Manuel and Alison - Training Log One

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Manuel and Alison have their first training session. Things go relatively well.



Manuel looked around Alison's office with some nervousness. Despite the reassurances, he could not help but think he was being set up. But this was too important to leave to chance and stolen opportunities anymore. He practiced his breathing just like Loki had taught him, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Feed the emotions into the Flame while embracing the Void. After a few minutes, his mind calmed and he reached that state of perfect emotionlessness necessary for him to truly understand the nuances of his power.

Betsy had already settled in her own meditative pose, the new partition screen Alison had added to her office keeping her out of sight, her presence whispering briefly in the back of Alison's mind before fading away into a quiet and watchful silence. Just as it was important for Manuel to truly be aware of his own mental state of mind, so it was for Alison on another level. Thankfully, finding a calm, unthinking frame of mind was the thing she had practiced on a consistent and thorough basis since her arrival at the mansion - it took her only a few moments to slip into the near trance like state which would serve as the best foil for this exercise, before entering the office.

Manuel looked up as Alison walked in the door. "Are you ready?" he asked her, as he felt her marshal her emotional resources. He could almost see it, too, as a smoothing out of the colors that comprised her emotional makeup. "I think we'll start with something positive today, if that is acceptable?" he said, all business.

"Mmm. Yes," she answered quietly. They hadn't discussed which emotions would be used - this had been in fact the only term that had not been set per se before the sessions, for the simple reason that training meant touching any of them, after all. At least things were starting out in a level way, which suited Alison just fine, as she knew better than to expect every session would touch one of the more positive emotions available. Breathing deep and even, she sat down in the chair - not her desk chair but another which had been placed so that she and Manuel were facing each other. "Whenever you want to start."

"I'll start out with as light a touch as I can. When my eyes stop glowing, I want you to tell me how you feel. I'll be trying for different variations on confidence - I'm trying to practice, after all. I'll also be going for subtle." he said. His eyes then glowed for a brief second - to his vision, he had snaked a bright golden yellow tendril of confidence into Alison's brain. He watched the rest of her emotions as the new thread integrated itself into her existing patterns. If he was doing this right, he was trying to make her more confident about the practice sessions. "Tell me, how do you feel?"

"Safer," was the first thing that came to mind, Alison not hesitating in the least to simple state things as they were, her breathing deepening a touch in reaction. She smiled a bit at that then turned her thoughts inwards, closing her eyes for a moment to concentrate on the within and that alone to determine exactly which emotion he was going for. "Confident." It threaded through her calm ever so lightly, barely a touch of it but it was an emotion she knew well, from her concert days for the most part.

Manuel nodded. "Good. Can you be more specific? Confident about what?" he asked, striking to the heart of the matter. He knew she was going to feel more confident, but what he really wanted to know is if he added the color to the right thread and in the right amounts. This was the part that was little more than guesswork to him, but he refused to let the frustration grow in him. He was getting training now.

Silence reigned for a moment - Alison keeping her attention only upon what she was feeling and nothing else, his voice and questions heard and understood although not overtly acknowledged. "More confident about what we're doing now, I think," she finally said, opening her eyes just a bit although they remained unfocused. It had been a guess at first, more than anything else, based on the fact that her first thought had been one of safety, so she had taken the time to block everything else, analyzing the feeling as best she could.

Manuel nodded once. "Thank you." he said, as neutrally as he could. "Now let's try something else. Same emotion, different thread." He added as his eyes glowed red. This time, he was aiming for her more essential self - confidence in her life as a whole. This took slightly more effort, but he was barely even trying. It was harder to do subtle changes like this; it would be much easier to just go in and slam the emotions into her brain. But he was trying to learn subtlety. "There you go. Eventually, we will do this while you are distracting me - I have to learn to be able to split my focus. But for right now, we'll keep things simple."

A huff of breath escaped her this time, the sudden change not jarring exactly but unexpected - perhaps because it was simply something she hadn't felt in a long time. "Oh," Alison breathed out as the feeling took hold gently. "Confidence in everything," she stated, back straightening a bit as she nodded. "Just a general feeling." It didn't feel like she was on top of the world, but it was something she'd learned to recognize as the base for that particular sensation.

Manuel nodded again. "OK, let's try something a little different now." he said, then his eyes glowed again. He pushed that golden yellow color in Alison's emotions, pushed it even higher, careful to keep an eye out for any ramifications of his change on the rest of her mind. She responded so beautifully to empathic inputs, he realized with a mental grin. Probably all of her years on stage had acclimated her mind to dealing with a wave of strong emotion directed right at her.

