Lorna, Warren, and the Stupid Pet Policy

[x-angel.livejournal.com]

Warren sat down at a desk in the library to survey the damage that had been done to him. His black slacks were covered with short dog hairs, there were a couple of wet spots where the dog had tried to lick him, and some of his feathers had fallen loose. "Stupid pet policy," he muttered, brushing himself off.

The sound had Lorna's head snapping up from where she was reading. "Oh, Warren, hey." She surveyed him for a moment, watching his futile battle against the pet hair, "What are you doing?"

He rolled his eyes at her. "Cleaning off after having been attacked by one of those adorable new additions to the mansion. I think it was Angelo's new dog, this time." He picked at a few stray hairs that had landed on his shirt. "Stupid pet policy."

"You can say that again." She closed her book and rested her arms on it. "You saw my kitchen policy. Seriously, if I could extend it beyond the kitchen to, like, the entire house I so would." She made a face. "Pets are outside things."

"Thank you!" Warren agreed emphatically. "My sentiments exactly. It's one thing to have someone like Rahne roaming about the house in animal form-- she's still human, you know?-- but Spot or Rover or whatever the hell these little brats are called need to get out and stay out. They keep trying to play with my wings!"

"Rahne is a wonderfully polite young woman with a great deal of sense. She's more than welcome in my kitchen," Lorna nodded firmly. "However anything that sheds and has more hair than sense isn't. I think that these people don't understand the concept of food-borne illness." She shook her head, "Honestly, if they had a little training maybe it would be better but they all obey about as well as their owners."

"Agreed." He let out an exaggerated sigh. "And then when you complain, people just laugh and exclaim 'But they're so cute!'" He held up a broken feather. "But no amount of cute is going to fix my feathers. And no amount of cute is going to stop us from getting salmonella because Sarah's dog decided it would be fun to dig through the pantry."

Lorna winced, "Your poor wings." Her eyes narrowed, "That dog better not have been going through my pantry. I can find recipes for dog meat."

Warren laughed. "I'd help you find them." He groaned. "We really need a better way to keep these animals from running us all over. Isn't there anyone who's allergic to cats, or dogs, or something? Can't we at least put them on leashes?"

"Or cages. And really, it's not that I don't like animals. I would like a dog myself someday when I have my house with the white picket fence. But that's later, years from now when I'm not having to consider fifty other people's feelings."

He nodded. "Think there's anyway we could convince the staff to at least tighten the pet policy? Just a bit?"

"We could try bribery." Lorna offered, then shrugged, "Most dorms will only allow aquarium pets but somehow I don't think we have a chance here. I don't know how a house this size can feel claustraphobic but," she shook her head, "it's just too many creatures for comfort, you know?"

Warren frowned. "There's nothing we can do?... Maybe we could agree on a few places that are strictly off-limits for pets, or get them to enforce some sort of leash rule, or something...?" he suggested.

"That's..." Lorna started to protest, then stopped, "Actually, that's a good idea. There's no reason there can't be pet-free places. It's like smoking--some of us don't and shouldn't have to suffer because others do." She rested her hand on her chin, thinking it through, "Cain would probably be on our side. Bet he would be happy to outlaw pets from the grand ballroom for instance or the formal living room."

Warren nodded, excited. "Or the kitchen. Yeah, I bet he would. I'm ready to do something about this right now. Who do you think we should talk to first? Cain or Xavier?"

"The Professor is probably the one who will make the final decision so let's lean on Cain first. Can't hurt to have back up." Lorna chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully, "I think the kitchen is already pretty much off-limits but I wouldn't mind having it backed up by the Professor."

Warren checked his watch. "I don't have to be anywhere anytime soon... Up for a little trip?"

Lorna nodded, "Yeah. I was pretty much done here. I have to get dinner started in a bit but if we make this quick, I'm okay."

"Good." Warren extended his arm for her to take. "Come, milady. We have work to do."

Comments

[x-marrow.livejournal.com]

Actually Oscar's already not allowed out of the basement without either Sarah or Shinobi on the other end of the leash. So there. :P

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

A fact which would have Lorna applauding and holding them up as a role model if she knew. But she doesn't because it's much easier to have a blanket dislike of all animals.

[x-angel.livejournal.com]

Ditto.

But thanks anyway, Sarah and Shinobi.

[x-rahne.livejournal.com]

Rahne got Xavier to check on allergies before she started the shelter thing. *blows kisses* All out of luck.

[x-angel.livejournal.com]

Psh. We're still going to try :)

[x-rahne.livejournal.com]

If Bella cusses you out, you totally deserve it. ;)

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

Angelo says his puppy doesn't run around the house by herself, either. Hence him shutting her in his room when he went merc-sitting. But I suppose she might not have been alone when she attacked Warren...

[x-angel.livejournal.com]

Yes. Sorry about that. Alan pointed out after the log that I should have asked you first. Won't happen again.

And since it wasn't a real attack, it's very possible that the dog wasn't alone and that whoever was with the dog perceived it simply as a puppy being cute and, y'know, puppy-like. Warren just hates animals and would prefer to never be around them, ever.

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

We'll say that's what it was. *grin* And Lorna can rest assured she'll be going nowhere near the kitchen, and whatever other areas your two manage to get declared pet-free. ;)

[x-vega.livejournal.com]

Even adorable kitties with impeccable taste? *pout*

[x-colossus.livejournal.com]

I love that kitty!!

[x-angel.livejournal.com]

So do I, but Warren hates it.

[x-rahne.livejournal.com]

Mental note for Rahne: Do not tell Warren detailed stories about spending several weeks in a pack of wolves.

Also, boyfriend may not visit. ;)

[x-havok.livejournal.com]

But what would Lorna say to a Turtle hmm? Or else, Alex is going to have to scratch is wonderful idea for a Christmas gift.

[x-angel.livejournal.com]

I don't think she'd mind turtles. Since they stay in their aquariums and don't make any noise. Really, it's almost like having no pet at all. :)

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Will it have a surfer accent? Because that would be cool.

Aquarium animals are fine. Things that molt/shed/what have you are not. It's also very likely that Lorna would only extend her pet policy as far as other people's pets. She's not above lots of hypocrisy.