Moira and Shinobi
Aug. 16th, 2004 04:30 pmAfter Scott's visit, Moira makes her way down to see Shinobi. They talk about guilt and blame and manage to cry all over each other.
Moira leaned against the door the room that Scott had said Shinobi was in. The concussion was fading but it still left her incredibly groggy and disoriented, not to mention the lights bothering her. She had been preparing to make good her escape to her own room--doctors do make the worst patients--when Scott had stopped her, letting her know that Shinobi wanted to talk to her. Raising her hand, she knocked on the door and then opened it. "Can I come in?" Moira asked, surprised her voice was so steady and calm after everything.
The room was dimly lit - his own concussion meant that light was not something he was particularly fond of, either, at the moment - but it didn't take a genius to figure out where he was. Shinobi made a groggy noise, ignoring his head's protests as he tried to lift it to peer towards the door, trying to focus on whoever was in the doorway. It was a bit easier now, but things were still a bit blurry. "Moira?" he asked hoarsely, blinking once before carefully dropping his head back onto his pillow. "Please do."
He looked like death warmed over, Moira noted, closing the door behind her. The crying jag she had early meant that she wouldn't randomly break down into hysterical sobbing--not for some time, anyway. Crossing the floor, she pulled the visitor's chair closer to the bed and sat, wincing slightly. There had been no major injuries, just some bruising on her face and the self-made concussion, along with some general bruising in other places. Though the pain in her heart was worse at this point. "Ye look like crap," she commented softly, repeating her thoughts.
"Feel like crap, too," he replied, mustering up a small smile as he lolled his head to the side, so he could actually look at Moira while he spoke. If his head complained about the movement - too bad. He would just have to deal with it. "You okay?" He paused a moment, and grimaced. "...physically, I mean." He could guess as to the rest.
"Physically?" A small smile crossed her face. "I've 'ad worse. Been better, though."
"Me too. My.. everything, hurts. What I get for having a building dropped on my head, I guess." He chuckled quietly, and winced as his ribs protested. Ow. Okay. No more chuckling.
Concern flooded Moira's face. If she concentrated on others, she rationalized, she wouldn't have to face the fact that she wanted to curl into a little ball and cry for days. "Ye need anythin'?" she asked, quietly, watching him.
Shinobi paused to think about this for a moment. "Water?" he asked hopefully. "Something wet, anyway. Possibly also a hug, so long as you stay away from the ribs for it."
Another smile, though this one stayed a little longer. "Aye, 'an' on a second an' I'll get th' first an' then I'll give ye th' second one." The chair made a slight noise as she moved it back but she moved pretty fast in the room and returned soon with a full glass of water. "'ere ye go." Moira waited until he had drunk his fill before leaning over to give him a hug, biting back tears. "God, I'm so sorry."
He guzzled down as much water as he could without drowning himself, but he was obviously more interested in the hug. He ignored his body's very loud complaints as he reached up to wrap his arms around Moira's shoulders, his face soon finding itself buried against the woman's shirt. "I think that's my line," he replied unsteadily, squeezing his eyes closed. "I was useless, Moira.. if I'd just been better.."
She shook her head and took in a deep breath, no urge at all to pull away. "Nay yer fault," she got out, blinking back the tears. "None o' ye could 'ave known 'ow powerful they would be. They fight dirty--"
"But I couldn't even phase, and that's my damned name," Shinobi whimpered, clinging to her for dear life. "It was too loud."
Moira focused all on Shinobi, pushing aside the ball of guilt and terror that was still stuck in her stomach. "Ye cannae blame yerself for anythin' tha' 'appened," she told him. "Blame Mistra, this is all their bloody fault. But please, Shinobi, dinnae blame yerself."
He smiled weakly, leaning his head back just enough to peek up towards Moira, not entirely sure if he was still having trouble focusing or if it was just the tears making things blurry. "I don't. Not entirely, anyway. But I still should have been able to do a lot more than getting my arse kicked."
"They've been trainin' those guys since they were kids," Moira said, jaw trembling at the thought. And Nathan being back with them--she should never have gone alone to the city. She bit back a sob and tried again. "They 'ad th' right people ta take ye guys down."
