xp_logs | Kitty and Storm and Kitty's Issues

It was, Kitty felt, the sort of thing you made an appointment for. The kind of thing that office hours and scheduleing made easier. Less personal. Although, really, you can't get much more personal than 'Do you still think I should never be let within a ten mile radius of an X-man uniform?'

Not that she was going to ask it like that.

Hesitantly, Kitty reached up and knocked on the door to Storm's office, trying her best not to think about the last time she'd been in there, and quitely marveling that she had managed to avoid coming back here for so long. "Ms. Munroe? It's me, Kitty."

"Come in, Kitty." Ororo's warm voice called out from behind the door. "It's open." Her door was always open to any of the students, really, though not many chose to come see her that often unless it was about something specifically related to her classes. Kitty's email had intrigued her greatly, as a result.

She smiled as the girl slipped inside her office, closing the door carefully behind herself. "Have a seat." A pitcher of fresh water was fetched from the far table, glasses brought back with her on the tray as she laid that down on her desk. There were no papers on it - clearly, she'd meant for this to take as long as Kitty needed it to take.

Kitty hovered by the door for a second before entering the room proper and sitting in the proffered chair, brushing her hair back from her face nervosly. "Um, thank you for... well, thanks for seeing me. It... I... I guess it's kind of stupid, but... um..." Unable to finish the sentance, Kitty just sort of trailed off.

Ororo looked at Kitty pensively for a moment, a grave expression about her. "You asked to see me, Kitty. I did not think for a moment that it was about something... stupid." The girl was clearly uncomfortable though - perhaps not entirely without cause. Ororo sighed a little, and tried a cautious smile. Bridges to be mended needed fixing on both sides. "Would you feel more comfortable if we spoke in the greenhouse, Kitty?"

"No," Kitty said, shaking her head. "It's just... I was talking to Jamie, and I've been talking to Samson about it, too, and, um... No, let me say... I... I used to be sure of myself, you know? I mean, you would know if anyone did. I knew what I wanted and that I'd get it. But... um... Well, it's been a while since I've felt like I'd be able to do that. That I knew what I wanted, and that it was the right thing to want, and that I could do it, even if I knew..." She trailed off, again, looking down at the floor. It seemed like, when it was anything important, more often than not she'd end up speaking like this, in incomplete thoughts and hesitations.

Ororo was a patient woman, these days moreso than before. "Everyone has a moment in their lives where they stop and need to re-evaluate things, Kitty. To take stock of things." She smiled a bit, leaning back in her chair comfortably. "For some of us it happens sooner than for others. Do you now what, precisely, has caused you to doubt what you thought you knew and wanted?"

Kitty's eyes were fixed firmly on the floor when she answered, almost afraid to look up. "Someone I... someone I trusted and respected suggested it wasn't... it wasn't something I should want, and then turned out to be someone who was not deserving of my trust..." She still hesitated at suggesting that he wasn't worth her respect, and that tore her up a little. Taking a deep breath, she looked up and met Ororo's eyes as she continued. "And then you told me I'd never be allowed to do it, anyway."

Ororo stared blankly at Kitty for a moment. "I was... not quite myself at the time, Kitty." Her voice was low and she looked at the window, the sunlight streaming through warmly. "I am afraid I was... harsh with many people I cared for back then, when I should have been supportive instead." She laced her hands together in her lap, shadows lingering in her eyes for a moment before smiling warmly at the dark haired girl once more. "This is the place for second chances, is it not? Maybe we should... give each other a second chance?"

"But I had messed up. I don't... I didn't..." There really wasn't anyway to say that she felt like she hadn't earned a second chance without sounding like an angsty teenager so she trailed off and began again. "Can you... can you forgive me? For... for Essex and Warren and, just, everything?"

It wasn't, Ororo thought, the only forgiveness which Kitty needed - but if her words might help soothe the girl's worries, she would have no hesitation in offering them. "You've grown in the past year, Kitten." Rising to her feet, Ororo walked around the desk until she stood in front of it, leaning back agaisnt it slowly. "Growing up is about learning from our mistakes and I think you've had the chance and time to do that. This, above all else, is what matters to me." She reached out tucked a stray curl of hair
away from Kitty's face, smiling gently. "Can you promise me you will continue to learn?"

"It's what I want," Kitty said, nodding, biting her lip at the soft touch.

"Well then." Ororo leaned back on her desk, still smiling down at Kitty quietly. "I will promise you to do the same as well, and we shall see where it takes us from here, yes?"

"I think... yeah, that would be good." Relaxing slightly, Kitty finally leaned back into the chair. Sighing, she steeled herself. "Jamie... Jamie wants to be an X-Man, he thinks, and I don't know what I want but... Do you... do you think he... I... either of us could... could be?"

It was always one's wish to see the children one cared for live a life without the worries of one's own generation - but Ororo knew things were rarely that easy. "It is my dearest wish that you never need to truly find out, Kitty." The wistful look in her eyes faded, replaced by something else. "I think either of can be whatever you chose to be. And it will be a joy to see you walk down the path of your choice. Whichever path that may be."

That got a real smile out of Kitty at last. She might not know what she wanted, but she knew she'd have the support of the people she loved. "Thank you," she said. "Thank you so much."

Smiling softly, Ororo reached out, brushing Kitty's cheek lightly. "Thank you for coming to see me." For a moment, she felt far older than her years - but she shrugged it off, concentrating on the present moment.

"Any time," Kitty said, and finally she meant it. Whatever had been going on with Ororo before, things were better know, and Kitty could trust her again.