xp_logs | Angelo and Samson, backdated

Angelo goes for another counselling session, in which he demonstrates how much stronger he's got in his time in the mansion, and how the revelation has actually helped him somewhat.

Angelo made his way along to Dr. Samson's office, for the first time since the revelation had occurred. He was feeling at least somewhat better, especially since the Professor had been in touch, and was ready to talk it over, so had made an appointment.

Samson hummed quietly to himself as he prepared for Angelo's appointment. He kept up with some of the news around the school and the breach of security had definitely caught his attention. However, he was pleased to see that so far, people seemed to be handling it all well. When he saw Angelo in the doorway, he beckoned the boy in. "Angelo, come sit down," he said genially. "Close the door behind you, if you will"

Angelo obeyed on both counts, smiling slightly at the therapist as he took his seat. "Hi."

"What can I do for you today?" Samson took a sip of his coffee, then set it aside, waiting for Angelo to talk.

Angelo swallowed, then began. "Well. It's about the journal thing."

Samson nodded. "I'm aware of what was said, at least. And that Charles has things under control. How can I help you with this? How are you feeling?"

Angelo hesitated. "I... um. Better. Not that that'd be hard. But I kinda needed to see you about it anyway."

"What do you need to see me about specifically? Are you having trouble dealing with the fact that your friends know this about you? Or is it dealing with how you feel about yourself?"

"Some of both. I mean, no one's said anythin' bad about it, an' most of the ones who matter most already knew... but I didn't want the others findin' out without me choosin' to tell them."

"And that choice was taken away from you," Samson said, looking thoughtful. "No one likes that, it's hard to deal with when you're compromised. Are you feeling unsafe in a general sense now?"

Angelo shrugged. "Well. In a way. I don't like how I can't be absolutely sure it's not one of the ones who matter that did this. I mean, I don't think it was. But I can't know it wasn't. An' the Professor says this won't happen again, but what else could whoever it was do?"

Samson held his hands out, palms up. "I don't know. Whoever it doesn't show an understanding of the people at this school, I think. This is almost the last place on earth where that kind of information would get a reaction out of people. There are some things we can't be sure of, Angelo. Trust is a very tricky thing."

Angelo nodded, carefully not saying, Especially for me. "Paige didn't do it. I know she didn't. Like I said, I don't think any of the people who knew before would've done - but Paige is the only one I never, ever, thought she might have. Even for a second. Well, maybe Nathan too, but no one else."

"Did you ever consider, Angelo, that it might have been an educated guess?" Samson rested his chin on the palm of one hand. "Your experience is far from unique, you know. If someone who didn't like you were trying to hurt you, they could simply piece together what's publically known about you and come to that conclusion. It doesn't have to be someone you told."

Angelo blinked - that clearly hadn't occurred to him. "...I hadn't thought of that. Makes sense, though, an' I like that thought better."

Samson smiled warmly at him. "Angelo. I've seen many young men and women in my office who have resorted to the same thing to support themselves. I even know some of them who have continued to do so to get where they want in life. I don't necessarily support this, mostly because of the social stigma of sex-work and the dangers of it, but it is something that people - decent, intelligent, moral people - do in order to get by in this world. You're far from being alone in this, and it would be an easy thing to extrapolate. How do you feel you're handling this kind of exposure?"

Angelo considered his answer. "The first night - not so well. Nathan an' then Paige were there, though, they were really good. An' I got a lot of e-mails, some from people I don't know so well an' one from someone I don't think really likes me, sayin' it didn't matter. So."

Samson nodded. "These things rarely matter when you're surrounded by pragmatic, intelligent people. You say you don't think you handled it well the first night. Why not?"

Angelo grinned wryly. "'Cause Nathan found me throwin' up in the bathroom. A lot. Couldn't really walk too well at that point, either."

Samson steepled his fingers and frowned, looking at Angelo intently. "That sounds like the normal reaction of a very upset person. Angelo, did you cause yourself harm at any point because of this?"

He shook his head. "Not this time. Might've done, though, but I was too busy bein' sick at first. An' Nathan an' Paige didn't leave me alone for a minute after he showed up."

