Manuel and Shinobi - Help Me Before I Do Something Really Bad

[x-empath.livejournal.com]

Who: Shinobi Shaw, Manuel de la Rocha
Where: Shinobi's Room
When: Saturday evening
What Happens: Manuel goes to talk to the closest thing he has to a friend about the situation with Amanda and Angelo.



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Manuel knocked on Shinobi's door, hoping that he was in residence. He didn't dare scan with his empathy, lest he slip and infect the entire Mansion with what he was feeling right now. He could really use a friend right now, and Shinobi was the closest thing he had to one right now - especially after what had happened earlier.

Happily, he was home, if the call of "It's open! C'mon in!" from inside was a fair indicator. Shinobi was in the kitchenette, setting a pair of mugs into the sink to be rinsed out later.

Manuel opened the door, shuffled into the suite, and then closed the door behind him. "I've got a problem, hombre." he
said to Shinobi. "Real problems. I need some help." His face was streaked, as if he'd been crying, and his body-language screamed out tension.

The dishes would definitely wait until later. "What happened?" Shinobi blinked, moving out of the kitchen as quickly as his ribs would let him, worry etched onto his face as he reached a hand out towards Manuel. "Come, sit.. should I call someone?"

"NO!" Manuel said, shaking his head and falling gracelessly into one of Shinobi's overstuffed chairs. "It's over." he said, balling his hands into fists. "I can't believe it's over."

Scooping up a box of Kleenex as he followed Manuel, he settled into a crouch next to the man's chosen chair, offering him the box without a word about it. "What happened?" he asked gently, frowning in concern.

Manuel looked at Shinobi. "She told him she loved him. He loves her, she loves him. Isn't that just fantastic?"

Well, one half of this was easy to figure out.. it was the other that was puzzling. "Amanda told who?" Shinobi asked slowly, blinking once.

"Take a wild guess." Manuel said, forcing himself to unclench his hands. "That motherfucking la raza cockroach."

"Angelo?" Shinobi blinked, his expression one of disbelief. "I know they look at each other as surrogate siblings, but I don't think there's any romantic interest there.. she loves you too much, and he loves Paige too much."

"Not true." Manuel said. "I saw it with my own eyes and my own power. He told her he loved her, and she got a gigantic ol' fuck-me-now feeling. She returned it, I know. She couldn't ..." he said, and then lost it entirely, unable to speak through his
grief. "She couldn't ... say it..."

Shinobi frowned, and shifted to crouch in front of the chair so that he could hold both arms out towards Manuel. He looked very much like he could use a hug. Besides.. it would give him a chance to try and figure out what to say.

Manuel leaned into the hug gladly, and held it as tightly as he could without reinjuring Shinobi's ribs. "I can't believe I didn't see it. I'm a damned empath, and I couldn't see it. Wouldn't see it."

Shinobi didn't mind risking further injury to his ribs, wrapping his arms around Manuel and holding on as long as the man would let him. "You avoid Angelo a lot, for what he does to your control," he observed gently. "Like Amanda tries to do with Jubilee. It's understandable that, if something is there, that you missed it. I.. don't think it will be a lasting problem, though, if they know you're aware of it now. Not knowing the two of them." A pause. "Well. And Paige."

"Yeah." Manuel said, voice getting hard. "I can fix this with a _thought_."

"But you shouldn't. As painful as that is, you shouldn't." Shinobi sighed, giving Manuel a kiss on the cheek. "Without resorting to something that drastic.. how can this be dealt with? I want to help you both. You're family."

Manuel pulled back from Shinobi, and looked at him frostily. "That's the excuse Amanda gave me. He's family, she said. Fucking mentirosa!" he ranted. "You're my friend, and you're my Lord, but you are _not_ family." he said. "You have a family already, and so do I."

"We aren't family by blood, no, but I consider you a brother just the same," Shinobi replied as calmly as he could, trying not to shrink under the frosty look. "You have heard the term 'brothers in arms', yes? Sort of like that. Brothers in feelings, if not genetics." Oh, but he'd need to go see Charles. Quickly. Just to be on the safe side. "But we're straying from the point, and it isn't helping you. Is there anything that I can do?"

"Keep me from going down there and fucking with everyone involved until I feel better?" Manuel said bleakly. "Don't let me use my power - if my eyes glow, fucking hit me or something."

Shinobi nodded, smiling and reaching up to lightly pat Manuel's shoulder. "I'll do my best. Would it help if I called Doctor McCoy, asked him if the dampener could be tweaked, until you aren't worried about losing control of yourself? Or should we avoid that?"

Manuel shook his head. "I've had my fill of being denied and enslaved." he said bitterly. "We had come so close to getting back together when all this new bullshit hit." he griped. "At least I know that she regrets what she said to that capullo."

Shinobi nodded, pursing his lips in thought. "I still have the suite to myself.. if you like, you can stay in the spare room, until you feel better." He paused, and tentatively added, "If it would not offend you.. would it be alright if I let Charles know you were concerned about your control? That way, we would have a safety net, just in case I'm for some reason not here to stop you if you slip."

