee paused and watched Nathan for a moment, noting that he was a quick study and seemed to not need a lot of verbal instruction. Considering this was the first time she'd ever tried to teach someone else Tai Chi, that was a good thing.

"It put me back a lot, bein' in the collar. Control wise, and power wise. Got ta work twice as hard as anyone else in the power control classes now just ta get back to where I was. But, guess it helps that I actually care now. Before, was just somethin' I did cause they told me to, didn't think they'd let me stay otherwise."

"Sometimes it takes you a while to find your motivation," Nathan observed, following her next movements precisely. "Having the luxury of that time is something to be appreciated."

"You didn't?" Jubilee asked, her tone non-committal. Either Nathan would answer her, or he wouldn't. She wasn't about to push for information.

Jubilee stood, her legs apart and raised her arms to chest level, so they formed a circle between her hands and the middle of her chest. Rotating, she lifted her right arm slowly upwards towards her left side, and then came back to the circle position before doing the same with the other arm. "The hand position at the start is called 'Embracing the tree'" she murmured, before continuing.

"No, I didn't," Nathan said evenly, following her lead. "One of the many reasons I appreciate this place. It gives you and your fellow students some very impressive opportunities."

Jubilee grinned suddenly, continuing the warm up exercise. "Dude, did I just hear you use teacher voice? Cause, you know, that's where it all starts. Soon enough you'll be wearing shorts with socks up to your knees and loafers."

She brought her hands back into 'embracing the tree' and paused a moment, resting. "But yeah, we get a lot of opportunities here. Not somethin' I'd screw up willingly, even if they do make me do math. Cause seriously, Dude, math should be banned by the Geneva convention."

"You won't catch me disagreeing," Nathan said amiably. "Not a math person myself. Languages, history, even philosophy... but definitely not math." He followed her as she moved into the next position. "This is relaxing," he said, and could have snorted at how surprised he sounded.

Jubilee snickered, shaking her head. "You sound surprised. Although, you speed some of the stuff I'm gonna show you up enough and it becomes a bonafide martial art. The slower way is better if you're wantin' to focus though. Gives you time to concentrate on each move and figure out where it sits in the greater scheme of things. You do it long enough and you stop concentrating on just the moves and start trying to figure out where you fit as well. And here I'm bein' all philosophical like all of a sudden. Most people, they just do it cause it's good exercise, you can take or leave the theory behind it if ya want. Guess that's like life, right?"

She was deeper than she liked to let on, Nathan thought with a flash of amusement. Seemed to be a moderately common trait around here. "I think I'll stick with using it as exercise," he said. "I need to work on being a little less 'martial' these days, I think."

Jubilee nodded, flicking the braid she'd put her hair in this morning back over a shoulder. "Okay, next exercise then."

Placing her feet slightly apart she placed her hands in the 'embracing the tree' position and then slowly placed them parallel to her body and raised them above her head, when she got to eye level with them, she started moving them inwards till her hands were clasped above her head, her body an elegant arch. Standing that way for a moment, she slowly brought her hands downwards, keeping them parallel with her body and letting them drift downwards till her hands were curled against the ground, palm upwards. "You need to keep your legs straight here." she said, her voice softly muffled. "And Dude, don't let your ass stick out either. Oh, and if you can't get your fingers to touch the ground yet, don't worry, the flexibility'll come to ya in time."

Jubilee wasn't entirely sure what training Nathan had received before, so thought it wise to warn him in case he tried to push himself. She'd been doing gymnastics for years, so Tai Chi had built on that. "I kinda had an advantage when I first started this, with the gymnastics and all." she admitted.

Nathan tried to mimic her movements, but stopped, grimacing in pain as his shoulder protested. He straightened, tottering a little as his bad leg added its two cents' worth. "Whoops," he said, mustering a smile as Jubilee looked at him, concerned.

"Maybe that's enough for today." she said, sitting herself down on the mat. She motioned for him to sit across from her. "Tai Chi is something you take your time at, Dude. So, like, don't think I'm bein' soft on ya or anythin'. You do each section till you know it off by heart, then you move onto the next. So, if ya like what you've seen, we can do this each morning. It'll be just the warm up exercises for awhile but once ya get those we can move on. You'll be helpin' me too, since teachin' someone else gives me focus, least that's what Quan told me it did for
him."

Jubilee grinned suddenly. "Dude, just had a perfect thought if you're cool with it. We could do the lessons in Mandarin, would give me the chance to practice with that too."

Nathan laughed, lowering himself down onto the mat and stretching out his leg carefully. "Sure, why not," he said, then switched to Mandarin. "~Though I can't commit to every morning - a few times a week, certainly, but my days seem to be getting more and more crowded lately.~"

Jubilee nodded, smiling. "~That's alright, I use this spot for it all the time, so if you've got the time , just come by.~" She paused for a moment, and then motioned to his shoulder. "~I knew you had a bad leg, but I was
not aware you had an injured shoulder also. I am sorry if the warm-up aggravated it.~"

Nathan shrugged with his good shoulder, smiling. "~No need for apologies,~" he assured her. "~It's healing up nicely, thanks to Amanda's spells. Honestly, I'd rather have the pain every so often than the numbness I was getting at first. We thought there would be nerve damage for a while.~"

"~Amanda is good at healing.~" she conceded, it was the truth after all.

Nathan smirked briefly. "~Did it hurt?~" he asked. Jubilee blinked at him. "~Admitting that, I mean. Don't think I haven't noticed the two of you.~"

"~It is not dishonorable to admit to an enemy's strengths.~" Jubilee quoted. Jubilee shook her head suddenly. "~But, that is being somewhat untruthful. She is not an enemy. She is… someone who angers me but I cannot say why. It is hard to name what she is to me, not enemy, not friend.~"

"Dude, she just pushes all the buttons, so don't know why." Jubilee said finally, switching to English for a moment.