"And you didn't send them away. Or shut them out. Or leave, yourself. I believe that if you'd been compelled to punish yourself over this, you would have, Angelo. And you haven't." Samson smiled a little. "I think that's a victory for you, in case you hadn't taken the time to realize it. Congratulations. The worst - or close to it - happened, and you dealt with it like a healthy person would."

Angelo chuckled slightly. "If you think Paige would've listened to me tryin' to send her away in that state, you don't know her. But... yeah. I guess it is."

"You're doing well, Angelo, in the middle of an ugly mess," Samson said with some pride in his voice. "I just wanted to make sure you took credit for that. How are you doing now?"

Angelo smiled genuinely. "A lot better. It's like... it happened, no one cared, it's done an' over. You know?"

Samson nodded. "You're liked and cared-for, Angelo. Even someone who dislikes you enough to go to all that trouble can't change that. I hope that helps your sense of trust toward the people around you, maybe toward /most/ people in general."

Angelo nodded thoughtfully. "I'm still workin' on that part. It would've helped if the Professor'd told me which of them I shouldn't trust, but I see why he didn't. 's possible I wouldn't anyway."

"Well, I think it's probably because he's relying on your judgement to already know who you can and can't trust. If I know him, he wouldn't let you make a bad choice." Samson gave Angelo a crooked smile. "I think it's terribly ironic that someone who set out to do you harm ended up doing you some good. How unfortunate for them, no? But it wouldn't have gone that way without your hard work on yourself."

Angelo returned the smile. "Maybe I'll have to post somethin' about it, make sure they know. Get my little bit of payback."

"Living well really is the best revenge, Angelo. Be happy and make yourself stronger. I think you're handling this well. You're showing respect for yourself, an ability to trust Professor Xavier and an ability to lean on your friends, and the capacity to not be crushed by life's foibles. If you crash later, don't feel badly about it," Samson admonished. "That's part of the process as well. We all do. My door is open if you need support."

Angelo nodded. "I know. An' thanks. Don't think I'll be lackin' in company, but if I need more advice, I'll definitely be by. An' the usual regular times, of course."

"Do you feel you're coping with this well, moving past it? It looks like you are, I just want your personal assessment for my records." Samson looked up, pen poised over paper.

After a few moments' consideration, Angelo nodded firmly. "Yeah. I really think I'm on the way, at least."

"Is there anything I can do for you right now, to help you along, other than listening?"

Angelo shook his head. "Can't think of anythin' right now. I'll let you know if there is."

"You have my number if you need it," Samson reminded him.

Angelo smiled, nodding in acknowledgment and thanks. "I do. Still got that card for the shelter, too. I'll remember."

"Good," Samson said firmly. "Use the number if you need it, Angelo. Don't hesitate. But I think you've got other people you can call first."

The smile grew stronger. "I do. It's... it's good. Missed havin' family, while I was out there."

"I'm glad you've found a support group, people you can care for and trust. Sounds like you've done well for yourself, Angelo. How has this all turned out, compared to your expectations?" Samson asked.

Angelo thought, trying to remember what his expectations had been, at the beginning. "A whole lot better than it could've gone. Got my... got Paige, an' people who're family to me, like I said."

"Sounds like you're doing well, then. You seem very positive, Angelo." Samson made a few more notes.

"I'm tryin' to be", he answered quietly. "There's still rough days, but they don't come as much as they used to."

"Rough days are, unfortunately, inevitable. I'm glad to hear they're coming less often."

Angelo nodded. "An' when they do, there's usually someone to notice now - an' I think I'm gettin' better at lettin' them. This place's good like that."

"It certainly seems to be improving that way," Samson said, nodding. "Things have certainly felt less out of control around here of late."

Angelo laughed a little. "Oh, I think you could say that, yeah. Well, apart from Asgard an' Nathan's really bad summer."

"Even with those things." Samson pointed his pen at Angelo, smiling. "That's how I calculate."

Angelo blinked, not understanding. "How do you mean?"

"I mean that I look at everything, all the crises and all the bad days and everything that falls down or blows up, Angelo," Samson explained. "And then I look at how people move through it and come out of it. And I can say that things are looking up. For everyone. To the trained eye, things are improving on the whole."

Angelo nodded, getting it now, and smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I'm glad you concur with my observations," Samson said lightly. "Always good to hear it from the ones in the field."