Manuel, Amanda - Sunday evening
Sep. 26th, 2004 09:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsFollowing patching things up with Bethany and some theraputic violence with Angelo, Amanda and Manuel finally talk about the events of the day, setting out some groundrules and airing some grievances. For once Amanda stands up for herself. Well, mostly.
Manuel decided to hunt Amanda down after her day spent with Bethany. He knew she wasn't much in the mood for visitors for most of the day, but after her rather emotionally intense day with Beth, and then some very determined time spent doing something else, Manuel felt that he'd waited for long enough. So there he was outside of her door, knocking on it firmly.
Amanda was just coming out of the shower - after sparring with Angelo, she'd needed it. Wrapped in a towel, with her hair still damp and tousled, she grinned as she heard the knock, knowing immediately who it was. "Come in, Manny," she called, opening her closet and looking for something to wear.
Manuel opened the door, walked in and settled himself at her desk chair. "So how did your day go?" he asked, refusing to allow himself to be distracted by the sight of the towel-wrapped wytch in search of things to wear. As arousing as it was, he couldn't afford to get distracted. "I thought I saw Bethany earlier. Here in the Mansion."
"Pete kidnapped her - we'd already arranged it during the week, since I was going balmy being cooped up here." Amanda's reply was muffled by the t-shirt she was pulling on over her head, the towel dropping to the floor in the process. When her head was clear, she looked at Manuel. "There's probably some stuff we should talk about."
"That's entirely possible." he said, nodding in agreement. "So what conclusions did you come to?"
Pulling on a pair of jeans, Amanda came over and sat on her bed. "You were right - she does love me," she said steadily. "And you probably know how I feel 'bout her."
Manuel managed to only look slightly offended. "Of course I was right. And you love her. It's plain to see. So where does that leave us? I don't much like the idea of competing with _her_, nor should I have to. I was prepared to let it all lie until she insulted my honor to my face. Abusive, pah!" he sneered.
"What did you expect when you go 'round usin' yer powers t' make people do what you want?" Amanda shot back. "An' there ain't gunna be any competin'. She knows I love you, an' doesn't expect me t' give you up, same as you know 'bout her. We can work this - but I need t' know if yer sense of honour's gunna be a problem."
"I would be satisfied with an apology - it's obvious that her opinion is fairly insignificant outside of her influence over you." he mused. "Yes, that will be all that I require. A veritable slap on the wrist."
"An' if she won't? You scared the fuck out of her, Manny, throwin' yer powers 'round like that, not t' mention she thinks yer an arsehole." It was hard to keep a rein on her temper, but she was managing, barely. "For all that she's 'poverty-stricken', she has her pride too. So what I need t' know is, is this gunna be like Ange if she don't apologise?"
"I don't _care_ what she thinks about me. Her opinion matters _not_." he said grumpily. "And what is that supposed to mean? I've already _told you_ - I am NOT going to get in the way of you seeing her. What more do you want from me? If you want me to like her, then the answer is no. I can't stand her. She's preachy, judgemental, and she knows _NOTHING_ about me!"
"An' you were arrogant, judgemental, an' know nothin' 'bout her," Amanda pointed out. Then she sighed and rubbed her forehead. "This is givin' me a headache," she complained to herself. "Look, you don't have t' like her, an' I wanted t' make sure you were still all right with things stayin' the way they are, once you found out there was more than friend-feelin's there. If yer fine, then there's no problem, but I'd rather avoid another mess like last time."
"I gave her _every_ chance! I complimented her dress, her dancing, I took an interest in what she wanted to discuss! She told me she preferred direct speaking and honesty, and then she turns around and slings arrows when she can't handle it?" he seethed. Clearly, this had been building all day long. "But, to answer your question - I am fine with things staying the way they are. Just – do not ask me to like her. I find it beyond me right now. Perhaps, in time, that will change."
"An' since when have I ever asked you t' do the impossible, love?" Amanda asked with a faint smile. "You don't have t' be friends -there's limits, I know that. As long as you don't mind sharin' me with her." She slumped slightly as the tension began easing from her. "Seems the weekend for serious talks," she said wryly. "Even spoke t' Lee yesterday."
