Hank, Nathan, Tuesday Morning

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After his epiphany in the Danger Room, Nathan is bundled off to the Medlab. Hank looks after him, tries to reassure him, startles him a bit, and then gives him what he needs most of all right now.



How could he not have seen it?

How could I not see?

Nathan swallowed, staring up blindly at the oh-so-familiar patterns of the medlab ceiling. They weren't going to keep him, Hank had reassured him; once the X-rays of his ribs had been properly looked over, he would be free to go back to his rooms and get some rest. He should have been delighted to hear that. But his head was still spinning.

How could I not have seen? Shame surfaced amid the shock and confusion, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep his breathing level and shallow. So... petty and dysfunctional in the end, the truth.

"Nathan?" Hank was careful not to touch him until he was sure the man knew he was there. He'd been through enough today without having people sneak up on him. "I'm going to need to wrap that rib, but after that you're all right to leave, if you want to." He touched Nathan's shoulder lightly. "Are you all right?" Not just physically, either, a distinction he hoped Nathan would pick up on. With Moira away, he should keep an eye on her fiance... he knew she'd want him to.

Nathan shuddered at the hesitant touch on his shoulder, even knowing it was coming. "Fine... I'm fine," he muttered weakly, wincing as he pushed himself upright and trying not to hunch over too noticeably at the pain in his chest. "I'm fine..." It seemed to be all he could actually say, as if the repetition would make it true, and Nathan rubbed at his eyes doggedly, looking away from Hank's concerned gaze.

"No, you aren't, but that's all right." Hank started taping the cracked rib with the efficiency of far too much practice. "I'm glad this is finally over... I do not like seeing you in here so often." He really hadn't liked that part of the plan, even if Alison might well be right in that it was the only way to get through to him.

"You knew... you all knew?" Of course they did. Even if they hadn't officially, it would have been painfully obvious to anyone with a brain and without his self-imposed blind spot. His vision blurring again, Nathan looked at the wall, the door, anything but at Hank himself.

"Of course... well, not everyone, but of course I knew. They had to consult with at least one of the doctors, and by elimination it had to be me. Madelyn would have chewed people's ears off at the mere notion of deliberately setting you up to get hurt, and Moira would have gotten out her shotgun." Hank added another layer of tape. "I didn't like it, and voiced that opinion very strongly, but agreed not to tattle to Moira if they made sure you were under medical supervision every step of the way."

"Not... setting me up to get hurt," Nathan forced the words out, his voice uneven with pain. "If I'd... seen, earlier. Engaged the brain, you know..."

"The point of the exercise, as I understand it, was to break through the conditioning placed upon you to prevent you from seeing that very thing," Hank said gently. "It wasn't that you weren't thinking, it was that you'd been painstakingly taught not to think about it."

Nathan found himself shaking his head suddenly. "Not just Mistra," he said miserably. "Can't blame it all on them... not just not wanting to fail, it's not wanting to be weak." He gave a cracked, lost-sounding laugh that made the pain in his chest flare a little more brightly. "You die if you're weak, and they leave you in the woods..."

"Nobody is going to leave you in the woods," Hank said firmly. "Not even if you want to be. Believe me... there was a time when I wanted very much to be left alone," with my stupidity, and my failure, he didn't say, remembering how badly he'd want to keep it secret from those whose good opinion he valued, "and I was hunted down and made to see how much my friends still cared about me. The X-Men... and the school... won't abandon you even if you want it to. They're dreadfully persistent about that whole 'you are one of us and we love you' thing."

There was that flee-like-a-little-girl instinct again. Back to his suite, where he could lock the door and shut everything out. Although if he did that, he'd wind up waking up to find that all the furniture had mysteriously moved itself into a barricade in front of the door again, and that would be humiliating...

"Guess you can teach an old dog new tricks," Nathan muttered, blinking rapidly. "You'd think I'd have clued in after a half-dozen instances of getting the rolled-up newspaper to the nose, though..."

