[identity profile] x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] xp_logs
Wanda seeks some silence and alone time after the memorial and everything else is over and done with. Dr. Strange finds her, which she doesn't seem to mind, and she realizes that someone else was affected by the attacks. She offers comfort, he takes her home, they meditate. (No, really, they do!)



Wanda sighed and leaned against one of the bookcases. Her head throbbed badly from the mornings events. The Columbia memorial had gone well, better than expected, but it had still been rough and emotions had been high. On the lookout for both Amanda and possible threats, Wanda had realized she hadn't meditated nearly enough that morning. Not with a crowd that size and all that noise and distraction.

Edging her way into the back of the library, she sat at one of the map tables. Eyes closed, she was grateful for the fact that it was relatively empty, perhaps empty enough to allow her a few minutes to collect herself and smooth down those ragged edges.

"Wanda?" The voice was soft, hesitant, but perhaps not as nervous sounding as it used to be. More the voice of someone unsure if now was a good time to intrude... As Wanda opened her eyes to see Stephen standing next to her chair, he added. "If you need some time and space, I can go."

"Stephen." She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. "No, please have a seat. I am just a little—frayed around the edges, I'm afraid." She glanced up at him and frowned. "But I cannot imagine how you must feel right now..."

"I saw you slip away, once the children were on their way, and I followed you..." Stephen admitted, slumping rather than seating himself with his usual discipline. "I didn't want... I couldn't face being alone. Certainly not in my office - it overlooks the parking lot, did I tell you that? Every day, find myself looking out the window, and remembering..." Something crumpled in him then.

Reaching over, Wanda put her hand on his. "No, you did not mention it. And I didn't know when I was in there. I can't blame you, it must have been harder than anything I can put into words. Everyone focuses on Amanda and Nathan when it comes to this--and with good reason--but you were there as well."

"I didn't want to detract from what Amanda was doing, what Nathan is going through..." Stephen shivered at the touch, and turned his hand to clutch at hers almost desperately.

Oh, this was serious, she realized. It had been obvious from the start that he was unused to physical interaction--interaction at all, really. He kept himself so isolated and now...Wanda held his hand tightly and put her other one over top as well. "It does not detract, Stephen," she chided softly. "They both went through hell and so did you. It hit in different ways from what I have seen, but you were all affected."

"Two of them were my students... They were on their way to see me, after my session with Amanda, and they got caught up in it. That pyrokinetic fried them in their tracks." Strange struggled with the words, the emotions he'd finally lost a grip on after bottling them up for so long, and around him the air grew heavy, charged with power. "I was too slow, too afraid to act... I didn't want people to see, to know what I could do, and my selfishness cost lives..."

Wanda stiffened slightly. She could feel _something_ building in the air around them and she knew it wasn't her. Magic, his obviously. She focused on him, listened to his words, instead of thinking about it. She knew what it was like to have emotions effect your abilities. "It is not your fault," she insisted. "This Mistra, this organization--lay the blame there but not on you." Her powers flickered slightly, already frayed control from earlier and she frowned. The brief second--those strings didn't look _normal_...

"I do lay the blame there, but I cannot take steps against them, I cannot stop them... They're still taking and warping children, did you know that? Still out there, unpunished..." There was another surge of power, and the bookshelves around them creaked ominously before Stephen realized what was happening and pulled himself back in control, with effort. Something felt... off "Wanda, what...? There was something...?"

"I'm not sure," she responded, keeping one hand in his but pinching the bridge of her nose with the other. "Strings were different, off...haven't seen it like this before." Find that center, she told herself sharply, _concentrate_. After a minute, she breathed again. "There, that should do it until I meditate this evening." Wanda looked over at Stephen and frowned. "I have no idea what that was about, I am sorry." She sought to turn the conversation away from this, obviously disconcerted by what she had seen. "Have you spoken to Nathan, maybe he has some way that you could be of help with Mistra?"

"It's too soon, too close for him - he can't even consider it, when Mistra are his dread god..." Realising her powers were effecting his and vice versa, he made a further effort to pull himself together to get the magic under control. "I'm sorry, I let things get out of hand, and they effected you - forgive me." His tone was unconsciously pleading, as if he expected her to wrench her hand from his and stalk out. And the touch of her hand on his was the only thing keeping him together right now. The only thing keeping him human, he reflected dimly.

There was a sense of desperation in the air, Wanda knew, and gave him a small smile. "Stephen, if you apologize, I will only apologize more and then we will be here for _hours_," she managed. "But I suppose you're right about Mistra and Nathan... but you might try speaking with Dr. MacTaggart." She thought for a second. "She's in Scotland right now, but e-mail would work. She could tell you who in the Mansion to speak to. Because you seem that if you can't do something it will keep eating you apart. And you don't deserve that."

