xp_logs | Cassidy Family Values

Via the power of the Wayback machine, we're back to November 8th directingly following these emails (yes, wrong journal, just ignore that) between Terry and Sean. Sean tracks Terry down and they have what probably can't be called a real Cassidy fight since there isn't any shouting. Doesn't mean anyone walks away less wounded.

Sean stared in horror at the computer screen. He knew she didn't like him, and he was beginning to be resigned to the idea that she never would, but how in the god's name could she think that? Had she really misunderstood him that badly? He started to type a reply, then gave up in disgust at himself. There were things you talked about over email, but this wasn't one of them.

After searching for a while, and only slightly out of breath, he found her in one of the computer labs.

"I don't understand." he said, without preamble. "I can just about believe that Tom'd convince you that I'd leave a stranger in trouble, or abandon someone I didn't like. I found out how much the bastard hates me, after all. But I can't understand, I just can't get my head round the idea that I'd leave yeh with monsters like that. Of all the people in the world, yez're the absolute last person I'd ever leave in danger." He ran his hands through his hair, obviously agitated. "I thought yeh were dead for years, for god's sake. D'yeh have any idea what that was like, thinking that I'd been robbed of yeh? D'yeh think I'd let anyone do it again, if there was breath in me to stop them, after I spend years thinking I'd've traded anything for the chance to have met yeh, even for a second?"

Terry recoiled first, automatically defense then shifted gears, shoving her chair back so she could stand. "I said forget it," she croaked. Her voice was ravaged from screaming and her throat was black and purple with bruises. She'd been told to speak only when it was strictly necessary and absolutely forbidden to sing or use her powers until cleared by the medstaff. She swallowed hard and started to gather up her books. "I don't want to fight about it."

Sean took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down a bit.

"I'm not here to fight with yeh. I'm really not. I just..." Another deep breath. "I just don't understand how yeh'd think that I'd've... That I'd..." He started again. "Look, I know I'm not what yeh want in a father. And I know yeh don't like me, and yeh probably never will. But yeh have to understand - the day I found out yeh were alive was just about the happiest of my life. And whether yeh like me or not, whether we talk or we fight or we don't talk, that fact that you're alive makes me happy. I'd never leave yeh in trouble."

Terry shook her head. "Even though I look like her?" Her, the mysterious mother she'd never known but whom both her uncle and father spoke of like she made the sun shine. Terry knew her resemblance to her mother was more that passing. "Isn't that why you don't like to be around me? Because I remind you of her?" Talking hurt. Talking about this hurt more.

"No!" Sean started to shake his head, then stopped. "Well, maybe at first. Yeh have to understand - I'd thought I'd put yeh both behind me, and then suddenly..." he trailed off, and leant on the desk, suddenly drained. "Yeh'd remind me of her if yeh looked like Mr Marko, yeh know. But yeh've made it more than clear that yeh don't want me around, so I've done my best to stay out of your way. That's all there is to it. It's got nothing to do with looking like your mother."

"I've always thought..." She changed her mind about whatever she was about to say and shrugged instead. "I don't know you. Never wanted to. Then you came and Uncle Tom went to jail." She shrugged again. "See?"

"Sure he deserved far wor-" Sean started to snap, but cut himself off and smiled wryly. "Let's not talk about your bloody uncle now. Neither one of us can do it without shouting, and I'd hate to take advantage of yeh not being able to shout at me properly. I just wanted yeh to understand, that's all. However yeh think of me, whatever yeh do, there's nothing on earth could make me leave yeh in trouble."

Terry clutched her books to her chest and shook her head, "Then I'm sorry for having misjudged you. Can I go now? I still have work to do." There was more weariness in her voice than there was sincerity. He kept saying he understood and that she didn't understand but she knew he didn't and wouldn't and for once she was sick of fighting about it. "I thought I should thank you and I did. I'm sorry it was upsetting."

"Aye, well..." Sean trailed off, his shoulders slumping slightly. "Aye, on yeh go." He stood aside to let her pass. "Yeh didn't need to thank me, but you're welcome, anyway."

Terry just nodded. "I'll see you around, Dad." She ducked her head as she passed him and hurried out the room. She hoped Clarice wasn't in their room. She didn't want to have to explain why she was so upset.