"He did know who I was," Shinobi admitted quietly, blinking to try and clear his vision.. and finally managed to focus, just in time to notice Moira's jaw trembling. With a small frown, he chanced a slight shake of his head. "We'll get him back."
She pulled back enough to wipe a shaking eye with one hand. "I know," Moira whispered tightly. "'e'll be fine once we get 'im back." A sniffle escaped her and she cursed, pushing her hair out of her face. "I shouldnae 'ave gone inta town tha' day..."
"It's not your fault, either," Shinobi stated firmly, reaching up to give Moira a light poke in the nose, grateful he had his ability to see straight back enough that he could actually aim properly. Poking her in the eye would not have been very good.
A blink and then a sigh. "Tryin' ta nay blame meself either," she admitted, putting her head in her hands. "If'n I keep tellin' meself 'e'll be okay, 'e 'as ta be, aye?"
"He's too stubborn not to be. Just watch. When he gets back, he's going to scold both of us for getting all woe-is-me about it." He grinned a little. "Since I doubt I'll be in any shape to ride off to the rescue with the others, because there will be one.. want to keep me company 'til he's back?"
Moira nodded. "Aye, I will. Tha'll 'elp keep me sane as well." She started to go one but suddenly found herself tearing up even more. "Ach, 'ell..."
Shinobi smiled faintly, and lightly patted his own shoulder. "Your turn," he said gently, with a faintly questioning tilt of his head, albeit a very small one. "I'd sit up for it, but I think you'd be honor-bound to scold me for that."
A part of her, the part that kept her going through the kidnapping, told her no. That to be strong, you had to ignore all the pain and just kept going. Luckily for Moira's ulcer, the other part of her overrode that and she found herself burying her head into the non-injured part of Shinobi, sobbing quietly.
Awkwardly due to his position, he loosely curled one arm around Moira's shoulders, his other hand automatically moving to stroke at her hair. "They're going to get him back," he murmured quietly, swallowing past a lump in his throat. "You'll see."
"I'm so bloody scared tha' they cannae get 'im back," she whispered, tears still falling. "'Tis goin' ta break 'im, 'avin' ta go back ta them. Some o' them think 'tis a bloody bi' family--they want 'im back in th' fold."
"They aren't as big as this family," Shinobi countered, his voice quiet, but hard. "And we're going in angry. There won't be enough of them left to fill a bucket when we get Nate back from them."
She sniffled and raised her head, wiping her eyes again. "I think I broke one o' their arms," Moira said, trying to drag herself back up so she could stop crying so much.
"I think I did, too.. just not the same way." Shinobi offered her a wobbly grin. "That would have been a little more satisfying, I think."
A matched wobbly grin crossed her face. "Makes me feel better anyway." A few minutes of comfortable silence passed between them before she spoke again. "I'm goin' ta try an' 'ope for th' best. I'm jus' startin' ta run so verra low lately."
"With everyone here hoping for the same thing, it's bound to come true," Shinobi reasoned quietly. "Stranger things have happened. Maybe we have a reality manipulator in our midst and we just don't know it."
Moira froze at the words "reality manipulator" but forced herself to relax. Kevin had been in her thoughts a lot lately, flipping back and forth between him and Nathan during her kidnapping. "Maybe," she said, quietly.
Shinobi regarded Moira quietly for a moment before reaching up to give her another light poke in the nose. "You should have some tea," he murmured. "And some sleep. Or at least a light doze."
She gave him a tight smile and reached for his hand to give it a squeeze. "I'll try. Wit' th' sleep part, tha' is. Nay sure 'ow much I can catch right now. Ta much worry in me mind." With a sigh, she realized she was also worried about the nightmares.
"If you have trouble, you can come back in here and make sure any visitors don't speak too loudly," Shinobi offered, returning the squeeze and smiling faintly. "My head still hurts."
"I'll keep tha' in mind," Moira said softly. Bending over, she gave Shinobi another long hug, careful to mind his ribs. "Get some rest yerself an' dinnae think 'bout th' fight, all right?"
"I'm not one to argue a doctor's orders," Shinobi agreed as he returned the hug, smiling tiredly. "I'll try my best."
"Good." With a quiet sigh, she pulled back, already missing the reassurance of a physical touch. "I'll stop in later, aye?" Turning she headed towards the door, her head throbbing already again. Moira smiled tiredly at Shinobi as she left, closing the door quietly behind her.
