Log [Alison, Sam] Somebody to lean on...

[x-dazzler.livejournal.com]

When: November 4th (a day after Lorna moved out of the suite she shared with Alison)
Where: X-Men Briefing Room
Who: Alison, Sam

Backdated log, set before Sound & Fury. They talk about Al's new status as a team leader and Sam is the first to ask her outright about what happened with Lorna...



Sam yawned and stretched.  He wasn't all that crazy about writing mission reports, but it usually fell to him as Cyclops' second to write them.  The Mistra rescue had not been an official X-Men mission, and he rather suspected that Cable or Pete had already stuck something in a file, but Sam wanted to have his own impressions from the mission on file in case Cyclops wanted to reference them.

The 'war room' as they called it wasn't empty when Alison walked inside, deep in thought. It took her a moment to spot Sam though, mainly because she'd headed directly for one of the terminals right away with a rather intent expression. "Oh! Hey Sam... working on a report?" The email could wait a bit, she decided, taking up a chair at the main table instead.

Alison's soft voice caused Sam to look up slowly with a smile.  "Hi, Al," he drawled softly.  "Yeah, just puttin' down some of my thoughts from that Mistra rescue we brought back Kyle from, so Cyclops can have them if he wants."  He paused with a sly grin.  "As well as the other team leaders..."

The reference went over her head completely at first, Alison's eyes falling on the report intently. "I'll want that, actually." It was that much more information, although why it seemed to important to have Alison. It was a gut reflex 'mine' thing she hadn't quite questioned yet. "And - you're being smug, aren't you?|

"Who, li'l ol' me?" Sam drawled even further, trying his best to look like some ignorant yokel who just fell off the turnip truck.  The effect was rather ruined by a fit of snickering, though, and he smiled.  "Maybe just a touch," he admitted.  "But Ah think you're the best for the job."

Gah. Everyone kept saying that. It was unnerving. Only Pete had and if she knew anyone to be unbiased enough to rip into her about it if he thought she wasn't suited for this, it was Pete, above anyone else. "I - thank you." Making a grab for his report and running for it would be awfully rude. Phooey.

He could see Alison was feeling a bit unnerved and embarassed by her newfound position, so Sam smiled reassuringly.  "Serious, Al, Ah wouldn't have told Cyclops that Ah thought you'd do a good job if Ah didn't think you would.  Sure, you're my best friend, but that doesn't have anything to do with me thinkin' you'd be a good team leader."

Breathe in, breathe out. Team leaders didn't run off while flailing their arms when people said things like that, even though she'd be willing to bet either Ororo or Scott had contemplated it at least once in their lives. Or maybe not. Gah. "Thank you." Alison took a deep breath and smiled at him. "Really. It'll take some getting used to, but who am I to argue with, well... everyone else?"

"Exactly.  We all know you pretty well by now, Al, so trust us a bit? Ah mean, would this ol' country boy steer you wrong?"  Sam smiled gently.

She couldn't help but smile in response to that line, giving him something of a wry look the second afterwards. "No, I'm sure you wouldn't." Alison was perfectly capable of doing that on her own, really. She glanced down the table at the chair Lorna usually favored and her expression fell a bit.

Noticing the direction of Alison's gaze, Sam's smile slowly faded. "Ah've been meanin' to ask how you've been holdin' up since Lorna moved out," he said quietly, his concern for Alison's well-being evident.  "It's none of my business why, but Ah worry about you sometimes."

Well. Sam was the first person to ask outright about what was going on there. Alison supposed some had assumed it was just Lorna moving in with Alex, at that - it hadn't taken long. It was a good thing too, once that made Alison happy for her friend. "It's so damn quiet in the suite." Alison blinked and looked at the table top a moment before slumping into one of the chairs. Yep, she'd blurted that out all right.

Nodding slowly, Sam turned from his monitor to face Alison, moving closer but staying outside of her personal space.  "You miss her," he said, clearly a statement rather than a question.  Lorna hadn't been all that forthcoming about her move, as far as Sam knew, and Alison's slumped shoulders suggested she wasn't taking it all that well.

A low mutter and Alison drew her legs up, curling up on the chair with a heavy sigh. "Yeah. I don't blame her for being angry at me but... I wish it hadn't turned out that way. And not for those reasons. S'all." She offered him a wan smile, not able to go into the details - it wasn't for her to tell, after all. "She had every right to be upset though. Every right."

The curling up in the chair was probably not a good sign, but Sam restrained himself to smiling reassuringly and reaching out to pat Alison's forearm gently.  "It's not my place to ask about specifics, but Ah can see it's eatin' you up, and Ah worry about you sometimes, Al.  Is there anything Ah can do to help?" he asked softly.