She knew this feeling, as intimately as anything else and she closed her eyes once more, savoring every second of it. The smile on her lips would have been bittersweet were it not for the fact that only the emotional push wasn't leaving much room for that, except perhaps for a touch of yearning - it wasn't the full range of what it had been like, but even this much was enough to bring the memories back. "I know this," she said, simply, belatedly remembering that she
was supposed to keep track of things and report. "Just on the edge of knowing nothing can stop you, that you've made it and every door is open to you now." Oh yes. She knew this.

Manuel nodded. "Hrm. I didn't think I had pushed it quite that far." he said. Then he wiped away some of the confidence, whittled it down to something more like a warm certainty of success and not quite so much the near-monomania. "There. Now tell me how that feels."

The change was definite and she found herself leaning back in the chair, relaxing a touch. "Mmm. Lower, but still there. More normal too, now that I'm seeing the difference. Feeling it, rather." Alison tilted her head to the side, pondering. "It wasn't the strongest I've ever felt it before that though, mind you."

"Would you like to feel it at full strength?" Manuel inquired, for once not smirking or giving any indication that the question was anything other than quite serious. "I could arrange that." he said.
"And your spotter will make sure you don't go stark raving insane."

"How about a slow gradual increase?" she pondered, the faint twinge in the back of her mind reminding her that the confidence she was currently feeling was artificial. It meant he would have to concentrate constantly on what he was doing, instead of tweaking things each time. "We can ramp it up to the levels I do know and then slack off... or then push further if things feel steady, until Betsy gives the all stop sign."

Manuel nodded. "It's your mind." he said, and then began projecting. His transition up the sensation scale was fairly rough in spots, and invariably followed by a brief scowl from Manuel. He was having to work at this, and clearly didn't like it One Bit. But the confidence was moving upwards at a fairly respectable pace.

She started to answer his comment and then stopped, emotions steadily ramping up within. A tap of her finger on the chair's arm signaled the rough spots, echoed by the lightest of pings in the back of her mind - soon she wasn't hearing that at all however, the euphoria soon reaching the heights she'd experienced before. "Top." She took a slow, unsteady breath, her expression reflecting her feelings clearly. "This. This is what I know."

"That's it?" Manuel said with some surprise. "I'm not even really working at this here. I have quite a bit of top-end left." But he left the projection exactly where it was. He took the next few moments to study her emotions, to see what the confidence had done to her. "Looks like we've got a cascade here.' he muttered to himself. "Not just confidence anymore, but all kinds of other stuff in here. Hard to get a grip on, but I see pleasure in there - is that almost sexual? Shit, I can't tell." he rambled.

"No further till you can," she chuckled, shaking her head and leaning over for a moment, not quite overcome. Damn that felt good. These moments had been so rare, so carefully hoarded each and every time - and very much associated with being on stage and with music. "Pleasure yes. Not sexual. Tell me what the others are. One at a time." It was a touch difficult to be specific when feeling like this, but she managed. Alison wondered how long she could stand this before slipping into something else but the faint presence in the back of her mind seemed steady and strong. For now.

Manuel scowled at Alison. "When did YOU become the expert?" he grumbled, and then squinted at her. "There's a whole lot of pleasure in feeling confident. You like this feeling, but that's hardly surprising. A little bit of fear, but that's well-buried by the confidence. You're sure you can handle this level, but there's that small nagging voice in the back of your mind that suggests that maybe you can't." he guessed.

He always saw fear in everything, she reflected idly, "Fear and pleasure. You said there was 'all kinds of stuff' there." She took a shallow breath, then another, trying to keep the giddiness from overwhelming her. "What others are there?" Another breath. "Proportions thereof?" It was, Alison thought, getting a bit hard to concentrate. Even though she knew she could do this.

Manuel shrugged. "This isn't an exact science, and most of the other colors have faded by now. That happens sometimes." he said with a shrug. "Mostly it's now that golden yellow color, with a really faint black undertone. I think that one's you trying to come to terms with the feeling being artificial - here, let me bring that one out some more." he said as his eyes flashed red.

Well, the aim was to make it as exact a science as they could after all - that train of thought was somewhat derailed as the wave of confidence was matched by an equal sensation of something else which was nearly indefinable for a moment. Her breathing patterns went unsteady and Alison shuddered slightly, the feeling of doubt as to whether she could deal with all of this warring with the knowledge that it wasn't any trouble at all.

Manuel watched the war going on in Alison's mind with great interest. "Now this is fascinating stuff." he said absently as he watched. "Two conflicting emotional patterns, locked in stasis. I'd always wondered if I could replicate this..."