Moira leaned against the door the room that Scott had said Shinobi was in. The concussion was fading but it still left her incredibly groggy and disoriented, not to mention the lights bothering her. She had been preparing to make good her escape to her own room--doctors do make the worst patients--when Scott had stopped her, letting her know that Shinobi wanted to talk to her. Raising her hand, she knocked on the door and then opened it. "Can I come in?" Moira asked, surprised her voice was so steady and calm after everything.
The room was dimly lit - his own concussion meant that light was not something he was particularly fond of, either, at the moment - but it didn't take a genius to figure out where he was. Shinobi made a groggy noise, ignoring his head's protests as he tried to lift it to peer towards the door, trying to focus on whoever was in the doorway. It was a bit easier now, but things were still a bit blurry. "Moira?" he asked hoarsely, blinking once before carefully dropping his head back onto his pillow. "Please do."
He looked like death warmed over, Moira noted, closing the door behind her. The crying jag she had early meant that she wouldn't randomly break down into hysterical sobbing--not for some time, anyway. Crossing the floor, she pulled the visitor's chair closer to the bed and sat, wincing slightly. There had been no major injuries, just some bruising on her face and the self-made concussion, along with some general bruising in other places. Though the pain in her heart was worse at this point. "Ye look like crap," she commented softly, repeating her thoughts.
"Feel like crap, too," he replied, mustering up a small smile as he lolled his head to the side, so he could actually look at Moira while he spoke. If his head complained about the movement - too bad. He would just have to deal with it. "You okay?" He paused a moment, and grimaced. "...physically, I mean." He could guess as to the rest.
"Physically?" A small smile crossed her face. "I've 'ad worse. Been better, though."
"Me too. My.. everything, hurts. What I get for having a building dropped on my head, I guess." He chuckled quietly, and winced as his ribs protested. Ow. Okay. No more chuckling.
Concern flooded Moira's face. If she concentrated on others, she rationalized, she wouldn't have to face the fact that she wanted to curl into a little ball and cry for days. "Ye need anythin'?" she asked, quietly, watching him.
Shinobi paused to think about this for a moment. "Water?" he asked hopefully. "Something wet, anyway. Possibly also a hug, so long as you stay away from the ribs for it."
Another smile, though this one stayed a little longer. "Aye, 'an' on a second an' I'll get th' first an' then I'll give ye th' second one." The chair made a slight noise as she moved it back but she moved pretty fast in the room and returned soon with a full glass of water. "'ere ye go." Moira waited until he had drunk his fill before leaning over to give him a hug, biting back tears. "God, I'm so sorry."
He guzzled down as much water as he could without drowning himself, but he was obviously more interested in the hug. He ignored his body's very loud complaints as he reached up to wrap his arms around Moira's shoulders, his face soon finding itself buried against the woman's shirt. "I think that's my line," he replied unsteadily, squeezing his eyes closed. "I was useless, Moira.. if I'd just been better.."
She shook her head and took in a deep breath, no urge at all to pull away. "Nay yer fault," she got out, blinking back the tears. "None o' ye could 'ave known 'ow powerful they would be. They fight dirty--"
"But I couldn't even phase, and that's my damned name," Shinobi whimpered, clinging to her for dear life. "It was too loud."
Moira focused all on Shinobi, pushing aside the ball of guilt and terror that was still stuck in her stomach. "Ye cannae blame yerself for anythin' tha' 'appened," she told him. "Blame Mistra, this is all their bloody fault. But please, Shinobi, dinnae blame yerself."
He smiled weakly, leaning his head back just enough to peek up towards Moira, not entirely sure if he was still having trouble focusing or if it was just the tears making things blurry. "I don't. Not entirely, anyway. But I still should have been able to do a lot more than getting my arse kicked."
"They've been trainin' those guys since they were kids," Moira said, jaw trembling at the thought. And Nathan being back with them--she should never have gone alone to the city. She bit back a sob and tried again. "They 'ad th' right people ta take ye guys down."
"He did know who I was," Shinobi admitted quietly, blinking to try and clear his vision.. and finally managed to focus, just in time to notice Moira's jaw trembling. With a small frown, he chanced a slight shake of his head. "We'll get him back."
