Scott and Alison, Monday afternoon

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

Alison tracks Scott down in the Danger Room to ask him a question. The conversation winds up touching on sparring partners, motivation issues, and goatees. Then she pulls him away to have ice cream with Miles.



It was a standard exercise. Shifting obstacle course, with drones. Scott leapt over the floor as it gaped open, then fired an optic blast at the drone that came in from overhead, neatly bisected it. A wall sprung up in front of him, and he hurled it when it was at waist level, coming down in a crouch on the other side and blasting another drone at barely a foot's distance from his head.

The safeties to the room blipped off, Alison sticking her head inside and peering at Scott for a moment as he ran through the exercise. She looked at the time left and tapped her foot. That was going to take way too long. Ten whole minutes. She didn't really want to wait that long. She'd already been looking for him for five. That she'd headed for the Danger Room first was just a details.

Stepping inside she re-engaged the safeties, the codes to which Charles had handed her a few weeks ago with one of his serene smiles and no explanation, and headed towards the center of the room, absently lasering through a drone which had ill-advisedly altered it's course towards her with obviously unpleasant intentions (or programming. Who cared?)

"Alison," Scott said sternly, blasting another drone and rolling under a wall that came down from the ceiling. "Does this look like an emergency?"

"I need to talk to you," she said, still frowning and not really paying attention to the exercise itself. A droid tried to grab her and she flipped it over, spearing it with another laser dead center in the chest. "God, those thing are annoying sometimes." A pause. "I'm sorry. Would you rather I go?" She stepped to one side, giving him a clear shot at another drone.

"Freeze scenario," Scott ordered the computer, then got up. He took all his restlessness and fatigue and balled it up, shoving it safely away and focusing on Alison. "What's wrong?" he asked, coming over to her.

"Do I suck as an X-Man?" she asked in all seriousness, not really having slept a wink since the previous night. "I swear this isn't a diva moment or a 'me me me' thing or any of that, really. I just... need to know?" She sighed and kicked at a bit of drone, which skittered across the room. "I sound like a five year old. Gah."

Scott tried not to gape. "What brought this on?" he asked concernedly, then stopped, shaking his head. "Wait. Before we get into that. No, you don't."

He was looking at her funny. She resisted the urge to hide her face with her hands and chewed on her lower lip for a moment. "Really? Dead honest and all? Not just saying that to make me feel better?" Oh god. She sounded pathetic.

"Alison," Scott said, more softly. "I don't dish out platitudes. I hope you know that."

She was being stupid about this. Yep. "I'm sorry," she answered almost inaudibly, looking down at her feet once more. This time she didn't kick anything, nor did she give in to the urge to squirm like a five year old might. "And I just interrupted your training session too. Erm. Sorry?"

"Hey." He reached out, tentatively laying a hand on her shoulder. "What brought this on?" He wasn't surprised she was having some confidence issues - everyone and their uncle seemed to have them these days - but for it to be serious enough to bring her to him like this?

"My sparring is off. It has been for a while now." She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Doesn't show up with you because well... I don't know. I can spar with you. And with some of the others." She raised her hands, palms up, not sure how to explain. "But with Haroun, yesterday? I sucked. Big time." Well, there was that one neat move, but it didn't count, over all.

"Sparring is different from actual combat," Scott said after a moment, not taking his hand off her shoulder. "It's something we do to prepare ourselves for actual combat, yes, but we can't duplicate everything." He shrugged a little, finally removing his hand. "Problems you have there might not be reflected in the field. Or they might." A faint smile tugged at his lips. "It's kind of a toss-up."

She stared at him for a moment and resisted the wild urge to beat her forehead on his chest. "...a toss-up." She supposed tossing him over her shoulder would be uncalled for. Maybe. Just a bit. "I'll keep that in mind," she said firmly and told herself that kicking him in the shin wasn't happening either. He really was trying to help. And he had said she didn't suck. So. "You look beat. And you actually have stubble. I'm in shock. But it looks good. You should try growing a pinch. Those look good. Are you still not sleeping?"

Scott stared right back at her for a long, long moment. "You're weird," he finally said, abruptly, and then blinked, shocked at himself.

She blinked at his words then looked down. And covered her face with her hands, shoulders starting to shake steadily, although not a sound escaped her.

"Okay," Scott said, with a certain strained humor. "I'm hoping that's laughter... Ali?"

As soon as he spoke her name she looked up, eyes dancing with mirth, laughter finally breaking free. One hand coming to rest on his chest to brace herself she nodded, still laughing helplessly. "Pinch!" she gasped when she managed to take a breath. "Look on your face!"

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked rather planitively. "And what's a pinch? I'm lost..." She was still snickering at him. "You're making fun of the sleep-deprived man," he accused her lightly. "No fair."

"I didn't sleep either," she informed him between giggles, leaning on him more heavily now. "Even footing." More laughter. "Meant a goatee." She shook her head, eyes bright from all the laughing. "Really, it'd look great on you."

"Yeah, well, I haven't been sleeping properly since June. Nyah," Scott said, half-jokingly, half-recklessly. "And I think I'll skip the goatee, thanks. Last thing I need to grow some weedy not-quite beard and look like I'm trying to look older. Time'll take care of that and all..."

Oh, was that it how it was? Alison grinned. And didn't bother going into her sleeping habits or lack thereof, or how it didn't seem to bother her at all until she crashed for two days in a row now and then. She was still sorting it out herself. And it didn't affect that much anyway. "Phooey. I think they make a man look devilishly handsome." She reached up and tugged at a lock of hair teasingly. "Mmm. That a grey hair I see?"

