xp_logs | Nathan and Moira, Sunday morning and afternoon

At the cemetery in Sacramento, Nathan finally gets the chance to say good-bye.

Whatever Moira had been expecting when they arrived at the cemetery, this most certainly wasn't it. It was green everywhere and the only thing that broke it up was the white marble of the graves. She stepped carefully, trying to tread quietly, as she followed Nathan down a secluded path. She had no clue where they were going but figured he had memorized the information down to a "t".

Nathan had been subdued the entire morning. Not much of a surprise with all the emotional stress from yesterday and the dream from last night. She didn't press, content to offer him the silent support until he needed, or wanted, more.

He should have brought flowers. Or something. Wasn't that what one did, at graves? He hadn't thought of it, or much of anything, this morning. After the trip to the hotel, then the drive out to Sacramento, then the shared dream...

"This is it," he said a bit hoarsely as the path led down into a secluded little grove. The trees shielded it from the rest of the cemetary, as if it was in its own little world.

There was one white gravestone there in the grass.

There were flowers growing around the grave. It was obvious that the caretakers to this cemetery didn't come by to take care of it all that often. They were probably instructed not to. Stepping up behind Nathan, Moira touched him on the arm briefly. #Check yer pocket,# she sent softly, stepping back a few paces. This was something he probably wanted to do by himself at first.

Nathan blinked at her for a moment, then reached into his coat pocket. There was something there that hadn't been.... he drew it out and stared blankly down at the picture of Aliya and Tyler Mistra had sent him. It had been carefully laminated since he'd put it in the drawer of the desk and tried to pretend it wasn't there. Protected against the elements?

He looked back at her, his eyes blurring and stinging again. "Thanks," he said hoarsely, managing a wan smile, and then turned around and walked forward to the grave.

The inscription was simple. Their names, Aliya and Tyler Dayspring, and the date they'd died. And one word inscribed beneath.

'Remembered'

Moira crossed her arms as if to ward off a chill. The entire weekend had felt rather surreal and this was no exception. She watched Nathan kneel in front of the grave and couldn't help but feel like she was intruding. Nathan had wanted her there, though, so she didn't leave.

A realization hit her. She regretted not having had the chance to meet Aliya. Aliya had attempted to come to Muir to see Nathan but the request had been turned down flat. Either Mistra had been 'worried' that Nathan was going to die or they were still concerned about possible infection. There was no way of knowing. There were so many missed opportunities and chances all throughout their various lives. For good or ill.

"Hi," Nathan said very quietly, feeling somewhat foolish. He was talking to a piece of marble. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he turned his attention to placing the picture, using a groove in the stone to prop it up. "I would have... been here sooner, if I'd known, I guess. That's the thing to do, right?"

Aliya and Tyler smiled out at him from the picture, alive and vibrant and happy. His vision blurred even further, and he raised a hand to rub at his eyes, trying to will the tears away.

"At least he found you a pretty place," he murmured, his voice breaking. "It's quiet. Peaceful. I'm glad."

Moira's heart ached for him but she still didn't move. Just watched.

There was no noise but the rustling of leaves in the wind, they were that far away from the road here. "I'm glad you're together," he whispered, hands on his knees, sheer willpower holding him upright against the twisting pain in his chest. "It's only right..."

He knelt there for a few minutes, staring through his tears at the gravestone, at the picture. Listening to the wind through the trees.

"I'm sorry." The words were barely audible. "I loved you both so much. I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

A shiver ran through her at the immense sadness that spilled across the link and Moira blinked back tears of her own. There was a tree next to her and she leaned, almost gratefully, on it.

Nathan reached out, brushed a stray leaf from the top of the gravestone. His eyes went back to the inscription below the date of their deaths.

"Remembered," he whispered. "Always..." His throat did its very best to close, but he forced his next words out, ignoring the way his voice broke. "I have to go now. I don't... I don't think I'll be back. I don't need this to remember you. Not really. It's just good to know that it's here."

When she noticed he was starting to stand up, Moira pushed herself away from the tree. She bit her lip, not really sure what was going to happen next or how he was going to react to all of this. It had been an incredibly tough weekend and with all the stress from everything else, she was more than a little worried about him.

Nathan stood there for a moment, staring down at the gravestone. "I won't forget you. Ever," he whispered, the tears sliding freely down his cheeks. "But I have to let go. It's time. Seven years... I need to be able to breathe again. To smile when I think about you." To leave that hotel room in his mind and close the door behind him, forever.

He reached out, touched the gravestone for a moment. "Goodbye," he whispered, and turned away.

