xp_logs | Nathan and Shinobi, Saturday afternoon

The Parade'O'Visitors continues. Shinobi stops by to check in on Nathan. Nathan lends him his favorite book. They agree there will be pool, once Nathan is no longer falling asleep at the drop of a hat. And Nathan reveals that he might be taking a more reasonable approach to the aftermath of his ordeal than most people who knew him well might have expected. Set before these logs.

This was not fun, Nathan thought fitfully, wavering on his feet as he tried to make it over to the bookshelf. Under most circumstances, he'd have just grabbed the book he wanted telekinetically, but Charles had been pretty firm about the whole psionic-exertion thing. Walking was wearing him out, too, which was even more aggravating.

He got the book and turned to head back to the bed, only to sway again. Grabbing at the back of the desk chair, he grimaced. Last thing he needed was Moira running in here from the other room at the sound of a thump.

There was a thump anyway, but it came from the door to the bedroom, as Shinobi lightly rapped a fist against it. Loud enough to be heard, not so loud that it would, say, wake anyone if they happened to be sleeping.

Nathan blinked a bit blearily at the door. "Uhh... come in," he called, starting very carefully back over to the bed. If he could just get there without landing on his ass, that would be good. Very good...

Shinobi nudged the door open and poked his head inside, blinking in mild surprise as he saw Nathan up and about. Or.. well.. up, anyway. "Need a hand?" he asked as he ducked inside, tilting his head to one side.

Nathan wavered a little more at the sight of Shinobi, and the stab of anxiety was accompanied by a simultaneous surge of sleepiness. Gritting his teeth, he shook his head and managed to make it back to the bed without falling. "I'm okay," he said with a sigh as he sank back down. Calmly, he told himself. Otherwise he would be sleeping again. "Did you... want to come in?"

"Only if you're up for he company," Shinobi replied, hanging back near the door and relaxing slightly as Nathan got back to the bed in one piece. "I, uh.. just wanted to come and reassure myself that you were okay. Silly of me, I guess."

Nathan looked down at the book for a long moment. "'The Name of the Rose'," he said quietly. "It's my favorite. I..." He stopped, closing his eyes as the drowsiness pushed at him again, almost insistently. "So much I'd like to say to you," he murmured, his voice a bit unsteady. "But if I try... I'll fall asleep. Post-hypnotic suggestion from Charles... I'm not supposed to be emotional, apparently..."

"So your head can put itself back together," Shinobi confirmed quietly, with a small smile as he leant against the doorjamb. "There's a lot I'd like to say to you, too.. but I don't want to put you to sleep, either. So how about we raincheck that for now, and once you're feeling better, we go out and do it over sandwiches or something? You, me, someplace with a pool table..?"

He smiled suddenly. He couldn't help himself. "Shinobi... I can beat Dom at pool. You might not want to play with me..."

Shinobi waved a hand, grinning lopsidedly. "But I like a challenge. Besides, you can teach me how to play while we're there. Maybe we can shark some people." He waggled his eyebrows, beaming innocently.

It couldn't be this easy, could it? Nathan swallowed, looking back down at the book in his hands. "Are you okay?" he asked slowly. Find a safe subject or nap, Dayspring. "Didn't.. really ask you that on Thursday night. Funny how that slipped my mind..."

Shinobi thought for a moment before he moved further inside, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. "You weren't precisely at your best," he observed gently. "I'm better than I was. Not quite perfect yet, but it'll just take a little time." And that neatly answered the question in either way it could have been intended - physically okay, or emotionally okay. "I'll be okay."

"Good. That's good." Nathan was quiet again for a long moment. "Mick really did feel like shit, you know. I think..." He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. Calmly. As if it had all happened to someone else. "Really don't think I could vouch for how intact his conditioning actually is. He was finding too many loopholes..." That conversation he and Foley and Morgan had had, the night before he'd been sent back out... that had been illuminating in more ways than one.

"I hope he was listening to what I was saying in the warehouse, in that case," Shinobi murmured thoughtfully, glancing around for a chair, or just plain something to sit on. "If I did, he might have the idea of trying to break out in his head, now. Told him he could cut the wires."

"You know," Nathan said a bit dimly, rubbing at the more heavily bandaged wrist, the broken one. "I did exactly what I did the last time... got out and left them behind."

Giving up on finding a chair, Shinobi opted for the floor, settling comfortably on his knees at Nathan's bedside. He wasn't entirely sure what to say in response.. so, he didn't, resting his hands against the edge of the bed and listening quietly.