Manuel blinked. "Did you, now?" he said, far too neutrally. "Considering you're still here and in one piece, and I'm not brushing your remains out of the carpet, I take it it went well?" he said. "And as far as Bethany goes, I'm fairly certain that I have no idea what you see in her, outside of a fairly accessible piece of ass." he said with a dismissive wave. “Explain it to me?"
Amanda felt a stab of irritation, and didn't bother to hide it. "Y'know, I never ask you what you see in Lee," she retorted. "Don't have to, do I? She's just a piece of arse, same as everyone else. Same as I was up to six months ago. Well, lucky for you, you get t' keep yer fuckbuddy - I told her last night I didn't care what you two got up to."
"And you get to keep yours. We both win." Manuel said with a put-upon sigh. Women. "I was trying to empathize, to understand where you're coming from. If you don't feel like telling me, then just _say so_."
"'S just... argh. Yer such a rude git sometimes, Manny. If you wanted t' know, you just had t' ask, without puttin' forward yer opinions on the matter." The look Amanda gave him was half-exasperated, half-affectionate. "All that stuff I don't get 'bout you, the rich family, the power games, the dressin' up, even... All that stuff 'bout me that drives you mental... Beth doesn't are 'bout that. I don't have t' worry 'bout embarrassin' her, or her makin' me feel like some uneducated tart. 'S just us, an' sometimes I need that, need the chance t' relax. She'll never understand all the shite in me life, so I keep that from her, much as I can, an' just try an' be normal. It's...good." There was a brief, wicked grin. "That an' the fact she doesn't have a dick."
"Funny, I thought you rather liked my dick." Manuel said with some amusement. "And believe it or not, I can understand where it is that you are coming from. Be thankful that you have someone you can share that part of yourself with. I try to give all of that up for you, but it's hard sometimes." he said in a rare moment of total unguarded honesty. "I don't have anyone I can share those sorts of things with. And you ... hah! You have no interest and no will to rise up. So I drop down, and occasionally it's fucking _hard_."
"I like both. You know that." Amanda sighed. "I know, Manny, I know what yer've done for me, an' I'm tryin', y'know? That whole thing in the music room, that was me tryin'. An' it's not that I ain't got the will t' try an' be better, 's just I'm comin' from so fuckin' far behind. 'M just startin' t' get t' 'normal' - 's gunna take a while before I get t' yer high standards," she explained. "An' I never asked for you t' drag yerself down t' my level. 'S part of who you are, an' I wouldn't ever ask you t' change. Just... 'm tryin', okay?"
"And I do appreciate it, believe me? I was happier then than I've been in quite some time." Manuel said, and then sighed. "I'm not expressing myself well here. If I don't drop down to where you are, then I have _nothing_. You are all that I have." he pleaded.
"I'm not goin' anywhere," Amanda said decisively. "I told you, as long as you want me, you have me. It's just... sometimes it feels like that ain't always gunna be the case. If you feel you have t' give up too much of yerself t' be with me... are you still gunna want me? I'm nowhere near yer level, Manny, an' I know that."
"I knew you weren't my class coming in. That was obvious the first time I ever set eyes on you. Most of the time, it doesn't matter. But you mentioned class first. If you're going to have to work so hard to be worthy of claw your way up to my level, how can I be sure that you won't just give up, go back to your human girl who is just like you are?"
"Because I love you, you plonker," Amanda said with exasperation. "An' that ain't about things bein' easier, or yer class or mine, or even 'bout Beth. You _understand_, Manny. You know me better 'n anyone, an' you still see somethin' good there. You still love me, even when I nearly got you bloody killed by goin' t' Rack. An' that counts for somethin'."
Manuel nodded. "Yeah, I do. And you understand me. I... had some fear. I'm not too big to admit that. It's good to admit fear, to talk it out." he said, not really looking at Amanda anymore. "She is closer to you than I can ever be. Even if I did throw it all away, piss on everything I was raised to believe was important, it still wouldn't be enough." he said miserably. "I've already betrayed it a dozen times over. A few more times cannot hurt. You're worth it. But I have to hang onto _something_. Otherwise, who am I?"
