xp_logs | Amanda, Angelo - Friday morning, Amanda, Nate

Escape from medlab! Angelo helps Amanda back up to her room, and they talk about Jubilee and healing spells along the way.

"Hang on a minute - need t' catch me breath." Holding onto Angelo's arm, Amanda paused at the top of the second floor stairs. She ached all over, and the admittedly slow climb had winded her badly. Still, it was one flight further away from medlab, and that was a good thing.

Angelo stopped when she did, supporting her, then steered her over to the bench that was conveniently on the landing. "Here, sit down for a bit. No rush to get to the room, is there?"

"None except gettin' there before the docs decide t' change their minds," Amanda said, sinking down gratefully on the bench. "I can't believe they actually decided t' let me go."

"Well, I figure if you don't actually need to be under observation, there's no reason for 'em not to", Angelo said lightly, sitting down next to her. "An' they must know how much you hate bein' stuck down there - could be they figure you'll recover better bein' somewhere you like."

"Think I made too much of a nuisance of meself the last couple of times," she said with a raspy chuckle that ended in a grimace. She reached over with her good hand for his. "Thanks for stayin' with me, Ange. 'Specially with Paige goin' off home an' all."

He squeezed her hand. "Not a problem - she'll only be gone a couple of days, so I'll live. 's been a while since she went back to see her folks, after all. An' anyway, I promised."

"So you two are talkin' again?" she asked, hopefully. Angelo certainly seemed a lot happier.

He smiled. "Yeah, we are. She came by my room about a week ago... we haven't actually talk talked yet, but it's not the right time. Gonna see how things go with Jono for the next little while before I break out the serious talk - an' I do know I have to, sooner or later. Talked to Dr. Bartlet about it a bit." He grinned wryly and added, "An' don't worry, it's not gonna include any more proposals. Just... there's stuff we do need to talk out."

"Oh good." It was a relief, that's for sure. Especially since she'd pretty much begged him to stay with her over the Thanksgiving holiday. "Yeah, no more proposals'd be a good thing. Don't think I've got it in me t' chase you up onto the roof again. 'Sides, Marko's locked it all up now, hasn't he?"

"Only after ten", he said teasingly, with a wry grin, before continuing more seriously, "I don't think I'd've done anythin'... permanent. Nothin' worse than the reason I got you to take my cigarettes away, anyway. But I'm glad you chased me up there anyway. Needed the company."

"Glad I did, then." She paused, then said, slowly. "It reminded me of that night, when you stopped me..." Weakly, she squeezed hand. "Couldn't let it happen."

He winced slightly, then nodded, squeezing her hand back. "I'm sorry I scared you like that."

"'S all right. 'Sides, I think we're even now, with me droppin' us back from the Hellfire Club nearly in yer lap." Taking a breath, she looked down the hall. "Right, think I'm ready for the next haul. Help me up?"

He nodded and got to his feet, reaching for her good arm to help her up gently. "Who's been watchin' Frank for you while you were down there? Angie?"

"I think so - we tend t' look out for the pets since we're both on fucked-up schedules. Her with the not-sleepin', me with the medlab. She's been a bit odd lately, tho'. Sort of cranky. Guess the stress is gettin' to her." With a small grunt of effort and using Angelo's helping hand more than a little, she got to her feet. "Not that I've seen a lot of her with everythin' that's gone on."

Angelo pulled her up relatively easily, and let her take his arm again before they started to walk. "Yeah, things have been gettin' crazy again lately. Or maybe they never really stopped. Can't really blame her for bein' cranky - it's not like she's the only one."

"Well, at least she tends t' take it out on Lee when she is, which I can't find it in me t' argue with," Amanda said with more than a trace of cattiness.

Angelo chuckled wryly. "No, I can't say I mind seein' Jubilee gettin' chewed out right now either. You never know, maybe one of these days she'll actually learn somethin' from it."

"Well, she told Manuel she wouldn't fuck him any more, so there's hope. Not much, but some." Amanda began to shrug, but it hurt too much. "She seems t' think if she makes this big song an' dance 'bout how bad she is an' how she's not sorry an' we should all kick her in the arse, it'll make things all right. An' that karma bullshite? Like t' give her a lesson in bloody karma - she should try havin' the threefold rule hangin' over her head every minute."

