Monday night, Jamie/Kitty: Return of the Cuteness

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Starts angsty, ends . . . not. And I hope that wasn't an expensive rug in the parlor.



Kitty: Kitty is curled up in 'her' armchair in 'her' parlor, books scattered around the chair, a cup of tea cooling on a table. She unlocked the door when Jamie said he'd come up to see her, and since then she's just been staring out the window, not even trying to work.

Jamie: Jamie opens the door quietly and enters the room; he's got a glass of milk in one hand and a smallish, square white cardboard box under the other arm. He pauses uncertainly a few steps into the room. "Uh, hey."

Kitty: Kitty looks over towards him, her eyes dark. "Hi."

Jamie: Jamie crosses the room and perches on a nearby chair, setting the box and glass on the floor next to it. "I, um--how are you?"

Kitty: "I'm ok. How are you?"

Jamie: "Better. Really better, not just saying so. The Professor and Ms. Blaire helped a lot." He shifts slightly in his seat. "Sorry I was such an idiot."

Kitty: "That's ok," she says quietly as she looks out the window again. "I'm sorry I couldn't help."

Jamie: "You probably could have," Jamie admits, staring down at his knee. "I just--I didn't want it to touch you. I thought--I was on three hours of sleep in four days by then, so I was thinking a lot of stupid things--it felt like I was down in a hole, and I didn't want to drag you down with me."

Kitty: She sniffs softly. "Yeah but... if we're both in a hole we can help each other out."

Jamie: "I didn't think of that. It just--it hurt so much, and I thought, better me than you." Jamie fishes a slightly-tattered Kleenex out of his pocket and blows his nose. "I didn't want you to hurt too."

Kitty: "Yeah, I know..." Her voice is still quiet as she looks out the window. "It just... it seems like I can't help anyone."

Jamie: Jamie blinks. "What do you mean?"

Kitty: "Oh, I don't know," she says as she lets her head fall back against the back of the chair. "It just seems like everything's going wrong and I can't do anything and I should just stay out of everyone's way or I'll mess it all up."

Jamie: "Don't." Jamie shifts again on his chair, fishing for the right words. "It wasn't--all that with me, that wasn't--that was me not asking for help, it wasn't your fault. And I can't--you're so much of what's good about my life, I--that night when you were in the treehouse, I almost--I thought maybe just you being there might keep the nightmares away, and now that I'm getting better--I don' t know about everyone, but I need you." Jamie scrubs his sleeve across his face and sniffs. "God, I'm sorry, I--don't ever think like that, it's not true. God, I'm such an idiot."

Kitty: "No you're not. I knew something was wrong... that you'd been out there... and I couldn't help. I didn't know how. I can't help you and I can't help Betsy and I can't help my parents..." Now she's sniffiling too, trying not to cry, and she feels like he's so far away, that everyone is.

Jamie: "Oh, damn--"Jamie kicks over his milk getting up and crossing the distance between their chairs. He pauses for a second--there's no good way to do this--then perches awkwardly on the arm of Kitty's chair and tries putting his arms around her, hoping she isn't phased out.

Kitty: Kitty manages not to sob as she curls up in his arms. She's shaking a little bit, and her hands clutch tightly at his shirt, holding on for all she's worth.

Jamie: Jamie tightens his hug when he knows she's solid. "I'm here now. And you help me just being here, I want you to believe that. I'm not going to push you away again. And I dunno if there's anything we can do about your parents, but we can talk about it if you want. And what happened to Ms. Braddock was definitely not your fault." Jamie blinks and shifts his feet around. "And I'm about to fall off the chair. Um. Is there room for you to scoot over?"

Kitty: She slides over so there's space, not letting go of him and practically pulling him into the chair. "I know it's not my fault..." she pauses, thinking. She knows Scott knows, but he didn't mention what she did and maybe no one else does. "It's just one more thing..."

Jamie: "Well, you shouldn't even think like that. Dr. Essex screwed up. How does that have anything to do with you?"

Kitty: She sighs and turns her head, hiding it in his shoulder. Her voice is muffled as she says, "He didn't screw up, things were more complicated than anticipated..."

Jamie: Jamie blinks. "How do you--he didn't have you help, did he?"

Kitty: She nods into his shoulder, biting her lip though he can't see it, afraid of what he's going to say.