"I can't. It's not my place, and I've interfered enough with the business of the school and its students. This is not my task, it is Nathan's and I cannot be involved." He gave her a wan smile. "Besides, I have other responsibilities, other duties, and I have already been too lax in them, and that has harmed my student, and Manuel. I can't afford to let my concentration be divided - it is what She is hoping for."

She nodded. "Yes, I can understand that," Wanda responded softly. "Are you going to be alright, though? With the stress of what's happened here and what's happened to the kids?"

"To be honest? I don't really know right now. Perhaps later, when the memory is less sharp. Meditation will help - I was going to take myself home to do that, since I can't bear to go into my office today." He paused, and his hand tightened on hers slightly. "It would help, if you could... no, I can't ask that, it's too presumptuous."

"Stephen, there are not many things that I find too presumptuous," Wanda said, perhaps a little wryly. "Ask. If I can help, I will. The worst is that I'll say no and try and find another way to help."

Stephen swallowed convulsively, and dropped his eyes to their hands, still linked, and seemed to take courage from that. "Come home with me? For a few hours, only, if you have the time. I feel... I feel better when you are around. Calmer." He looked up at her, expression a curious mix of desperation and hope. "And it would be quiet. You seem like you need quiet yourself, today."

To say she was taken by surprise was an understatement. Both by the actual question itself and by the statement that her presence seemed to have a calming affect on him. Nonetheless, Wanda found herself pleased--probably more than she would have thought possible—and smiled at him. "I would love to. I'm not normally considered a 'calming' presence, but if you think it would help, I certainly can free up some hours for you. Besides not really desiring to go back to the mansion, I could do with some quiet myself. Meditation seems to have been...eluding me lately."

"Perhaps I can help with that?" he suggested, feeling as if a weight had been lifted. Or perhaps he'd found the strength to carry it. "The magic...it demands a lot of calm, and I spend much of my time trying to achieve that. And talking to you also helps a great deal. You make it all right for me to be... human." He gave her an almost-shy smile. "Thank you."

She squeezed his hand lightly. "I am only reminding you that you are human," she said, softly. "We all tend to forget that, I think. I'm glad I'm helping you to remember that. And if you can help me with the meditation, I would be most grateful. It's been difficult for a while. Maybe the training is starting to get to me, I'm not sure."

"I had a feeling you needed the break - the mansion can be... intense, emotionally." He let go of her hand, but only long enough to stand and offer her his arm. "Shall we? My chariot awaits. Well, my rather old and battered car awaits, but it'll serve the purpose." Relief had made him almost giddy.

"You have no idea," came the dry response. Standing up, Wanda slid her arm through his and smiled. "At least you can drive a car. If it we were left to my devices, it would be a motorcycle."

"When I was a boy, I always wanted a motorcycle..." Stephen said reflectively, and then gave her an almost boyish grin. "Perhaps when the weather improves?"

Beaming, she nodded. "Certainly, I would love to. Even if I do not have my own, I'm sure I can still persuade Scott to lend me his for the day." There was a bit of mischief in her eyes as she said that. "I've taken good care of it before. So, where is your home at?"

"A couple of hours' drive, on the fringes of the city. Close enough for work, far enough away to get some peace when I need it... Half-way between here and the school, actually, so I can give you a lift back later..." Stephen clamped down very hard on the slightly wistful hope that perhaps she wouldn't leave that night, surprised at himself. "And I do appreciate this, Wanda, very much. It is a new experience, having friends one can ask help of... I take it I'm learning?" The last was said almost teasingly as he escorted her out of the library and into the cold winter afternoon. The light was already beginning to fail, and those people they saw were all subdued and thoughtful.

The wind was brisk and even though she was used to bitter winters, she still took the opportunity to draw closer. "Yes you are," she laughed, pushing her hair out of her eyes so she could see. "Having friends around is good, especially in times of need. And it sounds like you have the perfect set up--a good drive to clear your head and a place to vanish to if things get too much to handle."

The tint of red in his face had nothing to do with the wind and everything to do with the sudden sensation of another warm body very close to his...Strange nearly stumbled for a moment, before recovering himself. "It is small, my house, but something of a haven. I like it, although sometimes it can be too quiet." He smiled to himself. "When I crave human noise and movement, I sometimes astrally project myself into the busier cities. London, Paris, Munich... I can't touch, can't effect anything, but I can watch and I can listen. It is most... enlightening."

