xp_logs | Nathan and Madelyn, Nathan and Moira, Wednesday night

Backdated to late Wednesday night. Nathan stops in the medlab to check on Kyle and gives Madelyn what advice he can.

The dead were seen to. Time to turn his attention to the living. Nathan headed back into the main medlab, feeling oddly light-headed, yet as if every step was taking an effort. He didn't know where Moira was. The link didn't feel right. Well, nothing felt right; all he heard was a dull, rushing sound in the back of his mind. No comprehensible telepathic input at all.

He walked right to the door of the room where the boy was being kept, somehow not surprised to find Madelyn in there already, at his bedside checking his vital. "How is he?" Nathan asked from the doorway, appalled at the sound of his own voice.

"Asleep," Madelyn said, her voice flat. "He's a mess, but he's tough. Had to be, to..." She bit off what she was saying, returned her attention to her work. "There's enough drugs in him to stun an elephant - I'm just trying to get some reasonable blood work done up so we don't end up accidentally overdosing him if we give him any thing else."

"He's feral," Nathan said hoarsely, coming up to stand on the other side of the bed. "They'd have had to keep dosing him. His metabolism would have burned it off too quickly." The kid looked so young. Nathan closed his eyes, remembering the expression on his face when he'd broken into the conditioning lab. "Which means," he went on raggedly, "that the first stage of the conditioning would have been even harder on him. Ferals have trouble controlling their emotions under the best of circumstances."

"What can we expect?" Madelyn asked. She knew Nathan was barely holding it together, but this was important. She wouldn't lose this one, not after what had been found there. "In terms of reactions? I don't want to have to tie him down - poor kid's had enough of that - but we can't risk him getting violent and doing damage to himself or someone else."

"You may have to. He'll swing from numb to out of control with no warning." Nathan swallowed, then went on in a more level tone. "A telepathic suggestion, maybe... that might be better. Something to keep him from lashing out. They wouldn't have installed any of the anti-tampering triggers yet. Ask Charles or Betsy... I don't know what happened in there when I tried to get in contact with his mind, but I don't think we want a repeat performance."

"I'll talk to Charles." Madelyn stroked the rough hair back from the boy's slack face and clenched her jaw slightly. "And how about you? Anything I need to be made aware of before you collapse spectacularly?"

"I don't have a scratch on me," Nathan muttered, opening his eyes and blinking, trying to focus on her face. "I think--I think I'm probably in shock or something." A strained, barely audible laugh, or maybe it was just a gasp, slipped out before he could stop it. "Nothing that needs your attention. You--you'll stay with him? I need to... I can't stop just yet. Have to talk to Charles. Find out what Pete found in the safehouse computers..."

"I will." Leaving the boy's bedside for a moment, Madelyn crossed to Nathan, took his shoulders gently. "Just remember to stop before you fall over, all right? I understand you have to keep going for now, but I don't want you ending up in the bed next to him, all right?"

Nathan nodded jerkily, trying not to flinch at what should have been the reassuring pressure of her touch. "I have a list. I'll finish the list, then get some rest. I--" His gaze moved past Madelyn, to the boy on the bed, and his eyes started to burn, his vision blurring. "Don't leave him alone," he said, forcing the words out. "No matter what. Not for a second. And the door... the door has to stay open. Or he'll think he's back in the cell."

She caught the flinch, removed her hands. "I'll stay with him," she promised again.

Pull yourself together, Dayspring. Nathan closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths. "Thank you," he said, a little more steadily. "For coming. I'm... I'm just sorry we weren't in time for more of them."

"Don't." Madelyn almostly physically flnched. "Just... Not yet, okay? I'll talk about it, I promise, but not now. He needs a doctor, not a basket case. And if I think about the rest..." She clenched her jaw again. "No nervous breakdown today. Always time for nervous breakdown tomorrow."

"All right," Nathan murmured, swallowing hard. "And yeah... always time tomorrow." He forced his weary body to straighten. "I'll... be back. Soon. Call me if... if I'm needed."

"Of course." Madelyn was already turning back to the bed, adjusting the IV - the boy was dehydrated, so they had him on a drip to replenish fluids. "And don't make me use the tranq gun," she added, with a wry smile over her shoulder at him. "I'm a crack shot, don't you know?"

After doing all the necessary post-mission things, Nathan runs out of ways to hide from what happened. Moira is, of course, right there when he does.

Nothing left to do. He'd seen Charles, checked back in with Pete, talked to Madelyn, made sure Sam and Paige were both intact, looked in on the boy for a second time... all that he could do. Except go back and sit with the kid and he couldn't do that, not until he...

A cry of absolute anguish tore itself free from his throat and he slammed a fist into the unoffensive wall of the corridor. He slid down to the floor, trying to hold back the flood of grief as it suddenly burst through all his walls. But he couldn't. All he could see were those bodies, the too-large bodybags...

Moira, though busy in the medlab, had kept an 'ear' out on their link. She knew there were things he had to do before he could stop for the night, and she'd been accepting, if not content, of the need to wait. Until she felt the wave of grief burn across the link and then she was running, relieved to find him not that far from the medlab door. "Nathan?!" Frantic, she dropped to her knees and reached for him.

Not caring that they were in the middle of the hall, that anyone could have happened by and seen them, Nathan broke down, clinging to her desperately. "Only one," he sobbed, all of his control fracturing and falling away. "Only one, out of six..."

"Shh, baby," she whispered, holding him tightly as he cried. The link was so chaotic suddenly, as if a dam had burst.

#One... one out of six... the rest were gone, we were too late...# Flashes of images burned across the link. The hallway lined with empty cells. The bodybags, lined up in a row on the floor of the walk-in freezer.

Moira stiffened and shuddered as the flood of images hit her. #God. Love, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.#

He was gasping for air, coughing violently as the residual congestion from the flu decided to make itself known, but he still held onto her, as if she were the only thing solid in the world right now. More images blazed down the link. The fight, blood everywhere, the boy looking so panicked, so lost...

#Shhh, concentrate on me, Nathan. On th' fact th' there IS one tha' made it out alive.#

One. One, alive, and... Nathan couldn't stop crying. Moira's arms tightened around him and she kept murmuring comforting words he didn't quite comprehend. And maybe he needed to pull himself together, but he couldn't. Not right now. A few minutes. Just a few minutes.