Cecilia and Shan, Sunday afternoon
Aug. 30th, 2004 12:14 amShan, after seeing this post on Cecilia's journal, brings her cookies and talks to her about her rough month-or-seventeen-years. They are really cute.
Just focus on tomorrow, Cecilia. Focus on going out for drinks tomorrow, and not on the laptop, or your own head, and everything would be just fine. Just sleep until tomorrow.
Of course, sleeping would be easier if she bothered to go close the door to her bedroom, and beyond it, the one that opened out into the hallway. As much as she wanted to ignore everything outside, she wanted to have as easy a time getting downstairs as possible if they needed her, so she'd left both doors open. It made sense in her head, really it did. It just made relaxing difficult.
With a grumble, she rolled onto her stomach and buried her head under her pillow, blindly groping around behind herself for the covers. Maybe if she just buried herself under the bedclothes, the world would go away for a little while.
Shan stopped at the door, grinning to herself when she saw Cecilia cover her head with her pillow. "Hello in there," she called. "Mind if I come in?" If Cecilia really wanted to sleep, she reasoned, she'd say so.
The lump under the covers seemed to pause, and slowly, the pillow lifted enough for one eye to peek towards the door. "Shan?" Cecilia blinked, pushing the pillow back off her head for ease of conversation. And, well, so she could eye the woman in the doorway confusedly. "Um.. no, I don't mind. What's up? Not more explosions, I hope?" She grimaced. Please, not more explosions.
Shan grinned. "No more explosions. I saw your post on the journals, so I brought you some fresh cookies from my latest batch. Thought you could use some chocolate today." She held up the plate and took a step inside, examining the scene with amused dark eyes. "And from the looks of it, I'm not a moment too soon. How are you doing?"
"You brought me cookies." Cecilia blinked once, twice, as she tried to parse this. "Um. Thank you. You really didn't have to, though I'm never one to turn down chocolate." Shaking herself, she carefully pushed herself up to sit, reaching up to rub at her forehead. Stop hurting. Ugh. "...mmh. I'm doing not-so-good, honestly."
"'Course I brought you cookies," Shan said cheerfully. "They're only slightly singed, too. I've outdone myself." She placed the plate carefully at the end of the bed, and watched the young woman carefully. "Not so good, huh? Bet you've had a pretty long week."
"Long month, actually," Cecilia corrected absently, eyeing the cookies as she tried to figure out of her stomach was in any fit state to let her eat any. Singed or no, they did smell very good. "Or.. well.. seventeen years, if we want to be technical," she admitted, giving up and reaching for a cookie. "You can sit, if you want. Door first, though, if you don't intend on stopping me from whining about my bad month-or-seventeen-years." She looked up, managing a tired grin.
Shan obligingly closed the door. "Whine away," she said with an open smile. "I don't mind, and you look like you've had a rough day."
"Seventeen years," Cecilia corrected again, her grin turning wry as she waved towards a free portion of bed. "But this month has been a bit of a marathon, yes." Yes.. yes, we'll just cover the last month. For the moment. "I, um.. had been hiding my mutation, since I manifested. Never really learned any control, since I preferred to pretend it wasn't there. So.. when somebody at my campus had some really bad aim with a softball? It.. kind of outed me." She made a face, looking down at her cookie. "This was the Monday after Columbia," she added quietly, drawing her knees up against her chest. "So. Ran. Came here. And it's just been one thing after another the entire time, and there hasn't been time to breathe."
Wincing sympathetically, Shan sat. "And I bet you weren't expecting anything like what you got," she murmured. "No hell dimensions, no secret government plots, no crazy mutant stunts, am I right? And you got those things, plus you'd just left your whole life behind in New York, and maybe you weren't used to mutant politics before this. So it's all been building up -- the shock, even some grief for what you left behind -- and suddenly it's all sinking in." She took a cookie and broke off an edge, nibbled at that rather than filling her mouth; her eyes were on Cecilia, to gauge if she'd hit the point or not.
"Lots of grief, lots of shock," she confirmed, eyeing her cookie a moment longer before very, very carefully returning it to the plate, dusting the crumbs from her fingers so she could safely wipe at her eyes. Though the way her hand was shaking was making it a bit of a challenge not to poke herself in the eye. "I'm not sure if it's reassuring or not that you seem to understand," Cecilia mused unsteadily, mustering up another grin as she glanced towards Shan.
Shan considered reaching out to Cecilia physically, but something told her the other woman wasn't ready for that -- she seemed too private to want it without asking, or without approaching. Instead, Shan smiled at her, a little sadly this time. "It's a lot to handle," she said simply. "There are things life doesn't prepare you for. Leaving your life behind for another one, one that you didn't even want, is one of them, no matter how nice the people are or how much you're able to piece back together." She paused, looking thoughtful. "You've also seen a hell of a lot of sheer violence this month, things you can't control," she said carefully. "I can't imagine you expected that, no matter how well you were warned in advance."
