Friday night, Alison’s room
Sep. 17th, 2004 07:46 pmBackdated, obviously.
Lorna and Alison talk. With some prodding, Lorna eventually decides she needs to take Betsy’s advice. Alison holds her hand while Lorna calls Brent.
Lorna knocked on Ali’s door then ducked her head inside. “Hey. You busy?” she asked, holding herself upright by the doorjamb.
"I-" she stopped for a brief instant, taking a closer look at Lorna before going on, "am never too busy for the bestest roomie in the whole world. Come on in."
These days, the way Lorna looked right now was good. She looked less tired than usual and only a bit worried. The strain that always showed at the edges of her expression was mostly hidden. So all in all, good. “Thanks.” She let go and half tumbled into the room, circling around for a moment then sitting down on the floor. She had the phone in her hand.
Raising an eyebrow in curiosity Alison set her notebook aside, marking her page with the pen. Music writing wasn't really happening all that much anyway, although these days she'd not have turned Lorna away even if she'd been working on her life's masterpiece.
"What's up?" She flopped back on the bed, wriggling around and then turning on her stomach so she could look at Lorna and the phone.
“Am I being an idiot?” Lorna asked frankly, settling the phone on one knee and resting on her elbow on the other. With her hair pulled back and her face free of make-up, she looked about five years younger.
The look suited her actually, and Alison smiled a bit. "Depends. What exactly are we talking about?" She laced her fingers under her chin and waited patiently, glad that Lorna was coming to her to ask this, instead of hiding out in her room or curling up as small as she could possibly manage on the couch in their common room.
“I’m thinking of calling Brent. He’d mentioned going to a museum tomorrow and told me to call him if I wanted to go. I’d like to get out of here because, yeah but…” She gestured at the phone and made a face. “Am I being stupid?”
"Being stupid for wanting to get out of here and accepting an offer someone made to you because they wanted to see you?" She tilted her head to the side, going on after a brief pause. "Stupid for being scared of going out and doing this? Wanting to and not at the same time?"
“For going out with Brent at all. I mean, last night, I told him about Alex and told him that I still loved him but then I asked him—Brent him—to the party.” Lorna sighed, “So am I stupid or cruel?”
"He was nice to you." And it was a good thing, otherwise Alison would have had to wander by and have... words with him. "You told him all about it and he told you he still wanted to get to know you. Right?" Of course he had. Who wouldn't want to know Lorna more?
Lorna shook her head, “That’s not what I’m asking, Ali. I know that he’s a crazy person. I want to know if I’m screwing up again. In advance this so that I can stop further pain and anguish.”
Tightening her lips for a moment, Alison got off the bed, sitting on the floor and leaning back on it while tugging Lorna closer gently, so that they were sitting side by side. "Crazy because he's willing to try and take a shot at winning you even if you told him it was impossible?" It seemed important, that point. Even if what Lorna was hinting at was subtle. In some ways.
Lorna bumped shoulders with Ali deliberately, “Yes, crazy because he’s attempting the impossible but you still haven’t answered my question.”
A faint snort answered that, Alison bumping back. "He'd be crazy not to try, silly. He's a smart man, if you ask me." She grinned a bit, shaking her head. "You were as upfront with him as humanly possible. He knows how things are and is an adult." A pause, far more deliberate this time. "Takes two to screw up things like this, Lorna. It wasn't all your fault." The first time since she'd said this so bluntly.
Lorna bowed her head for a moment. She knew Ali would say that it wasn’t all her fault but hearing it was different than just knowing. It meant more than she’d realized it would. “You haven’t said whether or not you think I’m being an idiot. If I call Brent, am I failing Alex? We said we’d take time. Do I have the right to be doing this?”
"You're not hopping into bed with him for a wild night of monkey sex, Lorna. You're asking him to be your escort to a party. You've told him exactly how things are." She tugged at Lorna's sleeve idly, before going on. "What exactly did you and Alex decide?" If that's what really what it had been.