Moira didn't say anything, just held out her hands to him. This entire weekend was about Nathan shutting doors and being able to go on with his life and he had to make all the moves.

He walked right to her, into her open arms. "I'm so glad you're here," he murmured shakily, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears as he hugged her. "So glad."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Moira leaned into him, holding him tightly. There was still tension in his body but it was slowly leaving, she could feel the muscles start to unwind. "So am I," she murmured, voice muffled.

He could have stood there forever, just holding her. But the wind blew a little harder, the leaves rustling louder, and he was reminded of where they were. "I'm ready to go," he whispered, pulling back just enough to kiss her on the forehead. "Let's go home."

"Aye, we've people waitin' for us." More relaxed and at ease now, she slipped her hand into his as they turned around and headed out.

Nathan looked down at her as they walked back along the path. "Thank you," he said very quietly, raising his free hand to wipe his eyes. "I know this hasn't been particularly easy on you, this weekend..."

Moira shrugged and raised his hand to her lips to press a kiss onto his knuckles. "Nay matter," she said, smiling. "Ye needed this, Nathan, an' I'm jus' glad I was able ta be there for ye." Her smiled wavered slightly. "...at least, I knew where Kevin was...so dinnae worry 'bout it bein' 'ard on me, aye?"

Nathan smiled, a bit wanly. But the warmth he felt at her words was so profound it almost hurt, and he squeezed back as she let their linked hands fall back to their sides. "I love you," he whispered. "I need to start making a list of my own, you know. I keep coming up with new reasons why."

She laughed at that. "Maybe one day we can compare those lists," she teased.

Even a month ago, he would have resisted the tug back to the here and now, out of the shadows of the past. But he had said goodbye. He was going home, with her.

And he was... happy. Her hand was warm in his, her end of the link glowed softly, like morning sunlight. The sadness was still there, but yet there was also her, here, alive, loving him, and...

This was right. Right.

He looked back over his shoulder, once, at the grave. Then he turned back to her, smiling, as they walked out into the sunlight together.

On the plane on the way back to New York, Nathan and Moira manage to relax. They're both looking forward to getting back, and back to their life.

First-class really didn't give you that much more space, Nathan thought grumpily, slouching in his seat. He had pulled the cover down over the window, mostly because it was cloudy and looking out onto nothing but endless gray really hadn't been doing anything for his mood.

While it was obvious Nathan was slightly uncomfortable, Moira was able to stretch out fairly well. It helped that she was a good deal smaller than him, though. "Ye okay?" she asked, leaning against him.

"I'll be fine," Nathan assured her, reaching out and taking her hand. "Stiff as hell by the time we land," he amended with a wry smile, "but I'm getting used to that." The plane was half-empty, which helped a little. "I really don't know why commercial flights leave me in this state. It's not really all that cramped in here."

"Worried 'bout thin's other than bein' cramped?" she guessed, thinking about how he liked to avoid places with passports and the like.

He couldn't help a chuckle. "That's probably it, you know." He squeezed her hand gently. "You could have let me play with my peanuts, you know."

"Ye were goin' ta make a mess an' then we would 'ave 'ad ta explain ta th' stewardess why there were peanut shells all over our seats." It was a good thing they had discovered the arm rests between them could go up, she decided, moving them to be able to lean on him more.

"You could have given her the standard answer," Nathan suggested, putting his arm around her. "'Because my boyfriend is three.'"

Snickering slightly, Moira shook her head. "Ye are at times. 'Tis cute." She stiffled a yawn and grimaced. All in all, it had been an exhausting weekend. Not only from the flying back and forth but also from the emotional turmoil they had gone through. And it didn't help that neither of them had really slept after the shared dream last night.

"It'll be good to get back and sleep in our own bed, won't it? Our new bed," Nathan said with a slight smile. The bedroom set they'd ordered had arrived on Thursday, and it looked just as good in the new suite as he'd expected. "We'll have to go get paint tomorrow night or something and get going on those walls."

"Mmm, paintin'. I love tha' bed, by th' way. Even if ye do still 'og th' bed. I swear, 'tis a talent."

"So much more room to hog," he said meekly, relaxing a little. "You know," he said after a moment, "maybe it's a combination of the passport thing and not having access to the controls of the plane. They say doctors make the worst patients. Maybe pilots make bad passengers?"

Moira thought about it for a second and then nodded. "Probably. Ye know 'ow 'orrid I am when I'm sick or 'urt..." She punched him lightly at the look he gave her. "Makes sense tha' ye'd be itchin' ta fly this instead o' sittin' back 'ere."