"You don't have t' throw it all away - I'm not askin' you to, remember? D'you really think I'd make you give up everythin'?" Reaching out with her telekinetic spell, Amanda pulled her desk chair - and Manuel, still sitting on it - towards her, so she could lay her hands on his knees. "It ain't about either of us givin' up what we are, 's about us findin' some middle ground, somewhere where we're both comfortable. An' if that means dressin' up an' goin' t' the opera or whatnot, then that's what I'll do. I'll even try t' learn t' like it." She gave him a slight grin. "Promise."
Manuel shrugged. "It's not that simple. I'm trying, and you're trying. Sometimes, we stumble and fall. But we pick up and keep moving. I learn to deal with the common people, and you get to learn to deal with civilization at its finest." he said with a shaky grin.
"An' in the in between times we find somethin' we both like doin'," Amanda said, glad to see that grin. She pulled him forward a little closer, so she could lean forward and kiss him. "I ain't goin' anywhere, not unless you ask me to," she repeated.
Manuel returned the kiss. "At the same time, I so need to find someone I can do civilized things with when I want. You can go hang with Bethany just about any time you want to, and spend time with her doing common-people things. I don't have anyone like that - Shinobi's still fairly angry with me, as far as I can tell. I have not scanned him to determine it for myself."
"Angry at you? Why... oh." Amanda squirmed a little guiltily. "He blames you for what I did t' Lee, don't he?"
"You could say that." he said dryly. "The whole situation was badly-handled. It's so depressing. I don't use my power, and all of a sudden I have the persuasive power of a maladjusted child!" he said sulkily. "It's humbling and it's galling."
"The whole thing was a great bloody cock-up," Amanda agreed. "I dunno what t' say, 'cept maybe you should try talkin' t' him, see if he is still pissed off at you, at least. As for other people t' talk to... That new teacher, Paul, seems like that sort. An' there's always Monet or even Shiro - you two both have that whole family honor thing." She shrugged. "'S a bit out of my range, 'm afraid."
Manuel sighed. "Given where my persuasive skills are, I'd probably be reduced to a pile of radioactive slag by Shiro - and I don't feel comfortable talking to him. I could have stopped him, and I didn't. And Monet - god, without using my power I have nothing on her. And I am still angry with her for how she treated me when I thought you were dead. Paul - he's very cute, but he's an instructor. Which means he knows all about me, and the things that I have done. Maybe, but I doubt it. I'll email him anyway."
"Paul don't seem the sort t' judge someone on their file," Amanda said, spreading her hands helplessly. "I wish I could help, love, but, I just don't know how."
Manuel shrugged. "I don't know either. But I need to figure something out before the resentment builds to the point where I really do something stupid." he said with a sigh. "I don't actually enjoy this, you know. The need for serious talks, the stress and tension, the constant striving to suppress one part to emphasize another. You have a safety valve. I don't. I'll muddle it through somehow."
"I don't like it either, but it's better we know where we stand before things get out of hand again, ain't it?" Looking up at him, Amanda thought for a minute. "'S not the same, I know, but once me time's up, how 'bout we go do somethin'? No serious talks, no life or death... just you an' me havin' fun. You pick somethin' t' do, an' I'll pick somethin'. I've got me wages an' the account Dom set up for me for emergencies. Think this is gettin' t' be one."
"It isn't the same, but it's a start. I like doing things with you. You know, New York City has a good bit of culture in it. Maybe we can look nice, go hit the Guggenheim? You like art, do you not?"
She nodded. "Sounds good t' me. You'll have t' take me shoppin' first tho'," she added with a grin that said she wasn't entirely opposed to the idea. "An' I've got some ideas for somethin' music-related. I'll have t' check some sites, see what's on. No punk, I promise."
Manuel mock-rolled his eyes. "Oh, the horror. The inhumanity of it all. I'll have to go shopping. WIth you." he taunted. "And what did you have in mind?"
"I saw somethin' on the the telly, 'bout the New York Symphony doin' some concerts. Not just classical – some versions of modern music as well. Thought we both might like it," Amanda offered. "If not, I can find somethin' else."