“We just…I said I needed time to get my head together and he agreed. Then he said he hoped I’d find someone who deserved me.” Lorna shook her head, “Though, apparently, I wasn’t supposed to actually do so. He accused me of just wanting to see if the grass was greener on the other side.” The injustice of it still made her mad, even though she wondered if it wasn’t just a little bit true. She would so easily doubt, and so reluctantly forgive, herself
Right. Lorna had given him all the chances he needed and the fact that he agreed with it had done a fair amount of damage there obviously. But it hadn't been really what he wanted, if he was acting like a jealous idiot. Gah. They were both idiots. With a small sigh, Alison slung an arm around Lorna's shoulders. "Sounds to me like neither of you really want to do this separation thing. Don't see why he'd act like that if he didn't want to be with you.”
“Of course I don’t want to be apart from him. He’s…my one thing. I can live without everything else if I have him.” Lorna winced as she said it, knowing it was exactly the kind of statement that she was supposed to be wary of. Samson wouldn’t be pleased. “So you think I’m an idiot?”
"You two have never fought before." Alison was talking more to herself than anything else. "Just because you have doesn't mean it's broken and nothing will ever be good again. At the same time - it may not be bad for you to get some time for yourself." Her voice softened as she spoke. "Doesn't mean there's no chance for the two of you, though."
WIth a sigh Alison shifted a bit, concentrating on Lorna's question. "I'm not going to answer that, Lorna. For a simple reason - my opinion can't dictate what you do with this. All I can say is you can do whatever, and I'll still be your friend."
“I’m going to be very good and not punch you.” Lorna sighed and shifted the phone to the floor so she could bring her knees up and rest her chin on them. “I’m asking you to be honest with me and you’re acting like it’s what’s going to make my decision. It’s not, Ali. I really do have my own brain. I want to know what you think because I trust you to tell me the truth.”
"I appreciate the not punching," Alison sighed tiredly, clambering up on the bed and hiding the sudden prickling of tears at her eyes at the same time as well as the wave of tiredness that swept over her. She rested on her back, looking up at the ceiling. "Couples counseling was invented for a reason. You're both taking it to extremes because you've never fought before and you don't have the tools to handle it. You're scared to death he doesn't want you so you're giving him every chance to stay away. He's probably assuming you want out because you keep doing that, so he's trying to do what he thinks you want. There."
Lorna thought about that, trying to place it on a scale of idiocy. She finally decided Alison was rating her quite high and nodded. She rested her hand on the phone then followed Alison up onto the bed, sitting next to her and looking down at her with a serious expression, “Brent was a mistake, wasn’t he? Going on a date with him was stupid and going to the museum would be insane. Betsy said I need to be fighting for Alex and I’m just giving up.” Lorna hadn't actually mentioned her talk, fight, whatever with Betsy before.
"You want to know what I'd do just now? Things being as they were? I'd go with Brent. Because he sounds like a damn good person to have as a friend, regardless of anything else. I'd also just make it clear that it was the only thing I wanted from him, and why. If you intend to work on mending things with Alex, that is. Which you should let him know first thing, if so." Hrm. The weak moment had passed and Alison was considering dropping an anvil on Alex's head if he was going to be stupid about this too. Not that he hadn't been already, mind.
Lorna made a face, “That should be a blast of a conversation. ‘Gee, Brent, I know I asked you out and all but I’m really just interested in being friends while I chase my ex some more.’ Guys love that speech.”
A shrug was the only answer. "Don't underestimate him. And what have you got to lose? Compared to what you stand to gain? And being dead honest with him is the best way to go anyway." Alison sighed a bit, closing her eyes. "Your call. You asked me my opinion, that's it really."
“No, no. You’re right. I can’t let him go on thinking that I’m going to ever be more than just a friend.” Lorna took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Right. Yes. I’m resolved now. See the resolve?”
Looking up at her, Alison gave her a small, wry grin. "Yeap. You wanna call from here now and hang on to me at the same time?" She offered one hand generously, even though the phone was still on the ground - clearly Lorna meant to make the call soon. "No time like now."
“I think there is a special hell for people who break up over the phone.” Lorna leaned forward and scooped the phone up anyway. She grabbed Alison’s hand and dialled with the other hand. “If I start to hyperventilate, like, pinch me or something, okay?”