"It doesn't... hurt like it did the last time," Nathan murmured. Trying to stay on the right side of that emotional line, keep enough of a distance that he wouldn't be faceplanting on the bed. Well, it wouldn't quite be faceplanting, given where he was sitting right now and the direction he was... Nathan squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them very wide, telling him to focus. "It was like leaving parts of myself behind, seven years ago. The conditioning... wired me to be 'pack leader'." He smiled a bit wanly. "Now it's just guilt."

"There's a lot of guilt going around this week," Shinobi agreed quietly, mirroring the small smile as he propped his chin up against the edge of the bed. He probably wasn't aware of just how childlike he looked that way. "You'll be okay, though, right?"

Nathan stared down at him for a long moment, a very distant part of him oddly tickled by the image Shinobi presented. "Can I be honest without sounding... like a horrible person?" Shinobi just blinked at him, so Nathan went on. "I don't care about the guilt," he said a bit hoarsely. Crap, there went the 'Nap! Now!' nudge again. Nathan closed his eyes, saving his concentration for speech, instead of focusing. "I really, really don't. I wish it would go away, because I'm so fucking tired..."

"You can rest now," Shinobi observed, giving up on the whole 'give him space' thing and reaching out to lightly lay one hand against Nathan's nearest arm. "You don't sound like a horrible person, Nate. I understand."

Nathan flinched at the touch, however gentle it was. The tug at his mind was getting more and more insistent, and he let the breath in his lungs out on a sigh. "I wish I'd stop falling asleep like this," he said more dimly. "Keep thinking I'm going to wake up back there..."

Shinobi managed not to wince at the flinch, but he did take his hand back, reluctantly. "Do you want me to stay 'til you wake up?" he offered quietly, letting the edge of the mattress hide a small frown.

Nathan sighed again, more heavily, mustering a very faint smile. "I feel absolutely pitiful, you know," he said, closing his eyes. The feel of the book in his hands drew him back a little. "Have you ever read this?" he asked a bit groggily, opening his eyes and staring back down at it.

Shinobi lifted his head enough to get a better look at the book's cover, thinking for a moment before he shook his head. "Nuh-uh. I don't think I have."

"You should. Hell of a book. All comes down to humanity versus repression of humanity, in the end..." Nathan trailed off. "Suppose that's why I always liked it so much."

"Sounds like I'd like it, too," Shinobi agreed, smiling a little. "I'll check the library for a copy before I go back to my room. Don't want to steal yours."

"Not a clear-cut victory in the end. The forces of good figure out the mystery, but they don't really win. They wind up losing so much...." Nathan blinked down at the book. "Maybe I shouldn't be reading this," he said with a flicker of bleak amusement.

Shinobi chuckled quietly, ignoring the token ache of protest his ribs gave at the motion. It was kind of funny, in the ironic sense of the word, after all. "If you want something else to read, I could loan you something?"

"I think I was being kind of ambitious," Nathan said. "Thinking I was up to reading in the first place..." He shifted around, leaning back against the pillows with a sigh and setting the book on the nighttable. "Moira told me you kept her company. Thank you."

"It was the least I could do," Shinobi shrugged, offering Nate a little smile as he absently reached over to make sure the book wasn't in danger of falling off the nighttable. "And I like spending time with her, besides."

"She..." Nathan trailed off, staring rather blankly at the opposite wall of the bedroom.

Shinobi blinked slowly, tilting his head as he regarded Nathan patiently.

It was the ticking of the clock that finally snapped him out of it. Nathan's eyes moved back to Shinobi, regarding him with a dim sort of perplexity. "What... was I saying?"

"Something about Moira, but you kind of stalled," Shinobi replied lightly, watching the older man curiously. "You okay?" Maybe Charles had decided Nate wasn't ready to talk about that yet.

"I forgot what I was going to say," Nathan murmured, raising a hand to rub his eyes. Too heavy, again. "That's very frustrating..."

"I can sympathise," Shinobi nodded, catching himself short ot offering the older man another pat on the arm. Space, Shinobi, space. "Want me to let you get a little sleep? The sooner you hibernate, the sooner you'll be up and about again, I bet."

Nathan made an already-sleepy sound of agreement. "Take the book," he murmured, his eyes drifting closed. "You might like it..."

"If you like it, I'm sure I will," Shinobi agreed, rising back to his feet with a slight wince. Oh, yes, he needed to get the all-clear so he could get back to his exercising soon. "I'll bring it back as soon as I'm done."

"And pool. Once I'm not doing this..."

"And pool," Shinobi nodded, grinning as he reached for the book. "Rest up. It'll give me a chance to finish healing up before we go do manly things what men do."