Hank laughed softly. "Nathan," he said, affection warming his tone as the conversation took a turn he'd encountered many, many times before, "if you were at all inclined to avoid personal injury in a sensible fashion, you wouldn't be here at all. This is not, and I include myself in this, an occupation that sensible, intelligent people indulge in." He reached out, making sure Nathan saw him coming, and enfolded the older man in a large, furry hug. "But we look out for each other in our mutual stupid bravery. You'll get used to it."

Nathan flinched, but not as violently as he might have. Hank's mind was wide-open, projecting soothing, warm thoughts with an edge of pride that part of Nathan couldn't help but boggle at. "Confusing," he muttered feebly, not pulling away from the hug. "It's all so confusing..."

"Oh, well, you'll get used to that too." Hank rubbed his back gently, as if he was much younger. Nathan had been seriously short-changed on hugs, in his life, and with Moira and Amanda both away, someone had to stand in and give him one. "We're all mad here, as the Cheshire Cat said to Alice. But in a good way. And a way that doesn't abandon its own, even if they have to be pulled out of their hidey-holes kicking and biting."

Nathan took a deep breath that turned into a wince. "Ow. Damned ribs," he complained a bit shakily, finally drawing away. What was left of his pride kicking in. "Number of times I've broken them... the X-rays must be interesting."

"Indeed." Hank patted his shoulder gently. "Please don't do it any more. I really don't want to have to start doing major surgical reconstruction on you." He didn't like doing it on anyone, but it was even more frustrating on people who he just knew were going to go out and do something foolish and undo all his hard work.

"I'll try and avoid it." Nathan ducked his head for a moment, rubbing at his eyes with a shaking hand. "I don't think... I'm supposed to be teaching today, but I don't think I could concentrate."

"I imagine that has all been taken care of." Hank nodded. "If you want to sleep, I can give you something... or if you're hungry, I can procure food for you."

Another ragged laugh slipped out. "Sleep... I'm so exhausted, Hank, it's not even funny. This has not been a great few days." He took a careful breath, forcing himself to look up at the other man. "I'd be afraid of dreaming, again, though..."

"I'll make sure you don't," Hank said gently. "In the Box, maybe, so the thoughts of others can't intrude? And a sedative strong enough to keep you from going into REM sleep..."

The Box. It would certainly be quiet in there. Very attractive idea. Nathan nodded, sliding carefully down off the bed with Hank's help. "No dreams, not having to shield..." He managed a wan, tired smile. "That would be... awfully nice."

Hank nodded, privately resolving to knock Nathan out for at least twelve hours. "Then to the Box we go. I'll let people know where you are." He tucked a hand under Nathan's elbow, guiding him in the right direction. "And I'll contact Moira, and tell her not to worry if you're not in touch for a little while. She'll approve of you getting a really good sleep, anyway."

"Don't tell her I broke something," Nathan joked weakly as Hank steered him. "She'll fly back just to smother me with a pillow or something..."

"I won't. I'll just tell her you tired yourself out again, which she'll believe at once, and that you actually agreed to take a sedative and have a nice, long, restorative sleep, which will please her." Hank got him to the Box, and lifted him easily onto the bed, pulling the blankets over him. "There. I'll go get that sedative for you... oh, and I'll reassure Bella too, I'm sure she'll worry if you don't come home."

"Full-service, this place," Nathan murmured, amazed by the fact that the banter was coming more easily. "Pill-dispensing, fiancee-placating, and parrot-reassuring..."

"We like to make our customers happy," Hank agreed, smiling. "And no pill. Injection for you. Then I'll go placate the fiancee, feed and reassure the parrot, and let Scott know that I knocked you out."

Injection? Nathan wondered a bit dimly, but by then Hank was already closing the door, and the quiet hit him. Absolute quiet, not even the breath of a foreign thought against his shields. He could sense the Askani, but they were so still, little more than a warm, comforting murmur.

When Hank came back in, needle at the ready, Nathan was already asleep. He administered the injection anyway... it was just as well he wasn't aware of it, really, but he needed to stay asleep this time. To be safe, he stole Nathan's trousers again, determined to hide them better this time. That might at least slow him down a bit.