"Now that is interesting." Wanda thought for a moment, she assumed that perhaps some of the telepaths could do this but wasn't sure. "With all my travels, my haven is the forest. Does not matter where, as long as I can escape to the quiet of the trees. Though I do enjoy Paris and all those cities. But we all need a break. Tell me, is this projection...anything like flying? Now _that_ sounds like it is the ultimate freedom."

Stephen nodded. "It is. We all have dreams of flying,yes? Well, the ancients believed that when we dreamt of flying, we were actually leaving our bodies and floating free. Over time there have been many mystics who developed this skill deliberately, to various degrees of success. It is my... specialty, I suppose you'd call it. Most magic users have one – a particular area or skill they are better at than anything else. And some of them clash - someone like Rack, who enjoyed inflicting pain, could never have cast a healing spell, even if he had wanted to." He seemed to realize he was lecturing her, and gave her another abashed smile. "But yes, astral projection is very much the ultimate freedom. I do not know if you possess that particular capability, but I could try to teach you, if you'd like? It's not unlike meditating, at least initially."

Patting him on the arm to reassure him, Wanda seemed pleased by the offer. "I'm not the type of girl to turn down something new," she teased. "I would love to try. I do not know if I have the capability of doing so but it certainly could not hurt." A frown crossed her face. "I do not know if I have to be careful, though. With the ability to cause chaos as I do--it well, is unpredictable. A little over fifteen years and I still sometimes have trouble controlling it."

Carpe diem. Seizing the opportunity, Stephen lay his free hand over hers where it lay on his arm, half-expecting to have her jerk away, knowing she wouldn't, hoping she wouldn't mind... His mind, usually so ordered and disciplined, was chaotic - the pressures of the day, the heady presence of Wanda so close to him, the stress of Amanda's speech and the confrontation with the FoH boys... it was all jumbled together. "Well, I've been told I need less order in my life, and sometimes you need more control...perhaps we'll rub off on each other?"

It was rather obvious that there was no minding at all and that Wanda was content to leave her hand under his. "It'll certainly be interesting if we do. Finding the medium between the two would be good for us, I suppose." This evening was certainly becoming more interesting with every passing second. "Like I said earlier, it has become harder to maintain calm and keep my powers where they should be and not out making light bulbs shatter as I walk under them. A nice effect but rather annoying when I have to clean it up."

"I can imagine..." Stephen replied. "When did you...manifest, I believe the term is? Powers such as yours must have been difficult to control, as a child. And I think you are doing admirably well now." Given the topic of conversation, they were keeping their voices low, and Stephen realized how... intimate this was. Of course at that moment one of his students happened to pass, fortunately not stopping to chat since it was cold, but definitely giving them an openly curious stare.

"I did not have it as rough as others," Wanda mused, noticing the student and how Stephen turned even more slightly red. "But...I suppose one would say that I am fairly powerful. I have not used what I've termed 'hex bolts' in training before, but imagine a bolt of entropic force hitting a living being. That is one side of my power and the reason that I clamp down as hard as I do."

"That I can understand, the clamping down, the fear of hurting others. You understand magic, how easy it is to be led astray..." By now they'd reached the faculty car park, and Stephen guided her over to a rather beaten up white Renault hatchback. The front passenger seat was covered in books, and he hastily gathered an armful and tossed them into the back, where they joined even more chaos - books and papers and odd little bits and pieces. "After you," he directed, holding the door open for her.

Sliding in, she took a moment to get adjusted. Thankfully, there was just enough leg room for her to be comfortable without having to move any seats around. Waiting until he rejoined her, she commented, "Yes, even the best intentions sometimes have the worst consequences, or so my healer used to tell me. She was the one who actually helped me gain control over my powers, even though they weren't magical in nature."

The car was a little cranky to start, but reluctantly did on the third try. Pulling out of the lot, Stephen nodded. "That's exactly it. And sometimes the least harmful spell can be devastating when used with ill intent. I've been trying to teach Amanda this, only we keep running into whatever crisis she manages to get involved in and it keeps knocking us back to square one."

"And now she's off in New Orleans, which will probably help her but might hurt where you two are working at," Wanda commented, wiggling slightly to get more comfortable. Ah, there, much better. The heater suddenly started up and she concentrated more on Stephen and the drive, and felt those tense muscles from earlier start to relax.

***

Stephen pulled into the driveway of a small, slightly ramshackle little house set a way back from the road. "It's not much," he apologised, then realised who he was talking to. "But you won't mind that, will you?" He was actually feeling more at ease in the company of another person than he had in a very long time. It was... refreshing. Heartening. Good.