Angelo scowled. "I tried to tell her before Thanksgivin', she should just suck it up an' let those claw marks of hers heal naturally now they're not life-threatenin', 'stead of whinin' about you not healin' her, if she was so into karma. It's not like we'd be throwin' her out in the wilderness without any treatment at all, there's a perfectly good medlab an' doctors to see to her even without the magic. But I don't think she liked that idea."

"See, her version only works when it's all about the public show. But when there's somethin' important, like takin' me boyfriend out to a nightclub, well, it don't count, does it? Save yer breath, Ange, 's like arguin' with a brick wall. Trust me, I know that by now." Amanda snorted a little in amusement. "One good thing out of all this - no way I can heal her this week."

Angelo chuckled. "No, an' if she says one word of complainin' about it, she'll have me, probably Angie, an' the medstaff down on her head like a ton of bricks. She was actually sulkin' about you not havin' enough power to see to her 'cause you were healin' Nathan an' Manuel, last week."

"Yeah, I saw. Wanted t' say somethin', only I'd already got pulled up by Bartlet, so I couldn't. Still, she did apologise later - Bartlet, that is, not Lee. It made me wild, tho', seein' her whine 'bout her shoulder when I'd been bleedin' meself dry gettin' Manuel into a shape where he could actually dress himself." She glanced at him. "If she'd wanted it for anythin' else other than that birthday outin' of hers, I would've done it, you know. But it was just too much. And then I didn't have much choice about it in the long run - Nate took whatever I had left."

Angelo nodded. "Yeah, I know. An' if it'd been anythin' other than those cuts, what with how an' why she got them, she'd've had much more right to you healin' her anyway. But I don't think she really understood your magic doesn't come on tap."

"'S funny - there she was in Asgard, doin' the magic thing, an' she didn't learn shite. Tho' dark elf magic probably weren't exactly a good example. An' Lee's a slow learner. Like a ferret on speed - her attention's all over the place." Oh good, there was her door. This walking business was getting old, fast. "One thing, tho' - doesn't matter what the injury was, or how she got it. If I'd had it in me, I would've healed it." She gave Angelo a look. "She did kill that demon. Sure she was how it got summoned, but if she hadn't stuck herself in the firin' line an' got hurt, more people would've got hurt."

Angelo nodded, reaching with his free hand to open the door. "I never said she was a coward. Once she figured out she was the only one that could hurt it, that even Illyana's magic sword did nothin'... well, if she hadn't done somethin' about it then..." He shrugged.

"An' that's why I would've healed her without her goin' on her whinge trip," Amanda said, manoeuvring her way inside the suite. There was a pile of dirty dishes in the kitchenette sink, and she wrinkled her nose. "Still might, if she needs it when I'm recharged again. But I didn't say that."

Angelo glanced at her with a slight frown. "Define "needs". They're not gonna kill her, an' the doctors'll see that they won't get infected. Way they are now, they're nothin' but an inconvenience an' maybe a little bit of pain."

"Enough healin' so they won't get her or anyone else killed the next time somethin' happens?" Amanda replied with a humourless grin. "If she's still got the stitches in next week, I'll do enough t' take 'em out. Maybe enough t' not leave a scar, if I'm feelin' generous."

Angelo shrugged. "Well, that makes sense, I guess. 's your call, anyway."

"It is." There was something hard in Amanda's voice, a flickering of her expression. THen it passed, and she dropped into a controlled fall onto the bed. "Uff, that's better."

He didn't completely release his grip until she'd fallen safely. "You wanna try an' get some sleep or whatever now, or should I stick around a bit?"

"Stay until I fall asleep?" she asked, sounding very young. She gave him a faint smile. "'S easier when yer there."

He smiled back, settling comfortably on the edge of the bed and reaching for her hand again. "'Course I will."

Following her release from medlab, Nathan tracks Amanda down on the back porch. There's talk of doing what you have to, and dealing with the consequences afterwards.

It was cold, and the air made her face ache, but it felt good any way, after being shut up in medlab yet again. Amanda carefully pulled a cigarette from the pack in her hands, balancing it between swollen lips as she tried to get a flame going from her lighter. Impossible, given the fact someone seemed to have stomped on her fingers at some point. Muttering a word, she cast the fire spell, ignoring the black edge to the small flame that erupted from her finger.