She wasn't breaking up with Brent, Alison thought serenely. They weren't even dating, not really. "Sure, I can pinch you." And hey, if worse came to worse, she could always just make faces at her or something.
Lorna frowned as the ringing stopped, “Hi, Brent. It’s Lorna. No, I’m fine but…can we talk?” Her hand tightened on Alison’s. “Yeah, I think that would be good. Here?” Lorna gave Alison a wide-eyed, panicked look. “He wants to come here!” she mouthed.
"You know how that goes," Alison murmured, just low enough to that Brent would not overhear her. She gave Lorna's hand a reassuring squeeze, nodding at her encouragingly.
Lorna nodded then shook her head, giving Alison a Not Helping! look. “Yeah, here is okay. Um, maybe tomorrow?” She bit her lip. “Now isn’t good. Right. Um, I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.”
Everyone was a critic. Still, the look of anxiety on Lorna's face neatly wiped out any amusement Alison may have felt and instead she just waited until her room mate set the phone down on the cradle.
Lorna’s shoulders slumped and she folded over to bury her face in the comforter next to Alison. “Mm Mmmfmph mn mnmm!” she said emphatically into the mattress.
"Yes dear," Alison said, patting her on the shoulder lightly while nodding gravely. She picked up a pillow and after a moment's consideration offered it to her. "Want to have a scream?"
“Mmbbbm, mphm mmn” Lorna responded then sat up, her face red. “I’m just going to kill myself now. That way I won’t have to figure out how the hell I’m going to keep Brent and Alex at opposite ends of the mansion without actually telling either of them.”
Alison smiled serenely. "Can't kill yourself. I have right of veto. Sorry." More patting on shoulder followed. "Why keep them separated? Brent I'm sure wouldn't mind telling Alex you're one in a million," and he's a moron for letting go so easy, "and Alex did agree to separation time. If he wants to be jealous about it, then maybe he needs to re-evaluate the whole separation time thing. You're not the only one who gets to fight for someone in this."
“It’s the fighting part that worries me,” Lorna muttered. “Well, I have until tomorrow right? I’ll just smuggle him in and back out with no one the wiser.”
"Alex knows better. He'd better know better," she added in a mutter, frowning a bit. "And you don't have a thing to hide if you ask me. You're allowed to have friends who aren't mansion bound."
Lorna dropped her jaw in mock-shock, “Alison, what a shocking thing to suggest. Do you mean to say that this place isn’t the be all and end all of existence? Blasphemy, heresy, sacrilege!” She pretended to faint then rolled her shoulders in a fatalistic shrug. “I still think it’s a better idea if they don’t run into each other. For my sanity’s sake.”
A snort greeted that comment and Alison gave her a flat look. "Who do you hang out with that doesn't live here? Mmm? Right." She leaned back on the bed and thought over what might happen if they met. "Well. I'm thinking you'll want to talk to him alone so me being there is irrelevant. Which part of the mansion does Alex usually avoid? Go there. S'all."
“These days? Any place I’m likely to be. Maybe I should just post that I’m going to spend all of tomorrow in one place and he’ll avoid it like the plague.” She said it lightly and somewhat scornfully but she couldn’t quite hide how much it hurt.
"Or you could just email him in advance to let him know so that he isn't surprised and stays away on his own if that's what he'd rather do..." Alison sighed a bit, feeling more than a little sympathy for Lorna, regardless of how silly she thought the situation was when you really got down to it.
“You have a great deal of faith in my courage, expecting me to email my ex and deal with my rebound at the same time.” Lorna shook her head. “I’ll take my chances. It’s a big house, what are the odds?”
Alison just stared at her for a moment, suddenly convinced that Alex was indeed going to somehow manage to walk in the room at the worst possible moment and draw all the wrong conclusion. "oooh boy."
It took Lorna several seconds to realize what she’d said then she paled and buried her face in the mattress again, “Mm mnnm mmfphhf mnnph.”
Alison just shook her head before reaching out (again) to pat her shoulder (again). "Yep. You did." Because really, the mumbling needed no translation at all.
