xp_logs | Nate, Amanda - Saturday evening

Set after this encounter with Jay (ignore the time stamp on that one), Amanda goes to ask Nathan for a certain amount of telepathci leeway as promised in these emails for Sarah's 'wake'. She's obviously bothered by something though, and it turns out to be this proposed outing.

He was turning into a couch potato. Seriously was, Nathan thought, turning on his side and squeezing his eyes shut, visualizing walls, buttresses, hoping to reinforce his shields. But there was really not much else to do besides sit here. He was up to date on preparation for classes, there was no outstanding marking, he wasn't scheduled for the Danger Room again until tomorrow night...

Nathan was cranky, but she had promised she'd ask... Amanda knocked gently on the door to his and Moira's suite, careful to make sure her mind was buttoned up tight with Strange's shielding techniques. "Nate? Can I bother you for just a sec? Won't take long," she called through the door.

Nathan opened his eyes, then sighed and pushed himself up to a sitting position, trying to smooth down his hair. "Come on in," he called back. Happy face. He could manage a happy face.

Amanda opened the door, but hesitated as she saw his rumpled state, the tiredness there. "Oh," she said. "'M sorry, you were restin'. I'll go."

"No, it's okay," Nathan said with a tentative smile as she turned to go. "I wasn't doing a very good job at it. Come in."

"I don't want t' bother you when yer not up for it..." she temporised, but came in any way, closing the door behind her. Everyone was so tired, so stretched... She'd ask about tonight and that would be it, she decided. He didn't need to hear about anything else. "Some of us were plannin' a sort of wake for Sarah in the basement tonight," she said. "With her leavin' an' all. There's gunna be some drinkin' - nothin' out of control or nothin'. But I wanted t' ask, if yer'd mind turnin' a blind eye t' anythin' you might pick up with the telepathy. We really need this, an' it's better we do it here where it's safe an' all."

"If I'd--" But that made sense. Charles had more than enough to occupy his attention, and Betsy was still playing Sleeping Beauty... Nathan sighed. "You've got something in mind to keep it from getting out of control?"

"Paige'll be there, an' she doesn't drink. 'Sides, there's only so much booze t' go 'round..." Amanda shrugged a little. "Look, I know you don't approve an' all, but..." She looked unhappy. "Sarah's our mate."

Nathan sighed again, rubbing at his stubbled jaw. "Look, if all you're asking me for is not to complain about what I overhear... okay. I did enough complaining last night to do me for the next month, I suppose." He smiled faintly. "But don't take that as tacit approval, okay?"

"That'll do. No need t' approve." That done, Amanda gave another of those awkward shrugs, the ones that meant she still had something on her mind, but didn't want to burden him with it even though she had to talk to someone. "I'll be off, leave you to it, then. Hope yer feelin' better - if yer havin' trouble sleepin', well... yeah."

Nathan managed not to roll his eyes. "What," he said patiently. "I know that look. What's up?"

"Nothin'," Amanda replied, but the tone spoke volumes. "Just... I dunno. I've been so busy with medlab an' Manny an' everythin', an' well... I missed you. But after that post you did, I don't want t' bother you."

Nathan gave her a sheepish look. "Don't let my attention-seeking antics discourage you from dumping on me," he said with a flicker of bleak humor.

"Yeah, well, I hate most of the people here sometimes too," she said with an answering flash of wry grin. "Some more n' others."

"Besides. Your head's all quiet. It's really very refreshing. Sit down?" He gave her the closest approximation he could manage to the puppy-dog eyes, at this point. "What's wrong?"

She came and sit down beside him. "Just tired, I s'pose," she said. "I've been Healin' Manny every day this week, an' then workin' in the medlab an' tryin' t' keep up with classes..." She pulled a face. "Nice t' know I healed Manny up all right so he can go an' give Lee a fuckin' birthday present."

Oh, boy. "You've been running yourself ragged," Nathan said softly. He reached out and patted her knee. "I'd be surprised if your nerves aren't raw. Have you talked to him about this?"

"Not yet - only just saw the post. An' I can't stop him. One of the reasons I'm so tired is I've been the only one lookin' out for him up until a few days ago, an' I can't complain if he has friends." Amanda leaned her head tiredly against his shoulder. "Even ones who nearly get him bloody well killed."

"How does he feel about that? About Jubilee's role in what happened, I mean." He was giving her relationship counselling. Oh dear God. Somewhere along the line, he'd misplaced his sanity again. "I can't imagine he was impressed," he went on softly, keeping his voice level, smooth. "It's not only what happened to him, but what almost happened to you... you're his linkmate, Amanda. Jubilee may be his friend, but he nearly lost you."

"He wasn't. Threatened horrible vengeance if she did it on purpose." Amanda shook her head. "I actually stood up for her, told him she was just bein' stupid. Mainly 'cause I don't want t' see him usin' his powers like that, an' he needs t' know." She sighed. "He's actually tryin' t' give up all that shite, just needs a nudge now an' then. But I don't know what's goin' on with them. Don't want t' know, even if it's hard t' avoid the flirtin' in her journal."

"Amanda..." Nathan sighed, rubbing at his forehead for a moment. "I'm going to say it again. You have not picked the easiest road to follow, having an open relationship when you've got a link." He paused, giving her a suddenly intent look. "Do you still feel threatened by her?" he asked.