Cecilia shook her head, swallowing past a lump in her throat. "I was assured that the mansion's security systems had been heavily upgraded since the commandoes," she said, with rather obviously-forced lightness. "I found out about the.." Murderer in the basement. Hell dimensions. Asgard. Walking nuclear bomb. Brainwashed government assassins. "..other.. stuff.. afterwards." Again, she swallowed. No crying. Cried on Domino, that met the quota, no more of that. Although.. "...you wouldn't eye me askance if I asked for a hug, would you?"
"Not at all," Shan assured her, and reached over, pulling the other woman into a firm hug. "This must have been a pretty hard adjustment to make. Hugs are necessary."
Okay. That not-crying thing just got a great deal more challenging. With a vague noise of agreement, Cecilia leant heavily into the hug, wrapping her arms around Shan's shoulders and trying not to cling. It, and the attempt not to cry, were not going horribly well. "Just keep it under your hat," she mumbled wobbily. "Don't need my nervous breakdown to be public knowledge, 'n all."
Shan patted Cecilia's shoulder comfortingly, completely serene. "I won't tell," she promised, "so long as you promise to talk to someone long before you hit the nervous breakdown stage next time, okay?"
"Promise," Cecilia agreed, letting her head drop onto Shan's shoulder as she tried to focus on just how calm the woman was. If she let it, maybe it could rub off on her. "That sounds more than fair. Thank you."
"You're welcome," Shan said, with a smile, "although it was the least you could do after getting my brother to take his vitamins. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, since you seemed pretty down, and I figured you're not having an easy time of it."
Cecilia couldn't help but smile, nodding without lifting her head. "I'm doing better now," she replied slowly, and as if to prove it, she loosened her hold on Shan's shoulders. "Being peeked in on and given hugs and sweets helps a surprising amount. You're allowed to do that whenever you want, I think."
Well, of course. Shan laughed. "I'll keep that in mind," she said seriously. "It seems to be very effective therapy, from what I can tell."
"Extremely effective," Cecilia confirmed, chuckling quietly and carefully lifting her head. She'd just focus more on the returning-composure and less on the watery-eyes, and all would be well. "You don't mind terribly if I con you into sticking around a little while longer, do you? The cookies would miss you." She nodded solemnly.
Just focus on tomorrow, Cecilia. Focus on going out for drinks tomorrow, and not on the laptop, or your own head, and everything would be just fine. Just sleep until tomorrow.
Of course, sleeping would be easier if she bothered to go close the door to her bedroom, and beyond it, the one that opened out into the hallway. As much as she wanted to ignore everything outside, she wanted to have as easy a time getting downstairs as possible if they needed her, so she'd left both doors open. It made sense in her head, really it did. It just made relaxing difficult.
With a grumble, she rolled onto her stomach and buried her head under her pillow, blindly groping around behind herself for the covers. Maybe if she just buried herself under the bedclothes, the world would go away for a little while.
Shan stopped at the door, grinning to herself when she saw Cecilia cover her head with her pillow. "Hello in there," she called. "Mind if I come in?" If Cecilia really wanted to sleep, she reasoned, she'd say so.
The lump under the covers seemed to pause, and slowly, the pillow lifted enough for one eye to peek towards the door. "Shan?" Cecilia blinked, pushing the pillow back off her head for ease of conversation. And, well, so she could eye the woman in the doorway confusedly. "Um.. no, I don't mind. What's up? Not more explosions, I hope?" She grimaced. Please, not more explosions.
Shan grinned. "No more explosions. I saw your post on the journals, so I brought you some fresh cookies from my latest batch. Thought you could use some chocolate today." She held up the plate and took a step inside, examining the scene with amused dark eyes. "And from the looks of it, I'm not a moment too soon. How are you doing?"
"You brought me cookies." Cecilia blinked once, twice, as she tried to parse this. "Um. Thank you. You really didn't have to, though I'm never one to turn down chocolate." Shaking herself, she carefully pushed herself up to sit, reaching up to rub at her forehead. Stop hurting. Ugh. "...mmh. I'm doing not-so-good, honestly."
"'Course I brought you cookies," Shan said cheerfully. "They're only slightly singed, too. I've outdone myself." She placed the plate carefully at the end of the bed, and watched the young woman carefully. "Not so good, huh? Bet you've had a pretty long week."