If formulating an answer would have been possible, Alison would have tried. As it was, Betsy's presence surged forward smoothly all of a sudden, supporting and steady, giving Alison just enough self-control to realize she was holding the arms of the chair in a white knuckled grip. And to tell Manuel that this particular test had neared its end. "Signal. From Betsy. Ramp down. Slowly."

Manuel wiped away all the changes he had made abruptly - no gentle slide downwards, no warning, just an absence. "Better now?" he asked her as he settled back into his chair. "Do you think that you can continue? We've barely scratched the surface of what is possible here."

The sudden shift left Alison reeling for a moment, struggling to find some steady emotional ground. Support came again through the link, giving her just enough to wrench herself back into a somewhat measured sense of self-control before Betsy receded cautiously to the background once more. Alison glanced at the clock, ruthlessly forcing herself to breathe evenly and stay calm once more, even as a very firm mental Not today floated in the back of her mind. "The shift was abrupt." It was a matter of fact comment, really. "Not for today," Alison continued in measured tones, feeling numb underneath the manufactured calm. "But we can go to two sessions a week as of next week. How are Tuesdays and Thursdays for you, early afternoon?"

"You were in distress. I felt it wise to remove the cause rather than shelter your feelings. Next time I will take my time about things." He said with just a hint of a grin. "And very well - I've learned some things today. I hope you have as well."

She would have a report to fill out later, once things had stabilized she knew, a tracker of the psychological effects of each session. But for now things were mostly blank, which should have been a disturbing sensation but for the fact that she really wasn't feeling all that much, so she just nodded. "We could talk about that at the start of the next session - compare impressions of the previous one each time before we go on."

Manuel nodded. "The suggestion makes sense. I have been good, so far, at setting aside my feelings and just working on what needs to be worked on. I just wanted to make a point of that. I'm not always - difficult." he said.

She smiled faintly at that, something floating just out of reach but still enough to generate the reaction. The link started threading warmth her way, gentle and soothing. "Just working on what needs to be worked on seems to be effective, if today is anything to judge by. This is good." It clearly wasn't a judgment on Manuel - just stating a fact, once more. She paused a moment, drawing in a slow, steadying breath. "It's why I suggested we try this twice a week. And - I'm not always the Devil Woman, either."

Manuel snorted, but there was a smile behind it as well. "So far, so good." he said, exhaling deeply. "I did not think things would last even this long." he admitted. "This has been interesting. Is this what it's like for normal people?"

She had no intention of backing out of the training sessions unless something drastic happened. The drastic was still undefined, which she knew left Betsy somewhat antsy (Alison being sodding mad had been mentioned more than once), but she figured they would all know it if it happened. For now, the talk combined with whatever Betsy was sending down the look was steadying and Alison started to relax steadily. "I'll need more definition to answer that. What is what like, exactly?"

Manuel made a vague gesture to Alison's office. "This. The whole thing. Working together. Learning. All of it. It's so different..." he said, then clammed up as a part of him alerted the rest of him that he was handing her free boxes of mental 9mm Parabellum to be used as she saw fit.

If she noticed the abrupt stop she gave no sign of it to his senses - literally still blank other than the steady thread of support from Betsy. "It depends on the people, really," Alison answered, sinking further into the chair as she thought about it. "I've had both beneficial or truly horrible learning experiences, from either well-inclined people or others out to do their best to make my life miserable. It's a work in progress, really. We probably will have setbacks." She was dead certain of it, in fact. "It would be silly not to anticipate any. But that just means we'll have to work past those as well and keep focusing on the training. That's all." She paused and shook her head slightly, as though to clear it of mental cobwebs. "Did that answer your question?"

"No, but I'll accept it and move on." he said. "Since we are finished for the day, I think that I will go get some lunch. Care to join me, or do you have to go throw up now?" he said, bitterness towards Nathan leaking through into his voice.

"Throw up?" She blinked, the puzzlement ringing through her clear as a bell across the rest of the stillness, then remembered what Nathan had told her. "No. I'm not feeling sick. A bit detached, maybe, but not sick. I had lunch earlier though and I'm meeting Kylun later on." She tilted her head to the side and offered him a small smile. "Thank you for the invitation, though."

Manuel blinked. "You're welcome." he said, recovering smoothly from his startlement. "If you will excuse me?" he asked, and then stood up to leave.

"Have a good day," she said, automatically, nodding in farewell as he stood up, pondering whether she wanted to talk to Kylun right away or not, now that she was thinking about that particular appointment.

Manuel let himself out of her office. Once the door closed behind him, he let a huge grin spread across his face. This was already so very different from his previous experience. Even though this was all guesswork, he dared to let himself feel just a little bit of hope.