Manuel and Amanda - Reassurances
Oct. 8th, 2004 09:50 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsWho: Manuel de la Rocha, Amanda Sefton
Where: Docks
When: Sunday, after she returns to the Mansion
What Happens: They reassure each other. Relationship fluff, pure and simple. And a new icon!
---
Manuel wandered the grounds absently, trying very hard to think of not much at all. He had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his slacks, and a thick sweater to keep him warm. He'd at least bothered to get cleaned up before he began wandering, but he'd been out there for hours, and his hair was highly touselled by the wind. He sat on the docks to the lake, letting his feet dangle over the water. His shoulders were hunched over, like he was trying to draw into himself and disappear.
Amanda felt a stab of guilt when she saw him. As soon as Strange had dropped her off, she'd gone to Manuel's room, looking for him, and found only an essentially-gutted room and four trashbags of broken belongings in the centre of the floor. He cleaned up the mess. _Her_ mess. On his own, and after a demon attack, and she _knew_ how demons affected him. So she'd searched the grounds for him, knowing he'd be outside, away from the tense atmosphere in the mansion, ignoring the glares and poisonous stares she got from certain quarters. Until she found him, in the first place she should have looked.
Manuel could feel Amanda looking for him, but he couldn't bring himself to care much. If he opened himself to her, he'd open himself to everything else, and he just flat-out refused to start gibbering and drooling on people now. Not after he'd handled the attack itself with a minimum of public panic. "Hola." he said to her, voice absolutely flat, not bothering to turn around and actually face her. "Feeling better?"
She dropped down onto the dock next to him, her shoulder lightly brushing his. "Some," she said. "Didn't sleep much... or at all, really. Strange got me t' meditate with him, try an' put stuff away in me head. Did some good." Reaching over, she brushed his hand lightly with her fingers. "'M sorry for leavin' like that."
"You needed to." he said simply, voice still mostly flat. "Time to get away, to put yourself together. I'm glad that you're better now." he said, keeping a tight fist around his own unruly emotions. "I cleaned up what's left of my room." he said. "So you don't need to worry about that. And I've got a conference call with Emma Frost on Monday morning, 8AM. And all of my notes and documents are - well, I can probably re-create them. I should really go get started on that." he said, but made no move to get up.
"Christ, love, I'm so sorry 'bout that. I feel awful. Losin' me grip like that, puttin' you in danger, wreckin' yer stuff..." Amanda bowed her head. "I dunno if I can make it up t' you, but I want to. Somehow." Taking a deep breath, she reached inside her jacket, pulled out a plastic shopping bag wrapped around a medium-sized box. "I got you somethin', on the way back. Got Strange t' stop for me. Here." She held the makeshift parcel out for him to take. "Sorry 'bout the outside, didn't have time t' wrap it."
Manuel twisted his torso around so that he could take the gift. "You didn't have to do this..." he said, then he pulled out the box from the shopping bag. "Hey, a new iPod. One of the newer models too." he said with some pleasure finally creeping back into his voice. "Thank you. I think you smashed my last one. I couldn't get it to work afterwords. This is - nice." he said with a crooked little smile.
"I figured I probably had killed yer other one, an' I know how important music is to you, so I figured it was the most important thing t' replace." She gave him a tentative smile, ducking her head slightly so she could meet his eyes. "Did I thank you? For what you did for me? 'Cause I should have."
Manuel shook his head. "You were too busy calling me Rack to thank me properly." he said drily, all humor banished from his voice. "I sincerely hope that was just the trauma speaking."
"I what? Oh fuck, Manny, I had no idea..." The horror in her face, her voice was obvious. "I didn't know what I was sayin', most of the time. Moira said somethin' 'bout post traumatic shock an' flashbacks, but I thought... I thought it was real, that he was there. I never meant t' hurt you, love."
"That hurt." he admitted. "But I think it was just the trauma - wasn't it? Do you really think of me like you do him?" he asked, refusing to break down right now. He could go be alone and break down if he had to. "I was trying to hold you together, and I failed."
"No, of course not. Yer nothin' like him, nothin'. The whole thing with Remy fucked with me head so bad I didn't know where I was, or who anyone else was. When you an' Nate were there, I thought Rack was bloody clonin' himself or somethin' - kept seein' his face on everyone." She could feel the iron-tight control he had on his emotions, on himself, and her heart ached. She'd damaged more than his room. "I love you, Manny, an' I know yer'd never hurt me. I _know_ that." She reached out to him again, slipping her hand into his free one. "You didn't fail. If you hadn't been there, I probably wouldn't've made it at all. It was bad."
Manuel clutched her hand just beyond the point of pain. "I know." he said. "But I can't convince my feelings that what I know is true. It will take some time. And fending you off, and everyone else off, has put me into a really foul mood. Which is why I'm out here. I didn't have anywhere else I could go." he said, voice tight with suppressed emotion. "I pushed as hard as I could, and I couldn't bring you out of it. I have the power..." he said, blinking away tears. "But I couldn't do it."
