xp_logs | Amanda and Nathan, early Monday afternoon

After sleeping off the headache from his session with Haroun, Nathan stops in to see Amanda. They talk about Angelo, Manuel, and how she's feeling. He finds out that she's not angry at him after all for stopping the lessons with Manuel, and she finds out that he's not disappointed in her for falling off the wagon. Marvel as the angst-level of the conversation spontaneously lowers!

Her door was half-open, and Nathan peered around it to see Amanda sprawled on the couch in her suite's common room. "Hey there," he said somewhat tentatively. "Up for some company?

"If it'll stop me thinkin' up ways t' find out the person who stitched up Ange, then yeah, company'd be good." Amanda waved him him. "Never thought I'd say it, but I was glad of havin' Cain bustin' me arse today. Needed somethin' t' keep me mind of things." She held up her hands to show him the blisters. "How 'bout you? Done killin' punchin' bags?"

Nathan took a deep breath and came in. "Yeah, I moved on to the Danger Room today. Not such a good idea." As witnessed by the fact that he'd spent the rest of the morning asleep, again. At least it was just a headache and not a nosebleed. Moira would have killed both him and Haroun.

"Head achin' again? I've got that willowbark mix if you need it..." Amanda uncurled from the couch, heading for the room's kitchenette. She'd claimed one cupboard for various teas the the like, high up enough that the smaller girls couldn't get at it, and warded, just in case. "Or just tea, if you want."

"Wouldn't mind the willowbark, actually. I've had entirely too much in the way of standard painkillers over the last week." He watched her putter around in the kitchenette. "How are you feeling?"

"Angry. No, bloody furious. But it makes me forget 'bout the cravin's an' the withdrawal, so maybe it's not a bad thing." Setting the kettle to boil, Amanda reached for the bag of willowbark tea, floating it out when the shelf proved too high for her to reach. "It was hard, findin' out Ange thought for a second I'd told someone, but like he said, he weren't thinkin' straight last night." Her hands were shaking again, and Amanda paused to breathe, concentrating on making the feeling go away. "Bloody fucking hellfire an' blast," she muttered.

Nathan watched her. "Paige was with him last night. Probably the best thing." He took a deep breath, sitting down on the couch. "He'll be all right. And Scott and Hank will do their best to find out who did this to him."

Finishing the tea, Amanda brought it over to him, handing over the steaming mug before curling up on the couch next to him. "'S just such a fuckin' shitty thing t' do t' someone," she said with a sigh. "An' Manuel was with me an' Lee on repair duty, so it weren't him." She winced a little, realising that Manuel had been her first suspect. Certainly no-one else had the motivation to hurt Angelo like this. "An' I've never told him about that, ever, so I dunno how else he'd know."

Nathan sipped at the tea. Still tasted like crap. "Just what the two of you needed, I guess," he said with a sigh of his own. "Suspicion, even if it was only at first."

She nodded unhappily. "Yeah, it didn't go down well. 'Specially when he's been so good 'bout lookin' after me... almost like a normal relationship." She said this last with a slight twist of her mouth. "I should've know somethin' else'd crop up. Wouldn't be us, otherwise. Still, he's tryin', which is a good thing. Just wish I could get it through his head he ain't been abandoned..." Realising what she was saying, Amanda glanced up at Nate. "Not that you did. He's just worried 'bout his trainin'."

No. Getting angry would not be good, especially since she didn't really believe it... did she? Nathan rubbed at his jaw for a moment, then looked back at her. "Funny," he said, striving for a light tone and not quite making it. "Given how much he didn't seem to care... well, wait, I should be fair. He didn't give a damn that I was calling it quits. He did care about his training."

"He's scared," Amanda said frankly. "Scared of what he might turn into. 'Specially after the last few weeks - he nearly asked t' have his powers dampened with the drugs, 'cause he didn't want t' hurt me any more. The trainin'... it helped, a lot." Looking down, she realised she was twisting the hem of her t-shirt between her fingers again. "An' t' tell the truth, 'm scared too. After seein' what he could turn into, that nightmare of his... He needs help, Nate, More 'n I can give. We've seen what happens t' me under pressure."

"I know about the drugs," Nathan said, not looking at her. "He told me. I tried to get him to talk to Charles, but he wouldn't come. That was our last lesson." He took a long sip of the tea. "You can't fix things for him," he said. "I can't fix things for him. And taking the coward's way out isn't going to fix things for him." He gave her a sudden, sharp look. "Did he give you that remote?"