Lorna and Alison talk. With some prodding, Lorna eventually decides she needs to take Betsy’s advice. Alison holds her hand while Lorna calls Brent.
Lorna knocked on Ali’s door then ducked her head inside. “Hey. You busy?” she asked, holding herself upright by the doorjamb.
"I-" she stopped for a brief instant, taking a closer look at Lorna before going on, "am never too busy for the bestest roomie in the whole world. Come on in."
These days, the way Lorna looked right now was good. She looked less tired than usual and only a bit worried. The strain that always showed at the edges of her expression was mostly hidden. So all in all, good. “Thanks.” She let go and half tumbled into the room, circling around for a moment then sitting down on the floor. She had the phone in her hand.
Raising an eyebrow in curiosity Alison set her notebook aside, marking her page with the pen. Music writing wasn't really happening all that much anyway, although these days she'd not have turned Lorna away even if she'd been working on her life's masterpiece.
"What's up?" She flopped back on the bed, wriggling around and then turning on her stomach so she could look at Lorna and the phone.
“Am I being an idiot?” Lorna asked frankly, settling the phone on one knee and resting on her elbow on the other. With her hair pulled back and her face free of make-up, she looked about five years younger.
The look suited her actually, and Alison smiled a bit. "Depends. What exactly are we talking about?" She laced her fingers under her chin and waited patiently, glad that Lorna was coming to her to ask this, instead of hiding out in her room or curling up as small as she could possibly manage on the couch in their common room.
“I’m thinking of calling Brent. He’d mentioned going to a museum tomorrow and told me to call him if I wanted to go. I’d like to get out of here because, yeah but…” She gestured at the phone and made a face. “Am I being stupid?”
"Being stupid for wanting to get out of here and accepting an offer someone made to you because they wanted to see you?" She tilted her head to the side, going on after a brief pause. "Stupid for being scared of going out and doing this? Wanting to and not at the same time?"
“For going out with Brent at all. I mean, last night, I told him about Alex and told him that I still loved him but then I asked him—Brent him—to the party.” Lorna sighed, “So am I stupid or cruel?”
"He was nice to you." And it was a good thing, otherwise Alison would have had to wander by and have... words with him. "You told him all about it and he told you he still wanted to get to know you. Right?" Of course he had. Who wouldn't want to know Lorna more?
Lorna shook her head, “That’s not what I’m asking, Ali. I know that he’s a crazy person. I want to know if I’m screwing up again. In advance this so that I can stop further pain and anguish.”
Tightening her lips for a moment, Alison got off the bed, sitting on the floor and leaning back on it while tugging Lorna closer gently, so that they were sitting side by side. "Crazy because he's willing to try and take a shot at winning you even if you told him it was impossible?" It seemed important, that point. Even if what Lorna was hinting at was subtle. In some ways.
Lorna bumped shoulders with Ali deliberately, “Yes, crazy because he’s attempting the impossible but you still haven’t answered my question.”
A faint snort answered that, Alison bumping back. "He'd be crazy not to try, silly. He's a smart man, if you ask me." She grinned a bit, shaking her head. "You were as upfront with him as humanly possible. He knows how things are and is an adult." A pause, far more deliberate this time. "Takes two to screw up things like this, Lorna. It wasn't all your fault." The first time since she'd said this so bluntly.
Lorna bowed her head for a moment. She knew Ali would say that it wasn’t all her fault but hearing it was different than just knowing. It meant more than she’d realized it would. “You haven’t said whether or not you think I’m being an idiot. If I call Brent, am I failing Alex? We said we’d take time. Do I have the right to be doing this?”
"You're not hopping into bed with him for a wild night of monkey sex, Lorna. You're asking him to be your escort to a party. You've told him exactly how things are." She tugged at Lorna's sleeve idly, before going on. "What exactly did you and Alex decide?" If that's what really what it had been.