If the grip on her hand hurt, she covered it well, even with the link. It didn't matter. "You tried, I know you did," she said, unsure of how to fix this. "But there was somethin'... part of me, I think, fightin' you. There's somethin' in me that doesn't want t' let Rack go, an' that's what you ran up against." She pulled his hand up, lay it on her chest, over her heart, where underneath was the scarring. "The bindin's still there, even if he ain't. It's a shitload of magic, an' it's too strong for even you."
Manuel scowled at that. "I do not like having limits." he admitted in the Understatement of the Century. "I should have been able to..." he said before he choked off his words and stared at the water. "I wanted to give you peace." he said. "My English is not good enough."
"Try it in Latin," she said with a small smile. "It was all we had when we first met, remember?"
Manuel smiled thinly at the reminder. "True." he admitted. "Die, imperialist wossnames." he said with just the hint of a smirk on his face. "You remember, right?"
"The Spanish Avenger an' Anarchy Grrl." Amanda snickered a little. "Man, was I ever stoned."
"And because you were, I was." he said with his first honest grin in about two days. "But you had excellent taste even then - you chose to stay with me, even after you sobered up."
"Knew a good thing when I saw it," she told him with a grin. "Even off me face." She leaned over, kissed his cheek gently. "You should teach me Castillian," she said. "'S got Latin roots, so it wouldn't be that hard. An' I want you t' be able t' tell me what you need to, without the words gettin' in the way."
Manuel hrmmed. "Might be a good idea." he said after a moment's thought. "No, you should learn Castillian. We can get started tomorrow after work and classes." he said. "Sound good?"
"Learnin' a new language? Gee, how will I cope?" she deadpanned, then let go of his hand to wrap her arms around him instead. "Love you."
Manuel leaned back into the hug. "Love you, too. How do you _do_ that? I feel better already, a little bit."
"It's a talent," she said, grinning, before planting a kiss on his ear. "Wanna go find somewhere warm an' away from people for a while? I know a nice big pile of straw in the stables... Better 'n freezin' yer arse off out here."
Manuel grinned again. "I think that would be very well." he said, standing up and offering his free arm to Amanda. "Lead on."
Where: Docks
When: Sunday, after she returns to the Mansion
What Happens: They reassure each other. Relationship fluff, pure and simple. And a new icon!
---
Manuel wandered the grounds absently, trying very hard to think of not much at all. He had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his slacks, and a thick sweater to keep him warm. He'd at least bothered to get cleaned up before he began wandering, but he'd been out there for hours, and his hair was highly touselled by the wind. He sat on the docks to the lake, letting his feet dangle over the water. His shoulders were hunched over, like he was trying to draw into himself and disappear.
Amanda felt a stab of guilt when she saw him. As soon as Strange had dropped her off, she'd gone to Manuel's room, looking for him, and found only an essentially-gutted room and four trashbags of broken belongings in the centre of the floor. He cleaned up the mess. _Her_ mess. On his own, and after a demon attack, and she _knew_ how demons affected him. So she'd searched the grounds for him, knowing he'd be outside, away from the tense atmosphere in the mansion, ignoring the glares and poisonous stares she got from certain quarters. Until she found him, in the first place she should have looked.
Manuel could feel Amanda looking for him, but he couldn't bring himself to care much. If he opened himself to her, he'd open himself to everything else, and he just flat-out refused to start gibbering and drooling on people now. Not after he'd handled the attack itself with a minimum of public panic. "Hola." he said to her, voice absolutely flat, not bothering to turn around and actually face her. "Feeling better?"
She dropped down onto the dock next to him, her shoulder lightly brushing his. "Some," she said. "Didn't sleep much... or at all, really. Strange got me t' meditate with him, try an' put stuff away in me head. Did some good." Reaching over, she brushed his hand lightly with her fingers. "'M sorry for leavin' like that."
"You needed to." he said simply, voice still mostly flat. "Time to get away, to put yourself together. I'm glad that you're better now." he said, keeping a tight fist around his own unruly emotions. "I cleaned up what's left of my room." he said. "So you don't need to worry about that. And I've got a conference call with Emma Frost on Monday morning, 8AM. And all of my notes and documents are - well, I can probably re-create them. I should really go get started on that." he said, but made no move to get up.
"Christ, love, I'm so sorry 'bout that. I feel awful. Losin' me grip like that, puttin' you in danger, wreckin' yer stuff..." Amanda bowed her head. "I dunno if I can make it up t' you, but I want to. Somehow." Taking a deep breath, she reached inside her jacket, pulled out a plastic shopping bag wrapped around a medium-sized box. "I got you somethin', on the way back. Got Strange t' stop for me. Here." She held the makeshift parcel out for him to take. "Sorry 'bout the outside, didn't have time t' wrap it."
