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[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

Shiro finally finds Alex in their room on Tuesday, after having not seen much of him over the weekend. Future plans are discussed, Shiro offers his support in Alex's time of need, and then goes on to do something unbelievably stupid, or so he thinks. Alex is touched, they're cute, and then bedtime.


Shiro hadn't seen Alex much, if at all, the past couple of days. He had apparently not slept in their room Sunday or Monday nights. Shiro was a bit worried, but he knew that he would have been told if something had happened to Alex. Nonetheless, it relaxed him greatly when he returned to his room Tuesday night and saw Alex sitting on his bed. "Hey."

Alex looked up from the book he was reading when Shiro walked in. He was feeling a bit better after his conversations with Paul and Scott, but he was still worn out from his many nights of not sleeping. "Hey"

Tired and ready for bed, Shiro went to his dresser to take out a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. He was mostly over any embarrassment from Alex seeing his discolored body, but he still wasn't entirely comfortable, so he waited until Alex was reading again before undressing. Once he had his nightclothes on, he began folding his jeans and sweatshirt. "What's up? I haven't seen you all day."

Alex shrugged nonchalantly as he kept reading. He was too tired to go into details unless asked. "Not much, just hung out with Scott a bit then did some skating."

Shiro frowned. It didn't take a genius to see that Alex was still frazzled, to say the least, so he pushed on. "Where were you Sunday? With your brother? You weren't here . . ." He hoped he wasn't sounding overly-worried.

Alex sighed and dropped his book into his lap. "First I tried to skate board in the dark...then Paul talked some sense into me and took me to my brother...which is where I was the last two nights." His face fell a bit. "I'm sorry if I worried you..."

Shiro shook his head and sat down at his desk to check his e-mail and the journals one last time before bed. "No, it's okay, I understand." He paused for a moment. "How are you?"

Alex shrugged again, leaning his head back against the wall. "I'm alright now I think...I've told Scott everything and he was okay with everything..." He smiled thinking about the entire day he'd spent with his brother. "It was great." As long as he didn't think about Lorna, everything was great.

That made Shiro smile. "Good, I'm glad. You're not yourself when you don't smile, you know." Finishing up, he shut his laptop and went to his bed. "Everything will be okay, you'll see."

"Are you kidding? I'm glad you're smiling...you've had it rougher then me lately..." Alex put his book aside. "How are things by the way...we haven't really gotten a chance to talk in a while."

Shiro waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about me. I'm over the worst part, I think. Now it's just a matter of adapting. You've done your part worrying about me, it's time I take on that role."

Alex couldn't help but snort. "Not talking about things was what got me in my current mess Shiro...don't do that to yourself, promise?" His tone was very much serious.

"Fine." Reaching over to his nightstand, he opened the drawer and pulled out what looked like a thing magazine. "I've been thinking about what to do after I am done here. I think that I might try applying here." He tossed it over to Alex. It was a brochure for Parsons School of Design in Greenwich Village.

It landed in his lap upside down and Alex flipped it over before looking at it. "Wow, Shiro...this is awesome. This will be what, in a year right? That's when I'm hoping to apply to University of Hawaii, studying the volcanoes." He grinned before looking through his bangs at his best friend. "You know I don't think I've ever seen any of your art..."

"I'm not really that good," Shiro said, trying to be modest. "I don't even have a portfolio. I am going to need to do a lot of work this term in order to get what I need to be accepted here. But I didn't know you want to go back to Hawaii." He sounded disappointed. "That's so far from here."

"I'm sure you're awesome..." Alex bit his lip as he sensed Shiro's disappointment. "I wanted to go there since before I came here to the mansion. I really wanna study the volcanoes and stuff...I know it's far...but we'd both be in college anyway...plus you know, it would be like going back to happier times..." He was rambling and blushed, tossing back the magazine.

Shiro mentally smacked himself. This was something important to Alex, and Shiro had no right to be anything but supportive of it. "Far be it from me to try to dissuade you from following your dream, Alex. I just . . . I don't . . . It wouldn't be the same with you all the way across the country. Leyu-chan would miss you."