Manuel grinned. "I'll leave it up to your judgement." he said.
Manuel decided to hunt Amanda down after her day spent with Bethany. He knew she wasn't much in the mood for visitors for most of the day, but after her rather emotionally intense day with Beth, and then some very determined time spent doing something else, Manuel felt that he'd waited for long enough. So there he was outside of her door, knocking on it firmly.
Amanda was just coming out of the shower - after sparring with Angelo, she'd needed it. Wrapped in a towel, with her hair still damp and tousled, she grinned as she heard the knock, knowing immediately who it was. "Come in, Manny," she called, opening her closet and looking for something to wear.
Manuel opened the door, walked in and settled himself at her desk chair. "So how did your day go?" he asked, refusing to allow himself to be distracted by the sight of the towel-wrapped wytch in search of things to wear. As arousing as it was, he couldn't afford to get distracted. "I thought I saw Bethany earlier. Here in the Mansion."
"Pete kidnapped her - we'd already arranged it during the week, since I was going balmy being cooped up here." Amanda's reply was muffled by the t-shirt she was pulling on over her head, the towel dropping to the floor in the process. When her head was clear, she looked at Manuel. "There's probably some stuff we should talk about."
"That's entirely possible." he said, nodding in agreement. "So what conclusions did you come to?"
Pulling on a pair of jeans, Amanda came over and sat on her bed. "You were right - she does love me," she said steadily. "And you probably know how I feel 'bout her."
Manuel managed to only look slightly offended. "Of course I was right. And you love her. It's plain to see. So where does that leave us? I don't much like the idea of competing with _her_, nor should I have to. I was prepared to let it all lie until she insulted my honor to my face. Abusive, pah!" he sneered.
"What did you expect when you go 'round usin' yer powers t' make people do what you want?" Amanda shot back. "An' there ain't gunna be any competin'. She knows I love you, an' doesn't expect me t' give you up, same as you know 'bout her. We can work this - but I need t' know if yer sense of honour's gunna be a problem."
"I would be satisfied with an apology - it's obvious that her opinion is fairly insignificant outside of her influence over you." he mused. "Yes, that will be all that I require. A veritable slap on the wrist."
"An' if she won't? You scared the fuck out of her, Manny, throwin' yer powers 'round like that, not t' mention she thinks yer an arsehole." It was hard to keep a rein on her temper, but she was managing, barely. "For all that she's 'poverty-stricken', she has her pride too. So what I need t' know is, is this gunna be like Ange if she don't apologise?"
"I don't _care_ what she thinks about me. Her opinion matters _not_." he said grumpily. "And what is that supposed to mean? I've already _told you_ - I am NOT going to get in the way of you seeing her. What more do you want from me? If you want me to like her, then the answer is no. I can't stand her. She's preachy, judgemental, and she knows _NOTHING_ about me!"
"An' you were arrogant, judgemental, an' know nothin' 'bout her," Amanda pointed out. Then she sighed and rubbed her forehead. "This is givin' me a headache," she complained to herself. "Look, you don't have t' like her, an' I wanted t' make sure you were still all right with things stayin' the way they are, once you found out there was more than friend-feelin's there. If yer fine, then there's no problem, but I'd rather avoid another mess like last time."
"I gave her _every_ chance! I complimented her dress, her dancing, I took an interest in what she wanted to discuss! She told me she preferred direct speaking and honesty, and then she turns around and slings arrows when she can't handle it?" he seethed. Clearly, this had been building all day long. "But, to answer your question - I am fine with things staying the way they are. Just – do not ask me to like her. I find it beyond me right now. Perhaps, in time, that will change."
"An' since when have I ever asked you t' do the impossible, love?" Amanda asked with a faint smile. "You don't have t' be friends -there's limits, I know that. As long as you don't mind sharin' me with her." She slumped slightly as the tension began easing from her. "Seems the weekend for serious talks," she said wryly. "Even spoke t' Lee yesterday."