Manuel nodded. "Thank you, my friend. I can't sleep in my own room, not right now - I have too many memories of her from there to be able to rest at all." He sniffled, and grabbed some of the tissues to blow his nose. "I am a very great fool. I believed her, believed what I thought I saw."

"You're welcome. I hope it'll help you regain your balance." Shinobi smiled, blindly reaching for the small trash bin under the end table, dragging it out where Manuel could more easily reach it with his tissues. "Love is.. especially for you and I, I think, not an easy thing to eye with scruitiny. We both crave it, so when we find it, or think we do, we cling to it with everything we have. You are not a fool, Manuel."

"I can _see_ it!" Manuel protested. "I know exactly what it looks like - it's a golden-red that sparkles. And I saw the thread that connects that assbandit and Amanda - and it sparked in just the same way. Why couldn't she say it to me if she in truth loves me? I think she was lying to me. It's the only explanation that makes sense!"

"But you could see her love for you, too. You're an Empath, remember?" Shinobi caught one of Manuel's hands, to give it a reassuring squeeze. "Manuel.. I'm curious. Does all love look the same to you? Does the love between, say, a man and a woman look the same as the love between a mother and her daughter?"

"No, they're different, but only slightly." Manuel said. "I know where you are going with this, and I don't think I miscalled this one. I mean, I love you, but it's not like I want to tear your clothes off." Much. "It's a different red-gold - it doesn't have the same sparkle. I don't have the words to describe it."

Shinobi couldn't help blinking at that admission, but his surprise was pleasant. "I think I understand.. or, well enough. And I love you, too, with the same caveat." He winked, then looked towards the door, with a thoughtful tilt of his head. "I wish Emma were here. She'd know what to do."

"Emma usually does. She'd probably grab my earlobe, twist, and tell me I'm being a stupid venal little boy." he said, making the appropriate twisting gesture with one hand.

"I could do it for you, but I don't know if it would have the same impact," Shinobi mused. "Especially since Emma would also offer you some words of wisdom to go with the observation, some guidance, and I'm not sure what to say in that regard just yet. Do you think talking with someone might help? Charles, or Doctor Samson..? I could go with you."

"Maybe." he said, thinking the idea over. "But I just know that the answer is that I'm going to have to break my link and agree to live like a monk in a monastery, never breaching the walls of my own mind and never having any _fun_." he whined.

"I sincerely doubt it would be that strict," Shinobi said with a shake of his head.. though, he brightened after a moment. "You do give me an idea, though a somewhat unrelated one. We do have a monk in residence.. perhaps, if you ever have concerns about your self-control, you could ask him for some tutoring. Kylun's a very soothing presence, I'm told."

"I am under no illusions about what people think of me, in general." Manuel said. "If I go to the teachers and ask for help, they will just shut me down."

"Perhaps they would have, but that was before you learned so much in Asgard," Shinobi observed. "You are a much different man now than you were then. Though, I will admit that since your main concern is lashing out with your empathy that the first response that comes to mind is a dampener." He made a face. "It's such a tricky line."

"See, that's just it. The dampener is _on_ right now, and it's not doing anything. I've been fully unlocked since I got back!" Manuel said. "That's a secret, by the by."

Shinobi made a thoughtful noise, tilting his head to the side. "You mentioned it on your journal after you returned,
though.. bad way to keep a secret," he observed, smiling a bit. "I really do think you should consider seeing Doctor McCoy, or Charles. Not necessarily about the dampener, though having it strictly as a safety net until things are resolved may be worth considering. But I know it would not be your preference."

"No doctors!" Manuel said, forgetting his progress from Asgard and flashing back to his pre-Disappearance self. "No, I'm just going to have to grieve and then move on. Figure out what to do with my mental bond to Amanda, and move on. Find a new girl."

Shinobi simply nodded in response to the first, giving Manuel's hand another squeeze. "Are you sure it's unsalvagable?" he asked, frownining. "I'll believe you if you think it is. Very sad about it, but I'll believe you."

"I don't know." he said sadly. "I really don't. I don't want it to be dead, but I really don't see any way around it."

"We'll try and think of something, if you want to," Shinobi offered. "You can stay here as long as you need to. I can talk to Amanda, see how she feels about everything.. and that way, you can make the decision with as much information at your disposal as
possible. Would that be okay?"

Manuel nodded. "I would appreciate that. I would like to know if it was all a lie, or if any of it was real. Might help to salve my ego."

"I'll talk to her as soon as possible, then," Shinobi nodded, smiling. "In the meantime.. want me to go grab you a few changes of clothes from your room? You can relax in here, grab a movie off the shelf or something."

"That sounds ... pleasant." Manuel said. "I'll be right back." And then he stood up, threw out his accumulated tissues, and headed out the door.

(mentirosa = liar)

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