She nodded. "I didn't ask him to - after Asgard, I didn't think he'd ever trust me again. Surprised the hell out of me when he handed it over." Hesitantly, she added. "'M not mad at you, for stoppin' the lessons. I know how had they were, how much they were messin' with yer head. I just need t' know that someone's keepin' an eye on him, is all. Someone who's a bit more reliable 'n me."

"Charles keeps an eye on all of us," Nathan said. "And Manuel's going to be working with Moira - he told you that, right?"

Amanda nodded again. "He said he'd asked. An' I told him she might be able t' help, even if he thinks she can't." Her expression was half-relieved, half-exasperated. "He's just so fuckin' stubborn, sometimes. Sees everythin' in black an' white, an' can't accept there's anythin' in between. So when somethin' goes bad for him, everythin's bad. Drives me stark starin' mad sometimes."

"You and me both," Nathan murmured, sipping at the tea. "I really couldn't do it anymore," he said, despite the fact that she'd told him she wasn't angry at him for stopping the lessons. "I'm surprised Charles let me go back at all, after Mistra."

"So was I, 'specially considerin' the re-conditionin'." Amanda left her shirt alone, looked Nate in the face. "'M not mad," she repeated. "Remember I always told you you didn't have to keep on if it got too hard? I meant it. I'd rather have you sane an' in one piece than have you drivin' yerself crazy teachin' Manny. Somethin'll be done, like you said. The X geezer wouldn't leave him t' himself, not after last time." She was telling herself as much as Nathan. Reaching over, she squeezed his hand. "You did yer best, Nate. I know you did."

Nathan flinched at the touch, but mustered a somewhat wan smile. "I'm... glad you feel that way. I just couldn't keep going with it. He wasn't..." No, he didn't need to go there. "I've got a lot of my own stuff to get straight," he went on, a little more briskly. "And it's been made pretty clear to me that if I want to be a part of the, um, leather brigade, I've got a lot of work to do."

She rolled her eyes slightly at the mention of the X-Men, but left it at that. The flinch bothered her, though, and she moved her hand, absently biting the nails of it instead. "Sortin' yerself out is a good thing," she said instead. "There's been too much happenin' t' you in this place - 'm surprised you ain't fled t' the hills yet."

"Manuel's not the only stubborn person around." Taking a deep breath, he reached out and took her hand. "Don't bite your nails," he said with a wry little smile.

"The place does tend t' attract the stubborn ones," she replied, smiling in return at the contact. It was pathetic, but she needed all the contact she could get lately. It helped reassure her people thought she was worth the effort.

"Cain really has been working you hard," he said quietly, studying her hand. "You've got to be getting there, though, in terms of fixing the damage?"

"Gettin' there. He makes me do all the shite jobs, since he don't like me that much." Amanda shrugged. "I ain't about t' let him get the better of me, tho' it's temptin' t' dump a bucket of plaster on his head every time he calls me a junkie."

"Resist the temptation," Nathan said dryly. "Seriously. As appealing an image as it might be..." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, careful of the blisters, then let go. "So you're going to be taking Hindi with me, I saw. Did Manuel tell you he's taking the international relations course?"

"He said somethin' 'bout it. Think I might have t' brush off the translatin' spell for him with all the readin' you said it'll take." She leaned her head against his shoulder, feeling better for the first time in hours. "Strange got all excited when I told him I was thinkin' of takin' Hindi. He's been a bit narky at me since the other week, so it was good. S'pose I disappointed him, fallin' off the wagon the way I did."

Nathan, after a moment, shifted a little, putting an arm around her shoulders. "I don't know," he said quietly. "Just in case I didn't make it clear, Amanda... I'm not feeling disappointed in you. At all. Worried, yeah. But not disappointed."

The girl leaned into him, turning slightly so she could rest her face against his shoulder. "I know," she said quietly. "Doesn't stop me bein' disappointed in meself, but it helps. 'S why I didn't say anythin' - I could stand the thought of you bein' disappointed with me."

"You'd have to..." He paused, thinking. "Well, go on a homicidal rampage or something to make me disappointed with you. And even then I'd assume you probably had a reason." Nathan smiled slightly. "I'm really a surprisingly forgiving person, you know."

"No homicidal rampages. Not even if Lee an' Manny fuck each other senseless in the kitchen in front of me," Amanda replied with a small chuckle. "I might have t' break her other arm an' Manny's legs, but no homicidal rampages. Too bloody messy."

"Good to hear," Nathan murmured, relaxing a little. "They're so hard on the carpets."