"It's the person, or the family, who make the house," Wanda replied, smiling at him. "The house sometimes has nothing to do with it." Waiting until the car stopped, she slid out of front seat and stretched slightly. The drive had been longish but overall, incredibly pleasant. The more time she spent with Stephen, the more she realize she enjoyed his company. Pausing, she looked at the house. "It certainly has a lot of character."

He laughed. "That is one way of putting it. Idiosyncratic, I believe one of my students called it. One of the very rare occasions I've had a student here - there were some volumes that were too fragile to bring to the office that he needed to look at for his PhD, and so I brought him to the volumes." Locking the car and gesturing for Wanda to accompany him up the front path to the door, he continued. "I must warn you - the number of books I have... you may never wish to leave."

A soft laugh escaped at that. "Sounds very promising," she said, grinning. "I have seen the inside of your office and if this exceeds _that_, then I shall truly be impressed. The problem with being a traveling researcher--I have no place to keep such a large collection of books."

"Then prepare to be impressed. Perhaps even boggled," Stephen said with a grin, unlocking the door and giving it an extra shove with his foot at the bottom where it tended to stick. He needed to put the heat on, so it wasn't exactly cozy just yet, but that wouldn't take long... Flicking on the light switch, he waved Wanda inside. "Welcome to my home. Well, my personal library, but there's homey bits around - a kitchen and so forth. I even have a bed, somewhere..." He flushed a bit at how the last sounded.

Wanda's eyes widened considerably as she stepped through the doorway, taking everything in. The place was wall to wall books, and they had obviously started to find other places to live, considering the sheer volume. She did spot furniture, here and there, a few of them covered in books as well. "Oh my," she breathed, stepping up to the first shelf as Stephen went to fiddle with the heat. "What do we have here...?" Reaching over, she smiled in delight when she discovered a book of German folk tales, in German thankfully, on the first shelf. She flipped through it idly, muttering to herself in German.

He chuckled, pleased. Not everyone shared his particular obsession with the printed word. "My Eastern European collection isn't extensive, I'm afraid, he said, shedding his coat and dropping it and his briefcase on a rather battered chair by the door. "But it has some interesting pieces you'll enjoy. My own area of interest is Asia, hence the large number of titles not actually in romanised text..." She was obviously engrossed in what she was reading, so he ducked into the kitchen to put tea on. And to toss last night's takeout containers in the trash.

"We spent a good deal of time in Germany," Wanda said, raising her voice just slightly so that he could hear her. "Among other places. The Black Forest was always my favorite and their folk tales are incredibly interesting. I was still young enough the first trip through to _really_ enjoy them as stories. Eastern European is where I excel at, actually...not surprising." Well versed in how to take off one's jacket while still reading a book, she quickly shed her winter coat.

"They're also based on older myths a lot of the time - I'm interested in myth as history, and seeing how they echo each other, across cultures. Creation myths, for example." Tea in pot, clean cups, sugar, milk... did he buy milk this week or last week? Luckily the use-by date said this week. The kettle boiled and he poured the water into the pot, before carrying the entire load out on a tray. "Ah, could you...?" he asked, nodding at the coffee table which was buried under a spread of National Geographics and other journals.

Putting the book back, Wanda headed over to the coffee table, trying to be careful as to not knock anything over. Placing her coat on an empty surface, she quickly scooped up the journals and placed them in a neat stack underneath the coffee table. "There we go," she said, settling herself down on the couch in front of it.

"Thank you. You might have noticed, I get distracted by the academic rather easily. To the point where I forget things like cleaning up, laundry, sleeping... eating," he admitted with a small chuckle as he set down the tray and sat down next to her. "And speaking of which - anything you wish to borrow, please, help yourself."

"Don't tempt me, Stephen, I'd never stop coming over," she teased. "And it's more than understandable--I get that way as well. If my mind is set upon something, there's very little that will be able to distract me. I keep getting kicked out of the gym for being in there too long and then being kicked out of the library for being in there too long--sense a pattern?" Wanda smiled a little when he handed her a cup of tea and brushed her hand against his taking it. "Best part about being cold is the warming up."

"Maybe I should tell you about the volumes of Romanian history dating back to the invention of the printing press?" suggested Stephen, managing not to blush at the contact, although the deliberateness of it sent a shiver through him. "If it would mean you'd visit often?"

"Oohhhh. I believe now you will have a hard time making me _leave_." She was both intrigued by the book and delighted in the banter. Stephen certainly was unwinding in the time that she had known him.

He did blush at that. "Well, as I said, you are welcome to borrow anything you like, and visit, if that is what you want, and er, I, that is, if you..." he floundered, looking down at his hands before making himself stop being such a blithering idiot when he'd _started_ this. "I wouldn't mind?"