"You don't always have to get along with people," Nathan said frankly. "But it's better to understand why you don't, if you don't. Might be something you want to spend some thought on."

Jubilee nodded, her expression thoughtful. "I know where it started. When she first got here, she just seemed like she thought she was all that and I was so not wantin' someone around causin' trouble when I'd just realised I could think of this place as home. Dude, I'm not what you'd call diplomatic. I said some things that were probably the worst possible things to say if I'd wanted us ta get along. After that, been things said by both of us that makes it impossible to be right with each other, I'm thinkin'. Dude, you're totally right, I don't have to like everyone but it's not hate. Not like other people would think of it, anyhow. Least, not for me. Dude, hate has a way of hurtin' the person hatin' more then the one they're hatin' too much for me ta want ta go there. But why does she get on my nerves so much I want to drown her right now? Cause she rubs my face in the fact that she's better at school then me. Cause once I used ta get straight A's in every class and now it's hard ta even pay attention long enough to not fail. She totally knows it's one of my buttons but she just keeps on fuckin' pushin' it."

Jubilee breathed in deeply, calming herself as she noticed the small multicoloured sparks appearing around her fingertips. "Sorry, it's been awhile since I had to control these things, they still get away from me sometimes. You asked before if I was happy ta be out of the collar. And I said, that I was. It wasn't just the powers side, it was all of it. It kept remindin' me about how invisible I am ta people round here, that no one noticed I was even havin' trouble dealin' with stuff till I almost blew up the boathouse. Don't think Cain's ever gonna forgive me for that, either."

Jubilee shook her head, finally allowing the breathing exercises to calm her. "Sorry. I mean, I could have asked for help, right? So, in the end, it
was my bad more then there's. And yer not Sampson, so s'not like I got a right ta whinge ta you about my relationships with other students. ."

"Hey, I asked," Nathan said easily, giving her a quick smile. "Or opened the door, at least." The smile turned a little wistful as he mulled over one particular comment she'd made. "Do you still feel like you're invisible?" he asked.

Jubilee thought about it, examined her feelings on the subject for what was possibly the first time.

"Sometimes. Not cause people don't care about me, cause there are people that do. Just, cause I can't feel like anyone really knows me here, except perhaps the telepaths cause well, you know. It's not even that some don't try. Kitty's probably the one I'm closest too and sometimes Marie-Ange when she's not bein' all disgusted with me. It's like, you can't share the big stuff in general conversation. I can't tell em that I'm crabby cause it's the anniversary of the day my parents were killed right in front of me. I can't tell em that the reason I never needed to be shown how ta do laundry is cause it was either do it or have my drunk foster father take it outta my hide. I get told livin' in a mall was some kinda easy life, cause eatin' outta garbage cans when you can't afford real food is a real picnic." She sighed, wondering if she sounded like the whiney child she felt like. "Dude, those things. They aren't somethin' you tell people just like that. It's not somethin' you use ta score points in an argument or to get sympathy and sometimes I feel like the moment I said anythin' about them, it's what they'd all think. I killed someone, back when the soldiers came and I still don't think most of them even know that. Don't think any of them really know why I got put in that collar. I've been Jubes, the irresponsible kid so long, seems sometimes like people wouldn't believe it if I was anythin' else."

"Sometimes the masks we put on become too comfortable," Nathan said after a moment. "People look at them and think they're looking us in the face, but they're not." He smiled faintly. "Throwing the mask away is harder than it seems. It takes people a while to recognize the stranger staring back at them. Sometimes it takes you a while to recognize yourself in the mirror, too."

Jubilee nodded, thoughtful. "You sound like you've had some experience."

"In a way," Nathan said, not elaborating. "It's all change, Jubilee. Changing other people's perceptions of you is sometimes every bit as difficult as changing yourself."

She nodded, taking in what he's said. "So, where do you start? I mean, some of them might see me still watchin' cartoons as childish but I don't want to give that up, just cause adults aren't supposed to like 'em. So, what lines do ya draw, ya know? There's gotta be somethin' inside that's not negotiable, right?"

"I said changing people's perceptions of you was difficult," Nathan pointed out with a smile. "Not that it was always a priority, or worth compromising the things you won't negotiate." He thought for a moment. "If you're determined to make it a priority, though, you have to prioritize. What can you let go of and still be content with yourself? What do you need to keep, to stay you?"

She thought about that, weighing things and trying to think of herself from an outside perspective. "Well, I guess maybe I can tone down the whole attitude thing. S'not like I really need to be that loud and bouncy all the time. But the clothes, and the cartoons would stay. And so not giving up my Tweety bird slippers, those are like, a creative artistic statement of... well, they're yellow and yellow is always fun. Maybe just try to show people that I do care about things, I know sometimes it seems like I'm walkin' through life dreamin'. I mean, I've already started on the talkin' to more people thing. Cause I sorta totally isolated myself when I was in the collar."

She grinned at him. "Guess you're the first teacher I've really tried talkin' to, too. Other than Lorna, anyhow. So, how am I doin' at that by the by?"

Nathan chuckled. "Not bad," he said lightly. "Forthright, thoughtful... I've had far less productive conversations with students so far, trust me."

She grinned back, her expression playful. "My Great Grandfather would kick my ass five ways from Sunday if I was ever deliberately rude to a teacher but yer cool as well, so ya make it easy to be open too. And, I like totally gotta let ya get back to the school, considerin' we're pretty much done here."

"All right then," Nathan said, smiling as he rose a bit awkwardly to his feet. "Thanks, Jubilee. I really enjoyed this."

Jubilee stood and started to pick up the mats. "Dude, it was fun. I promise next time we'll do exercises that won't bump that shoulder so much."