Jamie: "Dammit," Jamie growls, holding Kitty closer. "He shouldn't have done that, you're not a doctor, you can't even vote. And no way should he have gone off and left you thinking it was even a little your fault." Jamie blinks. "Hold on, didn't you say he took you to a symposium that week?"

Kitty: Kitty shook her head. "I know it's not my fault..." she said, her voice still muffled. "Doesn't mean I don't want to help." When he asked her that she froze in his arms. "Yes."

Jamie: "So on top of saddling you with a job you were just barely trained for, he had you lie about it to people who love you?" Jamie sighs. "God, no wonder you're messed up about it. I dunno what business that guy has teaching an ethics class." He strokes her back soothingly. "I'm not mad at you, honest. Kinda wish I could turn my mom loose on him though."

Kitty: A singal hot tear slides down her cheek, landing on his shirt. "It's... it wasn't like that. I was the only one they could trust."

Jamie: "Well, even so. What was stopping him telling you to point all questions his way so he could answer them with 'I'm sorry, I have to protect the privacy of my patient?' At least that would've been the truth, and you might feel better about it. Must've been awful for you."

Kitty: She sits up, pulling away. "Betsy stopped me, not him! She didn't even want people to know about it, so if they'd asked questions then I'd have already messed up. Everyone's so upset that he did it without telling them, but none of them are even thinking about the fact that she asked him... me... us not to tell!"

Jamie: "See, I get that, though. There's ways to duck questions that aren't lying, is all I'm saying--and he always could've told her he couldn't do the surgery here so if she wanted it it'd have to be at a real hospital--eh. I shouldn't be second-guessing everything after the fact, I guess. Hit me next time I do that. It's just . . . Dr. Essex, or maybe both of them, stuck you with all of this and I'm kinda mad on your behalf, because it was really unfair to do that to you."

Kitty: "I guess..." she says, settling back against him again. "It... it never seemed like that. I was needed. I could help with something, instead of just... just staying out of everyone's way up here and studying."

Jamie: "Yeah, well, you're never in my way, okay? Next time you start going stir-crazy we'll go . . . I dunno, volunteer at a shelter, or bug Dr. MacTaggart about going back to Scotland, or I'll have my license pretty soon and we can drive down to NYU and you can go Good Will Hunting at the physics department until they run away, or--whatever you want. I know it's not huge world-changing stuff, I just . . . I look at Dr. Essex and I think, he never comes out of the lab, I have no idea if he knows how to have fun, and . . . you have so much more to offer than that. I love that you're so smart, I wish I could see the things you see, but . . . that's not all you have to be, you know? So I worry you'll start picking up his habits and miss out on everything."

Kitty: Kitty throws her arms around Jamie, holding him close. "Thank you. Thank you for being you, and for being with me, and for everything, and if you ever shut me out of something important again I'll... I'll... I'll come up with something horrible to do and do it. And I won't forget how to be me as long as you never forget how to be you."

Jamie: "That's a deal, then." Jamie grins and kisses the side of her head. "And I know just how to celebrate it. Stay right there." Jamie extricates himself from the chair, eyes the milk spill dubiously, and grabs the little white box before settling back next to Kitty. The box lid has "Roth Family Bakery" on it in blue. "This actually kind of takes a little explanation."

Kitty: Kitty looks at the box for half a second, then glances up. "Well?" she asks, sniffling just a little. "So, explain then," she adds with a smile.

Jamie: "Well, when I was working at the Beacon School shelter, one of the people staying there was this neat old guy who played chess, and it turns out he's one of those old guys who play chess in Central Park like on TV--well, anyway, I played him a few games, and we were talking, and your name came up because I talk about you a lot. Eventually I had to go do something else, but he gave me his phone number in case I was ever in the city and wanted to play again--really nice guy."
Jamie: Jamie pauses. "At this point I'd like to make it absolutely clear that I had my calendar clearly marked a month ago, it's just, I wasn't really looking at my calendar last week. So I woke up today and saw my calendar, which I had clearly marked, and kind of panicked, and called Mr. Roth--that was his name, Adam Roth--and said, 'Hi, it's Jamie from the shelter, I did a really stupid thing, so I was just wondering if there was anything special I should do if I needed to apologize to my girlfriend about forgetting Rosh Hashanah.' And he said, 'Ah, this is not a problem, you can ask anyone and they will tell you that the Roth Family Bakery makes the best honey cakes in Manhattan. I'll tell my nephew to deliver a box right away, and she'll love it, and all will be well.' And he must have, because his nephew drove up about an hour later with this box." Jamie opens the box, which is full of sweet-smelling honey cakes. "So, happy belated Rosh Hashanah and I promise not to be an idiot anymore."

