Scott and Jubilee log: Pride Goeth

[x-jubilee.livejournal.com]

Who:Scott Summers and Jubilation Lee
When: Friday 15th October, 6am
What Happens: Jubilee takes Scott up on his offer to come see him, if a few days late. He shows her what he said he would.




Jubilee hesitated before the door to Scott's office, her hand pressed
against the wood. She wasn't sure she should be doing this, wasn't
sure at all. He had just gotten out of Medlab, did she really have the
right to push him like this? But he'd told her to be there at 9am the
following morning and even if it was several days later it was 9am now
and she'd always kept appointments.

Time to prove what she was made of, she supposed. She knocked loudly
on the door and waiting to be asked in.

"Come in," Scott called absently, skimming through lessons plans for
the mechanical engineering course for the next couple of weeks. When
the door opened and Jubilee stepped in, he looked up and froze,
regarding her somewhat warily. "Morning," he said cautiously. Then the
reason she was there hit him, and his jaw tightened. "I suppose I
didn't really expect you to come."

Jubilee took the chair in front of his desk without asking and
remembered at the last moment that she was meant to be being more
adult and resisted the urge to put her feet on his desk. She wondered
if he'd take offence if she visibly checked out his office. She'd
already noted the exits when she'd walked in. Not that she'd have any
reason to be exiting Scott's office in a non conventional manner but
it was always good to keep in practice. She'd avoided mall rent a cops
on a number of occasions simply by knowing more about the nooks and
crannies of a place then they did.

"Dude, how long have I been livin' here now? The one thing you should
have expected when you said that was me turnin' up the next day." she
said, her expression relaxed and her smile evident. "I'm stubborn like
that."

She was smiling at him. Was she trying to put him off guard, or what?
Scott stared at her for a moment longer and then closed his folder
with the lesson plans, setting it aside. "Give me a minute," he said,
his voice low as he turned to his computer, calling up his database.
For a moment, he wasn't sure precisely what he should show her, but
then more of the specifics of their 'conversation' came back and he
told himself not to wimp out. His jaw tightened as he opened up the
doomsday files, then turned the screen around so she could see it.
"Here," he said curtly, pushing the mouse at her as well.

Jubilee nodded just as curtly and turned her attention to the screen.
She read in silence for a few moments, clicking the mouse to scroll
the screen down as she rapidly integrated the knowledge in the
database. She'd always been a quick study when it was something that
interested her and information was important. After a few moments her
skin tone became noticeably paler and she was chewing on her bottom
lip hard enough to leave teeth marks.

She kept at it though, kept reading it even as the information scared
the living hell out of her. She'd wanted this and stubborn as she was,
she'd be damned she'd let Scott see her break and run from it now.

"It's bad." she said, her eyes meeting his finally as she pushed back
from the screen.

'Understatement' she thought.

Scott, who'd been watching her expression change as she read, turned
the screen back around so that he could see precisely what she'd been
looking at. "I opened up sixty files for you," he said quietly,
noticing that she'd skimmed through almost forty. "That's one portion
of the database. There are almost four hundred and fifty."

Jubilee grimaced and then her expression cleared as she looked at him
directly. She was pushing herself, poking at the horror she'd felt at
seeing those files. She needed to see it all though, needed to know.
It wasn't to feel safer, she felt less safe now then she'd ever
imagined feeling in this place. What she really wanted to do was get
up and walk away. But, a feeling stopped her. She wanted to help.
Seeing those files, knowing that it wasn't even half of the dangers.
She was scared and felt more helpless now then she'd felt since that
night with her parents. But she wasn't going to run away this time. It
was a surprising revelation for someone who knew just how effective
running had been up till then. She wondered what Samson would say
about that.

"I ain't a quitter, Scott. Even if it gives me screamin' nightmares
for the rest of my life, I want to see them, every last file. I want
to help, and I know you ain't gonna let me till I prove I can. I was a
brat before. Readin' those, I know it now and I'm sorry. But I ain't
quittin'. I asked for this, I'm gonna see it through."

She tried to put every bit of sincerity she could behind those words.
She'd been a brat before, pushing him at the worst possible time.
Seeing the files, she realised just how badly she'd stumbled there.
The horrors she'd seen in those files were going to give her screaming
nightmares. She could feel the sparks forming around her hands as she
struggled to contain the emotions, this was not what she needed when
she was trying to prove how stable she was.

'Um...you may have ta scroll for me though.' she finished lamely.

Scott stared at her hands. "I think that's probably enough for now,"
he said quietly. "Jubilee, most of these files... I've drawn them up
over the last eighteen months. Over time. I wouldn't let team members
sit down and read through all of them at one sitting."

She deflated then, slumping in the chair as she clenched her hands
into fists till the sparks stopped. "Okay."

She stared around at the office, wondering if she'd ever be able to
think of this school the same way again. Just the files she'd read had
made it seem so damn fragile. She thought about Kitty and Illyana and
what she'd do if they were gone. It wasn't a world she wanted to live
in, and for the first time in her life she realised she had something
beyond herself to care about. Something finally worth standing and
fighting for.

"I'm sorry about before. I was stupid steppin' in front of you like
that. I'm just...Well, calendar girl for poor impulse control is
probably the words. You ever had your life be so much about things
happening to you, that you forget that it's not all about you?"

"I think it's easy to get caught up in your own problems, yes," Scott
said very quietly. "But you don't have to overcompensate, Jubilee. You
don't have to throw away everything and bury yourself in this." He
waved a hand at the screen.

She smiled wryly. "I ain't one for half measures but I get your
meaning. Although, isn't it what you've been doin'? Burying yourself
in it, that is?"

"There are things that have to be done, Jubilee," Scott said
restlessly, unable to quite believe that he was hearing this from her,
of all people. "Up until last weekend, I thought I was the one who
needed to do them. Apparently I was wrong."

Jubilee nodded, thinking. "So...um, what now?"

"Now..." Scott trailed off, staring a bit blankly at her. "You talk to
the Professor, I suppose," he said more curtly. "If you want to help.
He'll probably ask you how you see yourself doing that. You might want
to have a concrete answer before you walk through that door."

She nodded, thinking about that for a moment. "Okay. I'll do that.
But...well, what would you do if you were me? It ain't exactly like
I'm what anyone would ask for, am I? Especially not after my little
adventure in house breaking a few weeks back. How do I convince him to
give me a shot? Or anyone for that matter?"

"Charles sees you for who you are," Scott said briefly. "The whole
telepath thing. You don't need to worry about convincing him of
anything if you're being honest with yourself. As for everyone
else..." He paused, smiled tightly. "One person at a time."