Manuel blinked. "Did you, now?" he said, far too neutrally. "Considering you're still here and in one piece, and I'm not brushing your remains out of the carpet, I take it it went well?" he said. "And as far as Bethany goes, I'm fairly certain that I have no idea what you see in her, outside of a fairly accessible piece of ass." he said with a dismissive wave. “Explain it to me?"
Amanda felt a stab of irritation, and didn't bother to hide it. "Y'know, I never ask you what you see in Lee," she retorted. "Don't have to, do I? She's just a piece of arse, same as everyone else. Same as I was up to six months ago. Well, lucky for you, you get t' keep yer fuckbuddy - I told her last night I didn't care what you two got up to."
"And you get to keep yours. We both win." Manuel said with a put-upon sigh. Women. "I was trying to empathize, to understand where you're coming from. If you don't feel like telling me, then just _say so_."
"'S just... argh. Yer such a rude git sometimes, Manny. If you wanted t' know, you just had t' ask, without puttin' forward yer opinions on the matter." The look Amanda gave him was half-exasperated, half-affectionate. "All that stuff I don't get 'bout you, the rich family, the power games, the dressin' up, even... All that stuff 'bout me that drives you mental... Beth doesn't are 'bout that. I don't have t' worry 'bout embarrassin' her, or her makin' me feel like some uneducated tart. 'S just us, an' sometimes I need that, need the chance t' relax. She'll never understand all the shite in me life, so I keep that from her, much as I can, an' just try an' be normal. It's...good." There was a brief, wicked grin. "That an' the fact she doesn't have a dick."
"Funny, I thought you rather liked my dick." Manuel said with some amusement. "And believe it or not, I can understand where it is that you are coming from. Be thankful that you have someone you can share that part of yourself with. I try to give all of that up for you, but it's hard sometimes." he said in a rare moment of total unguarded honesty. "I don't have anyone I can share those sorts of things with. And you ... hah! You have no interest and no will to rise up. So I drop down, and occasionally it's fucking _hard_."
"I like both. You know that." Amanda sighed. "I know, Manny, I know what yer've done for me, an' I'm tryin', y'know? That whole thing in the music room, that was me tryin'. An' it's not that I ain't got the will t' try an' be better, 's just I'm comin' from so fuckin' far behind. 'M just startin' t' get t' 'normal' - 's gunna take a while before I get t' yer high standards," she explained. "An' I never asked for you t' drag yerself down t' my level. 'S part of who you are, an' I wouldn't ever ask you t' change. Just... 'm tryin', okay?"
"And I do appreciate it, believe me? I was happier then than I've been in quite some time." Manuel said, and then sighed. "I'm not expressing myself well here. If I don't drop down to where you are, then I have _nothing_. You are all that I have." he pleaded.
"I'm not goin' anywhere," Amanda said decisively. "I told you, as long as you want me, you have me. It's just... sometimes it feels like that ain't always gunna be the case. If you feel you have t' give up too much of yerself t' be with me... are you still gunna want me? I'm nowhere near yer level, Manny, an' I know that."
"I knew you weren't my class coming in. That was obvious the first time I ever set eyes on you. Most of the time, it doesn't matter. But you mentioned class first. If you're going to have to work so hard to be worthy of claw your way up to my level, how can I be sure that you won't just give up, go back to your human girl who is just like you are?"
"Because I love you, you plonker," Amanda said with exasperation. "An' that ain't about things bein' easier, or yer class or mine, or even 'bout Beth. You _understand_, Manny. You know me better 'n anyone, an' you still see somethin' good there. You still love me, even when I nearly got you bloody killed by goin' t' Rack. An' that counts for somethin'."
Manuel nodded. "Yeah, I do. And you understand me. I... had some fear. I'm not too big to admit that. It's good to admit fear, to talk it out." he said, not really looking at Amanda anymore. "She is closer to you than I can ever be. Even if I did throw it all away, piss on everything I was raised to believe was important, it still wouldn't be enough." he said miserably. "I've already betrayed it a dozen times over. A few more times cannot hurt. You're worth it. But I have to hang onto _something_. Otherwise, who am I?"