"Well, not that I actually want to fly this big lumbering beast. I just..." He paused, grinning again. "Don't like the lack of control." She snorted at him, and he poked her in the ribs. "Don't laugh at me."

A squeak escaped before she could bat his hand away. "Meanie." Moira smiled at the passing stewardess and then grinned up at Nathan. "Glad this time around, yer nay bein' 'it on by annoying Barbie look alikes."

"I looked at myself in the mirror in the closet they call a washroom back there," Nathan said wryly. "Between the lack of sleep and the fact that I forgot to pack my razor, I am not looking particularly hit-on-able."

"Well at least it means I dinnae 'ave ta go all "grr" on people. Ta bloody tired."

He kissed the top of her head. "We should be back to the school in good time," he murmured. "Drop the bags on the floor and hit the bed?"

"Sounds like a plan. Ye may 'ave ta drag me considerin' I might nay make it ta th' bed. Lucky if'n I make it ta th' couch." Moira squeezed his hand. "Glad we came, though."

"I'm sure no one would look twice at the sight of me carrying you," Nathan said, and took a deep breath. "I'm glad we came, too," he said quietly. "I really needed to do it."

"I know. Even if'n it was 'ard on ye." Especially revisiting the hotel. The cemetary hadn't been the worst part, it had been the hotel.

"I promised Jack I'd write something about the weekend once we got back and send it to him," Nathan said slowly. "Think I'll wait and do it in the morning, though. I have about three functioning brain cells to rub together at the moment."

"Ooo, between us we 'ave six!" Moira shifted again, trying to stretch out the slight kinks in her legs. "An' good, Jack'll understand why ye're waiting until tomorrow. Think it'll 'elp ta write it down?"

"I'm not sure. I guess we'll find out." He chuckled softly. "Glad I got that quiz for Hindi written before we left. There's one less thing to do in the morning."

"See? I told ye premakin' some o' yer class stuff would come in 'andy. Nothin' better than jus' 'andin' somethin' ta them an' zonin' out in front o' class." There was a teasing tone to her words. She never thought she'd really enjoy teaching but it was becoming something she rather looked forward to.

"I prefer them to do most of the work, yes," Nathan said and then laughed, remembering that discussion with Haroun. "Apparently I'm too easy on them. I encourage group hugging or something."

A snort escaped and she grinned. "Group 'uggin'? Tha's a new one."

"Yeah. I'm just a big softie who coddles them shamelessly." He looked down at her, mustering an innocent look. "I mean, I thought we were here to coddle them..."

Moira's eyes widened. "Aren't we? Thought we 'ad ta 'old their 'ands an' coo at them...we've been doin' it wron' all this time?"

"Shame on us," Nathan said reprovingly. "We must arrange to be publicly beaten as soon as we get back."

"I 'eard floggin' is th' way ta go."

"We should ask for volunteers," Nathan said, snickering helplessly.

Moira nodded, unable to answer for a few seconds. "We're 'orrid."

"Yes," Nathan said as firmly as he could, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it. "We are. We really are." He paused for a moment. "You know what I noticed this week?"

"Wha'?"

"When people say our names at the school," Nathan said, "it comes out in one breath. Whether it's 'Nate and Moira' or 'Dr. MacTaggart and Mr. Dayspring'." He grinned a little foolishly. "No hesitation in between."

"Really?" Moira laughed and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "So, tha's a good thin' because ye seemed pleased?"

"I was just... tickled, I guess. I get unreasonably pleased by the little things at times." His grin softened into a smile. #And I'd like people to be saying our names in the same breath for a very long time to come.#

The link suddenly felt very soft in her mind and Moira flushed slightly as she smiled back up at him. #Ye know, so do I. Forever, if we can manage tha'."

Yes, Nathan thought after a moment, that sounded just about right. "I can't wait to get back," he said quietly, his smile lingering. "Even if we wind up crashing two minutes after we walk in the door."

"Sleep good," Moira agreed, fighting to keep her eyes open. "An' after sleep, we can go see people."

"And plot evil teacher things to do. And pick paint. And listen to Bella shriek at us for leaving her alone all weekend..." Nathan closed his eyes, still smiling. All the little things that made up life. Their life.

"An' jus' be together, relaxin'." Grumping slightly, she pushed her way further up, managing to somehow lay her head down comfortably on Nathan's lap. "Wake me when we get there?"

"Either that or I'll just carry you off the plane," Nathan agreed, opening his eyes and smiling down at her. "Go to sleep, love," he said very quietly, stroking her hair. "Thank you."

"Welcome," Moira murmured, no longer trying to fight off the wave of sleepyness. "Love ye."