"I would nag at you about catching a chill," Nathan murmured from the doorway, "but I think you've probably had enough fussing." He came out to join her, for the first time not even giving her cigarette a disapproving look. Instead, he stared out at the ground, his gaze distant, as if he was seeing something else besides the barren trees and dull grayness of the sky.

The first drag of the cigarette made her cough, and the coughing hurt. Giving it a disgruntled look, she stubbed it out, bending painfully to drop the butt in the sand bucket. "Needed some air," she said. "Tho' looks like I'm done with smokin' for a bit, 'least 'til I heal up some more."

"Your lungs will thank you for the break." It still hurt to look at her. But he kept his expression calm and his voice quiet as he went on. "I should have thought to look out here first, I suppose. Hit a few of your other spots beforehand, though."

"Stables're too far, an' the roof's too hard t' get to," she said. "An' Manny don't need me hoverin' like a mother hen all the time - he needs some space t' figure out stuff. I'll check on him later, tho'." She gave him a tired smile. "Glad you came lookin'. Nice t' see you away from that bloody medlab."

"Nice to see you away from that bloody medlab," he said a bit dryly. "I mean, I know we've had some of our finest moments down there, but still. It does grow tedious after a while." He leaned on the rail, his gaze moving back out to the grounds. "How are you feeling?"

"Like someone used me as a punching bag?" she offered, leaning back in her seat carefully. "I'll live. Just wish I could remember more of what happened."

"Memory gaps are not always bad things," Nathan told her, an echo of bleak experience in his voice. "As frustrating as this one may be right now."

"I know, 's just..." She gestured painfully at her bruised face. "Don't like not knowin' what was done t' me. An' if I knew what happened, I'd be able t' help Manny more."

He turned around to face her, still leaning against the rail. "I know," he said quietly. "But if the memories haven't come back by now, they're not liable to." He was being singularly uncomforting. He really needed to work on that.

She nodded, carefully. "I figured that," she said quietly, with a sigh. "No point torturin' meself about it. Won't help me, won't help Manny..." She gave him an imploring look. "'S gunna hurt, but can I have a hug any way?"

A very odd noise, quiet and strained, pained and yet utterly furious at the same time, escaped Nathan before he could help himself. Before she could react to it, he had knelt down in front of her and enfolded her in his arms as gently as he could.

It hurt, but she didn't care. Holding onto his coat front as best she could, she clung to him, not crying, but taking comfort in his presence, in the strength there. Letting it all go, just for a while. "I hurt Manny," she admitted. "Takin' his body like that, usin' it for Rack's drainin' spell... I knew it would hurt him an' I did it any way. 'Cause I had to."

"You were backed into a corner," Nathan murmured. A corner they should never have been in, either of them. Damn Frost anyway. "You took the only way out of there for the two of you that you could find."

"It felt..." Amanda swallowed, made herself go on. "It felt good, that spell. Rack's spell. Made me feel strong, powerful..." She shuddered a little. "I enjoyed it."

"Listen to me," Nathan said, drawing back a little so that he could look her in the eyes, but not letting her go. "Listen," he repeated, his voice soft but forceful. "It wasn't the spell that felt good. It was what you did with it, using it against someone who was hurting you, hurting your linkmate."

She nodded, reluctantly. She couldn't explain the sensation of all that power thrumming through her, the things she'd been able to do with it. The dreams she'd been having since, the feeling that something was missing, out of balance...

There was more she wasn't telling him. He could sense that much. His jaw clenched, he shook his head and let her lean against him again. "Is there anything you need to do?" he asked, his voice still low, but rough with emotion. "After draining her like that..."

"Strange is comin', I'm sure he'll tell me. With lots of lectures on the balance of things an' doin' things I shouldn't." Amanda straightened a little, but didn't let go of him just yet. "There'll be a cleansin' ritual, probably. More dunkin' in the lake, yay."

"Like you need lec--" Nathan started heatedly, but then bit his tongue, hard, and smiled a little sheepishly. "I need to remember that I know nothing about magic and keep my mouth shut, I suppose."

"Well, the lectures ain't part of it, usually, but Strange can't seem t' help himself. He means well enough, I s'pose." Amanda winced, and leaned back again as the bruises made themselves felt. "I can handle it. All of it." She didn't have to say it, but concern for Manuel was foremost in her mind. I have to.