"You don't have t' throw it all away - I'm not askin' you to, remember? D'you really think I'd make you give up everythin'?" Reaching out with her telekinetic spell, Amanda pulled her desk chair - and Manuel, still sitting on it - towards her, so she could lay her hands on his knees. "It ain't about either of us givin' up what we are, 's about us findin' some middle ground, somewhere where we're both comfortable. An' if that means dressin' up an' goin' t' the opera or whatnot, then that's what I'll do. I'll even try t' learn t' like it." She gave him a slight grin. "Promise."
Manuel shrugged. "It's not that simple. I'm trying, and you're trying. Sometimes, we stumble and fall. But we pick up and keep moving. I learn to deal with the common people, and you get to learn to deal with civilization at its finest." he said with a shaky grin.
"An' in the in between times we find somethin' we both like doin'," Amanda said, glad to see that grin. She pulled him forward a little closer, so she could lean forward and kiss him. "I ain't goin' anywhere, not unless you ask me to," she repeated.
Manuel returned the kiss. "At the same time, I so need to find someone I can do civilized things with when I want. You can go hang with Bethany just about any time you want to, and spend time with her doing common-people things. I don't have anyone like that - Shinobi's still fairly angry with me, as far as I can tell. I have not scanned him to determine it for myself."
"Angry at you? Why... oh." Amanda squirmed a little guiltily. "He blames you for what I did t' Lee, don't he?"
"You could say that." he said dryly. "The whole situation was badly-handled. It's so depressing. I don't use my power, and all of a sudden I have the persuasive power of a maladjusted child!" he said sulkily. "It's humbling and it's galling."
"The whole thing was a great bloody cock-up," Amanda agreed. "I dunno what t' say, 'cept maybe you should try talkin' t' him, see if he is still pissed off at you, at least. As for other people t' talk to... That new teacher, Paul, seems like that sort. An' there's always Monet or even Shiro - you two both have that whole family honor thing." She shrugged. "'S a bit out of my range, 'm afraid."
Manuel sighed. "Given where my persuasive skills are, I'd probably be reduced to a pile of radioactive slag by Shiro - and I don't feel comfortable talking to him. I could have stopped him, and I didn't. And Monet - god, without using my power I have nothing on her. And I am still angry with her for how she treated me when I thought you were dead. Paul - he's very cute, but he's an instructor. Which means he knows all about me, and the things that I have done. Maybe, but I doubt it. I'll email him anyway."
"Paul don't seem the sort t' judge someone on their file," Amanda said, spreading her hands helplessly. "I wish I could help, love, but, I just don't know how."
Manuel shrugged. "I don't know either. But I need to figure something out before the resentment builds to the point where I really do something stupid." he said with a sigh. "I don't actually enjoy this, you know. The need for serious talks, the stress and tension, the constant striving to suppress one part to emphasize another. You have a safety valve. I don't. I'll muddle it through somehow."
"I don't like it either, but it's better we know where we stand before things get out of hand again, ain't it?" Looking up at him, Amanda thought for a minute. "'S not the same, I know, but once me time's up, how 'bout we go do somethin'? No serious talks, no life or death... just you an' me havin' fun. You pick somethin' t' do, an' I'll pick somethin'. I've got me wages an' the account Dom set up for me for emergencies. Think this is gettin' t' be one."
"It isn't the same, but it's a start. I like doing things with you. You know, New York City has a good bit of culture in it. Maybe we can look nice, go hit the Guggenheim? You like art, do you not?"
She nodded. "Sounds good t' me. You'll have t' take me shoppin' first tho'," she added with a grin that said she wasn't entirely opposed to the idea. "An' I've got some ideas for somethin' music-related. I'll have t' check some sites, see what's on. No punk, I promise."
Manuel mock-rolled his eyes. "Oh, the horror. The inhumanity of it all. I'll have to go shopping. WIth you." he taunted. "And what did you have in mind?"
"I saw somethin' on the the telly, 'bout the New York Symphony doin' some concerts. Not just classical – some versions of modern music as well. Thought we both might like it," Amanda offered. "If not, I can find somethin' else."
Manuel grinned. "I'll leave it up to your judgement." he said.