“We just…I said I needed time to get my head together and he agreed. Then he said he hoped I’d find someone who deserved me.” Lorna shook her head, “Though, apparently, I wasn’t supposed to actually do so. He accused me of just wanting to see if the grass was greener on the other side.” The injustice of it still made her mad, even though she wondered if it wasn’t just a little bit true. She would so easily doubt, and so reluctantly forgive, herself
Right. Lorna had given him all the chances he needed and the fact that he agreed with it had done a fair amount of damage there obviously. But it hadn't been really what he wanted, if he was acting like a jealous idiot. Gah. They were both idiots. With a small sigh, Alison slung an arm around Lorna's shoulders. "Sounds to me like neither of you really want to do this separation thing. Don't see why he'd act like that if he didn't want to be with you.”
“Of course I don’t want to be apart from him. He’s…my one thing. I can live without everything else if I have him.” Lorna winced as she said it, knowing it was exactly the kind of statement that she was supposed to be wary of. Samson wouldn’t be pleased. “So you think I’m an idiot?”
"You two have never fought before." Alison was talking more to herself than anything else. "Just because you have doesn't mean it's broken and nothing will ever be good again. At the same time - it may not be bad for you to get some time for yourself." Her voice softened as she spoke. "Doesn't mean there's no chance for the two of you, though."
WIth a sigh Alison shifted a bit, concentrating on Lorna's question. "I'm not going to answer that, Lorna. For a simple reason - my opinion can't dictate what you do with this. All I can say is you can do whatever, and I'll still be your friend."
“I’m going to be very good and not punch you.” Lorna sighed and shifted the phone to the floor so she could bring her knees up and rest her chin on them. “I’m asking you to be honest with me and you’re acting like it’s what’s going to make my decision. It’s not, Ali. I really do have my own brain. I want to know what you think because I trust you to tell me the truth.”
"I appreciate the not punching," Alison sighed tiredly, clambering up on the bed and hiding the sudden prickling of tears at her eyes at the same time as well as the wave of tiredness that swept over her. She rested on her back, looking up at the ceiling. "Couples counseling was invented for a reason. You're both taking it to extremes because you've never fought before and you don't have the tools to handle it. You're scared to death he doesn't want you so you're giving him every chance to stay away. He's probably assuming you want out because you keep doing that, so he's trying to do what he thinks you want. There."
Lorna thought about that, trying to place it on a scale of idiocy. She finally decided Alison was rating her quite high and nodded. She rested her hand on the phone then followed Alison up onto the bed, sitting next to her and looking down at her with a serious expression, “Brent was a mistake, wasn’t he? Going on a date with him was stupid and going to the museum would be insane. Betsy said I need to be fighting for Alex and I’m just giving up.” Lorna hadn't actually mentioned her talk, fight, whatever with Betsy before.
"You want to know what I'd do just now? Things being as they were? I'd go with Brent. Because he sounds like a damn good person to have as a friend, regardless of anything else. I'd also just make it clear that it was the only thing I wanted from him, and why. If you intend to work on mending things with Alex, that is. Which you should let him know first thing, if so." Hrm. The weak moment had passed and Alison was considering dropping an anvil on Alex's head if he was going to be stupid about this too. Not that he hadn't been already, mind.
Lorna made a face, “That should be a blast of a conversation. ‘Gee, Brent, I know I asked you out and all but I’m really just interested in being friends while I chase my ex some more.’ Guys love that speech.”
A shrug was the only answer. "Don't underestimate him. And what have you got to lose? Compared to what you stand to gain? And being dead honest with him is the best way to go anyway." Alison sighed a bit, closing her eyes. "Your call. You asked me my opinion, that's it really."
“No, no. You’re right. I can’t let him go on thinking that I’m going to ever be more than just a friend.” Lorna took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Right. Yes. I’m resolved now. See the resolve?”
Looking up at her, Alison gave her a small, wry grin. "Yeap. You wanna call from here now and hang on to me at the same time?" She offered one hand generously, even though the phone was still on the ground - clearly Lorna meant to make the call soon. "No time like now."
“I think there is a special hell for people who break up over the phone.” Lorna leaned forward and scooped the phone up anyway. She grabbed Alison’s hand and dialled with the other hand. “If I start to hyperventilate, like, pinch me or something, okay?”