"I wouldn't know. Monochrome red vision and all." Scott sighed, reaching up and taking her hand, squeezing it tightly. "Ali... this isn't a training problem, you know. Yours, I mean. It's all in here." He raised his other hand, tapped lightly on her forehead. "You're still trying to figure out why you're fighting, how you want to do it."

I don't want to fight, she nearly blurted out, desperately needing to say it. And didn't, somehow keeping up the smile and not letting the terrible sense of being utterly out of place show through. "Okay." Damn. That hadn't sounded confident at all. Kinda lost too. Those old acting classes just weren't helping her anymore.

He saw the smile, but he saw the look in her eyes, too. "Alison... it's been a hard summer," Scott said slowly. "If you need some time off... to think. It might not be such a bad idea."

"Got nowhere to go," she smiled crookedly, shoulders slumping a bit. Scott knew. Both team leaders did, every single detail. She shook her head instead, refusing the offer. "I'll be okay." Her lips twitched and she gave him a calmer look, although also a rather rueful one. "Just don't mind me if I waltz in every now and then and go all weird on you?"

"You can go weird on me anytime you want, you know that," Scott said. "And you don't have to go somewhere to think, either. Why not take a breather? Teach your classes, be with Miles... let the team look after itself for a little while."

I can't. "Naw. I'd go stir-crazy if I had to drop the team stuff, just now." If I stop, I don't think I can start all over again. "Besides. The idea of stopping just because I tripped up really, really doesn't work for me. You know how I am about that." She had a competitive streak a mile wide and Scott had called her on that during her very first week of training, she remembered only too well. Still. There might be something to do with this. "I'll trade you though," she offered casually. "You take a week off soon, and in exchange you get to tell me when to take one off later on?"

"Now hold on," Scott protested, holding onto the light tone by an act of sheer will. "This isn't about me, Alison." And there was more going on here than she was letting on. But how was he supposed to counsel her on a crisis of confidence, whatever this was, when he was having one of his own? "If you want to address having tripped up, that's one thing. We can do that."

She nodded, trying to find some way to work herself out of this. She had really just wanted an answer to her question, not an in depth review. Or something. Like Scott being horribly understanding and listening to her rave and making this even harder than usual. It was awfully leader-ish of him. It was cheating, that's what it was. "I think I just need to spar with Haroun more until I sort out why it threw me so badly to spar with him in the first place. And why it doesn't with you, say." She had an idea at what it was - training some more with Haroun might settle that. "Probably the best way to help me figure out some of the other stuff too, about training and all."

"By jumping back into the deep end?" He smiled a bit wryly. "Not always. Have you tried sparring with others, besides him and me?"

Well, she used to spar with Sam a lot, but that hadn't happened in a while now. The thought of more training to keep her busy appealed immensely however. "Damn. I'm in a rut." She blinked in realization. "Ok. Jogged with Kylun last night. Could ask him. Though I think that'd be a case of styles meshing and me not freezing up at all. Kurt would be up for it." Another one she expected she would be able to spar properly with though. Damn. "Huh. I think I'll just put my name up on the random training list and see who shows up for one of those?"

Scott looked at her thoughtfully, thinking about the two she'd mentioned. "What if I suggested Nathan? Or Pete?" Throw a couple of different styles at her.

Very differing styles, she thought instantly. Closer to Haroun's style in Nathan's case and a wildcard on Pete's case though she expected he knew all the dirty tricks she did and a million more besides. "I can talk to them about it. Yeah." The nod was decisive and she grinned up at him a bit. "Thanks."

He was missing something here, Scott thought with an inward sigh. Not seeing something... again. Why the hell couldn't he be a telepath? Maybe he'd have to mention it to the Professor. Go running to Charles, again. Ah, well. Better to forget his pride and not miss this, whatever it was. "You should do that," he said, his smile a bit strained. "And if you're not going to take time off to do it, you still need to think, Alison. I'm getting the sense there's a lot you're still sorting out."

"There is," she said simply. Because it was Scott and pretending it was all okay with him just rankled at some level. Just like not telling him about Betsy did and she couldn't and would now think of something else, thank you very much. "I just don't know what it is yet." She took a deep breath and then let it go slowly. "Promise I'll tell you first soon as I figure it out?"

"I'd have to kick your ass if you didn't," Scott said wryly. He reached out and ruffled her hair, risking a swat. "Just... don't run in circles too much about it, okay? I'd hate to see you doing that to yourself."

"Oookay," she said slowly, swatting him as expected. Not that she even tried to fix the hair afterwards, ruffled was the look. "So. Does that mean I get to nag you about taking time off of your own now?" She asked it lightly but it meant something, that was clear to see.

"If you feel like you have to," Scott allowed with a small, tired smile. "I can't vouch for whether or not you would have any luck."

"Mm. I'll cheat then. Been ages since you and Miles went out for a no powers moment for you. Take him out for ice cream?" She grinned at him endearingly. "It's just for a few hours and all too. You could even finish your session here first?"

Scott looked back at the half-finished session and shrugged. "Computer, close and save scenario," he said, then turned back to Alison. "Like I'd say no, when it's Miles," he said quietly.

"I said I was cheating," she admitted softly, reaching out to tug at his hand. "C'mon. Ice cream is the best medicine in the universe. Even if just for a little while," she added, with a curious little smile.

"I've got marking to do for Mechanical Engineering," he told her as she drew him towards the door. "And then more scenarios to program. And files to review. I can't stay out too long."

"You said I needed to learn how to program more intensive scenarios a while ago," she pointed out calmly. "Mind if I take those off your hands? If it means Miles gets an extra hour with his favorite ice cream person, I'm game, y'know."

And the conspiracy continued. But he couldn't begrudge time spent with Miles. He could always make up for it tonight. A couple extra hours reviewing training tapes. "All right," he said, placidly.