Nathan leaned away, but didn't rise, his eyes fixed on her face. "I'm not worried about whether or not you can handle it," he said quietly. "I just... wish there was something I could do to help."

"You do help." She reached out and touched his face gently. "You don't mind if I ain't together all the time. I don't have t' be strong all the time with you."

He tried to smile. Wouldn't quite come. "~Weakness or strength is not as simple a distinction as this time would have it,~" he told her. "~It takes as much strength to rely on someone else's.~"

"~I don't feel very strong... right now,~" she replied, drawing her hand back, showing him how it was trembling.

He took her hand between his, gently, as if it and she were made of glass. "~You need to rest and heal,~" he said. "~That would be the first step.~"

"Never was one for stickin' t' the steps." Another faint smile, but stronger this time. "You'll help me?" she asked. "With... everythin'?"

"I thought we had long since established that anything you ask me that I can do, I will do," Nathan said with a ghost of a smile. "And given that I don't do well at acknowledging that there's anything I can't do..."

She nodded. "Manuel," she said softly. "He's gunna need so much help - he doesn't remember much at all. Barely remembers me, an' that's just 'cause I kept those memories for him..." Her voice shook, remembering that part, how desperate she'd been. "I need help with him."

Nathan nodded, not letting go of her hand. "What do you think I can to help?" he asked calmly.

"Talk t' him? Give him..." She shrugged helplessly. "A second chance? He's not who he was. An' he's confused, doesn't know so much, an' I can't keep an eye on him all the time. 'Specially not now, with all this..."

Nathan tilted his head at her, unable to help a brief, wry smile. "You really didn't think I wouldn't do that." It wasn't a question. "You don't even need to ask," he said more quietly. "I never gave up on him, Amanda. Not entirely. And now..."

"Well, not really. It's just you two..." Amanda shrugged, carefully. "I never thought you gave up, just the two of you never got on..." She smiled a little wryly. "I'm bein' stupid."

"Don't do that," Nathan told her severely, though his tone was probably ruined by the faint smile. "You asked. I answered. I'm not about to avoid Manuel as if the memory loss is contagious or something..."

"Good." She shivered a little in the chill. "I worry, is all. You know that. An'..." Her look became a little sad. "I sort of miss him. He remembers me, but it's not the same."

Nathan's jaw tightened as that sense of inner tension he'd been nursing since this had happened vanished into an endless sort of ache. "I'm so sorry," he said, his voice barely audible. He couldn't even imagine. A broken link was one thing, but to have the mind at the other end of your link hollowed out like that... "So sorry."

"'S not yer fault, Nate. Yer've got nothin' t' be sorry about." Her voice trembled 'though. "'S that place, that bloody Club... I knew one day it'd take him away from me, an' it has..." She took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to rein herself in. "We'll sort it out. Just have t' start all over again, is all. Re-introduce meself."

"He's alive," Nathan said a bit hoarsely, still holding her hand. "There's someplace to start, at least. Don't... I know it's going to be hard. Don't forget that I'm here if you need me." He looked up at her, and for a moment a very old pain was back in his eyes. "Is your link gone completely?"

She shook her head. "It's still there. I'm keepin' it goin' with what Strange taught me. 'S how I got what memories he's got back t' him," she explained, and a hint of pride crossed her face. "Strange'll be glad of that, at least."

"Does it help balance?" Nathan asked after a moment. "I don't know... your three-fold rule, does it apply in situations like this?"

"I don't know. Hope so." She shivered again. "'S gettin' cold. Help me back inside? Think I overdid it for the first day."

Nathan rose, carefully helping her to her feet. "I'd offer to carry you," he said with a faint, sad smile, "but I have this sneaking suspicion you'd prefer to be on your own two feet."

"You know me way too well," she said with a grin, leaning heavily on his arm.

Current Mood: broken

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

x-jubilee.livejournal.com

Jubilee is currently whinging in my head that no one understands her. ;)

From:

xp_daytripper

What do you expect when you're a mood-swinging psycho hosebeast? ;)

From:

x-jubilee.livejournal.com

*laughs* She is going to get better! Cause otherwise I'm going to have to throw her in the lake myself.

From:

x-havok.livejournal.com

If someone tells Alex waht happened when he comes back from CA with Lorna, he'll be down there in a heart beat to help both Amanda and Manuel anyway he can. As long as no one mentions the draining spell that is... ;D