"No." Alison shook her head, a helpless little laugh escaping her. "I made my bed with that one. I'll just have to lie in it." And the straightened a bit, giving him a sheepish smile. "Well. Listening helps. Even if I have to be all vague and cryptic at you about it."

"Nothing wrong with that, Al," Sam replied.  "You tell me whatever you think Ah have a right to know, and be just as vague as you like about the rest.  You're my friend, and Ah'm your friend, the least Ah can do is be here to listen when you need it."

"She feels like I betrayed our friendship." Alison looked at the table, as though there were something of great interest to observe on the smooth surface. "And I can't blame her for it. In her place I'd have probably felt the same. There was just... something I had to do."

Sam pursed his lips in thought.  He hadn't realized that the situation between Alison and Lorna had been so bad.  He hadn't even been sure it wasn't just Lorna moving out to be with Alex originally.  But thinking back over the way Lorna and Alison had been avoiding each other as much as possible, and the awkward silences when they were in the same area, Sam realized that it was that bad.  "That's rough, Al," he said.  "You sure you're holdin' up okay?  And you're sure Ah can't help with anything?"

"I'm just going to...stay out of her way, I guess." Lorna having to move out of the suite to get far away from her had been a clear enough message, really. And then some. Alison took a shallow breath, determinedly trying to steer away fromt hat line of thought before she cried again -she'd done enough of that since Monday and it wasn't helping anything anyway. "Missions are another story, but I think we'll both manage that." In a painfully polite way probably, but what could she do about it?

"Well, if you think of anything Ah can do, you let me know, okay?" Sam asked gently.  And with that, he decided it was probably best to let it drop, as he could tell Alison was struggling hard not to lose control of her emotions.  And speaking of keeping emotions under control...  "How are things with you and Haroun?" he asked neutrally, working hard at not grinding his teeth together.

"I will. Thank you, Sam." Alison smiled at him gratefully, hugging herself as she leaned back in the chair. The next question surprised her just a bit and her eyes focused on him, although her smile didn't waver much. "Things are good." She was trying to keep it simple of course, all things taken into consideration, but there was still a softening of her expression which spoke volumes.

It had been the polite thing to do, and a good way to change the subject from Lorna, but Sam thought that sometimes he was too noble for his own good.  Not to mention often a day late and a dollar short from not wanting to do or say things too hastily.  He quirked a half-smile.  "Just so long as he's makin' you happy," he said, guessing from the softened expression that there were no real worries on that score.

There were times where people could be read like an open book and others where you could only wonder what they could possibly be thinking - this was one of the latter, Alison reflected, refusing to let things become uncomfortable if it killed her in the process. So instead she just smiled at Sam, hoping he could see how much he still meant to her, even if things weren't as they had been before and they were friends now - no more, but certainly no less.

He could see how much he still meant to her, but it didn't help Sam's lingering sadness at having messed up a good thing once and then been too slow at trying to get it back the second time. The half-smile remained on his face, though there was maybe a wry sort of tilt to it if one looked close.  He gently patted Alison's hand reassuringly again.

He had that look again, the one she'd been seeing on and off lately - she wasn't sure she wanted to understand it, really. There was something about it that made her feel as though there was far more than she knew going on and that she'd missed a very important point somewhere along the line. She looked down at his hand over hers and just smiled a bit, catching it briefly in her own before rising to her feet once more, letting it go. "I should go catch up on the reports that were filed not long ago. And then some. Scott will probably run tests on them later or something."

"Sounds about right," Sam chuckled.  "Why do you think Ah'm down here writing up a report on a mission that wasn't even a proper X-Men mission?  It's because if Ah didn't, Ah'd never hear the end of it from Scott."  He grinned.  "So you go on and catch up, and if you have any questions about any reports Ah've written, feel free to come find me.  And try not to fret too much about Lorna," he advised, tone getting a bit more serious.  "Hopefully she'll come around sooner than later.  Ah don't imagine she's stopped carin' about you just because she feels a little betrayed."

"I'll try not to leave files with post-notes on 'em all over the place with too many questions," she promised, looking a bit sheepish - that was what she usually did when songwriting, which Sam would know only too well. "I - I'm sure she hasn't." Alison wasn't sure what to think of that aspect of things, and since staying out of Lorna's way seemed to suit the magnetokinetic best she wasn't sure she could reassure herself so. "It'll work out." Maybe it would. Somehow.

"Ah sure hope it does, Al," Sam replied.  "Ah'll be prayin' for you both."  While he may not have been quite as overt about it as Kurt, Sam took his faith very seriously, praying every night for his friends and family, especially the ones who were most in need.  And he rather thought Alison and Lorna were both in need, albeit in different ways. He shooed Alison gently toward the door.  "Go on, get.  Ah got writin' to do, and it's not gettin' done with you down here distractin' me." He grinned to take the edge off of the joking rebuke.