"Long month, actually," Cecilia corrected absently, eyeing the cookies as she tried to figure out of her stomach was in any fit state to let her eat any. Singed or no, they did smell very good. "Or.. well.. seventeen years, if we want to be technical," she admitted, giving up and reaching for a cookie. "You can sit, if you want. Door first, though, if you don't intend on stopping me from whining about my bad month-or-seventeen-years." She looked up, managing a tired grin.
Shan obligingly closed the door. "Whine away," she said with an open smile. "I don't mind, and you look like you've had a rough day."
"Seventeen years," Cecilia corrected again, her grin turning wry as she waved towards a free portion of bed. "But this month has been a bit of a marathon, yes." Yes.. yes, we'll just cover the last month. For the moment. "I, um.. had been hiding my mutation, since I manifested. Never really learned any control, since I preferred to pretend it wasn't there. So.. when somebody at my campus had some really bad aim with a softball? It.. kind of outed me." She made a face, looking down at her cookie. "This was the Monday after Columbia," she added quietly, drawing her knees up against her chest. "So. Ran. Came here. And it's just been one thing after another the entire time, and there hasn't been time to breathe."
Wincing sympathetically, Shan sat. "And I bet you weren't expecting anything like what you got," she murmured. "No hell dimensions, no secret government plots, no crazy mutant stunts, am I right? And you got those things, plus you'd just left your whole life behind in New York, and maybe you weren't used to mutant politics before this. So it's all been building up -- the shock, even some grief for what you left behind -- and suddenly it's all sinking in." She took a cookie and broke off an edge, nibbled at that rather than filling her mouth; her eyes were on Cecilia, to gauge if she'd hit the point or not.
"Lots of grief, lots of shock," she confirmed, eyeing her cookie a moment longer before very, very carefully returning it to the plate, dusting the crumbs from her fingers so she could safely wipe at her eyes. Though the way her hand was shaking was making it a bit of a challenge not to poke herself in the eye. "I'm not sure if it's reassuring or not that you seem to understand," Cecilia mused unsteadily, mustering up another grin as she glanced towards Shan.
Shan considered reaching out to Cecilia physically, but something told her the other woman wasn't ready for that -- she seemed too private to want it without asking, or without approaching. Instead, Shan smiled at her, a little sadly this time. "It's a lot to handle," she said simply. "There are things life doesn't prepare you for. Leaving your life behind for another one, one that you didn't even want, is one of them, no matter how nice the people are or how much you're able to piece back together." She paused, looking thoughtful. "You've also seen a hell of a lot of sheer violence this month, things you can't control," she said carefully. "I can't imagine you expected that, no matter how well you were warned in advance."
Cecilia shook her head, swallowing past a lump in her throat. "I was assured that the mansion's security systems had been heavily upgraded since the commandoes," she said, with rather obviously-forced lightness. "I found out about the.." Murderer in the basement. Hell dimensions. Asgard. Walking nuclear bomb. Brainwashed government assassins. "..other.. stuff.. afterwards." Again, she swallowed. No crying. Cried on Domino, that met the quota, no more of that. Although.. "...you wouldn't eye me askance if I asked for a hug, would you?"
"Not at all," Shan assured her, and reached over, pulling the other woman into a firm hug. "This must have been a pretty hard adjustment to make. Hugs are necessary."
Okay. That not-crying thing just got a great deal more challenging. With a vague noise of agreement, Cecilia leant heavily into the hug, wrapping her arms around Shan's shoulders and trying not to cling. It, and the attempt not to cry, were not going horribly well. "Just keep it under your hat," she mumbled wobbily. "Don't need my nervous breakdown to be public knowledge, 'n all."
Shan patted Cecilia's shoulder comfortingly, completely serene. "I won't tell," she promised, "so long as you promise to talk to someone long before you hit the nervous breakdown stage next time, okay?"
"Promise," Cecilia agreed, letting her head drop onto Shan's shoulder as she tried to focus on just how calm the woman was. If she let it, maybe it could rub off on her. "That sounds more than fair. Thank you."
"You're welcome," Shan said, with a smile, "although it was the least you could do after getting my brother to take his vitamins. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, since you seemed pretty down, and I figured you're not having an easy time of it."
Cecilia couldn't help but smile, nodding without lifting her head. "I'm doing better now," she replied slowly, and as if to prove it, she loosened her hold on Shan's shoulders. "Being peeked in on and given hugs and sweets helps a surprising amount. You're allowed to do that whenever you want, I think."
Well, of course. Shan laughed. "I'll keep that in mind," she said seriously. "It seems to be very effective therapy, from what I can tell."
"Extremely effective," Cecilia confirmed, chuckling quietly and carefully lifting her head. She'd just focus more on the returning-composure and less on the watery-eyes, and all would be well. "You don't mind terribly if I con you into sticking around a little while longer, do you? The cookies would miss you." She nodded solemnly.