Manuel twisted his torso around so that he could take the gift. "You didn't have to do this..." he said, then he pulled out the box from the shopping bag. "Hey, a new iPod. One of the newer models too." he said with some pleasure finally creeping back into his voice. "Thank you. I think you smashed my last one. I couldn't get it to work afterwords. This is - nice." he said with a crooked little smile.
"I figured I probably had killed yer other one, an' I know how important music is to you, so I figured it was the most important thing t' replace." She gave him a tentative smile, ducking her head slightly so she could meet his eyes. "Did I thank you? For what you did for me? 'Cause I should have."
Manuel shook his head. "You were too busy calling me Rack to thank me properly." he said drily, all humor banished from his voice. "I sincerely hope that was just the trauma speaking."
"I what? Oh fuck, Manny, I had no idea..." The horror in her face, her voice was obvious. "I didn't know what I was sayin', most of the time. Moira said somethin' 'bout post traumatic shock an' flashbacks, but I thought... I thought it was real, that he was there. I never meant t' hurt you, love."
"That hurt." he admitted. "But I think it was just the trauma - wasn't it? Do you really think of me like you do him?" he asked, refusing to break down right now. He could go be alone and break down if he had to. "I was trying to hold you together, and I failed."
"No, of course not. Yer nothin' like him, nothin'. The whole thing with Remy fucked with me head so bad I didn't know where I was, or who anyone else was. When you an' Nate were there, I thought Rack was bloody clonin' himself or somethin' - kept seein' his face on everyone." She could feel the iron-tight control he had on his emotions, on himself, and her heart ached. She'd damaged more than his room. "I love you, Manny, an' I know yer'd never hurt me. I _know_ that." She reached out to him again, slipping her hand into his free one. "You didn't fail. If you hadn't been there, I probably wouldn't've made it at all. It was bad."
Manuel clutched her hand just beyond the point of pain. "I know." he said. "But I can't convince my feelings that what I know is true. It will take some time. And fending you off, and everyone else off, has put me into a really foul mood. Which is why I'm out here. I didn't have anywhere else I could go." he said, voice tight with suppressed emotion. "I pushed as hard as I could, and I couldn't bring you out of it. I have the power..." he said, blinking away tears. "But I couldn't do it."
If the grip on her hand hurt, she covered it well, even with the link. It didn't matter. "You tried, I know you did," she said, unsure of how to fix this. "But there was somethin'... part of me, I think, fightin' you. There's somethin' in me that doesn't want t' let Rack go, an' that's what you ran up against." She pulled his hand up, lay it on her chest, over her heart, where underneath was the scarring. "The bindin's still there, even if he ain't. It's a shitload of magic, an' it's too strong for even you."
Manuel scowled at that. "I do not like having limits." he admitted in the Understatement of the Century. "I should have been able to..." he said before he choked off his words and stared at the water. "I wanted to give you peace." he said. "My English is not good enough."
"Try it in Latin," she said with a small smile. "It was all we had when we first met, remember?"
Manuel smiled thinly at the reminder. "True." he admitted. "Die, imperialist wossnames." he said with just the hint of a smirk on his face. "You remember, right?"
"The Spanish Avenger an' Anarchy Grrl." Amanda snickered a little. "Man, was I ever stoned."
"And because you were, I was." he said with his first honest grin in about two days. "But you had excellent taste even then - you chose to stay with me, even after you sobered up."
"Knew a good thing when I saw it," she told him with a grin. "Even off me face." She leaned over, kissed his cheek gently. "You should teach me Castillian," she said. "'S got Latin roots, so it wouldn't be that hard. An' I want you t' be able t' tell me what you need to, without the words gettin' in the way."
Manuel hrmmed. "Might be a good idea." he said after a moment's thought. "No, you should learn Castillian. We can get started tomorrow after work and classes." he said. "Sound good?"
"Learnin' a new language? Gee, how will I cope?" she deadpanned, then let go of his hand to wrap her arms around him instead. "Love you."
Manuel leaned back into the hug. "Love you, too. How do you _do_ that? I feel better already, a little bit."
"It's a talent," she said, grinning, before planting a kiss on his ear. "Wanna go find somewhere warm an' away from people for a while? I know a nice big pile of straw in the stables... Better 'n freezin' yer arse off out here."
Manuel grinned again. "I think that would be very well." he said, standing up and offering his free arm to Amanda. "Lead on."
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This is...
Date: 2004-10-11 11:20 am (UTC)*beams* I was the mad icon iconer what iconed at midnight. Literally. Doug has two, Jamie should have one coming up, Manny should have another extra-super-creepy one, and MA might have a few.
And I'm taking requests.
Re: This is...
Date: 2004-10-11 04:15 pm (UTC)Re: This is...
Date: 2004-10-11 06:40 pm (UTC)Re: This is...
Date: 2004-10-11 06:56 pm (UTC)I can't stop looking at that icon. I'm a sad, sad person. But it's just so adorable...
Re: This is...
Date: 2004-10-11 07:04 pm (UTC)