xp_logs | Doug, Marie-Ange, noonish

In an effort to not keep secrets, Doug tells Angie about the training. She... doens't freak half as much as he thought, and has a little secret of her own. God, this log wasn't supposed to go this way at ALL.

Oreos, hot cocoa - with marshmellows, and a change of clothes. The last being an impulse - Marie-Ange thought that by now, Doug would have at least had a shower and possibly might want more than sweatpants and a t-shirt. Or no shirt. Or whatever he was wearing now. She tucked the bundle of clothes under her arm and opened the door slowly, taking care not to drop anything.

Raising his head, Doug smiled weakly and nervously as Marie-Ange entered. "Hi, Angie," he said softly, wishing that he could help her with the door and pile of things she was carrying.

The pile of clothes ended up on the bed at Doug's feet, and the package of Oreos on the small table next to him. The mug of cocoa, however, was handed over. "I think ... maybe there are too many marshmellows, because I gave you mine." Marie-Ange said, having decided that whatever Doug wanted to say, he could bring up when he was ready. She wasn't pushing. She was -tired- of pushing.

Holding the mug of cocoa carefully in one hand, Doug tried to shuffle over in the bed to make room for Marie-Ange to sit on it, patting the spot with his hand and asking her with his eyes.

Torn between still wanting to be cold and distant because she was -still- angry and knowing that he'd made an effort, and not wanting that to go unrewarded, Marie-Ange stood for a moment, before sighing softly and sitting on the edge of the bed, carefully sipping from her own mug.

Doug sipped at his cocoa for a minute or two in silence, trying to decide how to bring up what he was pretty sure was the plan of some of the teachers. "I think Mr. Summers wants to start me training in the Danger Room," he said to begin.

Marie-Ange blinked. "He... what?" She could not possibly be hearing that correctly. "For -what- exactly?"

"Punishment, I think, sort of," Doug continued. "To show me just how stupid I was, and work the hero complex out of me." He knew Marie-Ange probably wouldn't be very happy with the idea, but most importantly he wanted to be honest and up front with her and talk about it. No more secrets.

"And you ... agreed.. to this?" Marie-Ange asked, very carefully. It wasn't so much that the idea scared her - except that at her core, it was terrifying. So it did scare her. A lot. "Before or after you promised me that you wouldn't... " She sighed. He hadn't actually promised he wouldn't train. The possiblity hadn't even come up in her mind.

"Mr. Summers didn't seem to give me much of an option," Doug replied steadily. He rather doubted they would be looking to him to join the X-Men any time soon, if ever. Not to mention his own doubt in his ability to contribute significantly to an X-Men mission. The events of the blood drive showed that pretty well. "If you don't like it, we can talk to Mr. Summers," he said.

After a long period of silence, Marie-Ange shook her head slowly. "I do not want to make him any more upset with you than he is." She let out a long breath between clentched teeth and tried to steady her hands from shaking. "I do not like this. I have -nightmares- about this. But the nightmares I had already happened. You already -died-." The more Marie-Ange spoke, the colder and more biting her tone got, ending with a bitter twist on the word 'died'.

Doug shook his head insistently. "I would rather have Mr. Summers angry with me than you, Angie. I don't want to do this if it's going to be a problem for you." He paused. "Besides, how do we know the vision doesn't mean something else? What if it wasn't the blood drive at all?" And that was what woke him in a cold sweat the past few nights. "Nathan's right, you and he have hard times interpreting the visions, how should I know what to think?"

"I do not know. I do not know if that vision means something else. Maybe ithe uniform was symbolic, Doug. I do not know, and .." She shook her head furiously. "I was just as locked into one interpretation as you were. I asked Mr. Summers not to ever let you be an X-man. For all I know it could be symbolic, or mean something else entirely." She sighed. "I am not going to be -angry- at you. Just worried."

A ragged breath blew out of Doug's mouth and he scrubbed his hair with a hand. "I don't know, Angie. You were right. I died. I don't...I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I _should_ do. There's a part of me that wants to be able to do good for people with the X-Men. But there's a part of me that thinks it would be pretty irresponsible. I'm one of the most vulnerable people here, what _business_ do I have going out and putting myself in the line of fire?" He screwed his eyes shut against hot tears.