She pulled back enough to wipe a shaking eye with one hand. "I know," Moira whispered tightly. "'e'll be fine once we get 'im back." A sniffle escaped her and she cursed, pushing her hair out of her face. "I shouldnae 'ave gone inta town tha' day..."
"It's not your fault, either," Shinobi stated firmly, reaching up to give Moira a light poke in the nose, grateful he had his ability to see straight back enough that he could actually aim properly. Poking her in the eye would not have been very good.
A blink and then a sigh. "Tryin' ta nay blame meself either," she admitted, putting her head in her hands. "If'n I keep tellin' meself 'e'll be okay, 'e 'as ta be, aye?"
"He's too stubborn not to be. Just watch. When he gets back, he's going to scold both of us for getting all woe-is-me about it." He grinned a little. "Since I doubt I'll be in any shape to ride off to the rescue with the others, because there will be one.. want to keep me company 'til he's back?"
Moira nodded. "Aye, I will. Tha'll 'elp keep me sane as well." She started to go one but suddenly found herself tearing up even more. "Ach, 'ell..."
Shinobi smiled faintly, and lightly patted his own shoulder. "Your turn," he said gently, with a faintly questioning tilt of his head, albeit a very small one. "I'd sit up for it, but I think you'd be honor-bound to scold me for that."
A part of her, the part that kept her going through the kidnapping, told her no. That to be strong, you had to ignore all the pain and just kept going. Luckily for Moira's ulcer, the other part of her overrode that and she found herself burying her head into the non-injured part of Shinobi, sobbing quietly.
Awkwardly due to his position, he loosely curled one arm around Moira's shoulders, his other hand automatically moving to stroke at her hair. "They're going to get him back," he murmured quietly, swallowing past a lump in his throat. "You'll see."
"I'm so bloody scared tha' they cannae get 'im back," she whispered, tears still falling. "'Tis goin' ta break 'im, 'avin' ta go back ta them. Some o' them think 'tis a bloody bi' family--they want 'im back in th' fold."
"They aren't as big as this family," Shinobi countered, his voice quiet, but hard. "And we're going in angry. There won't be enough of them left to fill a bucket when we get Nate back from them."
She sniffled and raised her head, wiping her eyes again. "I think I broke one o' their arms," Moira said, trying to drag herself back up so she could stop crying so much.
"I think I did, too.. just not the same way." Shinobi offered her a wobbly grin. "That would have been a little more satisfying, I think."
A matched wobbly grin crossed her face. "Makes me feel better anyway." A few minutes of comfortable silence passed between them before she spoke again. "I'm goin' ta try an' 'ope for th' best. I'm jus' startin' ta run so verra low lately."
"With everyone here hoping for the same thing, it's bound to come true," Shinobi reasoned quietly. "Stranger things have happened. Maybe we have a reality manipulator in our midst and we just don't know it."
Moira froze at the words "reality manipulator" but forced herself to relax. Kevin had been in her thoughts a lot lately, flipping back and forth between him and Nathan during her kidnapping. "Maybe," she said, quietly.
Shinobi regarded Moira quietly for a moment before reaching up to give her another light poke in the nose. "You should have some tea," he murmured. "And some sleep. Or at least a light doze."
She gave him a tight smile and reached for his hand to give it a squeeze. "I'll try. Wit' th' sleep part, tha' is. Nay sure 'ow much I can catch right now. Ta much worry in me mind." With a sigh, she realized she was also worried about the nightmares.
"If you have trouble, you can come back in here and make sure any visitors don't speak too loudly," Shinobi offered, returning the squeeze and smiling faintly. "My head still hurts."
"I'll keep tha' in mind," Moira said softly. Bending over, she gave Shinobi another long hug, careful to mind his ribs. "Get some rest yerself an' dinnae think 'bout th' fight, all right?"
"I'm not one to argue a doctor's orders," Shinobi agreed as he returned the hug, smiling tiredly. "I'll try my best."
"Good." With a quiet sigh, she pulled back, already missing the reassurance of a physical touch. "I'll stop in later, aye?" Turning she headed towards the door, her head throbbing already again. Moira smiled tiredly at Shinobi as she left, closing the door quietly behind her.