Alex smiled gently. "I'll miss you too Shiro, it's just something I gotta do, for me ya know? Plus I think getting out of New York would do me good for a while."

"But you'll come and visit whenever you can, right?" Shiro asked hopefully. "Or better yet, I will fly down to Hawaii to visit you. Even though we lost our chance to visit there this summer, I would still like to see your home."

"Of course I will. And I'm sure Scott will need to check on me constantly so you can ride down with him. You'll love it, really. It's the most beautiful place on earth..." It killed him not to add Lorna in that statement, he really wanted to show her his home as well. He sighed sadly, which really didn't go with what he had just said.

Sure enough, Shiro didn't miss the sigh and immediately knew its cause. After a slight hesitation, he got up from his bed and sat down next to Alex on his. Putting a comforting arm around his friend's shoulders, he said "No improvements on that front?" He didn't even need to elaborate on what he was referring to.

Alex shook his head, sadly. "Not really. It's a long story but I told Paul and after he took me to Scott, he promised he would talk to Lorna. He did and apparently she wants to talk to me, but...Shiro I've been rejected once...I can't do it again. No one else did, not you, Paul or even Scott..." He sniffled, trying to hide it.

Shiro's heart was breaking at this sight, so he pulled Alex into a brief hug. He didn't take his arm off of Alex's shoulders when they let go, though. "At least she is willing to speak, so that shows that she is not completely insane. The important question is, do you want to take her back now that she's shown this side of herself?"

"More then anything." Alex said softly, leaning into Shiro, like he had Paul and Scott. "I just...don't know how."

For some reason that he couldn't fathom, that first statement made Shiro frown. Of course he wanted Alex back with Lorna, right? "I think you may just need to talk," he said slowly. "Calmly and candidly."

"Yeah I know...I'm just afraid it's not going to go like that and we just end up fighting about something again..." He looked at Shiro and was slightly confused by his frown. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied all to quickly, forcing the frown to change into a smile, albeit a rather weak one. "If she is willing to talk, then she must be in the right mental state. I don't think she wants to throw things around if talking means that you can be back together." Why was Shiro's throat feeling dry all of a sudden?

Their faces were really close and Alex used that to study his best friend's weak smile. Shiro was confusing him right now and that's not what he needed, something else to worry about. "I...I hope so...Shiro, are you sure you're alright?"

"Stop," Shiro said adamantly. "I don't need to be worried over right now. You are the one who is hurting, so you are the one in need of comfort. Please, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"Tell me what's wrong." Alex couldn't help it, it's what blurted out. "Sorry but...you look...sad. If you tell me, I won't have to worry..." Alex was really concerned about Shiro, for it wasn't that long ago that it was Shiro that needed comforting.

"I'm being a little girl," Shiro said self-deprecatingly, moving back from Alex a bit. "Having friends, especially one I care for as much as I do you, is still a new concept to me. I don't know what to do here. I wish there was some way I could make you smile, make you forget, if only for just a minute, that life sucks. God knows that's what I want. Er, wanted."

Alex raised an eyebrow as he caught the miss said word, as he tried not to look lost from the loss of contact. "Want? Wanted? Shiro, I'm confused." Instead of telling Shiro what he wanted, he scooted closer to Shiro, closing the distance that he had moved away. "And right now, just staying close is a start..."

"I want to cheer you up," Shiro said quietly, moving so that his and Alex's legs were right up against each other. "You've been helping me through tough times. Just tell me what to do."

Alex looked down to where their legs where touching, feeling comfortable just be near someone he trusted. "Shiro...I...I don't know. I'm feeling pretty safe right now...Do what you feel like I guess...It can't be bad right?"

In retrospect, Shiro thought that what he did was insanely stupid, on par with trying to burn himself out. Leaning forward to close the remaining distance between him and Alex, he slid a hand around his waist, holding him gently, and softly pressed his lips against his friend's. The warning sirens in his mind were almost deafening.

