Haroun and Alison - Just What Do You Think You're Doing, Mister?

[x-jetstream.livejournal.com]

Haroun's somewhat concussed and on loopy painkillers. So, naturally, Alison decides that she needs to have a few words with him. They mostly talk past one another.



The talk with Nathan on Muir, and then the one just outside the medlab, while waiting for news on Haroun - both combining to point out to Alison that she had been avoiding doing something she should have done far sooner than this. But since both Nathan and Haroun were firmly in 'I suck woe' mode, Alison had decided to defer her own funk until later. Because everyone moping about would be ridiculous, plain and simple.

Of course, this meant tackling certain things head on, before being allowed her own private time of sulking around and kicking things. Or something like that, she thought vaguely, eyeing the unmoving form on the bed in front of her silently. Being flippant about this in the privacy of her own mind was one thing. It wouldn't be suitable for the conversation to come though.

Haroun struggled back towards consciousness. On the plus side, his head merely hurt and didn't feel like he was being trepanned with a soup spoon. On the minus side, there appeared to be an Alison standing next to his bed, and she looked quite unamused with him. "Go ahead, yell at me." he told her. "I probably deserve it."

Even if she had been planning on yelling, that would have taken the wind out of her sails quickly enough. Instead she sighed and sat down on the chair next to the bed, leaning on the side to look down at him. "Don't particularly want to yell at you. I'd rather talk, really."

"So talk. I'm not going anywhere for a while. Can't promise I'll stay awake for all of it - head hurts, painkillers wear me out." he said. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"I looked over the programs you had in for today, the new ones as well as what had already been logged and went over the files." Of course, she already had been given fairly broad information on what the 'issue' was. "Explain the logic of it to me."

"It's pretty simple." he said tiredly. "Trying to find a way to make myself more effective in a scrap." he said. "No offense, no defense, just mobility and speed." he elaborated. "Gotta be some way to use 'em effectively."

On that, Alison agreed - though she wasn't sure it was the same king of effective they had in mind. "Pushing too hard in training defeats the purpose of training at all." There wasn't any blame in her voice, and she let one hand fall to the bed, tracing a pattern in the white and crisp sheet. "You had too sessions scheduled one after the other that normally get a rest day between them."

Haroun smirked faintly. "I took a rest period. Nathan had the slot between." he said quietly. "Besides, if something was going to hit us here I'd just slow you all down anyway." he admitted tiredly. "I could lift you out if you got hurt, or drop you off to a specific spot, but that's about it."

That was hardly acceptable as rest pauses went and the flat look she gave him made that clear. Shaking her head, she addressed the other issue. "Aerial reconnaissance, tactics, battlefield overview, ground hand to hand and data stream-" Alison paused and sighed. "There are a lot of things you can do and that's not even trying to sit down and list them all. They don't involve dropping mountains on anyone's head, no, but it doesn't make you any less valuable a member of the teams than anyone else. And dropping mountains on people's head, for all that looks flashy, isn't really what we want to do."

Haroun sighed. "I don't want to just be a taxi driver or a scout." he admitted, coming down to the core of things. "I can do more, be better." he added with an obvious effort. He had a Thought, something that floated just out of reach, but he hurt too badly to go chasing after it.

"There is always more we can do. Regardless of our powers." Blunt it would be. "Pushing too hard by training the way you are now isn't it. That's burning yourself out and neglecting the assets you do have. Which are considerable." And damn it, she needed them. She didn't have the field experience he did, the practical knowledge. The only thing that had kept her from panicking outright at being elected a team leader was knowing someone with experience would be there to help her. She was learning but not fast enough and someone on the command team had to have the know-how - and it was him.

Haroun blinked at Alison. "My assets are considerable?" he said incredulously. "I am not up for having this conversation right now. My head hurts." he complained. "And you don't have to be so pissed-off at me right now."

She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth, because it wasn't so much about being pissed off at him rather than being generally frustrated with the entire situation and her inability to get through to him. Some team leader she was. And damn it, she wasn't doing that now. Later, maybe, but not now. Because not talking to him earlier about this was one thing and not getting across to him was another, but he was the one making the decision to run himself ragged and that was entirely in his lap. "You're right. I shouldn't have done this while you're still recovering from the concussion." It came out stiffer than she'd meant it to, but she wasn't happy about that particular aspect of things at all. Along with the rest. "But there won't be double sessions like that again and we will talk about this in depth later."

Haroun sighed. "Fine." he said. "You're the CO." He rallied for a bit, clearly wanting to say more, but the concussion was dragging him back down towards oblivion. "Just wanted to be more. Useful. Powerful. Strong." he said slowly. "Failed."

Don't take the concussed man's words personally, Alison told herself, ignoring the CO comment - if that's how it was going to be for now, fine. But it raised another issue and one she liked even less. Being sidelined had kept them from working as a command team. That couldn't go on much longer if they were going to be effective. "We both failed." It came out too flatly but she couldn't help it. And he shouldn't be unsupervised or sleeping too long with a concussion, at that. "I'll go get Madelyn. We'll talk in a few days, when you're feeling better."

"I train me! ME!" he said, then lolled his head back as fire exploded in his brain. "Ow." he said intelligently. "Be back on my feet in a few days. I heal fast." he said after a few moments. "Need to look into bone lacing..." he muttered.

"We're a command team," she replied, putting her thoughts into words for him, her voice low but firm. "And now you will rest or else you won't heal fast at all." There was a faint chill at the mention of bone lacing, something stirring in protest within but she ignored it, ruthlessly. Not now.

"I hear and obey." he said quietly before following orders and letting the painkiller meds claim him.