Kitty: Kitty blushes when Jamie mentions that he talks about her, and then again when he says he had the New Year marked on his callendar - having someone paying so much attention to her and thinking about her is still novel, and wonderful. "Oh Jamie..." she manages when he opens the box, and a little tear slips down her cheek while her shoulders shake with suppressed laughter.

Kitty: "You're ... you're amazing, you know that." She sniffs, another tear following the first and getting wipped away.

Jamie: "I'll say. I didn't eat any of these already." He hugs her. "And you're amazing too, so no more hiding from everybody, okay? We'll be amazing together right out in front of everybody and they can just deal with it."

Kitty: She sniffs again and nods, a few more tears slipping out, and she's fairly certain if she doesn't stop crying now she's not going to manage it for awhile. "Um, did you bring plates then?" she asks, attempting to distract herself

Jamie: Jamie blinks. "Um. No. I forgot the plates. And the napkins. I guess we'll have to make an amazing mess."

Kitty: Kitty laughs a little. "I think we can handle that."

Jamie: "'Course we can. We're talented." Jamie picks up one of the sticky cakes. "Open wide. You've had these more often than I have, so you have to tell me if Mr. Roth was right about them being the best in Manhattan. I have to tell everybody about the bakery because he wouldn't let me pay, and I don't want to do any false advertising."

Kitty: She laughs, and obligingly opens her mouth.

Jamie: Jamie pops a bite of cake into Kitty's mouth, eats the rest of the piece himself, and licks his fingers. "Well, that one was pretty good. Wonder where he gets his honey, I bet my mom's is better . . . what do you think?"

Kitty: "Oh, this is good! We never had professionally baked ones at home, mom would make them. This is much better." Kitty shoves the thought that this brings up away, smiling.

Jamie: "Well, you never knew a guy who knew a guy. Want another one?"
Jamie waves another cake enticingly. "I'll probably get sick if I try to eat them all, and you don't want that . . ."

Kitty: "Yes please," she says with a giggle, opening her mouth again and closing her eyes.

Jamie: He feeds her the second cake, grinning. "Mr. Roth sure knows his apologies. We should go visit. I bet you're better at chess than I am."

Kitty: "Oh, I don't know," she says after swollowing. "You're better at looking at problems from every angle than I am. Probably at least as good at strategy too."

Jamie: Jamie appropriates a third cake and eats it whole. He grins once his mouth is clear. "Well, I always said if I couldn't be the twins I'd be Ron, so maybe you're right. We'll just have to team up. I'm pretty sure Mr. Roth has played chess every single day since it was invented, so we'll have to."

Kitty: "That sounds like an excellent plan."

Jamie: "Cool. And afterward we can swing by NYU so you can scare the physics department. I'll just make sure I have another box of these with me in case they try to lure you away with particle accelerators and faculty positions and things."

Kitty: She laughs. "Faculty positions? Not hardly. I'm not even up through junior year undergrad equivelency, let alone a PhD level."
Kitty: "Besides," she adds, smiling, "NYU's got nothing on you. Columbia maybe, but not NYU."

Jamie: "Well, I wasn't thinking of going until next week." Jamie grins. "And I'll cross Columbia off the list, then, thank you for tellling me."

Kitty: Kitty laughs, leaning against him and snagging another cake, breaking it in half and giving Jamie the larger piece. "Welcome."

Jamie: Jamie finishes off his piece of cake, and instead of licking the honey off his fingers smudges it on Kitty's nose. He snickers at her expression. "Well, I had to mark the occasion in the traditional manner."

Kitty: Kitty laughs. "Oh, fine. But surely we've got some new, better traditions, haven't we?" She pouts up at him.

Jamie: Jamie grins, and leans in to kiss her. "That we do."

Kitty: "Wonderful," she says, kissing him again.