"Maybe... Mr. Summers wants you to see that?" Marie-Ange said quietly. "I do not know, Doug. I do not know what to tell you, I do not know what is right, and I cannot give you any answers." She set her mug down so she wouldn't spill it and pulled her knees up to her chest. "I do not think it would be wise for either of to play the what if game anymore."

"I don't know what's right, either..." The tears leaked out his eyelids and down his face as Doug wrapped his arms around his waist defensively. "When I first got here, I thought the X-Men were amazing, but I didn't think I'd ever have anything to offer in that way. Then we went to Asgard, and I was the one who got us home, and I realized that my power isn't completely useless. But now..." He sighed. "Now I don't know that I could go back out, knowing there's a chance every time that I might get killed. It _scares_ me, Angie."

"But all the X-men do that. All of us do that, without being X-men. " Marie-Ange shifted over, resting her head on Doug's shoulder. "Mr. Worthington only has wings, Mr. Summers only has eye..beam... laser... I do not know what they are. They risk it. Maybe.. . " she sighed. "Were you thinking about it? Before this? About asking to train like Paige is?"

Doug stopped and cocked his head. "Before...yes, I was thinking about it. Now...I don't know." He sighed. "I just don't know what the right thing to do is."

"You were thinking about it? Why?" Marie-Ange bit her bottom lip. Now was probably not the best time to tell Doug -she- had been thinking about it.

Doug shrugged. "I was being young and stupid, again. Thinking in terms of movies, and comic books, and superheroes." He sighed. "And then I got a lesson in what the real world is like."

"And now Mr. Summers wants you to ... did he even say what he wanted you to do?" Confused, that's what Marie-Ange was.

"He just told me that he and I were going to be spending a lot of time together because I don't get the option of endangering myself or anyone else because of me being an idiot." Doug sighed. "Sounds like early morning runs and training sessions to me.

"That... sounds like he is not making you try to be an X-man though.." Marie-Ange ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "I do not think he could make you if you did not want to." She swallowed at the lump in her throat and bit her bottom lip. "They said, when I first arrived, Mr. Summer said - that no one had to if they did not want to. I was worried about it."

"I don't...right now, I don't know that I want to," Doug admitted. "Up until this weekend, I thought maybe I did, but now I'm not so sure." He shrugged. "But most of all, I don't want this to be a problem for you. And I don't want to have any secrets from you anymore."

At times like this, Marie-Ange really wondered what the hell happened to her poker face. It never stayed put in conversations with Doug. She bit her bottom lip and said something in French -very- quietly in a near whisper, almost entirely inaudibly.

"You were thinking about it after Asgard?" Doug asked, slightly shocked. She had been so adamant about her visions, and Doug never putting on an X-Men uniform. But she'd been thinking about it? He corrected himself. Just because she'd not wanted him to do it didn't mean that she couldn't.

It took far too long to get her voice working again to the point where she could explain, and Marie-Ange gestured for a few seconds, trying to say anything at all. Gesturing didn't help much, and she finally managed to get the tightness out of her throat and talk after finishing most of her cocoa. "I.. I was thinking about it a little. After getting Miles and Amanda out of the castle, after fighting the guards with Paige. I.. did not hate the idea as much as I thought I would."

Doug reached out a hand tentatively to rest it on Marie-Ange's. "There's nothing wrong with that, love." He smiled gently and stroked the back of her hand with a thumb.

"So .. .you.. training would not be .. a -very- large problem for me. I would just be worried .. " The words were -hard- to get out. Because it was a problem, and she was scared. But ... "Doug, I should not be the reason you make any decisions like this. I cannot make it for you, and I cannot tell you what to do. I want you to be safe, but ... I do not want to be bossy. I do not want to tell you what to do."

Doug let out a deep breath. He'd honestly thought Angie would be much more mad than this, and it was something of a relief to have a calm conversation about it. "I...I don't know right now," he admitted. "But I think part of it's a reaction to Saturday. So...I think I need to think about it. And talk to you, because I don't want to have any secrets, and I want you to be a part of big decisions like this."

Marie-Ange's mouth was dry, and her tongue felt too thick to speak clearly.. "Would it... be less scary if I was there?" she asked. "Even if you are not training for .. -that-. "

"I...maybe," Doug said. "I think I need to sit down and talk to Mr. Summers before any of this happens, because he should know that I'm a little freaked out by this."

"I think we both perhaps need to talk to him."