Taking pity on him, Wanda nodded and took a sip of her tea to hide her smiled. "I would love to. Not only would I love to browse through the books--are you sure you're not loaning to the library on campus with all these books--I also rather enjoy your company." Well, this should certainly get an interesting reaction, she thought. She wasn't as lost as he was but pretty close, only better at hiding it than Stephen. This was certainly not how she normally went about things.

"You do?" It came out sounding more pleased than surprised, although there were elements of both. Taking refuge in the familiar - and loved - topic of books, he added, hurriedly. "As for the loaning of books to the library... I did, at one stage, have an arrangement with the campus, only several important volumes went missing, or came back damaged... not all students respect books as they should. When I got back one volume of North Korean fairy tales back marked with highlighter and the pages dog-eared, I'm afraid I... 'did my block', I think Amanda calls it? Now I only loan to those I know, and can trust." He hazarded a shy smile. "And like."

She fairly beamed at him for that. "Thank you. I understand all too well how treasured books can be. And there are probably a good deal of books you own that are not exactly replaceable. I'll treat them well, when I borrow them. Though that will probably mean I will need a ride. I certainly do not want to take any of these on the bike." Wanda looked slightly horrified at that thought.

"Indeed not. And I would be pleased to give you a ride any time you wanted one..." Luckily Stephen's grasp of slang wasn't entirely up to date, or he might have self-combusted at that one.

"One of these days I will learn to drive a car," she said. "But not soon." Besides, there was a certain jet she had to be taught to use, she thought. "Besides, there are enough people I know who know to drive that I can make do." Wanda smiled at him as she leaned back. The couch was surprisingly comfortable. "How long have you been at the University?"

"I never left?" he joked, finding himself admiring the play of light in her hair - it brought out flashes of red highlights among the chestnut. And her eyes... Wrenching himself back to reality, he went on. "I've been at one university, or another, for almost my entire life. College professor is a good cover for the magic, and it's something of a family profession, both the magic and the academia. I studied at Oxford, and then spent a year or two traveling Asia before settling down to teach. I've been at Columbia now for close on ten years... not my first posting, by any means, but the one I enjoy the most. And there are those duties and responsibilities I mentioned. It's been known for a long time there was an ancient evil in New York, but only recently have we realised it has a name. My job is to keep tabs on that."

"Interesting. I guess it's kind of like teaching at the Mansion and being an X-Man, duel duties though it's easier since our students know of it. Well, I would assume since I am certainly not teaching at that level." Wanda was enjoying catching the looks he was throwing at her. She was certainly enjoying the view from where she was. Being attracted to someone was not new for her but it had been a while since it had been at this level. "And I can guess what that ancient evil in New York is."

"Amanda is the only student I have that knows anything of my 'other life', as it were, so yes, it can be rather difficult. Columbia, for example..." He frowned, but made himself go on. "I used my powers to help, there, although there was little I could do. Over-extended myself, really, given I'm more the contemplative bookish type of magician rather than the sort that throws around force bolts and the like. I was fortunate, that the panic and chaos meant no-one really paid attention to me." Leaning back, hands wrapped around his teacup, he went on. "If there had been trouble today, with Amanda's speech... I would have acted. Even if it meant everyone knowing it was me."

"That's very brave." She raised her eyebrows at him when he gave her a look. "No, it is, really. We have to hide who we are every day just to get by. And when you're there doing another job as well, I can see how hard it would be. And from what I hear of what happened, you did very well that day."

"Not well enough, but... I saved lives. Some. Magic doesn't fare terribly well against military hardware, and I'm not warrior. Just a rather socially-awkward academic." He gave her a small smile, and set his tea cup down. "And I believe meditation was on offer? And a lesson in virtual flying?"

"Oohhh, yes, please." Nearly bouncing, Wanda placed the cup down as well and looked at him expectantly. "Your house, so I will follow your lead. Where is the best place to do this at?"

"Wherever you're comfortable, so here is as good a place as any," he said, getting up to sit on a small footstool opposite her. "Now, make yourself comfortable first - you'll know from meditating that you can't concentrate if your feet are falling asleep." As she settled herself a little more into the couch, he reached out with both hands. "I'll ground you. It can be a little... unnerving, the first time." Another smile, this time with gentle humour. "And I wouldn't want you to float away from me."

Laughing softly, Wanda accepted his hands and intwined her fingers through his. "That would be disappointing," she commented, closing her eyes. "So would my feet falling asleep." She took another second to get comfortable in the new position and then nodded. "Consider me completely in your hands right now."
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