xp_logs | Amanda and Manuel

Following the unbinding spell, Amanda goes down to medlab to share the good news. Manuel is in a funk, but shows he's learned his lesson from Istanbul.

She was tired, incredibly so, but the sense of euphoria, the sense of freedom buzzing along her nerves was too much to let her sleep. Amanda felt like she could take on the world right then. So she decided to do the next best thing - she was going to take on Manuel's depressed mood. She'd caught a flash that morning from the link, feelings of uselessness and sadness, before the dampener had obviously been put back on, but she'd had to put it out of her mind and focus on the spells she'd intended to cast. Now she could at least share some of her happiness, if she couldn't do anything else. Making sure the remote for the dampener was in her pocket, she headed down to the medlab, feet nearly silent in the notorious sexy slippers.

Manuel was drifting in and out of sleep. Medlab was deadly dull, with no laptop, no music, no empathy, and nothing to do but sit and ponder one's life. Manuel had been doing a _lot_ of pondering since the incident at Halloween. ~I'm just standing in the way~ he sang in the confines of his own head, confident that without his power he wouldn't be sharing anything right now.

"Hola," Amanda said from the doorway, quietly in case he was asleep. If he was she'd just sit with him for a while - without his power, he couldn't sense her there, but holding his hand seemed to soothe the dreams a little. "You awake, love?"

"Kinda." he said with a small wave of his hand. "How are you?" he asked her, voice flat and expressionless as it so often was when he was power-dampened.

"Good. Better than, but I'll tell you 'bout that later. Got a couple of surprises for you." She came in, sitting on the side of the bed, but careful not to jostle him too much. From one jacket pocket she pulled out his iPod, and from the other the dampener remote. "How's the pain, love? Settled enough for me t' turn that bloody thing off for a bit?" This close up, it was easy to see the glow of the amulet, even through her shirt, obviously doing some serious recharging work.

Manuel cracked a thin smile at the sight of his iPod. "Music!" he said, then groaned as something inside of him protested the volume. As to Amanda's other request, he shrugged. "I've been good - I had an empathy lesson earlier today, and didn't project my pain to anyone. It would be good to feel again."

"Easy, love. I'm out of juice for now, so I can't fix you again until tomorrow." Handing him the iPod, she hit the 'off' button on the remote, trying to moderate at least some of the good feeling she had just then so he wouldn't be overwhelmed when his powers returned. For the same reason she didn't touch him just yet either, although she planned to once he could appreciate a hello kiss properly.

Manuel closed his eyes as the dampener obediently shut itself down, and fought for control. The pain was particularly bad right now, having been several hours since his last Healing and drugs were too unpredictable to be administered with a doctor's supervision. And the doctors were off doing doctorly things at the moment. His struggle for control caused him to go pale, but while he was fighting he got a brainful of Amanda's happiness and enthusiasm - and they cut through him like a knife. "You feel happy." he muttered.

"I've got somethin' t' show you," she said, watching him carefully. The link was heavy with pain and depression, and without even thinking she reached out to try another Healing. There was a faint sputter of light from her hand, the faintest of glimmers, and then it vanished. Definitely no more magic for the night. "You up for it, love? It can wait it you aren't."

Manuel looked over at Amanda - whatever it was, it was very important to her. "You can show me." he said. "I could use something good," he added after a few moments. Thanks to his condition, he didn't have a whole lot of body-flexibility, but he did turn his head as far as he could in her direction.

She could just _tell_ him, but with Manuel, gestures worked better. Less chance of misunderstanding. Slipping off the jacket and lifting her shirt, she showed him the place where the demon had clawed her. The gouges had cut straight across several lines of binding spell, tearing up the existing scarring. 'Had', being the operative word. Now the gouges were pink and shiny, almost healed. And the skin beneath them smooth and unmarked. "Do you see that?" she asked, willing him to understand. If anyone would realise how important it was, he would.

Manuel just stared at Amanda's skin. "You found a way to unbind yourself." he whispered in shock. "You did it!" he said, forgetting himself for a second and then regretting it an instant later. "I would give you a hug, but I _hurt_." But his eyes glowed cherry red as he projected his elation and his relief into her brain, but under it was tinged a smoky sadness, a faint regret.

She would have done the hugging for him, but that would have involved too much pain as well, so she grabbed his hands and squeezed them instead. "I've got t' talk t' the docs, see what's involved... but I think I can get rid of as much of it as I want," she said, relishing the elation and relief and pride, even as the sadness touched her. "But yeah, I did it. Summoned that bastard Rack up an' gave him what for." Unable to contain herself, she leaned over and kissed him, careful not to touch his body. "He's gone, love. No more nightmares, no more livin' in his shadow."

Manuel smiled up at Amanda. "That's fantastic. I would love to celebrate with you, but..." he said, with a gesture at his rather abused body. "I just hope that I did more good than harm in the final analysis. I dreamed something odd a little while ago - it was almost like I was inside your mind, but not."

"You were, sort of. That was the spell - I needed a boost an' I had t' get it from the people I love." The fact she could _say_ it, without hesitation, was an indication she was definitely thinking differently. She leaned back again, taking his hand in hers. "You did lots of good. _Buckets_ of good." A giggle escaped her and she gave him a lopsided grin. "'M sorry, 'm a bit wired. Biggest spell I've ever done, an' I did it perfect. Tests an' all."

Manuel smiled, her enthusiasm finally cutting through his rather black fog. "Good for you!" he said, allowing himself to drink deep of her pleasure. "You've beaten him. You've beaten all of them." he said, but in the back of his mind one of his own demons was poking him with quick, jabbing thrusts of "She won't need you anymore".