The hand around the waist wasn't so bad, Paul and Scott had done the same thing. It was the kiss that made him blink in surprise. It was more timid than anything he had ever received from Lorna, but comforting at the same time. He didn't pull away, but he didn't exactly respond either. He was just...startled.

Shiro's gut instinct was to get up and run when Alex didn't respond. But he knew that would make things really bad, so he just pulled away, ashamed beyond belief, unable to even look at Alex. "Shit. Alex, I . . . Shit. I'm sorry. I don't know . . . shit." Well, that much was true.

Alex reached out and put a hand on Shiro's shoulder. "No wait...It...it was comforting actually, to know someone cares about me that much..." he gave Shiro a small smile. "You just kind of startled me. I wasn't expecting it."

"I don't know what came over me," Shiro said squeamishly, all but squirming in his seat. "That was definitely not the right thing to do."

"Shiro, calm down..." Alex scooted closer to him again. "Well if that wasn't the right thing to do, what is? I'm actually touched that you...ya know..." Now it was Alex's turn to blush and he was touched, the fact that Shiro cared enough to get up the nerve to do that.

"I'm not!" Shiro blurted out before clamping his mouth shut to compose himself. "I mean, I'm not attracted to you. I mean I think you're good looking, but from a purely platonic point of view . . ." Shiro couldn't have dug himself deeper if he tried. "Damn. I just thought that it was the right thing to do, to make you see that I would never reject you."

Alex smiled gently. "If that's what it meant, which is more then I thought, then I can't thank you enough Shiro..." Now it was his turn to sling a shoulder over Shiro's shoulders, his voice getting softer and more serious. "Thank you...for showing me that...I needed it, more then you know."

That brought a smile to Shiro's face, but he still felt ill at ease. "You must think that I'm some dumb queer now."

"Then you're still my dumb queer best friend who embarrassed himself to cheer me up and show me he cares. I couldn't ask for anything more..." Then his face flushed. "Well, I guess I could ask for one thing..."

"But I'm not," Shiro insisted, feeling his own face heat up in embarrassment. "What do you need?"

"I know and ummm...I ummm...I've been sleeping with Scott in his room the past few nights, because you know, I felt safe there." He scratched the back of his head with his free hand. "Would you mind sharing my bed tonight? I'm afraid if I sleep alone, the nightmares will come back..." He said the last part really quickly, his own face heating up in embarrassment.

"Um, s-sure," Shiro responded, stuttering. "I, anoo, promise to keep my hands to myself," he added lamely.

"Do you think I would have asked if I thought otherwise? You...you don't have too if you don't want...It's just, I've been spoiled with two nights without nightmares from sleeping next to Scott..." he shrugged uneasily. "Like I said, you don't have too, if you don't want..."

Shiro smiled self-critically and nodded. "Of course, Alex. I'm sorry. I'm demonstrating my idiocy again."

Alex smiled and turned to hug Shiro. "Thank you."

Shiro returned the hug. "You're welcome." He let the embrace linger for a little bit before letting go, and smiled shyly before getting ready to go to sleep.

Alex didn't mind, in fact he welcomed it. He moved under the covers and moved to the edge, giving Shiro as much room as he needed.

Shiro didn't want to seem ungrateful, so he didn't settle himself at the end of the bed, but he kept a safe distance from Alex. "Good night," he said softly.

"Good night," Alex said softly in return, closing his eyes and hoping for a peaceful night...but at least he felt safe with his best friend beside him.

Comments

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

*flails* You're killing me! *falls down dead to prove it*

Very cute, you two.

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

And here Shiro is, thinking that Lorna is going to kill him ;-)

I wanted Shiro to go a bit farther, but he steadfastly refused. But maybe I'll be able to wrangle him into an AU version of this scene . . .

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

She very well might. Either that or throw herself off a bridge (maybe both!) but I thought it was very very cute.

If you do AU it, I want to see it. *nods*

[x-vega.livejournal.com]

...far too cute. Far.

Paul's going to have to put the requisite supplies (for stealing by students too shy to get them otherwise) in the right places. He's reminded of this now. And will talk to Scott or Moira.