"Not that way. I know Manny loves me. It's just..." Amanda frowned. "She seems t' think she can make this big public post about how bad she did, an' then everythin' will be all right. Manny nearly died 'cause of her. I don't care 'bout what happened t' me, but I felt what happened to him through the link, all of it. I can't just ignore that. An' I'm worried she'll do somethin' just as stupid again an' this time I won't be there t' put him back together."

Nathan took a deep breath, and gave her a half-amused, half-wary look. "What if I told you I was working on that?"

"What, yer kickin' the stupid out of her?" Amanda asked hopefully.

"Not kicking. Uhh... training. Hopefully." He gave her as severe a look as he could muster. "No details. In fact, forget I told you about this entirely. I just..." He stopped, shrugged. "Jubilee's been at the root of enough of your problems that I figured you deserved to know that someone was trying to help her mend her ways."

"I suppose I should be glad someone's teachin' her sense, but..." Amanda frowned. "Does it have t' be you? After all that with Manuel, I would've thought yer'd had yer fill of tryin' t' fix things."

Nathan sighed. "She came to me. If I'd turned her away, it would have just reinforced her idea that she needs to handle things on her own and doesn't need any help."

"I s'pose..." Amanda said reluctantly. Damn logic. "I'm sorry, Nate. Seems like yer always cleanin' up my messes. If I hadn't jumped down her throat that first night, none of this would have happened."

"Funny," Nathan murmured dryly. "She counts having jumped down your throat that first night as one of the biggest mistakes she's made this year." Okay. So maybe a little in the way of details.

"Yeah, well, people keep pointin' out how similar we are," Amanda said dryly. She paused, then added. "Nate, that night, with the demon... it was throwin' me name around. Someone's already told me they understood what it was sayin', least that part. If Lee knows..." She swallowed. "She'd be able t' do anythin' she like with me."

"I'm not going to let that happen," Nathan said, quietly but firmly. "None of us will." He slid an arm around her shoulders.

"How?" she asked. "Sure, Patches is taken care of, but what's t' stop her if she decides she takes exception t' me again? She's stupid enough t' think it ain't much, but..." Amanda shook her head. "It's my name Nate. Fuck, I never even told Manny it before that night."

"Amanda..." Nathan trailed off, biting his lip. "There's a lot to stop her," he said, very softly. "If she took it into her head to do that. Pete and I, for one."

"Only if she knew what she was bloody doing before she did it." Amanda shrugged again. "She doesn't think, she just reacts, an' then pulls that karma bullshit so people feel sorry for her. Doesn't help me in the meantime. Or Manny. An' I can't even say anythin' to her, since I don't _know_ she has me name. If I told her about it, that'd be givin' her me name on a bloody silver platter."

Nathan considered the problem for a minute. "Do you..." He trailed off, grimacing a bit. "I can't believe I'm saying this, after the last couple of days... but when I meet with her. She's so damned loud, telepathically speaking. If I... say, found an excuse to grill her on that night... well, she'd be shouting her thoughts and memories out at me as if she were yelling in my ear. I could maybe figure out whether or not she knows it."

"Yer'd do that?" Amanda caught herself. "Of course you would." She hung her head a little. "If it weren't so bloody important, I'd tell you not t' strain yerself. Listenin' t' Lee's head can't be the most restful thing." She looked up at him. "I'll make it up t' you."

"I'm seeing her tomorrow," Nathan said wryly. "We'll see what we can do. This is more than borderline unethical, you know... but it's a tricky problem."

"You can't help it if she shouts at the top of her brain, can you" Amanda suggested, giving his arm a hug. "It'll be a load off me mind, tho'. Well, one less thing."

"Charles would probably not see it that way," Nathan pointed out, but then sighed. "It's an old trick, you know," he said a bit unhappily. "All in how you direct the questions... usually I would simultaneously be breaking bones, of course."

Amanda winced. "I shouldn't have said," she said unhappily. "Not if it's gunna get you into trouble. Or make you feel bad."

"It's going to potentially avert future trouble," Nathan said finally, after giving it a moment's more thought. "Without you borrowing any by trying to figure it out yourself. I think it's worth doing."

"Trust me, I wasn't plannin' on havin' a heart t' heart with her any time soon," she said, still looking unhappy. Nate didn't need this.

"Hey," he said softly. "Don't get that look. This is what I'm here for, remember?" He couldn't help a smile. "To make your life easier?"

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Seems t' me you should be concentratin' more on Moira. She's lookin' peaky."

The bitter smile slipped out before he could help it. "Peaky? You don't say. Peaky, grumpy, thoroughly overworked, and completely unable to leave it all behind until things settle down a little more. I tried." He drew back a little, trying for a lighter tone. " I can hardly throw her over my shoulder and hop a plane for Muir. Tempting as the thought is."

"Why not?" Amanda asked. "Fuck, the whole bloody medlab staff need time off - with the blue fuzzball back, I reckon there's time for the doctors t' have their turn."

"She didn't tell me no flat-out," Nathan said with a sigh. "Just not now. I'll keep trying." His smile this time was less bitter, but still tight. "Hell, if she keeps digging in her heels I'll sic Charles on her."

Amanda grinned. "Oh, I like that idea. Bring in the big guns. I've been tryin' t' keep an eye on her down there, but she's hard t' pin down..." The girl frowned. "Too bad it's unethical of me t' dope her tea with sleeping potion."

"She's going to have to start taking better care of herself," Nathan muttered a bit dimly. "But she'll see that..."