"I've been workin' on things for a while," Amanda confessed. "'S why I was spendin' so much time with the books. That demon showin' up the other night... it was the kick in the arse I needed. Havin' it take me power like that, hurt the people I love..." She stroked his cheek gently. "Makin' me _worse_ than useless... I couldn't let it happen again. I had t' do somethin', get all this shite out of me head, so no-one else'd get hurt on my account. I couldn't do it just for meself, 'cause I'm stupid that way." There was a smile on her face as she tilted her head at him, but a tinge of worry in her eyes as well. "Will you still want me now I'm not broken any more?"

Manuel barked out a quick laugh. "And here I was laying here wondering if you still needed me since you're not broken anymore." he confessed. "And that I broke myself uselessly, put people in danger." he added with as deep of a sigh as he could manage. "Don't get me wrong - I think you finally becoming free is the best thing that has ever happened to you. I would leap and dance for joy if I were capable. I do not want this to turn into another Istanbul."

"You're daft - how many times do I have t' tell you I love you for _you_, not what you do for me? Or even to me," she added with a brief, wicked grin. Despite her words, her voice was fond. "Besides, what you did at the club? Gettin' the people out? Makes you a hero in my eyes. If you hadn't done that, there would've been lots more people hurt. Killed even." She pressed a kiss onto the palm of the hand she held. "I know yer happy for me. I can feel it, in me head." Another giggle, this one almost wondering. "There's a lot more space in there now."

Manuel smiled briefly. "I tried to get them out. I am not sure how much good I actually did, but I did try. Not that it really matters - I know and you know, that should be enough for me. I will have to report the use of my power to Xavier, and settle for whatever punishment he feels is appropriate." he said flatly. "Hopefully, it will be overlooked in the spirit of what I was trying to do. If he wanted to destroy me, I just handed him the perfect excuse." he said miserably.

"The X geezer don't strike me as the destroyin' type - look at how many fuck ups he lets stay here, after all." Amanda shrugged a little. "An' if he's gunna punish you for savin' people's lives - an' you _did_ - then I think we should hand him over to Illyana for exorcisin', since he'd have t' be possessed or somethin' to change his habits so much."

Manuel sighed. "I know, but old habits die hard." he said. "It is hard to remember sometimes that this isn't Spain, and there are different rules here." he explained. "That Xavier and the others want to help us, not to mold us into their image."

"You an' me both, love. When I first got here, I was convinced he was a pervert or somethin' - why else would he let so many of us stay here for free?" Amanda glowered a bit at the reference to Alphonso - there were times she really wished she could _mold_ him. Into something small and scaly. Possibly a newt. "Still, yer learnin', we both are. Just takes time, is all. Now, I know yer gotta be bored t' death down here - you want me t' bring you anythin' next time I visit? I figured you'd want yer music as soon as."

Manuel broke out his first honest smile in days. "I have music now. I think I'll survive until I can actually move about on my own." he said. "I've got a lot to think about, and since there's little else to do, I've been doing it."

"Thinkin' or broodin'?" she asked lightly, although the slight squeeze she gave his hand indicated she was at least partially serious.

"A little of both. OK, OK, a lot of both." he said with an embarrassed chuckle. "Let's face it, it hasn't been easy since I got here. I've been a fool, and I've hurt people. You, Jubilation, Marie-Ange on a good day, and possibly Katherine are the only people here who treat me with anything like a scrap of kindness. And I deserve their ire, for the most part. It is - not an easy thing to live with. And I am not finding a good way to correct the deficiencies."

"I wish there was somethin' I could do or say, t' make it easier... 'S the thing that pisses me off most about this place - yer've got all sorts of people who did awful things here - killin' people for fun or profit, dependin' which one you talk to, ex-spooks like Pete, even bloody Le Beau's confession t' bein' a serial killer... An' they're given a chance. You ain't, an' I'm fucked if I know why. 'S bloody hypocritical is what it is." Shaking off the momentary anger, Amanda tried to find the good. "Still, four people's three better than you had six months ago. Yer makin' progress."

Manuel smiled. "I should have known you would have seen the good in it." he said softly. "Let me show you, since I cannot physically, how I feel. Please?" he said, his voice low and serious.

She nodded without hesitation. "You can show me anythin' you like, love. Any way you need to."

"I love you." he said softly, and then opened his mind to her. All the things he could not express - his joy at her freedom, his love for her tolerance and understanding, and his most sincere wish that she be best person that she could be - all of it came pouring through. But underneath of it, not consciously shared, was the darker side of his emotions - the crushing loneliness, the physical pain, and the isolation - of being alone in a room, of not understanding what was going on around him. The things he normally buried deep, the things that normally didn't see the light of day.

No matter how often he shared his feelings with her like this, it was always a joyously overwhelming experience. All of it, the good and the bad. Opening eyes that had become suspiciously bright, Amanda scooted up the bed a little and leaned over to kiss him gently. "Yer welcome," she whispered in his ear, projecting as much love and reassurance she had in her back at him, the unspoken message clear. ~We’ll work it out.~

Manuel kissed her back as best he could, and then let his eyes drift closed. "I am tired." he said after a few long moments. "You should go. Healing tomorrow, right? Maybe I'll be able to walk then."

She nodded. "Afternoon, tho' - I should be recharged by then. Tonight used a lot of power. All I had an' then some." The magic high was still buzzing through her nerves, so she wouldn't be sleeping for a little while yet, but that was no reason to keep Manny awake. "I cued up a song on yer iPod t' listen to," she said with a shy smile. "You sleep, an' get better, an' then we can kick the world in the arse an' show it we ain't quitters. Together." She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. “Night, love,” she said, before putting her jacket back on and regretfully hitting the switch on the dampener remote again.

Manuel slowly put the white earbuds in, and then flicked the PLAY button on his iPod. Familiar piano chords filled his ears even as the hated feeling of emotional numbness from the dampener swept over him.