She wasn't breaking up with Brent, Alison thought serenely. They weren't even dating, not really. "Sure, I can pinch you." And hey, if worse came to worse, she could always just make faces at her or something.
Lorna frowned as the ringing stopped, “Hi, Brent. It’s Lorna. No, I’m fine but…can we talk?” Her hand tightened on Alison’s. “Yeah, I think that would be good. Here?” Lorna gave Alison a wide-eyed, panicked look. “He wants to come here!” she mouthed.
"You know how that goes," Alison murmured, just low enough to that Brent would not overhear her. She gave Lorna's hand a reassuring squeeze, nodding at her encouragingly.
Lorna nodded then shook her head, giving Alison a Not Helping! look. “Yeah, here is okay. Um, maybe tomorrow?” She bit her lip. “Now isn’t good. Right. Um, I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.”
Everyone was a critic. Still, the look of anxiety on Lorna's face neatly wiped out any amusement Alison may have felt and instead she just waited until her room mate set the phone down on the cradle.
Lorna’s shoulders slumped and she folded over to bury her face in the comforter next to Alison. “Mm Mmmfmph mn mnmm!” she said emphatically into the mattress.
"Yes dear," Alison said, patting her on the shoulder lightly while nodding gravely. She picked up a pillow and after a moment's consideration offered it to her. "Want to have a scream?"
“Mmbbbm, mphm mmn” Lorna responded then sat up, her face red. “I’m just going to kill myself now. That way I won’t have to figure out how the hell I’m going to keep Brent and Alex at opposite ends of the mansion without actually telling either of them.”
Alison smiled serenely. "Can't kill yourself. I have right of veto. Sorry." More patting on shoulder followed. "Why keep them separated? Brent I'm sure wouldn't mind telling Alex you're one in a million," and he's a moron for letting go so easy, "and Alex did agree to separation time. If he wants to be jealous about it, then maybe he needs to re-evaluate the whole separation time thing. You're not the only one who gets to fight for someone in this."
“It’s the fighting part that worries me,” Lorna muttered. “Well, I have until tomorrow right? I’ll just smuggle him in and back out with no one the wiser.”
"Alex knows better. He'd better know better," she added in a mutter, frowning a bit. "And you don't have a thing to hide if you ask me. You're allowed to have friends who aren't mansion bound."
Lorna dropped her jaw in mock-shock, “Alison, what a shocking thing to suggest. Do you mean to say that this place isn’t the be all and end all of existence? Blasphemy, heresy, sacrilege!” She pretended to faint then rolled her shoulders in a fatalistic shrug. “I still think it’s a better idea if they don’t run into each other. For my sanity’s sake.”
A snort greeted that comment and Alison gave her a flat look. "Who do you hang out with that doesn't live here? Mmm? Right." She leaned back on the bed and thought over what might happen if they met. "Well. I'm thinking you'll want to talk to him alone so me being there is irrelevant. Which part of the mansion does Alex usually avoid? Go there. S'all."
“These days? Any place I’m likely to be. Maybe I should just post that I’m going to spend all of tomorrow in one place and he’ll avoid it like the plague.” She said it lightly and somewhat scornfully but she couldn’t quite hide how much it hurt.
"Or you could just email him in advance to let him know so that he isn't surprised and stays away on his own if that's what he'd rather do..." Alison sighed a bit, feeling more than a little sympathy for Lorna, regardless of how silly she thought the situation was when you really got down to it.
“You have a great deal of faith in my courage, expecting me to email my ex and deal with my rebound at the same time.” Lorna shook her head. “I’ll take my chances. It’s a big house, what are the odds?”
Alison just stared at her for a moment, suddenly convinced that Alex was indeed going to somehow manage to walk in the room at the worst possible moment and draw all the wrong conclusion. "oooh boy."
It took Lorna several seconds to realize what she’d said then she paled and buried her face in the mattress again, “Mm mnnm mmfphhf mnnph.”
Alison just shook her head before reaching out (again) to pat her shoulder (again). "Yep. You did." Because really, the mumbling needed no translation at all.